


biding our time (until tomorrow)

by TheTruthAboutLove



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), DC Extended Universe, DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: AU, Angst, Courtship, Drama, F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Pining, Slow Burn, Soap Opera
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2020-07-27 10:42:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 56
Words: 109,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20044669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTruthAboutLove/pseuds/TheTruthAboutLove
Summary: [...] “About that,” Ava said, walking to her desk to grab the other letter. “If he makes it past the New Year, it won't matter if a Major or a Colonel older than me runs. I'll be appointed General, soon.”Nate gasped at that and his eyes lit up. “You cannot possibly lose. The only other candidate that might get in your way-” his shoulders slumped a little. “Colonel Diggle. He does have one advantage that might allure to people more than your rank. He's married, on the family way.”Both Rip and Lance sighed, shaking their heads. Ava frowned.“That is easily fixed,” Nate amended.OR, a past!AU where Ava is a Colonel who wants to be elected Governor, but to do so she has to marry quickly, and who better suited than the daughter of her Captain, Quentin Lance? Except, things get a lot more complicated than that.





	1. The letter

**Author's Note:**

> Past!AU, in a year far enough from the present that arranged marriages were still a thing, but homophobia doesn't exist because I said so. The war mentioned is fictional, some of the details (i.e.: military ranks) are from USA history, some other things (older daughter has to be wed before the younger) are from traditions of other Countries. Basically this is an AU and isn't set in our world, so don't take it too seriously. This is basically a slow burn with a complicated plot that will be updated quite often.
> 
> Enjoy!

The sun was quickly settling down on the horizon as they were getting ready to leave their post at the city border. The gate was about to close when one of the men shouted for them to stop and look ahead.

A man was riding towards them as fast as the wind, his horse barely stopping in time when he came to a halt at the gates.

“I have a letter for the Colonel,” was the first thing he said, not even bothering to introduce himself to the men before him. “From the Governor himself. I'm not to give it to anyone else but the Colonel or one of the Captains.”

“You're in luck then, boy,” Quentin Lance stepped ahead. “Captain Lance,” he offered his hand, then nodded to a nearby building. “Ask Miss Jiwe to give you a room for the night, say I'll pay for it in the morning. Get some rest, feed your horse.”

He nodded, hands trembling from the effort and the ride.

Quentin looked down at the letters in his hand. He didn't need to open it to guess what it said. He hurried up and didn't look behind as he walked to the closest horse he could set his eyes on. It belonged to a soldier, but he let Quentin have it with just a nod and the promise to return it. He rode, fast and steady, with his heart trumping in his chest, not dissimilarly to how the young man was doing just a few minutes ago outside the borders of their city.

When he got to the Colonel's house, it was dark outside and colder than before. He saw a light coming from one of the downstairs rooms and he knew immediately what to expect. As he guessed, Rip Hunter was sitting in one of the chairs, reading an old book.

“Quite late to be visiting someone else's home. People talk, you know?” Quentin had never disapproved of Rip. He had never approved of him either.

“Let it be extravagant talk, then,” he smiled, undeterred by Quentin's entrance. “You're in someone else's home, as well, I see.”

“Gentlemen, please. My two Captains quarrelling this late at night is hardly proper.”

Quentin turned as Rip got up, both of them stepping ahead towards the reading room's doorway, both of them nodding their heads.

“Colonel Sharpe. I have a letter from the Governor himself, young lad just delivered it at the border for you. This late and this urgent, I think this might be the news we were waiting for.”

“Ah, you see, that is why Rip is here. Captain Hunter?” Ava encouraged him to explain.

“The letter arrived by regular mail this late afternoon, Captain Lance,” Rip said, nodding to an opened envelope on the nearby table. “The Colonel shall be made General as soon as the new month arrives.”

Quentin frowned, raising the letter still in his hand and handing it to Ava.

“What'd you reckon this is, then?”

The woman shrugged, ripping open the sigil and reading quickly through it. She turned on her heals, closing the door behind her, then thought better of it and opened it again, shouting for her groom. Well, he started out as a groom but given the softer nature of the man, Ava had deemed him more fitted to be some sort of butler, to stay indoors. He just referred to him as her assistant, despite how modern and quirky it sounded.

“Gary!”

The man trotted inside after a few silent moments. “Yes, Colonel Sharpe?”

“Gary, go fetch Mr Heywood. Stop at nothing, and if the Major asks you why you need his son, tell him you don't have a clue.”

“I _don't_ have a clue.”

“Exactly like that,” Ava shut the door again, trusting he could get to the Heywood mansion and back in one piece.

“What do you need Nathaniel for?” Rip frowned once the door was closed.

Ava looked back at them, raising the letter in her hands.

“Can't be,” Quentin tried not to smile. “Sad news.”

Ava bit her lip to refrain from smiling as well. “Quite terrible, really. The governor has fallen hill, this letter is from his daughter. She can make him lean toward someone from our city, and if not she can convince him not to say anything at all, and she'll give the recommendation on his behalf herself after his... tragic, horrific departure.”

“How hill?” Rip asked, trying not to sound eager.

“New year, not past the first month at the longest.”

“The Governor-” he stopped, realizing he was talking to loud, so he lowered his voice. “Governor Darhk,” he said again, “is dying?”

“And I'm to be made General in a month,” Ava added.

“There are only two other Generals in the whole State, both too old and retired already,” Quentin reminds them, even though there's no need to do so. “You might be elected, and even if you come in second the State will itch to keep you in politics.”

“This is why I sent for Nate.”

“_Nate_?” Quentin raised an eyebrow.

“The Heywood boy, good friend of mine. Not as good as the Governor's daughter, but he's a good lad and I trust him deeply.”

“Oh, Ava,” Rip whispered. “You want him to run your campaign. Won't he choose to run his father's instead?”

“Heywood's a Major, and quite happy with his retirement,” Quentin said. “The boy's smart, one of my daughters has some common friends with him. If you trust him, he might be a good match for this.”

Ava nodded and started to pace, her brain working at twice its usual speed. At that point, all they could do was wait for her groom to be back.

Shortly after silence befell them, there were two knocks at the door, and when Ava opened it again Gary was standing there, out of breath, despite having gone by horse.

“Mr Heywood is here,” he announced, despite Ava being perfectly able to see him herself.

“Mr Heywood,” she greeted, “please, come in.”

Nate took off his hat and walked into the room as the door was closed behind him and Gary. Ava hesitated for a moment, not sure Gary should be there. He'd never been good with secrets. She asked him for a very important favour: to go fetch her uniform from upstairs, then bring it to be washed by Mrs Tomaz at the shop in town. He frowned at the odd request made far too late in the evening, but he nodded and went to do as he had been told.

Ava gave the letter to Nate. They waited as he read it. Then they waited as he pondered why he'd been called there.

“I will run the best campaign you could ever want. You won't even notice you're running, you'll be Governor without realizing you are.”

Ava raised an eyebrow.

“I mean, assuming that is why I'm here.”

She nodded, pleased with his response to the matter at hand. “This stays between us until we announce it officially, we don't want to come off as vultures.”

“He has been quite a terrible Governor,” Nate reasoned. “We can start some rumours, so people will get used to thinking of you as a candidate for the job. Quite a good one, enlisted without conscription, because women aren't forced into arms, spotless career and won us a boarder and our city back. Unless a Major older than you runs-”

“About that,” Ava said, walking to her desk to grab the other letter. “If he makes it past the New Year, it won't matter if a Major or a Colonel older than me runs. I'll be appointed General, soon.”

Nate gasped at that and his eyes lit up. “You cannot possibly lose. The only other candidate that might get in your way-” his shoulders slumped a little. “Colonel Diggle. He does have one advantage that might allure to people more than your rank. He's married, on the family way.”

Both Rip and Lance sighed, shaking their heads. Ava frowned.

“That is easily fixed,” Nate amended. “You will be appointed in a few weeks, you could marry quickly after, it could be done before the Governor even passes.”

“I cannot marry a man,” Ava said, firm and almost appalled. Rip raised an eyebrow at her and Ava was quick to backtrack. “With my title and my wealth, any man I marry would want to be the one to run for Governor. Why else marry me?”

“For love?” Rip dared. “But I agree, I doubt you'll fall in love in this short time, but there is still a way. Odd, surely, but not unheard of for women of your rank and title, who volunteered and made it back home.”

“Yes, I was thinking the same,” Nate agreed. “Perhaps you might not be keen on it, and of course, if that is indeed the case, we could have you run no matter your conjugal status. But we should consider the possibility...”

Ava prompted the end of his sentence, but he looked over at Rip, who turned to Quentin. He looked at Ava with kind eyes and a raised eyebrow.

“Maybe not for love, not in two months time, but you shouldn't marry someone you would never grow fond of, either,” he told her, gently. “What the boys are saying is, perhaps you could consider proposing marriage to a woman.”

“Oh,” Ava frowned. “Yes, I suppose if I were to marry- but I've never been fond of someone enough to even consider courting, let alone marriage!”

That wasn't the entire truth, but it was close enough to it and it would have to do since she wasn't keen on sharing that piece of her past with them.

“Well, we could try to think of someone appropriate,” Nate reasoned. “Someone from a good family, possibly military as well. A similar age to your own, if possible, you're still quite young so it shouldn't be a problem to find an unmarried woman your age. Proper, educated, well liked by our people...”

Rip and Nate both slowly turned to Quentin.

“Do you not have two daughters, Captain Lance?” Rip asked.

“I do. But Ava, you don't have to chose one of mines out of obligation to me, as great as a honour that would be.”

Ava felt overwhelmed by everything that had been said, and at the same time hopeful about the future ahead of her. This was something she had worked all her life toward to. At this point, if she had to marry for appearances, who could be better than the daughter of one of the few people she had ever trusted?

“The honour would be mine, Captain Lance. You know how I look up to you, it would be a blessing, really.”

He smiled at that, pleased with the answer.

“It's settled, then. You can come meet Laurel the day after tomorrow, as soon as I've talked to her. You two can get to know each other, see if there might be a chance of a marriage working out. And then we can start planning this campaign.”

Ava nodded, pleased with the conclusion they had reached.


	2. The apples

Ava had no idea how she should dress to meet a woman she was meant to eventually propose marriage to. She opted for one of her uniforms, it was the thing she felt more comfortable and confident in. The black boots, the light grey pants, the dark blue long jacket with golden details, everything about it made her feel at ease.

She was aware that it had the opposite effect on others, more often than not, but she so rarely could bring herself to discard it, it had become a second skin to her.

Gary offered to escort her into town, but she was nervous enough without his constant blabbering and vibrating energy, so she insisted she would go by horse alone and so she did.

The Lance residence wasn't flaunting, it was functional and proper enough. She left her horse at a polite distance from the house and walked up to the front door trying to remind herself she shouldn't feel nervous for this. The Lance girl probably wouldn't want to get married to her anyway.

She knocked twice, then waited. Conceited voices were coming from inside the house and Ava frowned, thinking maybe this was a bad time after all. But the Captain himself came to open the door for her, inviting her in immediately.

“If this is an inconvenient time-” Ava started, but the conversation in the room Quentin was leading her to, quickly covered up the rest of her sentence.

“A Governor, Laurel! You could be married to a Governor!”

“I heard you the first four times, mom.”

Quentin cleared his voice, and suddenly both Lances women turned to see her standing there and fell quiet.

“Colonel, good morning,” Dinah greeted her.

“Mrs Lance, always a pleasure. Miss Lance,” Ava nodded to the younger woman. “I believe we haven't yet had the pleasure,” she gently offered her hand to Laurel, smiling at her.

“Colonel Sharpe. It is nice to finally put a face to the name.”

Silence befell them once again.

“So, it appears our daughter had neglected to tell us about... a suitor of hers,” Quentin started.

“Ah, I see,” Ava's smile didn't falter. If anything, she felt suddenly a lot more at ease.

“Well, he's no future Governor,” Dinah muttered under her breath.

“I told you that in confidence!” Quentin reprimanded her.

“I'm sure he's no good-for-nothing boy either,” Ava considered.

“Oliver Queen,” Laurel said, proudly, eyes challenging her father.

Quentin scoffed, but said nothing else. He turned to Ava with an apology ready on his lips, but she shook her head, calming smile still in place.

“He's quite the catch, from a noble family. Quite easy on the eyes, too. If you love him then you should absolutely marry him, there is no better reason to do so.”

Laurel smiled at her, thankful for her understanding. “I do love him. And he loves me.”

Dinah sighed. “Well, nobility isn't going to get him far in life, the future is in politics, that's what everyone's saying nowadays.”

Ava hummed. It was something they had to learn the hard way; if they wanted to change things, they had to do so through proper channels, and if they didn't know anyone important in politics, then they would make politicians out of themselves. Ultimately, she viewed politics the same way she viewed the military: as a tool to serve the people, not to retain power over them.

“I wish you and Mr Queen the very best, then.”

Dinah commented on how polite she was being, how she wasn't commenting on the half deal she had with Quentin, how dapper her uniform was, but Ava caught none of it.

A girl, a beautiful, charismatic hurricane of a girl, walked into the room, not announcing herself and not greeting anyone. She was carrying a basket full of apples and her hands were dirty, like the bottom of her dress and her shoes.

“For the love of God, Sara,” Quentin muttered. “Greet our guest at least, would ya?”

“Oh my, you've gone out again to get your hands dirty! How many times have I told you?! If you can't refrain yourself from unnecessarily working, at least consider doing so indoors!” Dinah sounded exasperated.

Ava couldn't help but intendedly watch as she put down the basket and wiped her hands on her dress, before offering her hand to Ava – only after she threw a look at her father that said “_See? I'm doing what you asked_.”

“Sara Lance.”

“Ava Sharpe. You must be the Captain's youngest.”

“So I am. You must be the Colonel's daughter. I've heard Colonel Sharpe will be Governor soon, my mother hasn't stopped trying to get Laurel to marry him ever since dad gave us the news.”

“I deeply apologize, Colonel. The women in my family... big mouth, almost as big as their hearts,” Quentin grimaced at Sara's introduction.

“It is quite alright,” Ava reassured him. “My parents died when I was still very young. So I must assume the Colonel you're referring to should be me.”

Sara seemed surprised to learn the information, but Ava didn't quite believe the surprised look she was sporting. Then again, if she remembered correctly the youngest Lance had a tendency to never listen to her father.

“Oh my, quite the misunderstanding. I do apologize. You are terribly young, to run for Governor,” Sara tried to explain.

Ava nodded. “I feel like the army has exhausted his ability to help the average citizen. I thought maybe politics could do.”

“Then I'm sorry my sister's heart was stolen before you had a chance to meet her.”

“I'm glad she's found love. So rare in this day, people used to find it quite easier. Modern times, I fear. Still, I suppose I should run unmarried.”

Quentin asked Ava to join him in the adjacent room, they made plans to meet the following week with Rip and Nate as well, so they could start making a proper plan. He also advised Ava to write to the Governor's daughter and ask her to visit as soon as convenient, so they could converse face to face. There were still a few details to iron out, but they could do that in due time.

Ava reminded him not to work too late and to learn how to delegate, she had business to attend in town for the day, even though it was Sunday, but she would be back at her post the next day and she would meet with Quentin then.

She was on her way out, when she saw the youngest Lance head to the garden, a basket was in her hands but, unlike the previous one, that one was empty. She walked to the apple tree in the far part of the yard and climbed the ladder she had no doubt left there a few minutes prior, then started to pick out the apples carefully, attentively.

Ava couldn't resist making her way to the tree, hands steadying the ladder Sara had climbed. Sara glanced down briefly, then went back to her apples.

“Your mother does have a point. You shouldn't work outdoors, especially now that your family will marry into a noble one.”

“My mother isn't my guardian, I'm all grown up.”

Ava hummed. Stubborn, and hotheaded too, probably. “I'm in dire need of an indoor maid.”

“You should probably hire one, then.”

Ava sighed, then hummed again. “My house is far enough from the town that if, say, an indoor maid were to pick apples and do gardening, nobody would notice. And if said maid, after her family gained a noble title, wanted to stop by and tend some of the plants, none of my servants would ever rattle her out.”

Sara paused, looking down at her, one hand still on an apple, the other clutching the basket.

“I don't need a paying job.”

Ava hummed again. “Well, you can still come by, if you're so inclined. No job involved.”

“Would I get to keep the fruits I pick?”

“Of course, and the plants and flowers you grow. I'm not looking to make you do work for me, Miss Lance. I'm offering you a garden slightly more... secluded away from prying eyes.”

“How generous. What's in it for you?”

“You're my Captain's daughter. Nothing's in it for me, I look out for all of my men's families, at least I try to.”

Sara's brows furrowed, she didn't seem to believe it, but not finding a catch in the deal she nodded. Without a word, she turned back to the apple and started picking them again.

“I will consider it.”

Ava raised an eyebrow that Sara didn't see, so focused on her tree.

“Very well. Goodbye, Miss Lance.”

“Colonel,” Sara saluted her and didn't turn to watch her as Ava walked to her horse to ride away from the Lance's home.

  
  


On her way back, she stopped at the Heywood's, she asked for the Major and conversed with him about how retirement was treating him and how his wife was doing, then nodded to Nate when she caught sight of him. He lurked around very much noticeably after that.

Henry was a smart man, he would know something was up by evening, but Ava kept the conversation polite and didn't try to cut things excessively short.

When she headed back to her horse, Nate followed without a word.

“Subtlety is not your strong suit, boy.”

“Boy? I'm older than you!”

“Are you?”

“By years! I remember when you were a few months old, Mr Sharpe let me hold you. I almost dropped you.”

Ava stopped in her tracks, turning to him slowly. “You almost murdered me?”

“Not on purpose,” he defended himself. “I was five, they shouldn't have trusted me with an infant! But you were perfectly safe, my father would have caught you.”

Ava nodded, dismissing the topic altogether. “I was at the Lance's. Apparently Laurel Lance has her heart already set on another.”

“I see. The younger Lance?”

Ava shook her head. “First of all we said proper, well liked. The youngest Lance is neither. Secondly, we would have to wait for the oldest daughter to marry, of course, and if I know the Queen's they'll want a flaunting, enormous wedding, so it'll be no short engagement. If I have to marry before the Governor has passed then surely both of the Lance's sisters are unfit.”

Nate nodded. “Very well, I suppose you could still easily run unmarried and win.”

“I shall,” Ava agreed, a faint smile on her lips.

“What has you in such a joyful mood?”

She frowned, her smile disappearing slowly as she tried to control her expression. “I don't know what you mean,” she said, then hesitated. “The younger Lance, you know her?”

“We have some common friends.”

“She was picking apples this morning, one of the oldest families of the city, about to marry into a noble title, and she had her hands, shoes and dress covered in dirt.”

Nate snorted. “Yes, sounds like Miss Lance.”

Unknowingly to her, as she was heading to her horse to head back home, the smile returned on Ava's lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was thinking of adding 2 chapters per week for this fic, but possibly this week I'll post 3 because the first few chapters are just introductive to the story and the characters, so stay tuned. What are you thoughts? Lemme know!


	3. The tavern

Ava had just picked up her morning tea, blowing on it lightly. She was just about to take the first sip, when Gary ran in looking scared and out of breath. He pointed in the general direction of the front door frantically.

“There's a mad woman, destroying your property!”

Ava frowned, immediately putting her tea back down. She got up in a hurry, glad she already did her hair in a bun and was dressed properly. She grabbed her jacket on her way out, Gary already keeping the door open for her.

She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw what was waiting for her outside.

“Gary,” Ava sighed. “Come along,” she gestured for him to follow as she started walking again, putting on her jacket on in the meantime.

“Careful! She has a shovel!” Gary pointed out, seemingly terrified.

“Miss Lance,” Ava greeted loudly enough for Sara to hear her despite the distance still between them. “I gather by your presence you decided to accept my offer? Without agreeing by letter or in person and instead just showing up here,” she added under her breath.

Sara turned, looking at her for a long moment, then looking Gary up and down.

“You mentioned growing plants.”

“So I did,” Ava nodded.

“If the soil is good, then yes, I'd like to accept your offer.”

Well, truth be told, it did baffle her more than a little how Sara appeared to be particularly picky, but she didn't comment on it.

“Gary, provide Miss Lance with anything she asks, within our means. And if you happen to pick up a few of her skills along the way I certainly won't complain,” she added, patting him on the back lightly.

“Will do, Miss Sharpe.”

“It's Ava, Gary,” she reminded him. “And now that I've made sure there is no crazy woman destroying my propriety I'll go to work. Have a pleasant day, Miss Lance.”

“You as well, Colonel,” was the only thing Sara replayed, already indented on moving the dirt and grass around to see if she could grow flowers on her land.

Ava smiled to herself a little. Well, maybe it was a bad idea, but it would sure as hell be interesting, at least.

  
  


The tavern was scarcely crowded, like it often was at lunch time on a week day, but Ava usually preferred it that way. She could go in without having to see many people she'd rather avoid and still she could get things done.

“Miss Jiwe,” she greeted the woman behind the counter. “How are you today?”

“Cannot complain, we've had some business and my mother's in a good mood,” Amaya smiled at her, offering to bring her food.

Ava declined politely and asked for a glass of water instead.

“And how are you, Colonel?” Amaya returned the sentiment, handing her the water she asked.

“In quite a good mood myself, the works down at the river are almost finished and as of tomorrow the houses uphill will have water again.”

“And fast, too,” Amaya noted. “I gather the state of your clothes is because of this, then?”

Ava looked down at her own pants, a little self-conscious about it. “I couldn't just stand there and not help,” she admitted. “But I digress. I came by to ask if you need anything, I haven't spoken to your mother in days, regrettably. I did see your sister the other day. At least, I assumed it was her and not you because her hair was tied the way she favours and she didn't smile upon seeing me greet her.”

Amaya raised an eyebrow, but smiled at that, and leaned closer, elbows on the counter.

“Do I always smile when you greet me? I suppose I do have a sweet spot for you.”

“Not always per se, but you do when I'm with Mr Heywood.”

Amaya ducked her head at the comment, but didn't bother to deny the truth in it. “I suppose I do have a sweet spot for him as well.”

Ava hummed, knowing far too well how they cared about each other. In the silence that followed, Amaya turned somber.

“There is one thing. The fella who came in Saturday night with the letter from the Governor, he's been here since, sleeping and drinking on Captain Lance's tab, eating quite generously too.”

She nodded her head to a table behind her back and Ava turned to a table, four men playing cards and drinking whiskey in the corner, one of whom she'd never seen in town before.

“I'll cover the tab he's built up until now, but nothing more. I will tell him so myself, if he's trouble you let me handle it,” she smiled to Amaya again, then put the glass of water back on the counter and headed for the table.

Three of them, she knew. One was Thomas Merlyn, had some trouble but he was a good man, the other two were Jefferson Jackson and Behrad Tomaz and she had a very high opinion of both.

“Gentlemen,” she greeted.

They all greeted back, and the young man she didn't know nodded in her direction.

“I believe you came in town to bring a letter addressed to me?” Ava told the man, offering her hand to him, which he shook politely. “I received the letter, and paid your tab with Miss Jiwe. Thank you for your celerity, I won't need to send a reply, so you're welcomed to get back home whenever you wish.”

“Oh, I can't go back upstate, ma'am.”

“Well, you are also welcomed to stay, but Mrs Jiwe demands the rooms be paid in advance. I'm sure you understand.”

“I have no job,” he pointed out. “But I'm a hard worker and a quick learner, if you know of anything at all I could do around here.”

Ava hummed, sighing internally.

“I could use a pair of hands on the works we're doing at the border. That's the last glass of whiskey I ever see you with when there's light outside, if you work with my men I won't have you be drunk on the job and endanger them.”

“Of course, yes.”

“Tomorrow morning, Mr Jackson can show you where it is, if his knee has healed.”

“It has, all healed up, Colonel,” Jax nodded. “And I need the hours.”

“Very well, then, I'll see you both tomorrow,” she turned to leave, then remembered she didn't even ask him who he was. “What is your name, boy?”

“Boy? I'm about your age, ma'am. And the name's Harper. Roy Harper.”

“I will see you tomorrow, Mr Harper,” she nodded at him, then at the other men at the table, and left the tavern after paying Amaya what was due on Mr Harper's account.

  
  


Things at the river took longer than she expected them to, and by the time she got back home the yard was empty and the sun was starting to fade on the horizon.

She had almost gotten to the front door when something caught her attention and made her detour to take a closer look.

On the side of the house, where the day before was nothing but grass, she could see now loose soil, it didn't look like something had been planted in it, but it looked like someone randomly dug two lines in the ground and then left before any real work could be done.

She frowned at it, like she expected the dirt to say something for itself and justify this nonsense, but the ground didn't budge under her gaze.

“Maybe there _is_ a mad woman destroying my property,” she muttered to herself.

“Miss Sharpe!”

She jumped, turning quickly. Gary was standing just outside the front door.

“Gary, you scared me half to death! Come on, let's go inside. Did you have dinner already?”

She walked to him, patting him on the shoulder gently, leading him inside and shutting the door, not really caring or even noticing that it should have been his job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know we're still in the part of the story where all the characters are introduced but if you want to let me know your thoughts about this story I'd be happy to hear them!


	4. The seeds

Sara got up bright and early on Monday morning, ready to head to the Sharpe's property and see for herself if it was all it was made up to be.

She didn't know Ava Sharpe. But, of course, she did know _of_ Ava Sharpe.

Sara had grown up in Starling, she had lived there all her life. And nobody who was from around there, least they lived under a rock, could say they had never heard of Ava Sharpe. Made Captain at twenty years old, after being the lone survivor of a vicious battle, she was quick to raise in ranks by making smart albeit bold decisions. Most people would have chosen to get back home as Captains, Quentin and Rip had. But they had families, while the Sharpes had long since died. So Ava had stayed and fought, winning back the city first and a few state boarder battles after. Came the amnesty, she was Colonel, at merely twenty-three. After one year back home, she was now almost twenty-four.

Sara remembered, about a year before, when Major Heywood had paid her father a visit to inform him their Colonel was coming back and she would be in charge of the two local Captains. Sara was twenty-one, then, and had never understood war. She had barely seen it when she was younger and was glad as everyone else when it was declared it was ending.

That is why she recalled so clearly the Major's words: “Such a shame, really, the war ended with her so young. She would have thrived in it.”

Sara had known it was a joke, of course. Still, she vowed that day to steer clear of the Colonel, for what kind of woman thrives in a war?

Her own father had always seemed so taken with her. Laurel's age, two years older than Sara herself, yet to Quentin she had always been both a daughter and an equal. Fierce and brave in a way Dinah had tried to teach her daughters not to be, yet fair and understanding in a way Quentin had often implied a male Colonel wouldn't have been.

Yes, Sara knew of her. She had always imagined a hard woman, shaped by war into someone ruthless. She had not anticipated the softness.

She had heard a few times Amaya describe her as their knight. Sara couldn't understand why, since knight was a term long gone, but she had said Ava was a warrior from a time when warriors served their people, not their rulers. And whenever Sara had heard someone talk about her, she had always heard kind words. So she had elected to stop listening completely.

She didn't want to hear nice things about the woman who would thrive in war.

Whenever she heard soft words being spoken in regard of her, Sara would wonder what kind of darkness Mr Heywood had seen in her.

Then Quentin came home one night, telling them the Governor had fallen ill. The Colonel could run, but she was advised to be wed first. Someone from a military family, someone polite and well-liked, someone her age.

Sara had left in a hurry, not looking back, not slowing down until she reached the Queen's estate asking to see Mr Queen as soon as possible. Oliver had always been fond of her, in a different way than the one he was fond of her sister; he loved Laurel dearly, but he desired Sara. He and Laurel had courted for a while, properly, but he had told Sara, in no unclear terms, he could have Tommy Merlyn propose to her in a day, if Sara agreed to marry Oliver once her sister was settled.

She hadn't believed him, she knew how fond of Laurel he was. But he was also young and spoiled, and he would have said anything to draw Sara closer to him.

That day, she had ordered him to propose to Laurel himself, that very night, with hurry. She had begged him to set his head on straight and do the right thing, the proper thing. She had told him to grow up and be an honest man, a good man. To love Laurel like he could and not like he had. Deep down, they'd both always known Laurel would always be the love of his life, even in times when he was blind to it.

Oliver asked for Laurel's hand that night, and proposed to her as soon as Quentin gave them his blessing after Ava had visited their home on Saturday. Sara was genuinely happy for them.

The day Ava came to visit, Sara ran into her.

She acted like she had no idea who Ava was, then she kept her answers stubborn and rude, just to get a raise out of her. But alas, the Colonel had been patient with Sara, and ended up offering her something Sara sought.

Yet, Sara was sure there had to be ties to the deal. She just couldn't find any on the spot, so on Monday she decided to go check out the property. It was perfect for a garden, out on the yard, and quite a few trees were already growing, their fruits only rarely picked and only after they'd already fallen to the ground.

Ava had two servants; the scared groom who acted more like a butler, Gary, and a young woman who seemed to do nothing at all around the house, except burn everything she tried to cook and break most of the things she tried to clean, Mona. They both had been unable to keep any job in town for more than a week, but had been with Ava for months. She seemed to keep them working even though they were so inept at their jobs.

It made Sara suspicious. Why hire someone nobody else wanted when she was the one with the best military income in town?

But the property was stunning and the soil was good, so Sara set off on Monday afternoon to get to the market and buy herself the seeds she wanted to grow, returning even earlier on Tuesday, ready to get to work again.

She had just started to get to work when she was distracted by someone knocking on the main entrance's door. Turning her head, she got up immediately, recognizing the girl standing at the door.

“Zari?”

The woman turned, squinting her eyes at the girl she had seen crouching on the dirt and that she now recognized.

“Sara?!”

They walked to each other, meeting halfway.

“What are you doing here?”

“I'm tending to the garden. I like outdoors work and Miss Sharpe offered her own yard, since it's away from town nobody will see me be _improper_,” Sara chuckled.

Zari smiled, nodding. “Yes, it does sound like her to offer. I hadn't realized you knew her.”

“I don't. We met the other day, she knows my father,” Sara explained.

“Oh, right, he's the Captain.”

Sara nodded and was just about to ask what was Zari doing there, when the front door opened and Ava walked out, dressed in a uniform that didn't look like it had been just put on, it was dirty and crumpled up, clashing with the perfect hair and pose of the woman wearing it.

“Zari?” Ava smiled, then caught sight of Sara. She tried to amend herself: “Miss Tomaz. Miss Lance.”

Ava walked to them, offering her hand to Zari. She forwent it altogether to give Ava a brief hug. Sara saw Ava try to hid her smile as she returned the hug strongly for the split second it lasted.

“You forgot to pick up your uniforms, my mom sent me,” Zari told her, raising the satchel in her hands toward Ava.

“Yes, I just realized this morning,” she gestured down at her attire. “I got messy at the river yesterday and then this morning I had nothing clean to wear.”

“I'm glad I came so early, then. I was hoping to catch you.”

“We haven't talked in a while. We should catch up, soon. How's work going?”

“Oh, it's fantastic! The library has so many books on such different topics, I just love it!”

Ava smiled at that, in such a soft way. If Sara thought Ava's features were soft before, compared to what she had always imagined her to be, it was nothing compared to how she looked when Zari was excitedly telling her this.

“Good. I'm very glad. I have to head to the river, but I'll drop by the shop this week to thank your mother and we can talk more?”

“Yes, gladly so. Now go change! I'll wait for you so I can walk with you for a while, until our paths diverge,” she offered.

“Thank you. I'll be just a moment,” Ava told her, then turned to Sara. “Miss Lance, if you need anything at all, let Gary know and I'll get it for you.”

Sara nodded, then watched in silence as she went back inside the house to change her clothes.

“So you mom's shop does deliveries now?” Sara asked, knowing full well it didn't.

“Only for her.”

“Why? You got a soft spot for her?” Sara asked, frowning. The thought didn't sit well with her, probably for the same reason Laurel marrying her didn't sit right with her either.

“You don't know?” Zari frowned. “My family... her uncle made us her house servants when her parents died. Me and her were eight. Behrad was ten. My dad worked as a groom, my mom as a maid. She was too young to understand what money and class meant, so she refused to study if Behrad and I didn't do it with her. She's the reason I can read and write and she got me the job I have at the library. She's like a sister to me, even if she didn't have to be.”

“I didn't know that,” Sara whispered. She had always assumed Zari's parents had some connections with a teacher, but this made more sense.

“When she came back last year, after all those years in the army, my dad was too old to be her groom. She gifted my parents their shop when she left for the war and couldn't give them jobs anymore, never wanted a cent back. My dad comes by to teach the new fella the basics of it, but he's not very good at it. He's got no close family, just like the maid. Ava doesn't care they're not very good, she can cook herself and she doesn't even really need a groom, since she takes care of the horse, but she needs an excuse to keep them living here and to pay them something.”

“I didn't know that either,” she frowned.

“Well, you've known her shortly, you've said. She doesn't easily open up. Didn't before, either, mind you. But, since she came back... she's more distant. We grew up together, but I barely see her anymore. Nate says the same, he's her cousin. We all grew up around each other, but she doesn't speak to us as freely anymore.”

“Nate's her cousin? Wait. Hank's her _uncle_?”

“He is. He was her mother's brother. You didn't know?”

“The one who-” the one who said the thing about her that stayed with Sara for the entire year. “The one who hired your parents?”

“Yes. He couldn't take her in, but his sister lived with Ava until she was old enough.”

Sara had a million questions ready to be asked, but in that moment the front door opened again and Ava stepped out, her clothes as clean as she looked.

“I'm ready to head off,” Ava informed Zari, then something caught her eyes. “Oh, you've bought seeds! Wonderful, I wasn't sure if you were coming back when I saw the garden last night, but now I realize it was so you could plant these today.”

“So it was,” Sara confirmed. “Should I have asked which seeds you would have preferred?”

“Whichever you chose I'm sure it's perfect,” Ava nodded politely. “I hope you have a pleasant day,” she wished, then headed off with Zari by her side, the two of them talking amicably as they were heading off.

Sara was left to stare after them, thinking about her previous impression of Ava and how it might've been wrong. Wondering if it had been perhaps a mistake to stir her away from Laurel, wondering, even, if maybe she did so not for Laurel's own good but for a reason she couldn't yet properly understand. And then she lost herself in the memory of the first time she had met Ava Sharpe, more than six years ago, before she left Starling for the military.

She shouldn't have indulged in the memory as often as she did, yet she found her mind wondering there, yet again.


	5. The good mood

It was still early, despite Ava having to change her clothes she was perfectly on schedule, so she let herself walk slower as she and Zari talked. The morning sun was starting to feel colder, the summer had already slipped into autumn and it felt like the temperatures would further drop soon.

“My mother was quite surprised, since you never send anything to the shop, when your new groom came with a satchel full of uniforms.”

Ava grimaced. “I truly am sorry about that. There was a... miscommunication.”

“Yes, we thought there might have been.”

Ava turned, raising an eyebrow at the comment. Zari smiled to herself.

“More than half of them were clean.”

Ava sighed. “I asked Gary to urgently take my uniform to your family's shop so they could wash it, it was the first excuse I could come up with to get him to leave the room. He must have taken every uniform he could find. I suppose he tries to overcompensate for the things he does wrong, and ends up doing worse.”

Zari laughed at that. “He's part of your staff! If you want him to leave the room just ask him to!”

“But I fear he might feel left out. I try to let him hang around, but it was... quite the private conversation I was having.”

“Ava Sharpe!” Zari gasped. “Were you entertaining improper company?”

“Just Nate. You know how I've been thinking about going into politics-”

“Have you? I didn't know.”

That made Ava pause. “I've not been a good friend, have I? Since being back.”

Zari stopped walking completely and turned to face Ava, her eyes soft. “You've always been a great friend. You have been otherwise occupied, and we all understand that. But it feels, sometimes, like you never really did come back. It has been a year since the war ended, but between rebuilding and fixing up everything you've barely taken a breath of air. And even in those rare moments you allow yourself to rest and enjoy friendly company, we end up talking about the weather, the shop, the uniforms, any silly argument we can think of because we fear anything deeper will scare the other away.”

Ava considered her words carefully for a long moment.

“Perhaps. Does not make much sense, does it, not nurturing a friendship for fear of ruining it?”

“You won't have to talk about what you saw. Or did. But I would love to hear more about this politics thing you're talking about. And those invitations you get each Thursday to come for a Saturday dinner are never sent out of obligation or habit, so perhaps you could consider accepting them more often?”

Ava nodded, deep in thought. “Yes. I didn't even know you knew Miss Lance, I've been clearly out of your circle.”

“It's Starling! Everyone knows everyone!”

They laughed at the joke, as they started walking again.

Ava bit her lip but the smile on her lips was still blatant. “She thought the Colonel that Quentin told her about was my father, when she saw me. It was quite funny, I thought poor Mrs Lance was going to have a heart attack!”

“She did _not_ tell that to you, did she?”

“She did! Alright, let me start from the beginning. So, as I said, I've been thinking about politics, because we need more funds and I cannot control where those go as a Colonel but I could as a Governor, so Nate and I were talking, all hypothetical, of course, about what it would be needed to do so I could run.”

“You're a Colonel, so that's something.”

“Yes, quite young, which doesn't hurt since everyone upstate is saying how Darhk was sworn in too old,” Ava added. “But apparently people like their candidates... settled.”

“Settled?” Zari squinted her eyes, then gasped. “He did not-” she almost yelled, then looked around and lowered her voice. “He did not propose to you, did he? Does he not know you don't really entertain male company of that kind?”

Ava scoffed. “They all appeared to know, Rip, Quentin and himself, despite the fact that I have never told them. They said it would be ideal if I married the daughter of someone in the army. That's why I was at the Lance's.”

Zari grimaced. “Sara isn't really the marriage type. And she's young, turning twenty-two in December.”

“Well, Laurel's twenty-four, I'll be twenty-four in November, so it seemed perfect. Apparently Oliver Queen proposed to her the very day Quentin told her he would like for her to meet me, get to know me, to see if a marriage would be wise.”

“Laurel?! I mean, it does make more sense than you marrying Sara, but still, I think she's loved Mr Queen for a while.”

“I had no way of knowing that,” Ava defended herself. “But it was for the best, I do wish to only marry for love, if I one day wanted to.”

Zari smiled at the soft admission, nodding along Ava's words.

“The point was not that Laurel is now engaged,” she got back on track. “The point is that this is how me and Sara met. She was picking apples on the front yard and her mother was complaining about how it was in poor manners. Since my house is further from town I offered my yard. She seems to have a passion for gardening and my own has been going unattended for so long, it seemed like a nice thing to offer.”

“It baffles me that she accepted it, if I'm honest. She doesn't deal too well with accepting help of any kind,” Zari commented, as they came to a stop again on the point their roads diverged.

“It isn't help, it's just my land. She grows the plants herself, and gets to keep them as her own. That's the agreement.”

Zari made an impressed face. “Well, I do hope it works out. And think about my offer about the dinner, please. This week we should have it at the tavern. Nothing formal.”

“I will. Thank you. Speaking of the tavern, how are things with Miss Jiwe?”

“What do you mean, me and Amaya are still friends,” Zari frowned.

“Not her, I meant Charlotte.”

“Charlie? We barely stand each other.”

“Mh. I must've lost my eye, then. Still, we can talk about it more in the future. And please, tell your mother I shall go and visit her this week, I'm sorry I haven't been by in a few days.”

“I will. Have a nice day.”

“You, as well.”

  
  


Zari headed to work, but she thought a lot about her conversation with Ava. They had grown apart ever since Ava had left Starling, but had kept in touch through letters and visits, and they had both been overjoyed when they eventually got reunited.

But alas, they could never quite go back to being the kids who overshared everything with each other, being improper and disregarding manners.

Ava had always been polite, but the army had made her a kind of polished that made it difficult for Zari to get past her defences. They talked, once or twice a week, when they visited each other or wrote to each other, but it was mostly pleasantries and to check the other was doing okay.

It baffled her how, sometimes, as an adult, you could care so much about someone and yet not be able to speak freely about deeper topics or problems. She supposed life was often chores and pleasantries itself, especially for Ava.

Maybe Sara could change that about her.

Sara had always been the opposite: open and honest to a fault, bold where Ava was polite. Maybe they would be good for each other, balance each other out. Or, maybe, they would unhinge each other so much they would end up not speaking in a fortnight. Zari wasn't quite certain which one it would be.

She was still happy about the encounter when her shift ended and she rushed home to tell her mother about it, and about how Ava promised to visit soon. She was in a good mood, so when her mom asked her to go and get Behrad home, Zari didn't even complain before going.

She found him playing cards with some of the usual men he used to hang around with, he wasn't drinking and he wasn't betting money, so there was really nothing out of the ordinary. He asked her to wait until the hand was over and she complied, telling him she would be at the counter when he was done.

He gave her a knowing smile, but said nothing.

Zari huffed at the look but went on her way. At the counter, Amaya was cleaning up while Charlie was serving costumers. Zari took a seat and waited patiently.

“So, what can I get you?”

“I'm just waiting for my brother,” she declined.

Charlie nodded, but didn't move away.

“He's here often. He doesn't got a crush on me, does he?”

Zari rolled her eyes at that. “If he had to chose a Jiwe, I hope he'd have the good sense to pick the better one.”

“Oh, why are you talking to me, Amaya's right over there doing nothing,” she pointed at the other end of the counter.

“_You_ started talking to _me_,” Zari pointed out.

“To ask if you wanted something to drink.”

“And I've told you I don't.”

“We're going round and round this way. Why don't you just admit you like me and we can go from there?”

“Are you crazy?!” Zari whispered angrily. “You wish!”

“So I do,” Charlie smiled. “So I do,” she repeated softly, then waved at someone behind Zari and walked away to attend another costumer.

Behrad touched her shoulder gently, making her turn. So he was the person Charlie was greeting, then.

“Are you ready to head out?”

“Yes, let's go.”

“What happened to your good mood?” He bumped his shoulder into hers playfully, Zari sighed and rolled her eyes.

“Charlie Jiwe happened, what else?”

“Ah,” he acknowledged in a knowing tone. “Well, she seems to care about you, despite you two always bickering.”

“Perhaps,” Zari admitted. “But she is still quite unbearable.”

Behrad laughed, opening the door of the tavern as they exited and headed home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed to introduce a few more characters, but the rythm will pick up from next chapter on, next one is quite focused on Sara/Ava so... hype anyone?


	6. The sowing

It had been a long, tiring day. She had spent her morning showing Roy everything he should and shouldn't do on the job, she had assigned shifts and tasks to everyone, then had proceeded to meet with her Captains to talk about where to assign the men who had been working down at the river, now that the problem there was fixed.

They had rescheduled the works at the elementary school for the whole year, first because they had to prioritize hospitals and other necessary buildings, then because of the incident at the river since they couldn't leave a part of town with no water.

The kids had been going to school in a decrepit building that was barely safe. Ava was sick and tired to have to reschedule it.

“The Queen's want the town square fixed,” Quentin pointed out. “And the Queens are the ones largely giving us money for the repairs.”

“I'm aware,” Ava nodded, deep in thought. “Send a team of five men to start the works on the square, eight hours a day. Just to get started and give the idea we're dealing with the things they want us to deal with. Send the rest of them at the school.”

“And if the Queen's don't like this plan?” Rip asked.

“Well, then, they should take their concerns to me.”

The day went by quickly after that, she was much better at executing a plan than ordering others around to do it, so she helped her men finish their daily tasks at the city boarder, and then decided to head home.

She was surprised, very much so, to see Sara still in her garden when she got back. The sun was still up, but it was starting to get cooler and soon it would be sundown. If she stayed much longer, she would have to head home in the dark.

Ava walked to her, watching what she was doing for a few moments, how she took the seeds, planted them, then covered them with soil.

She crouched down beside her, starting to imitate her movements carefully, precisely, trying not to get anything wrong.

“What are you doing?”

Ava froze. “I'm doing what _you're_ doing, so it will be faster. Am I doing it wrong?”

Sara frowned, looking at Ava's hands as she planted the seeds in the next small hole she had dug up in the line they were following.

“No, you're doing fine. But why?”

“It'll be sundown soon,” Ava said, like it was supposed to explain everything.

“And?”

“You can't walk home in the dark,” Ava scoffed, like it was ridiculous. “It'll be too cold. And too dangerous.”

“What, because I'm a woman?”

“No, guns and swords wound men as well,” Ava said with all the sarcasm she could muster. “This town has never been safe. And now, with the poverty war has left behind-” she sighed. “Desperate people do desperate things, that's all. And if I help you, we'll be done in time so you can make it home with the sun still in the sky.”

Sara frowned and said nothing. She kept watching Ava, as she turned her head down and went back to the seeds.

“You know, we'll only go faster if you work, too. Otherwise I'm slower than you were alone,” Ava tried not to smile, eyes still on the soil, despite her sight being directed downward she was well aware Sara was still looking at her.

The other woman turned quickly, starting up again what she was doing.

“Weren't you working until now? What possesses you to stop working and coming home and wanting to do more work?”

“This isn't work,” Ava argued. “Work is what you have to do. This, I _want_ to do.”

Sara hummed, not fully understanding _why_ she wanted to be doing this, but knowing it would really be far too impolite to ask. Maybe she just wanted Sara gone before dark for a reason she couldn't say.

“You'll get your uniform dirty again, Mrs Tomaz won't like that,” Sara eyed the Colonel's knees, planted in the ground.

“That's quite alright, I usually wash my own uniforms. I asked Gary to bring one to Mrs Tomaz's shop the other day and he was a bit... overzealous. He brought all of them,” she admitted in a whisper.

Sara laughed at that, shaking her head in disbelief. “Why did you ask him to bring one if you wash them yourself?”

“I needed to send him on an errand. I needed to speak with your father and Captain Hunter about a private matter and I didn't want him to feel excluded from the secrecy,” she admitted sheepishly, eyes fixed on the seeds.

They were sliding towards the end of the line quickly. Sara got up as Ava filled up the last few holes, to change the seeds they were using.

“You really do like unnecessary work. You wash your own clothes, you help your men at work, you're helping me with this, and Miss Wu says you cook more often than she does, because she always burns everything.”

Ava tried not to laugh at that, but failed miserably.

“She's still learning. She'll get the hang of the kitchen in the blink of an eye, I'm sure. And I don't mind washing clothes, I made Mrs Tomaz teach me when I was young because Zari couldn't come play with me until she was done helping her mother, so I forced her to let me help. She couldn't really say no to me, even if it _was_ terribly improper of me to even ask.”

“Charming,” Sara whispered. “Well, Mona won't be able to burn these, if they ever grow.”

“What are these?” Ava asked, realizing she knew nothing about seeds.

“That row was salad, but the one behind is peas. This one we're doing now is cauliflower. Same for the three rows ahead, those are already done. Took me all day, couldn't work when the sun was at its highest.”

“I hope you know you're welcome to go inside whenever it's too hot or too cold or if it starts raining, or anything else, of course.”

“Thank you, but I had Gary give me a tour of the stable instead. Your horse is really nice.”

“Her name's Waverider. I called her that because she's the only horse I've ever seen that likes the water so much. She especially likes the bay.”

Sara noticed immediately how Ava's eyes lit up when talking about the horse.

“You take her often?”

“Not as often as I'd like, but some Sundays we go. Maybe we-” she stopped herself dead in her tracks, her smile vanished and her expression turned somber. “I'm sorry, it was terribly impolite of me to ask that, we don't know each other that well. We shouldn't go on trips together.”

“You didn't actually ask anything, did you?” Sara smiled reassuringly. “And I do like to dare, so if you had been so bold to ask, I'd have said yes. Just so you know, if, once you deem it's not impolite to ask anymore, you decide to ask again.”

Ava smiled, eyes still fixed down on the soil, trying not to seem to pleased with the answer Sara had given her.

“Here, all done,” Sara got up, taking one of the watering cans she had placed nearby and starting to water the other rows one by one.

Ava rose up, shaking dirt from her hands and then rubbing it off the knees of her pants, only looking at Sara once she was done. She grabbed one of the other watering cans and proceeded to help, just so she had something to do.

“You really can't stay still, can you?”

Ava frowned, then shrugged. “Maybe I _do_ like work.”

They finished watering in silence, putting back the tools Sara had used during the day into the nearby shed.

“It's already sundown, I should perhaps walk you home.”

“You're very kind to offer, but I'll be alright.”

Ava wanted to argue, to walk with her, but she knew she had no right to insist. As she was dwelling on what to do, she saw Sara waving at someone behind Ava's back.

“I thought it would take more time, since I was doing it alone, and I anticipated finishing in the dark, so I sent Mr Green to get my father. He would hate it if I walked home alone at this time, and I'm not completely reckless like you seem to think I am,” Sara teased her.

Ava let out a breath she didn't know she was holding when she saw Quentin approaching them beside Gary.

“Well, I'll have to reconsider my first impression of you, then, won't I?”

They smiled at each other, wishing the other goodnight and then parting ways once Quentin was close enough.

Ava didn't really understand why, but she found herself hoping those plants would need to be tended to frequently, so that Sara would be back again often.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up is some introspection on Sara's part and a little angsty note to get us into the right setting or the story! Also, some of the things mentioned will seem pretty random at first, but there is an actual plot ahead, so let me know what you think so far!


	7. The sword

It was still early, but not as early as when she left the house the mornings before to head to the Sharpe’s property. She was going to head there in the afternoon, having already planted the seeds, but was still planning to use her morning to head down to the market and pick up a few things she forwent the days before and now knew she needed.

By leaving later, she was also sure she wouldn’t run into Miss Sharpe again, having seen her two days in a row. It wasn’t that Sara was trying to avoid her per se, it was just that seeing her was stirring in her a weird feeling she wasn’t used to experience quite as strongly. Guilt.

She had perhaps misjudged Miss Sharpe, deeming her not fit to be with Laurel. But Ava had been only so kind to her, whilst she knew first hand Oliver hadn’t always been fair to her sister. He wasn’t a bad man, but he was far from perfect.

The thing that worried her was not knowing Ava as well as she knew Oliver; she thought Oliver’s flaws were manageable, tolerable even. Whilst not knowing Ava unnerved her, so much so that she was starting to wish she knew her better. But wasn’t that what was asked of Laurel? Not that they married at once, but that they got to know each other properly. And Sara had been the one to put a wrench in those plans, demanding Oliver proposed immediately. But now that she was the one getting to know Ava, the one enjoying her kindness and company, she thought it unfair to have denied Laurel the same chance.

It came to the point where she didn’t know if her annoyance toward the Colonel was due to their very first meeting in their younger years, if it was due to what she had overheard Major Heywood say, or if she was finding annoyance easier to deal with than guilt. Whichever it may be, the cure was the same in her mind: avoidance, of Ava herself as well as her own feelings.

This was the reason she was trying to keep as busy as possible and not give the current predicament too much thought.

She did wonder, insistently so, whether Ava had picked someone else as a possible suitor. That too was a thought she didn’t like to dwell in, for some reason.

So preoccupied with her own thoughts, she had barely noticed two men following her down the path to the market, in the road coming from the far East of town, very little travelled by especially that time of day. Uneasiness settled in her chest when she noticed how the men were smiling and nodding and talking in hushed whispers looking at her not so covertly. Sara was ready to confront them and get rid of them: she would be able to outrun them anyway if things got dire.

She stopped, pretending to look for something in her satchel, then waited for the two men to pass her by. They did so, but then stopped, turning to her. Now Sara had only the option to run back, up the hill. It wasn’t ideal.

“Go on, what are you staring at?”

The men smiled at that. “Such a pretty girl like you, walking all alone, perhaps you’d like someone to walk with you,” one of them told her.

“Why don’t you step closer so I can break your nose and you’ll see what a pretty girl like me can do?” Sara felt furious.

The men’s smiles vanished and their expressions turned somber, they muttered something to each other and then hurried away. Well, that was easy, gone with just a threat?

As she glanced behind herself, she realized her threat probably did nothing at all.

“Miss Sharpe.”

Ava was standing a few feet behind, her right hand clutching her sword, already halfway out of its sheath. As the men retreated and she saw Sara had turned to her, she pushed it back and moved it aside, letting it hang from the left of her belt.

“Miss Lance.”

“They were unarmed.”

“As far as you could see. And obviously I wouldn’t have stricken first, Miss Lance. I was simply looking to scare them away.”

“I don’t need your protection, _Colonel_,” Sara said the word harshly. “I can manage just fine myself.”

“I don’t doubt you could, I was merely trying to speed things along,” her lips were pushed together and Sara wasn’t entirely sure she believed her.

“There was no need.”

Ava pushed her lips tighter together and nodded sharply.

“What are you doing following me anyway?”

“What?! I wasn’t-“

“You’re awfully far from the river or the boarder post, Colonel. And it’s quite late for you to be leaving your house now. And, while the men you chased away were unarmed, I cannot say the same for you, and you seem to have no qualms about using your sword,” Sara knew she was overstepping. But for some reason, the woman always seemed to unnerve her.

“I’m heading to the elementary school near Main Street. We’re starting our works there today. Not that you thought to ask,” she added after Sara seemed to regret her accusations, “but I’m late because I stopped at your father’s post to make sure he isn’t overworking himself like last summer.”

Ava walked right past her with long strides, only to stop ahead and turn back for a moment. She was about to say something, but then thought better if it, shook her head and kept on walking away.

Sara was left wondering what on Earth possessed her to make such unprompted allegations to a woman who had been nothing but kind to her family. Was she really just looking for a reason to distrust Ava out of guilt? At this point, she honestly wasn’t sure anymore.

  
  


Sara only headed to the Sharpe's property when the sun was starting its downward curve, knowing not to water the plants when the sun was still too strong. Even thought it was already October and the sun wasn't as strong, she perhaps hoped she would run into Ava as she made her way back home.

She hadn't been able to shake the feeling the whole day that she had to apologize for her childish behaviour, which wouldn't usually come easily for her.

After watering the plants and taking a tour of the front and backyard to check the fruit trees there, she noted there were many apples and pears ready to be reaped. Making a mental note to do so the next day, she made her way back to the front of the house just when the sun was starting to fade on the horizon, her father already there waiting for her.

A pang of guilt spread in her chest at the thought of Ava's words that morning: her father had had an episode during the summer, the pains in his chest made it impossible for him to work for days. He had seemed to have completely healed by mid August and he had been back to work ever since September begun, but apparently Ava had been keeping an eye on him ever since.

She was grateful for it, of course. But it made her feel even worse for the way she had spoken to Ava before.

Sara, by then, had resigned herself to the fact she wouldn't get the chance to apologize to her that day, as she walked to her father, who asked her if she was ready to head home.

It was just as they were about to head off, that they caught sight of Ava walking toward the house, lost in her own thoughts. She seemed to startle a little when she caught sight of them walking in the opposite direction.

“Captain Lance, Miss Lance.”

“Colonel, you're returning awfully late,” Quentin noted.

“Some troubles with the machinery, we had to move everything to the school to start the repairs and one of the carts broke. I handled the repairs but my mind must've been elsewhere because I-” she sighed, raising her bandaged left hand. “It was just a little blood, really, but you know how Rip is, wouldn't let me leave until Dr Snow bandaged it properly.”

Sara gasped, reaching for her hand. “Let me see that. Was it cleaned dutifully?”

The moment Sara's hands touched her own, Ava retracted it like it had been burned.

“Yes, Dr Snow is exceptionally competent. Apologies, it still hurts,” she justified her brusque action. “And my apologies for this morning as well, I really didn't mean to frighten you.”

“You haven't,” Sara whispered, baffled by the apology. “No, I'm the one who needs to properly apologize to you, I should have never implied what I did. Thank you for looking out for me.”

Ava looked at her for a long moment, then nodded. “I do tend to be overprotective. Speaking of, Captain we agreed no more than three hours on your feet. I've heard you endured five, not counting this stroll you're taking now.”

“If you can convince him I can survive the walk home myself-” Sara tried, turning to her father.

“Not if it's dark,” he shook his head. “You know my thoughts on the matter.”

“Perhaps we could ask Gary to- Mr Green to walk her back?” Ava offered.

“I don't know the lad that well,” Quentin snorted. “Not that I don't trust him, but I don't know if he'd be fit to fend off ill intentioned men.”

“Colonel Sharpe is,” Sara cut in. “She could walk me home, perhaps?”

She had no idea what had possessed her to ask for that, especially after how she behaved in the morning, but she couldn't retract now unless she wanted to make things even worse. She had to insist and insert an apology inside the request at the best of her abilities.

“She's quite brave, too. She proved so this morning, even if I was too stubborn to admit her stepping in was appreciated.”

Ava recognized the apology for what it was. She hesitated, but nodded.

“Yes, as I offered yesterday I would be glad to walk you home and know you made it safely there, and I would also be glad to know my Captain isn't exerting himself, so this works for me.”

Quentin agreed, then they said their goodbyes and parted ways. The following few minutes of their walk were silent. Then the question Sara was fearing finally came.

“What have you said to her exactly?”

She sighed. “Two men were following me and she scared them off, unsheathing her sword. I implied she was the only armed person, therefore if anything I should be suspicious of her following me, since she was late to work and far from the river. She explained she had come to see you and was heading to the school. I felt like a complete fool.”

“Oh, Sara,” Quentin sighed. “I do not understand why you dislike her so strongly, going as far as to pretend you didn't know she was a Colonel! What did she do or say to make you deem her so untrustworthy?”

Sara considered, for a moment, admitting to her father she and Ava had met once, many years before, but it didn't seem wise to mention that as the reason Sara disliked her.

“Something Major Heywood said about her, when he came to tell you she was being sent back home. That it was a pity the war was ending, because she would have thrived in it. What kind of person _thrives_ in a war, dad?”

He pushed his lips together, then scratched his beard.

“She helped with the amnesty, did you know? Wrote a part of it herself, that's why she went from Major to Colonel. She's a good negotiator, she knows what to prioritize and she's good at planning and managing various operations, from battlefield plans to rebuilding structures. I agree that she would have thrived in war.”

For a moment, Sara's heart fell to her stomach.

“He meant, as I do, that Ava has an eye for making difficult decisions. The people she could've saved if she had been a few years older...” he sighed at the grim thought. “You remember when the bridge outside town blew up? She was the one who came up with the idea to post a guard outside it, even if it meant widening the city boarder and the army post. If she had been in charge instead of Merlyn back then, those people would still be alive. This is what Hank meant, Sara. She would have saved many people, but of course we're all glad there is no saving from war to be done anymore, he was joking about that.”

“I didn't know,” was the only thing Sara could bring herself to say after long moments of silence as they kept walking.

Quentin sighed, glancing at Sara.

“I don't know why she accepts your rudeness. She has scolded men for far less. Why is she indulging on such soft manners around you, I don't understand.”

Sara didn't think of Ava's manners as soft, but her father knew her and knew her well, so if he said she was softer around Sara, she had no reason not to believe him.

“The same reason she was willing to meet Laurel even if she would only like to agree to marry for love. Because of you, I'm sure. Because of how fond of you she is.”

Quentin shook his head, but didn't say anything else. He knew Ava wasn't like that with Rip's wife or son, no, this had something to do specifically with one of his daughters. Which one, he still wasn't positive he knew for sure.


	8. The buckets

Sara headed to the Sharpe's property as soon as she was done with lunch. She wanted to pick the bulk of the fruit that day and then water the seeds when the sun started descending.

She picked two full buckets of apples, starting from the trees standing below the house's shadow and then moving to the others as the temperatures lowered. She washed them carefully, putting them in a basket to get inside Ava's home, then prepared a third bucket of ones that weren't fit to be eaten. She did this for every tree, until the basket for Ava and two buckets to bring home with her were filled up to their capacity.

Ava returned home just as Sara was finishing up watering the seeds, it didn't take long at all, the time consuming part was just refilling the watering can ever so often. But in just a few trips she was done: she hadn't planted many seeds to start with, but she was planning on growing more come spring, especially flowers.

When she looked up from the last line she saw Ava standing there, waiting for her patiently a few feet away.

“Are you going to keep standing there?”

Ava looked taken aback, and she opened her mouth, no doubt with an apology on her lips, when Sara smiled at her, raising an eyebrow.

“You can come closer, I promise I won't be mean and unfair today.”

Ava relaxed at that, smiling back. She walked over to Sara and helped putting back the tools she used in the shed. Sara picked up the bucket with the apples she had put aside.

“These can't be eaten. But I thought maybe you would want Waverider to have them?”

Ava's smile was brilliant. “Oh, she loves apples. Come on, we can feed them to her,” she started walking to the stable, Sara following suit.

Sara watched as Ava gently petted Waverider, speaking to her in soft tones and calm words. Ava beckoned her closer, encouraging her to do the same. Sara was a bit taken aback, but complied with the request, and soon found herself enamoured with the horse. She was light, but not white, a deep and rare grey she had never seen on a horse before.

Ava fed her one of the apples, happy when she seemed to like it. She gave her another one, then asked Sara to leave the bucket on the side, since Gary had probably already fed her more than enough during the day.

“We can feed her again tomorrow, if you're by.”

Sara nodded, then headed outside. It was starting to get dark, so Ava asked her to wait for a moment as she picked up a lantern she had inside the house.

“Does Miss Wu know how to bandage your hand?”

Ava frowned. “Excuse me?”

“When you were feeding Waverider I saw the medication is dirty and ruined, you need to redo it. And you can't do it on your own since it's on your hand. If Mona doesn't know how to, I could help you with that before we head back.”

Ava's cheeks turned a little red at the offer, but she eventually nodded her consent, inviting Sara inside.

“I will grab some antiseptic and some bandages, I'll be quick. Here on the left is the corridor to the dining room and kitchen, on the right there's a living room and the other door is a study. The guest bathroom is down the hall. Just in case you ever need to come inside, now you know where everything is,” she explained.

Sara looked on as Ava went up the stairs, not daring to enter one of the rooms. She knew Ava's family was well off, whilst her own came from a lower class, but with her family in the military they had become accustomed to certain nicer things. Still, Ava's home wasn't like anything she had ever seen outside the Queen's mansion and Nate's home.

Ava found her exactly where she left her, patiently waiting for her to get back.

“I'm sorry, how rude of me. Let us go into the living room,” she invited, opening the door for Sara and following her inside.

They sat on one of the couches, Sara carefully took off Ava's old bandages and she let Ava do the disinfecting herself. She barely flinched when the antiseptic came into contact with her skin, then she extended her hand, waiting for Sara to do the bandaging.

She tried not to notice how gentle and careful Sara was, but it was impossible not to. She put a care in her touch Ava relished in, looking between the movements of Sara's hands and her face. They were standing rather close, so much so that she could see the endearing freckles on Sara's cheeks and nose. Before she had even time formulate a proper thought, Sara leaned back, admiring her own work, then finally letting Ava's hand go gently.

Once they were done Ava threw the old one away and brought the rest back up, then fetched her lantern and held the door open for Sara as they exited the house again.

“Could you hold this for a moment?” Ava asked, handing her the lantern.

Sara took it and Ava carefully lit it up, since it was already dusk. Then, instead of taking it back, she opted to pick up the two buckets of apples Sara had left by the door.

“No, I should carry those.”

“You can carry the basket, it looks lighter.”

“And why should I carry the lighter one?”

“Because I lift stuff for a job, Miss Lance,” Ava pointed out, not budging on the matter. “Consider it my apology for how I behaved yesterday if nothing else, please. I shouldn't have intruded and I regret scaring you, greatly.”

“You didn't scare me,” Sara whispered softly, wishing Ava knew she meant that. “You never scared me,” she got lost for a moment, in another conversation they had almost a decade before. She shook herself, trying to get back to the present.

“Besides, I cannot carry the basket.”

Ava frowned at that, glancing down at it. It seemed pretty manageable to her.

“Well, why not?”

“Because then you'd have to carry it back, since it's for you.”

“But we agreed you would keep the fruits.”

“Well, not _all_ of it! It's your apples. I was actually going to leave the rest, the ones I'm picking tomorrow, here for you. Half of everything, roughly.”

“That wasn't the deal.”

“It is now. Your trees, my work, it seems fair.”

Ava frowned. “It doesn't to me. You worked, you should get more than half. I will accept the basket, we can see how much more apples there are and then come to an agreement, perhaps?”

“Deal,” Sara smiled. “Now, about you carrying both buckets-”

“Oh, no, Miss Lance. I'm afraid this isn't negotiable,” Ava started to walk, smiling only after she had turned, so that Sara wouldn't see.

  
  


Once they reached the Lance's house, Ava was expecting Sara to ask her to leave the buckets beside the door and go, but she gestured for Ava to follow her inside. Ava wasn't sure it would be polite to accept, but Sara kept walking without waiting for an answer, so Ava was left with the only option to follow her inside.

They entered the dining room, where Quentin was sitting, then headed for the kitchen after Ava had merely the time to greet him in passing, as she was trying to keep up with Sara. Ava turned as red as one of the apples she was carrying, Quentin following them as soon as he realized Ava was carrying around stuff for her daughter. Dinah and Laurel were cooking, but stopped when they saw Sara wasn't alone.

“You can put the baskets there.”

Ava nodded and did as she was told.

She turned back only to see the whole Lance family looking at her. Her blush intensified.

“Mrs Lance, Miss Lance, it is such a pleasure to see you again. I am so deeply sorry to intrude, I thought it best I carried these, since they're quite heavy. If I knew we would be heading inside I would have warned, somehow.”

“Nonsense, you're welcome here anytime,” Quentin smiled at her, then turned to Sara, smile immediately faltering. “You had the Colonel bring about your buckets?!”

“She wouldn't let me carry them myself,” Sara defended herself.

“True, I insisted.”

Quentin sighed, giving Sara a look that meant this wasn't over, not by a long shot.

“Colonel, did you walk my daughter home?” Dinah interrupted the stares between her daughter and her husband. “I wasn't aware such plans had been made.”

Ava grasped the hem of her jacket, her fingers slipping between one edge and the other and disappearing from view as her thumb played with one of the buttons. Sara had seen her do it before, when she had been nervous. It was charming, in its simplicity, how Ava held onto her uniform as some sort of comfort gesture.

“I asked Captain Lance to, I do not want him to overwork himself, not after this summer,” she explained, not quite understanding herself why the question had made her somewhat nervous.

“You asked my husband permission to walk my daughter home?”

Ava knew her tone meant something, but she wasn't quite sure what exactly. She knew the answer to the question, but she couldn't quite bring herself to answer it.

“I do apologize if I overstepped,” she said instead.

“I asked him, dad should not make the walk after a work's day and Mr Green – the Colonel's groom – isn't quite as trained as her. She offered and I accepted, and then asked dad if she could walk me. It is really just a matter of convenience,” Sara explained.

“Yes,” Ava agreed. “Convenience,” the lie sounded hollow even to her own ears. Whichever the reason was that had prompted her to offer to walk Sara home, she wasn't sure what it was but it was most definitely not convenience. Especially not now that she was walking from the school: she had to get back home, on the East side, then walk Sara back closer to Main Street, then head East again. It was anything but convenient, really.

Dinah hummed, smiling politely.

“Have you had dinner?”

“Not yet.”

“Then you should stay, of course. As a thank you for having walked Sara home,” she offered.

Ava almost accepted the offer; she was starving and the thought of walking back home and cooking wasn't thrilling at all. But she was awkward in social situations even when the circumstances weren't so odd.

A few days prior, she was supposed to meet Laurel in the future hypothesis of courting, and now she was walking Sara home instead. And she had been working with Quentin for years, they knew each other quite well, so she wouldn't be able to lie her way out of a questioning she was sure was coming from Mrs Lance.

“Thank you for your very kind offer, but I couldn't impose.” Before Mrs Lance had the time to reiterate her offer, Ava quickly added: “Have a pleasant evening, I will see you tomorrow Captain. Mrs Lance, Miss Lance,” she nodded to Laurel, then turned to Sara. “Miss Lance.”

“I should walk you out,” Sara offered. “Here,” she handed Ava her own lantern, than made her way back to the front door. “Thank you. For walking me, for carrying the buckets.”

“No bother in the least. Goodbye, Miss Lance, until tomorrow.”

Sara stood there for a few moments, watching as Ava made her way down the narrow path that went from the house back to the street, wondering, not for the first time, why her heart was picking up its rate at random times these days. Maybe she was falling hill.

“Until tomorrow,” she whispered softly to no one but herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, I've been kinda busy irl but here it is! Things progress some more but the slow burn tag isn't there for nothing so... have patience! :D
> 
> Hope you enjoyed :)


	9. The halters

Sara had decided she wanted to give Miss Sharpe something in return for letting her tend to the garden like she wished. She had been happier in the last few days, carefree as she hadn't felt in quite a while.

That could also depend from the fact that she wasn't lying about where she was or whom she was with to her parents or Laurel, but it could also be from being outdoors, without her mother constantly bothering her.

It wasn't possible that this would last forever, or even for however long she wished it could, because the colder weather was fast approaching and Sara knew soon it would be hard to be outside long enough to tend to the garden. She had set her heart about growing the plants she had already planted, but they wouldn't need much care; that was one of the reason why she chose them. On rainy days, she wouldn't have to water them. And she just had to make sure to pick them up before they were ruined by the wether.

She stopped by the library, having noted how the Colonel's living room seemed to be quite rich in books.

Without wasting time looking for something she knew she wouldn't be able to pick without doubt consuming her, she headed for Zari.

“Good morning,” she greeted, catching her attention.

Zari greeted her back, smiling. “What brings you here? And so early!”

“You know Miss Sharpe quite well, and you know her house, don't you?”

“Are you planning a robbery?”

“Certainly not!”

“Then yes, I do.”

“Good. Would you happen to have any advice for a book she might like to add to her collection? I'm sure I would pick something she has already or wouldn't enjoy, you know her tastes so much better than I do.”

Zari hummed, thinking for a moment.

“Why are you buying a book for her?”

“As a thank you for letting me use her yard as a garden. I've wanted to do something like this for so long! It has made me quite joyful.”

“It certainly seems so,” Zari agreed. “She doesn't have much time to read, she works too much. It is probably why she hasn't tended to the garden herself, or had yet to pick the apples this year.”

“This year?”

“Yes, she did it last year, after she came back from the front. But she works long hours now, I saw her trees were still quite full the other day.”

Sara felt her heart sink. She closed her eyes, a grimace appearing on her face.

“What? Did I say something wrong?”

“I picked the apples.”

“So?”

“I thought she wouldn't, some had gone bad already, I had to leave them for Waverider. So I picked them for her and left only a few for her, I took the majority to my family.”

“I'm sure she doesn't mind, Sara. She mostly gives them to Waverider, brings a few to us and the Jiwe's. She couldn't eat that many, could she?”

“I suppose,” Sara conceded, but her expression was still contrite. “If not a book what can I get her as an apology?”

Zari smiled brightly at that. “Something for the horse. You cannot possibly go wrong if you gift Ava something for the horse.”

“Her name's Waverider, Zari.”

“Yeah, but it's quite silly. Oh, if you plan on seeing her today, could I give you a letter for her? Or perhaps, without making me write it, you could extend her an invitation yourself.”

“An invitation?”

“To our Saturday dinner. It is at the tavern this week.”

“Yes, I can do that. I must go now, but thank you so much for your help.”

Without waiting for Zari to add anything else, Sara hurried to the closest shop she knew that sold horses gear.

  
  


Sara had been nervous all day. She had changed her mind about what she was going to say to Ava a hundred times already, but she knew she had to make up her mind quickly. She had watered the plants and picked the rest of the apples by the time the sky was starting to change colour, but it wasn't getting dark yet.

Ava was coming home earlier than the previous days, the works at the school finally started and were proceeding well without incidents so far, so she felt free to head back a little earlier. To her surprise, Sara was waiting for her, sat on the steps outside her front door.

“Done already?”

Sara almost startled upon hearing her voice. She got up quickly from her sitting stance, so that she was facing Ava as she reached her.

She had dwelled so much about what she should say and how, where to start and how to end, but now nothing at all came to mind. She didn't know why it made her so nervous, that Ava let her believe she could pick the apples. Sara should feel furious, really, but instead she only felt guilty for not asking before doing so.

“I didn't know you picked the fruits yourself.”

Ava frowned at that. “What?”

“Zari said you picked them last year. To give to them, and to the Jiwe's, since they don't have a yard. I didn't know.”

Ava smiled at her nervousness. “I wouldn't have had the time this year. I'm quite happy you took them, I would have left them to rot, it would have been an utter shame. You saved them, really, from an awful fate,” she joked.

Sara sighed in relief, of what she wasn't sure since Ava hadn't been mad the day before.

“Well, I picked two more buckets today and I would appreciate it if you could bring one to the Jiwe's and one to the Tomaz's when you head into town for work tomorrow. If it isn't too much of a bother, that is.”

Ava glanced at the buckets, full to the brim with big apples in perfect state.

“That is very kind of you, thank you. I shall.”

Sara bowed her head a little. “I left some for Waverider. I put them with the ones from yesterday.”

“Where did you find other buckets? I thought I only had three,” Ava asked as an afterthought, eyes still on the apples.

“Well, of course I returned them today! I'm not that rude, Miss Sharpe, I managed to bring them back empty perfectly fine, even if I do not lift weights for a job,” Sara teased her.

Ava smiled at that, nodding. “Are you ready to head home?”

“Yes. And you can rest, there's still light outside,” Sara smiled.

“Oh,” Ava looked around as if she had barely realized it wasn't dusk yet. “I suppose you're right, yes.”

Sara smiled politely, starting to walk away, but turning back after only a couple of steps. She saw Ava averting her eyes and her cheeks turned slightly pinker. Was she watching as Sara walked away?

“Least I forget, Zari has asked me to invite you to our dinner on Saturday, at the tavern. She and Behrad will be there, Nathaniel as well, and of course the Jiwe's. Laurel and some of her friends, too, the Queen's probably and maybe Thomas Merlyn.”

“Zari invites me often.”

“I know, she tells us she'll get you to come eventually. She often brags about her friend, the Colonel. I didn't know you grew up together, or how close you were. I admit I did think she was exaggerating the extent of your friendship on the account that you never came although often invited.”

“Yes, it was very impolite of me. She's like a sister, to me. Similarly, Nathaniel is like a brother. Both have invited me one time or the other, but I thought it to be out of courtesy.”

“Zari doesn't do anything out of courtesy,” Sara pointed out.

Ava laughed softly, then nodded. “Very well. As I promised Zari on Tuesday, I shall make an appearance at this dinner.”

Sara smiled, content with the answer, than started walking again.

“Miss Lance?” Ava's voice made her turn again. “If Zari had mentioned me, why did you think it was an older man coming to ask permission to court your sister?”

Sara ducked her head, trying to hide her smile. She turned again without answering the question and resumed walking.

“Until tomorrow, _Colonel Sharpe_!”

Ava sighed, understanding the reasoning behind Sara Lance's behaviour less and less each time she met her. “Yes. Until tomorrow.”

She watched for a few moments as Sara walked away, then headed to the stable to see if Waverider wanted some apples. As she entered, she immediately noticed something different with the horse, the deep blue colour of the halters catching her eye. They were softer, definitely better than the old ones, which were consumed and in dire need of being replaced. She noticed the padding that made them more comfortable for Waverider to wear, they looked like a recent model. They were simply beautiful.

After feeding her a couple of fruits, she headed inside, catching sight of Gary in the living room, reordering the books.

“Gary, did you change Waverider's halters?”

“Oh, they're quite beautiful, aren't they? I helped Miss Lance change them, she wasn't quite sure how, but Mr Tomaz has taught me.”

Ava frowned. “Miss Lance asked you to change them?”

“Well, she only asked if I knew how and if I could explain it to her, but I offered. She bought them as a thank you present, she said. For letting her tend to the garden, I assume.”

Ava didn't know why, but the fact that Sara had gotten Waverider new halters the same colour as her uniform jacket made her joyful. It was such a thoughtful gesture, she had to make sure to thank Sara properly when she saw her the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the lateness, from now on the updates will be regular again, next one on Thursday! If you feel so inclined, I'd love to know your thoughts!


	10. The delivery

Ava headed to town the next morning with the apples, stopping by Mrs Tomaz's shop first, knowing she would already be there to prepare everything before they opened.

She knocked on the door and then waited by the door until Behrad opened it for her. He smiled, beckoning her in, as Nasreen peeked out from the back room.

“Oh, my child!” Mrs Tomaz stepped into view as soon as she saw Ava, walking around the counter and heading to her. She took Ava's face in her hands, looking into her eyes carefully. “Are you eating enough?”

“I am.”

“And getting enough sleep?”

“Yes,” Ava smiled. “I am.” She bowed her head, kissing Nasreen's cheek gently. “I do apologize, I haven't been by in almost a fortnight, things at the river were madness, and then moving everything to the school was even worse. How are you?”

“Old,” she told Ava, letting go of her face once she was satisfied with her scrutinization. “And getting older.”

“That is usually how it goes, mom,” Behrad reminded her.

“Why are you carrying buckets to the school?” Mrs Tomaz asked when she saw Ava's hands were full.

“Oh, these, yes,” she handed the one in her left hand to Behrad, who took it but looked confused it was being given to him. “Miss Lance picked them and asked me to bring one to you and one to the Jiwe's, since last year I did the same.”

Nasreen raised an eyebrow. “Miss Lance is picking your apples now, is she?”

Ava went bright red, without knowing why.

“I thought her hand had been asked by Mr Queen,” Behrad wondered out loud.

“Laurel's has,” Ava nodded. “Sara is the one who sends the apples. And nothing improper is going on, before you ask. She likes to keep busy, and my garden is going untended.”

“Have you gone mad? I leave you alone for five minutes!” Nasreen scolded her. “And you start entertaining the company of Sara Lance?!”

“What is wrong with Sara Lance's company?”

“Nothing,” Behrad quickly said, eyeing his mother warningly.

Ava couldn't miss the look even if she tried, which she didn't, instad watching both of them with rapt attention, trying to understand what was going on.

“Yes, nothing,” Mrs Tomaz confirmed innocently. “In fact, I've heard rumours Mr Queen was quite fond of it himself.”

Ava was baffled by the notion. “Her sister's fiancé? I don't believe it.”

“So they say. Nobody knows for sure how far it went, but something happened behind poor Laurel's back.”

“Mom, you're the only one gossiping about this. She thinks she saw them one day, when she was bringing some laundry the the Queen's. But she doesn't know what she saw, she can't even see ten feet ahead of herself, with her bad eyesight.”

“They were too close. And bad eyesight or not, a blind man could have seen what was happening between them. I think maybe she even kissed him, or worse!”

Ava frowned, not liking what she was hearing at all. It stirred something inside of her she elected not to explore further.

“I'm sorry to say, I think Behrad might be right,” Ava teased him. “Miss Lance loves her sister dearly, it's the only sure thing I know about her, she would never entertain the company of Mr Queen, not in an improper way.”

“Let this go, mom. You like talking too much, nothing ever happens in Starling but that doesn't mean you have to make it up yourself.”

Nasreen sighed, then shook her head. “Fine, then. Believe what you will, but I know what I saw,” she finished her point, then went on to ask about Ava's work and her horse and her new staff. The topic moved on rather quickly from then on, but what Mrs Tomaz said kept playing constantly in the back of her mind.

  
  


Ava walked into the tavern with her mind preoccupied by thoughts she would rather leave behind. Amaya greeted her with a smile, Ava smiled back and explained the reason for her visit, handing her the apples.

Amaya asked if she was okay, noticing Ava's hollow smile. She nodded, asking the same of her and if she needed anything. When Amaya shook her head, she asked if she had any problems with the Harper boy, but Amaya shook her head once more.

“Are you absolutely positive you're feeling alright?”

“Yes,” Ava nodded, unconvincingly. “Although, hypothetically...”

“Now we're getting somewhere,” Amaya patted one of the stools, sitting down herself and waiting for Ava to do the same.

“If you fancied someone, but you couldn't court them because... because someone you loved fancied them as well,” she tried to explain without using any names. “Wouldn't you encourage that someone you love to pursue someone else, so that you could be with the one you fancied?”

Amaya frowned a little, slightly confused, but she thought about it and figured out what Ava was trying to ask.

“Yes, I suppose so.”

“Right,” Ava nodded to herself. “So if you didn't encourage your... friend, to pursue someone else, chances are you don't actually fancy that same person.”

“Seems a fair conclusion, yes.”

“Right. I'm sorry, something Mrs Tomaz said wasn't sitting properly with me. I should head to work, if you need anything at all please let me know.”

“Thank you, for the apples. And thank Sara on our behalf as well.”

“I shall.”

  
  


She knew she had been acting a bit odd, but some lasting doubt was still making her thoughts wander and she was finding it difficult to have a proper conversation with Sara without thinking about what Mrs Tomaz had said to her that morning.

“You're awfully quiet.”

“Apologies, it was a long day at work,” Ava lied.

The kept walking for a few more moments in silence, then Ava thought of something safe to say to make sure the conversation didn't venture into unwelcome territory.

“Thank you, for the halters. They are immensely beautiful and the colour matches my uniform. You shouldn't have.”

“I wanted to. And I know, I picked them mostly because of the colour. I do not know enough about horses or halters to have _possibly_ made the decision any other reasonable way.”

Ava laughed a little at that, letting the silence fall upon them once again. It didn't feel as uncomfortable this time.

“Did you bring the apples to the Tomaz's and the Jiwe's?”

“I did, first thing in the morning. They both thank you deeply.”

“Now, Amaya thanking me, that I believe. But Mrs Tomaz can barely stand me, I don't reckon those were her exact words, were they? Because if so, she might've been seriously hill!”

Ava chuckled, then tried to stop herself. “Mrs Tomaz is incredibly polite. Even if she wasn't fond of you, which I'm not saying is true, she would send her thank you's either way.”

“Yes, that explains it, then. It was undoubtedly the proper thing to do.”

They kept walking, but something was nagging at Ava's mind again.

“Why do you suppose she doesn't like you?”

Sara's shrugged a little. “She never seemed to like me, even before me and Zari were friends, when I used to spend more time with Ollie-”

Sara realized what had slipped past her lips just a moment too late.

“Ollie?”

“Mr Queen. When I used to spend more time with him, she came around quite often. I think you were still at the front and she was picking up extra jobs until the shop started properly earning them money. She has always been disapproving of me.”

Ava thought for a long moment about the fact that Sara hadn't said Mr Queen, or even Oliver. She had called him Ollie. Nasrneen would have deemed it disrespectful, even if it was in fact completely innocent. And Ava was starting to doubt it was.

“This is where we part,” Ava came to a stop a few feet away from the Lance's door.

“A brief parting. I'll be seeing you tomorrow, at the dinner?”

“Yes,” Ava confirmed. “Until tomorrow, Miss Lance.”

She didn't smile as sincerely as she did the previous nights when she turned around and started to head back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, new chapter! Let me know what you thought, and next one will probably be up on Sunday!


	11. The dinner

Ava had no idea what was proper to wear at a dinner like the one she was attending. All the dinners she had been invited to were formal, and she always went in her uniform. She wouldn't deem that appropriate for a dinner like the one she was attending that evening.

She spent a fair amount of time trying to discern what to wear, finally settling on a white button down, black pants and a black jacket with silver ornaments. For the first time in a very long time, she left the house with her hair down.

Walking down the East road that led to town, Ava was left alone with her thoughts for the first time the whole day, having spent the morning teaching Gary some of the tasks he was meant to learn and her afternoon catching up on her readings. But now, nothing was keeping her mind occupied, leaving her thoughts to wander back to the day before and what Mrs Tomaz had said about Mr Queen's indiscretions and about her reasoning for why Sara couldn't have feelings for him: she would have encouraged Laurel to marry Ava, but instead she had seemed quite indifferent to the matter when Ava had been over to introduce herself.

She was so preoccupied with these thoughts, that she would have barely realized she was already passing by the Lance's property, if not for the woman pacing at the end of the path coming from the house.

“Miss Lance?”

“Colonel Sharpe!”

Ava came to a stop, observing Sara's lovely dress and wondering how it hadn't even crossed her mind to wear one herself.

“You hair is down,” Sara noticed, staring at the soft curves of it for a long moment, imagining how silky it would be to the touch, how soft.

“Was it a bad choice?”

“No, it fits you. I hope this does not sound odd, I knew you would be passing by to head to the dinner and I'd hoped we could go together.”

Ava nodded, immediately, feeling like a fool for not thinking of it herself, knowing Sara should not have had to make the walk alone, because of how easily bored the girl got, and prone to get into trouble when she was.

“Certainly,” without thinking too much about it, Ava grabbed the hem of her own jacket, offering her elbow to Sara.

Sara took it immediately, seemingly quite content to have something to lean on. She turned to the house, waving to her mother. Dinah seemed to be lurking around the front door, she waved back when she saw Sara with her hand on Ava's arm, and a smile Ava couldn't quite place graced her lips.

“I hope you haven't been waiting long.”

“No,” Sara denied too quickly. Ava raised an eyebrow at that. “Okay, yes. I didn't want to miss you passing by,” she admitted.

The thought, oddly enough, made Ava smile to herself.

They started walking into town and as they proceeded with their arms intwined, Ava realized why Mrs Lance's behaviour was striking her as odd: it was only fair in regards to her own. Mrs Lance had observed Ava inviting Sara to spend time on her property, then offering to walk her home, and now heading into town by her side, arms touching. Mrs Lance was probably convinced Ava was making a clumsy attempt at courting Sara, since she did not have a chance to do so with Laurel, but Ava was not looking for a settlement of that kind anymore. She had decided she wouldn't marry for politics and that was final.

And Sara knew that she was now planning to run unmarried, Ava had said so. Certainly, the girl herself couldn't think this was Ava's attempt at courtship! Although... why _wasn't_ Ava attempting a courtship?

Sara was smart, brilliant even, certainly gentle on the eyes, kind with the people she cared about and Ava really couldn't bring herself to care what others said about her. There was no denying Ava was sweet on her. In addition to that, there was their first encounter, which Sara had forgotten about, Ava was sure. But it had burned in Ava's mind for so long, she felt like it would be utterly impossible to let go of it.

She felt her cheeks grew warmer as she asked herself if it was possible that she actually fancied Sara Lance. How improper, she had been awfully bold with her, going as far as inviting her into her own house when they were alone.

This thought brought her back to Sara's stance on a possible marriage between Ava and Laurel: if Sara loved Mr Queen, she would have encouraged Laurel to pursue the courtship, but if there was a chance she would perhaps fancy Ava, she would have been strongly opposed to it, surely. But alas, Sara had seemed completely untouched by the whole ordeal.

“My, you're thinking quite hard about something. What worries you?”

Ava decided it couldn't hurt to ask. After all, how would Sara know her reasoning behind the question?

“I was thinking about the day I visited your house the first time,” Ava answered. “You seemed indifferent to my presence there.”

“This will sound rude, but I admit I was. Laurel was engaged already, your presence only stirred my mother's protests.”

“I am quite sorry to hear that.”

“That is not your fault. But I knew Laurel had her heart set on him. They're fond of each other, and a good match.”

“So you're happy they're to be wed?”

“Of course I am happy for my sister!” Sara laughed at the absurd question. “In fact, I encouraged Oliver to propose to her quickly, if he didn't want to lose her to you.”

It was Ava's turn to laugh. “I doubt he would have. Once one has the heart set on someone, it takes more than a fluke to make it flutter away.”

Sara turned her head, looking at Ava for a moment too long to be considered proper. Her heart picked its pace up, as it often did these days, and finally Sara was able to discern a pattern in it, a constant presence: Colonel Sharpe.

Sara had never been a romantic, nor had she ever believed love could be striking as lightening, but after all the years that had passed from their first meeting, which Ava had probably forgotten, she found herself wondering if perhaps her heart truly did belong to the woman walking beside her, since she had never been able to completely let go of her.

  
  


Ava was swiped away among arriving, as Zari started to introduce her around to all the people in the room. At last, she caught sight of Laurel and they greeted her.

“Miss Lance, a pleasure to see you.”

“Colonel, my sister said you would come. I left earlier to meet Oliver, but I knew she would wait for you so you could walk together.”

“So we did,” Ava confirmed. “She should be around here somewhere,” her eyes scanned the room, not catching sight of Sara.

“Has Oliver left your side so quickly?” Zari wondered. “Usually, he would hardly leave you on your own at all.”

“I suppose he wanted to speak to Sara himself, he hasn't been seeing her much, since she started visiting Colonel Sharpe's property so often. He went looking for her a few minutes ago, but I don't see them here,” she looked around as well.

A terrible feeling was starting to set in the pit of Ava's stomach, so she decided to inquire what was happening.

“If you may excuse me, I believed I've greeted anyone but the host, I shall go look for Amaya,” she smiled politely and headed for the counter.

After making sure Zari and Laurel weren't looking at her anymore, she turned to glance at the Jiwe's twins, still busy with last minute preparatives for the dinner behind the counter. She doubted Sara would have snuck upstairs, it was too blatant even for her. But she knew there was a room before the kitchen that Mr and Mrs Jiwe kept empty except for a desk and two chairs, were they had business meetings and kept their documents for the tavern.

She cracked the door open more silently than she intended.

Sara was standing between the desk and Mr Queen himself. He was close to her, his hands closed around Sara's wrists. One of her hands was leaning on his chest, and it looked like she was trying to keep him at a distance.

“I've told you, Oliver. You need to be true to Laurel, this – _us –_ is over.”

“Sara, you know I've always-”

Ava cleared her voice loudly, eyes glued to the floor, hand gripping the door handle so tight her knuckles turned white.

“Mr Queen. I believe Miss Lance was looking for you,” she said, eyes finally moving up when she was sure the two of them were standing at a more appropriate distance.

_She deserves so much better than him._

If the subject of the sentence she kept thinking about was Sara or Laurel, Ava wasn't quite sure. But she knew she wasn't happy with the behaviour he exhibited.

“Certainly,” he nodded. He glanced at Sara, quickly, then walked out of the room as fast as his feet would carry him without breaking into a run.

Ava watched him closely as he walked out, then turned to Sara.

Something in her eyes had shifted. She didn't look mad or angry, nothing of the sort, nothing Sara would have predicted in her interpretation of Major Heywood's words about her. It was something much worse.

She look so disappointed in Sara she could barely stand it.

“Nothing happened,” she said, leaving the “_not since they've been engaged_” out of the words she spoke out loud.

“I think we're both too smart to believe that to be true.”

Sara had never heard Ava speak with such detachment and coldness. Like the matter was of no importance to her whatsoever. When the door closed behind Ava it did so loudly, with a noise that echoed in Sara's mind for endless moments, before she found the strength to leave the room as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting to the juicy stuff slowly but steadily. Thoughts? 
> 
> (I'll try to update regularly on Thursday/Sunday like I've been doing, thank you for the patience!)


	12. Chapter 12

It was a miracle Ava managed to sit through dinner. She had been seated between Zari and Nate, in front of Amaya and Charlie. The conversation was carried on effortlessly and she tried to give a proper contribute whenever she could. She even managed to almost never glance to the end of the table, where Sara was sitting, next to Laurel.

They finished dinner and had a nightcap, when Ava finally deemed it proper to ask to be excused. She made sure to thank Zari profusely and to tell her she had enjoyed herself greatly. Zari took advantage of the moment to invite her to next week's dinner as well.

Ava told her she would definitely consider it, and smiled at Amaya, thanking her as well.

“Are you leaving?”

Sara's voice made her freeze just two feet from the door. She turned slowly, clearing her voice as if it would buy her time.

“Yes. I do apologize but I have an early morning, as I've told Zari.”

Sara nodded. “I'll walk with you.”

“There is no need, I've asked Mr Heywood-”

“He'll stay too late,” Sara dismissed. “I'll walk with you.”

Ava pressed her lips together. It would be too rude to refuse, so she nodded and straightened her jacket, her hands clasping behind her back as she started to walk.

Sara could see the stiff military pose she was now keeping, something she'd never done before in Sara's company.

“What you saw is complicated.”

“Forgive my rudeness, Miss Lance, but I do not wish to hear this.”

“Hear what? There is nothing scandalous or-”

“Then, me not hearing it, shouldn't be too much of a bother.”

Ava's words felt final, and Sara huffed but didn't say anything else for a few blissfully silent minutes, as they kept walking towards the East road.

“I liked him before she did, but I was too young, so she let him court her just because she could have him do it. Then she fell in love with him.”

“And you're all grown now,” Ava pointed out, bitterly.

“It was a game, at first. A game to see if he liked me better.”

“I do not wish to know this, Miss Lance,” Ava said again, but Sara was set on explaining herself whether Ava liked it or not.

“So I let him kiss me, twice. Then I understood it wasn't a game anymore.”

Ava bit her lip hard. “Matters regarding the heart never stays such for long,” she whispered.

“I put a stop to it, I told him to make up his mind.”

For a moment, Ava felt her resentment slip away from her. She slowly came to a halt as she imagined how Sara must've felt about the whole ordeal. About the man she fancied choosing her own sister over her when given an ultimatum. And then about him trying to still keep her close to himself despite not choosing her. It must've been quite the heartbreak.

“I'm sorry. That he chose her. It must be painful.”

Ava truly believed that, and she was genuinely sorry. She knew what it felt like to be fond of someone who didn't feel the same way, after all.

Sara frowned, stopping as well, turning to Ava. She was holding her lantern up, and it was dark but Ava could see her confused expression quite clearly.

“No, he didn't. I chose her for him.”

It was Ava's turn to be confused.

“I ordered him to propose as soon as my father told us-” she came to an abrupt stop.

“Told you?” Ava prompted.

Sara started walking again and Ava followed suit, lighting the path with her lantern so Sara wouldn't trip and fall. Her frustration was immediately back when faced with the Lance's childish behaviour.

“When he told you _what_?”

She knew her tone was too firm, but she couldn't bring herself to care.

“When he told us you'd asked to court her.”

Ava froze again. She thought back to her assumption that Sara was happy Laurel and Oliver were to be wed, but she was just glad Laurel was already committed to someone.

“You didn't want me to court your sister. Why?”

She had to jog to catch up to Sara, who wasn't slowing down to wait for her. She wanted to get away from this conversation and, truth be told, Ava couldn't blame her one bit.

Sara only stopped when the pathway to her house was finally near, the light from the house lighting the way there, not completely but enough.

She was tempted to tell Ava the truth, to tell her Ava should have known why, but instead she forgot. To tell her Sara had kept this secret – their secret – keenly, the memory of it growing painful but at the same time fonder every day. But why mention a secret Ava had cared so little about she could so quickly forget?

“Something your uncle said about you. That you would have thrived in war. I've asked myself what kind of person could ever thrive in times that awful and then I remembered what my father was like when he first came back. You were still on the front, you probably don't know.”

“I do know. And I'm not-”

“An alcoholic? You wouldn't admit to being one even if you were, so I couldn't know. All I knew was that you were a soldier who wanted to marry fast. I didn't know you, but I know soldiers. Rip was a drunk. Major Heywood used to beat up Nate before they noticed he bled so easily. Merlyn is an honest to God psychopath. I didn't know you. I know Oliver, he's a bit of a player, but he's not a bad man.”

“He cheated on her with her own sister,” Ava pointed out.

“We knew it was wrong. It'll never happen again.”

“No, no,” Ava corrected her. “_You_ know it was wrong. It'll never happen again _with you_. I saw him, he had his hands on you, tonight. Do you truly want Laurel to be married to him for the rest of her life? Never knowing? And what if she finds out?”

“Well, I couldn't let her marry _you_!”

Ava frowned, feeling something heavy in her chest.

“You know me now, at least a bit. But you still feel this way.”

It wasn't a question, not really. Even if it had been, Ava would have liked for it to go unanswered, because whatever Sara might have said to that, it wouldn't have been the right answer.

If Sara said her opinion hadn't changed, that Ava wasn't fit for Laurel, she would know Sara's opinion of her wasn't very high. On the other hand, if Sara said she _had_ changed her mind, and wanted Laurel to have someone better than Oliver, that she would tell her sister the truth so she and Ava could court, it would mean Ava would have to keep good on her promise, do the proper, right thing.

But Ava couldn't agree to marry Laurel anymore.

Not since seeing Sara again.

Not since she had started feeling something she had never thought she would be able to.

But if Sara said she didn't trust Ava to marry her sister, that would certainly crush whatever feeling Ava might have had, because it would surely mean Sara could never return them.

Her hand gripped the lantern tighter and she was just about to make an excuse to leave, when the answer she wasn't seeking came anyway.

“Yes, I do feel the same. I do not want you to marry Laurel.”

Ava bit her cheek so hard she started to taste copper in her mouth.

“Maybe you should ask yourself why that is. And it has nothing to do with what your uncle has said about you.”

Sara started down the path to her front door, leaving Ava to stand still behind her. Once she was inside and safe, Ava started walking down the East road that would bring her home.

She didn't need to think about it, it was perfectly clear to her, since the things Sara had said when Ava had been ready to confront those men with her sword came back to her mind. Sara didn't trust her and was in fact probably scared of her. And there was nothing Ava could do to change that, as things were.

But one thing was certain: Sara Lance would never return her affection, so she had to discard her feelings, and quickly so, before they got her into more unnecessarily trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is quite the blow to Ava's feelings, but at the same time progresses things further! Let me know what you thought!


	13. The bay

Ava did not want to see anyone on Sunday, but especially not Sara Lance.

She knew, far too well, she had gotten attached far too quickly and far too much. But this would be a useful lesson in the matters of the heart, she shouldn't let her heart guide her decisions. If she wanted to make it in politics, she would have to sacrifice part of her principles for the sake of being pragmatic.

This was the idea that led her to leave her house at dawn and saddle up Waverider, riding as fast as she could down to the valley and then to the North. The water had a calming effect on both of them, most of the time. It didn't take long to get to the bay, despite the initial riding pace having devolved to a nice stroll in the morning sun.

The weather was perfect, not too hot but not as cold as an October morning would have been the year before.

There was a secluded spot Ava liked best, where nobody else ever seemed to go, where she could dip her feet in the water surrounded by nothing but nature for miles, so much so that the eye lost itself in the vastness of the blue water and green landscape.

It was so peaceful.

A smile graced her lips. Sara would call it boring. But Sara wasn't there, and Ava remembered sourly the reason why she had wanted to escape the city, and then felt like such a fool when she remembered almost inviting Sara to this place.

Her favourite place in the world, as well as Waverider's. The horse was nearby, legs dipped into the water a few feet from her.

Sara would have loved it there, the sea and the clean grass, especially if they went in the Spring, when flowers grew all around the shore. But, come winter, Sara would stop going by the house. She would find another way to pass her time and forget all about Ava. Again.

For a moment, a deep and blinding anger passed through her.

While the moment lasted, she actually considered making the best move she could make for her own career: tell Quentin what she saw at the tavern. Tell him what Sara had confessed to her, tell him everything she knew about Oliver Queen. He would have believed her, at least enough to question Sara. And as good as she was at hiding things from him, Sara was no expert liar when confronted directly.

Quentin would have called off the engagement, Laurel would be allowed to court her and, even if she did see Ava coming clean as the political move it was, she would eventually tolerate her enough to agree to a marriage that would set her family for life. Ava was pretty agreeable. She was loyal and a hard worker, after all. And even if she didn't, at least she wouldn't be married to a man who had pursued her sister!

But alas, the moment passed. And she was brought back into the real world, where she would never, ever, hurt someone just for the sake of her career.

Laurel was happy, Oliver would hopefully stop now that Sara had shot him down. And Ava... Ava couldn't have the thing she wanted. Waverider trotted to her and Ava looked up at the halters Sara had purchased for her.

Why gift something so beautiful to someone she appeared to despise so much, Ava didn't understand.

But she knew, she was absolutely certain, she could never despise Sara back. She could, and would, avoid her. But not hurt her, never hurt her.

She started to head back once the sun wasn't high anymore, but wasn't quite dusk yet. She was feeling somewhat better, the sun soothed her and the fresh air calmed her, being away from people often made her think with more clarity.

There was a simple solution to her problems, after all. She could just keep a respectable distance from Sara and not behave inappropriately around her anymore, so Dinah would stop thinking Ava's actions had hidden meanings and Sara, hopefully, would soon be less afraid of her.

She just had to hope, despite what she had told Sara about hearts that wouldn't just flutter away when already set on someone, that her own heart would soon recover.

  
  


Sara had spent her day trying to make up her mind about going to Ava's house. She would tell herself that nothing bad had actually happened, that it was okay to keep visiting and it would be good to clear the air, explain further what had, or rather hadn't, happened between Oliver and herself.

A moment later, she would have changed her mind already, thinking she shouldn't go instead, Ava probably didn't want to see her, and Sara had bid her goodbye in a rude way, telling Ava to ask herself why Sara wasn't happy about her wanting to court Laurel.

Of course Sara couldn't be happy about that. And Ava would be perfectly aware of why, if she just remembered their first meeting.

Maybe she did remember it. Maybe she just wasn't as fond of the memory as Sara was.

Still, Sara couldn't go.

But why should she give up the garden and the trees, if she had done nothing bad? Wasn't not going an admission of guilt in itself? Sara shouldn't feel guilty, she owed Ava absolutely nothing, not even an explanation. After all, Ava wasn't courting her.

Ava _wasn't_ courting her.

“Dad, you know Colonel Sharpe quite well, don't you?”

“Yes, I do. Would you stop pacing around?”

“You've said she acts different around me.”

“Yes. She's softer with you. Maybe because you're younger.”

“Just a few years! I'm not a baby, she doesn't _coddle_ me!”

Quentin sighed, finally turning his attention completely to his daughter, discarding the letters he was reading.

“No, that she does not. But she... well, she forgives you things she wouldn't forgive other strangers, she treats you like she's known you a long time.”

That, he could see, meant something to Sara.

“You think so?”

He nodded. “I'd say so. She's detached. Not cold, or bitter, but simply proper. Sometimes too polite, I'd say. She isn't with you.”

That was enough to make up her mind: she was going to the Sharpe's to water her plants an if she just so happened to run into Ava, then so be it.

  
  


She started to work quickly, but slowed down by the last row, trying to take her time, to stall until Ava came out of that giant goddamn house and talked to her.

But there had been no trace of her. Eventually, Sara just resigned herself to walk back home before dark by herself and started to put away her equipment.

Just as she was starting down the path, she saw someone approaching the house on horse. She would've recognized the horse a mile away, so peculiar was her colour. But the woman riding it barely looked like Ava.

She was wearing a white shirt, sleeves folded up until mid arm, her muscles on display. Her hair was loose and moving with each step the horse took, the wind gently caressing through it. Her skin wasn't pale or her eyes tired after hours of work, but instead she had a rosey colour from sitting under the sun all day, and her eyes looked as alive as Sara had ever seen them.

Ava was radiant.

She came to a halt a couple of feet away from Sara, dismounting quickly.

“Miss Lance.”

“Colonel Sharpe,” Sara whispered almost dreamily.

“I was hoping to catch sight of you.”

“Were you?” Sara felt better hearing that, knowing Ava wasn't crossed with her.

“Yes, I wanted to say that, on the days you only need to make the walk in order to water the plants, I can have Gary do that for you so you won't have to make it here.”

Sara felt her heart sink. Without coming to tend to the plants, she wouldn't have an excuse to see Ava anymore. At least not everyday.

“Of course you're still welcome to come and keep an eye on things when you deem necessary, but it hardly seems fair you walk here everyday. And since you've made abundantly clear what your opinion of me is, I will try to stay out of your way as much as possible, from now on.”

Ava didn't give her a chance to reply. Instead, she just tugged Waverider away, heading for the stables.

Sara was left staring after her, baffled by what had just happened. Ava thought she was scared of her, or something worse. She thought Sara would rather avoid her presence. How has she messed something up so quickly and so thoroughly, she had no idea.

  
  


Ava had made up her mind, but it didn't make the conversation any easier. She was giving Sara the space she had wanted, but it came at her own expenses. Still, at least she didn't have to see her everyday anymore.

Not knowing what should come next, she sat down in her study, thinking about speaking to Nate and Rip about starting her campaign. Of course, she would need an update from Nora before that. And Nora! She hadn't even replied to her letter the whole week. Awfully rude on her part, she decided.

She started writing something down immediately, asking how Damien was, how Nora herself was. She asked Nora to visit when it was convenient, thinking it better to have a part of the conversation face to face. Then, somehow, she found herself writing about having seen the girl she met before the war again, about how said girl didn't even remember the day they met. About how distraught Ava had felt, but how she was now trying to let go of her completely.

The letter wasn't long, but it was almost a page. Ava had never been lengthy in her writing, so she decided this would do. She would send the letter first thing in the morning, hoping Nora would have some helpful advice on what to do about the whole ordeal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this isn't even the main angst of the story! But they had to get some distance so they could see things from a different prospective and grow even closer than before. The next update might come a day early because of a committement I have on Thursday, in the mean time please let me know what you thought!


	14. The friendship

On Monday, Ava was going over the projects for the new school, when she heard a voice a few feet to the left demanding to speak to her. She walked over, recognizing the man immediately.

“Mr Queen,” she greeted Robert. “Miss Queen,” she smiled at Thea.

“Can you give us a moment?” He asked his daughter, who nodded and wandered off. “Why are all these man working here? There are only five working on the square!”

He sounded angry and looked a little red, too.

“Mr Queen-”

“I pay for the renovation, you remember that, yes?”

Ava pushed her lips together. She never quite forgot that, truth be told. The State did so little to help, and she had to rely on Mr Queen's generosity to keep rebuilding the crumbling city. It was a hard thing to forget.

“Mr Queen, we need to reopen the school before next year. Downtown children-”

“Children who actually need to learn something are homeschooled, Colonel Sharpe.”

“Rich kids!” Ava corrected. “What about everyone else? They need an education and we need to provide it to them. The square isn't pretty but it serves its purpose as of now.”

“Careful, Colonel,” Robert said, voice low and dangerous. “You're venturing into dangerous waters, you're still in my town. Play by my rules.”

Ava wanted the school. She knew it was the right choice. So, she needed a different approach to get it done.

“Mr Queen, all the men who work for me have children who would attend this school. If we send all of them to the square, the works will be poorly done and hurried up. Let me finish here first, and I promise you'll have the prettiest town in the State as your own. But if we move there now and hurry the works, it won't be a job well done.”

He stared at her for a moment longer, but his anger lessened and Ava knew she had won the argument. She glanced over, seeing the new lad, Harper, talking to Miss Queen. He followed her line of sight, seeing them as well.

“Have it your way. But I want both done by the time the winter is through,” he said quickly, before hurrying to his daughter's side, leading her away from the construction site.

Ava sighed in relief. At least she could put five more men on this now, and make sure the school was ready as soon as it could be.

  
  


Sara could barely sleep the past few nights. She couldn't let go of what Ava had said, how already distant she looked when she had told Sara she would give her space.

The problem was, Sara didn't want space. After a week of seeing Ava everyday, some days even more than once, she had become hopeful the woman would be part of her new routine.

Certainly, a week wasn't much, she was well aware of that. In fact, it was no time at all. Laurel and Oliver had been courting for years, for example. But after all the time she had waited, perhaps a week was all that was needed for these feelings to start stirring in her.

Sara wanted to tell Ava she didn't need space, nor did she want it. She would have liked to let her know they'd already _had_ space and it did nothing to quell Sara's nerves. They'd had miles of it, years of it. So much space, in fact, that Ava could even forget all about her.

It was silly, perhaps.

After all, if Ava had forgotten, it couldn't have been as important as Sara remembered it to be, could it? Maybe it was all a trick of her own mind.

Either way, if Ava thought it fair to put some distance between them, what could Sara do but grant her wish? It didn't matter how far from what she wanted it was, or how she wished things could be different.

Then, a terrible thought struck her, just as the morning light was starting to colour the sky: what if Ava used that distance to forget all about her again?

  
  


After the long day she'd had, she was looking forward to get home and get some rest. As most nights, she made it home at dusk. Although, _not_ as most nights, she was quite surprised of what she found when she got there.

On Monday, when Gary explained Miss Lance hadn't visited, Ava had given him careful instructions about how to water the plants, when to do it, how much water to give to them. He had done a passable job on Tuesday and a good one on Wednesday. But on Thursday, upon returning home, there she saw the girl who wouldn't let her have some peace of mind, always rattling around in her thoughts.

“Miss Lance,” Ava greeted, noticing how slowly Sara was going about watering the last row of plants. “How have you been?”

“Colonel Sharpe,” Sara turned to her as soon as she heard the voice. “You look awfully pale.”

Ava didn't flinch. She had been perhaps overworking herself, taking on longer hours purely by accident, overstaying after her men had gone home to check everything was going smoothly, or finish up something left half done. She felt like home would be too empty upon returning, and she certainly needed the distraction her work provided.

“It has been a tiring week,” she answered politely. No sarcasm or witty come back. “Send for me when you're done, Miss Lance.”

She was about to turn when Sara stepped away from the seeds and picked up the empty watering can.

“I am. I only have to put this back in the shed.”

Ava sighed. She wasn't even trying to hide the fact she had just been waiting around for Ava, making the Colonel feel both guilty and furious.

“Let me grab my lantern and we can go.”

The walk started silently, but Ava knew Sara Lance wasn't physically built to be able to be comfortable in silence for too long. She used to find it endearing, now she dreaded which words might come out of her mouth.

“We should speak about what happened.”

“Certainly,” Ava conceded, but it was clear she would have rather not do so.

“You offered to stay out of my way, last week. That won't do. First of all, it's your property I'm visiting everyday,” she noted.

“Not everyday, you haven't been by since Sunday.”

“Second of all,” Sara continued undeterred, “I wouldn't like that. In fact, the arrangement we had before worked perfectly fine with me and I do not wish to change it.”

Ava hummed, thinking about her words. “Last time I saw your mother, I had the impression she thought my behaviour toward you was... inappropriate. I apologize if that is what transpired with you as well, your father knows me very well and he knows I would have never acted improperly if my intentions were planned.”

“You mean, as you did with Laurel? Asking my father to meet her before even introducing yourself?”

“Yes. I would have never invited you into my home if my intentions weren't transparent. I really was only thinking about the garden when I did so, if I made you uncomfortable or upset you in any way, then I apologize.”

Ava neglected to mention how she did so because her own intentions weren't clear to herself until later in time, how now that she knew her feelings for Sara were ever present, she needed to put some barriers between them, so she didn't misstep again.

“You thought I worried you might want to pursue me? That it upset me or my mother?”

“Because of what you said about soldiers and-”

Sara stopped, taking Ava's hand in her own and making her come to a halt as well. Ava's eyes immediately dropped to their joined hands, to the way Sara's thumb gently caressed her knuckles. How delicate a touch it was, for someone Sara thought so rough.

“I'm not afraid of you, Ava. And I know you're a good person, nice even. I'm sorry I doubted my father's judgement, he always says how you're the most righteous person he knows.”

Ava looked up, eyes meeting Sara's.

“Can we be friends again? I've missed last week's routine.”

How would Ava ever find the will in her heart to deny anything to this woman, when she asked with such a lively sparkle in her eyes?

“That would be lovely,” she squeezed Sara's hand the tiniest hint, before letting it go. “I'm sorry, my cut is still-”

“Oh, I'd forgot! I'm sorry.”

“No harm done,” Ava reassured, then started walking again.

After a few moments, she noticed Sara's cheeks had changed colour. She frowned at the cuteness of it, one eyebrow raising up when Sara met her gaze.

“I do apologize about using your first name, Colonel.”

Only then, she realized what Sara had called her, and it made her smile. “Nonsense, in fact I would like for you to use my first name, there's no need to be so formal. We're the same age, aren't we? You don't call your friends by title.”

“You're my father's boss.”

“He calls me by name, too.”

Sara thought it over, then nodded. “Will you come to dinner on Saturday? We're having it in our yard this week, everyone will be there.”

“Would it make you happy?”

Sara's breath left her lungs all at once, and for a moment she was taken back years in time, and was in another place altogether. She blinked away the memory and turned to Ava, forcing herself to smile up at her.

“Very much so.”

Ava smiled back, eyes searching Sara's for a moment longer.

“Than it's what I shall do. Goodnight, Miss Lance.”

Sara walked to her front door on unsteady legs, knowing Ava wouldn't leave until she was safe inside, but wanting nothing more than to run into her own room and shut the door until her heart had quieted down, until it stopped aching for something long gone. For someone it could not have.

Friendship was all she could have, and she would cherish it deeply, she would never endanger it again as she had done twice already. Because one thing was becoming more and more apparent to her: she could not bare the thought of having nothing of Ava at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it starts... and next chapter has even more progress! I know the slow burn is slow but we'll get there soon! The update is a day earlier because I couldn't post tomorrow, I don't know when next update will be, but I'm hoping Sunday as usual, maybe sooner... let me know what you thought! :)


	15. The chairs

Ava decided to wear her red jacket. It was old, one of the first thing she had bought upon turning eighteen, but it still suited her and she liked the colour, it fitted the Autumn.

When she got to the Lance's house it was still early, but she offered to help Sara set up and got to work on moving tables and chairs with Quentin, as Sara, Dinah and Laurel handled the cooking.

Once they were done, Ava looked to the house to see Sara approaching, two glasses of water in her hands. She gave one to her father, offering the other to Ava.

“Thank you for helping. Mr Queen was supposed to, but he's late.”

“It was no bother at all.”

Quentin watched on as Ava accepted the water, her thumb grazing Sara's fingers as she did. Sara didn't step away once Ava had the glass, but stayed close to her and looked down, not knowing, perhaps, how to prolong their conversation.

Ava seemed more composed, but he could see his youngest daughter was growing fonder of the Colonel with each passing day.

“How is your hand?”

Ava opened and closed her left hand, looking down at the cut, it was barely visible anymore.

“Better each day, thank you.”

Silence befell them again and Quentin was starting to take pity on the pair of fools. Did they really not see how they behaved around each other? Ava appeared to have lost ten years in wiseness and Sara had never been so tame and timid in her life. But he ought to not get in the way of whatever was blossoming, scared he could, in the process of trying to help, end up crushing it instead.

“Are you taking Waverider to the bay, tomorrow?”

“I suppose so, unless something arises.”

At the third pause, Quentin felt like cringing.

“Oh, look, Mr Queen is here,” he interrupted whatever was going on inside the two women's heads, walking to the front yard and leaving them to pine upon themselves.

They stayed a few feet behind him, letting him greet Oliver first. Ava shook his hand second and Quentin could see she tighten her grip just a little too much. Ava had never quite liked the Queen's, but she'd never been hostile toward them either. Something had made her distaste for Oliver Queen grow.

He felt worried about what that might be, because the most logical conclusion was that she didn't like having lost the chance to court Laurel to his proposal, but that would mean Sara's apparent crush wasn't returned.

“Miss Sharpe. I hadn't realized you'd been invited.”

“It's Colonel Sharpe,” Sara reminded him. “Forgive him, he has no manners.”

“That's alright,” she reassured Sara. “Although I would have thought you might remember seeing me at last week's dinner,” she left her words hung shorty, as not to make them seem malicious. “It was just one table, after all.”

“Miss- _Colonel_ Sharpe, I hope there are no hard feelings. I've heard you might have wanted to court Laurel...”

Ava shook her head. “Although the timing led to a miscommunication I assure you, Mr Queen, I have no intention of pursuing an engaged woman. In fact, we have only met at the dinner, since. I have no intention of coming between you and Miss Lance.”

He nodded, glancing at Sara for a moment, than back at her. “That is good to hear.”

Ava had the sudden urge to step in front of Sara and rephrase that she had no intention of coming between him and _Laurel_, but she had no right to do so, and it would certainly stir some suspicion in Quentin, which for Sara's sake she was looking to avoid.

“Speaking of your fiancée, we should let you get to her, perhaps. Everything's already taken care of out here.”

“Certainly,” he said. Nodding to Quentin and Sara, he made his way to the front door.

Quentin scratched his head, deep in thought. Well, something was definitely amiss with the whole situation.

  
  


Dinner was pleasant and the only slight imperfection was that, having been at her own home, Ava didn't have to walk her back at the end of the night, leaving her craving the time alone they had been denied by the location.

Quentin knocked on her door when everyone had left and everything had been cleaned out, his eyes a little sad, but his smile gentle.

“You had fun?”

“I did, dad. Thank you for allowing me to have this.”

“Your friends are always welcomed here.”

He lurked around the door, indecisive. Sara knew he wanted to talk about something delicate and didn't know how to introduce the subject.

“Are you okay, dad?”

“Yes, of course. Listen, Sara,” he stepped inside, sitting down on the desk chair. “You mustn't be upset if your... sentiments for the Colonel go unnoticed.”

“What?” Sara chuckled at that, as if the very notion was absurd. “Dad, I-”

“Listen,” he asked again. “The thing with Laurel, she was never set on it, it was mostly Mr Haywood and Captain Hunter's idea. She doesn't... dwell too much on these kind of matters. She's so focused on her career, I'm afraid she doesn't know what is like to be cared for the way you care for her. It doesn't mean she isn't fond of you, but she might have troubles recognizing she does herself.”

“She's always been sweet to me,” Sara explained, voice lower, like it was supposed to explain why Sara couldn't possibly avoid the feeling she's developed.

“That she has. And listen, if the Governor lives long enough, maybe once Laurel's married, I can talk to her, yes? I can- we can see if she'd still want to marry into our family.”

Sara nodded, but knew deep inside her heart that it would never have the same meaning if it wasn't coming from her.

“We'll see.”

He nodded, happy with the answer, and left the room with less sadness in his eyes.

  
  


On Monday, when Ava came back from work, Sara was there waiting for her. Tuesday as well, then she skipped Wednesday to do some errands for her mother, but was back again on Thursday.

They had made no mention of the dinner or Mr Queen the whole week, but Ava seemed less tense than she had on Saturday. These days, Sara had taken on the habit of walking closer to her, which prompted Ava to offer her elbow for Sara to lean on, more often than not.

They had almost never encountered anyone else while walking down the road, not this far from town and close to Ava's land. The only mansions in the East were the Sharpe's and the Heywood's, then a few others before town, amongst which was the Lance's. So it was usually deserted, especially after dusk.

But on Thursday, just outside Ava's property, on the road leading to town, they saw two people walking in the same direction as them, her hand on his elbow, similarly to how Sara and Ava were walking.

“Nate!”

“Ava?”

“Miss Jiwe, a pleasure to see you.”

“Colonel, leaving the house so late?”

“Just walking Miss Lance home,” Ava glanced to the woman on her arm.

“Ah, I see. I was walking Amaya home as well, we lost track of time,” Nate said, smiling.

“Have you, now?” Sara smirked at them, quickly trying to hide the meaning of her words a moment later. “We did as well, we were looking at the first few sprouts! Something's actually growing, I can hardly believe it!”

Amaya smiled, eyes darting for a moment to Ava and Sara's joined arms, not long enough for it to be obvious, but Ava's trained eye immediately noticed it.

“Yes, planting the seeds for something would usually lead to it sprouting, and I want to be the first to congratulate you on that.”

Sara beamed, and although Ava thought Amaya's words might have an hidden meaning, she didn't have the heart to say out loud that nothing of the sorts was happening between them, nothing inappropriate or worth thinking up double meanings about. Instead, she remained silent and smiled along with Sara, willing her mind to only think about the actual, tangible sprouts growing in her own garden.

“Are we having our dinner this Saturday?” Amaya asked as they resumed walking.

“Yes, at Mr Queen's. He should send the invites out soon, if he hasn't already done so,” Nate commented.

A part of Ava was sorry she wouldn't see the people that were growing fond of her on that weekend, but another part was glad Mr Queen had the decency of not inviting her at all.

“Will you host next one's, Nate?” Amaya asked, curious.

“I shall, if it would bring you joy.”

“So everyone could see the little pond you have out back!”

Nate and Ava exchanged a look at that and bursted out laughing.

“What have I said?” Amaya wondered out loud.

“Nothing, it's some memories me and Ava are quite fond of. We're relatives, but we became friends because of the pond, you know?”

“Yes, Waverider escaped one day to go stomp around in the shallow water. It's how she got her name, she was so small back then. Her ridiculous name didn't do her favours when we left for the front three years later, but I was always very fond of it.”

“Aw, I didn't know that, that is the cutest story I've ever heard!” Sara chuckled as she imagined the horse stomping around in Nate's pond.

“Have you never hosted one of these dinners, Nate?” Ava asked, realizing that it was a bit odd his friends hadn't seen the pond already.

“We used to have them at the tavern, only recently we started touring around, since inviting my sister and her friends meant almost doubling the people,” Sara explained. “But in the last few months we've grown back closer and we've decided it would be fun to do so.”

“And yes, I shall offer my home for the next one,” Nate announced. “We've already had some at the tavern, three at the Lance's and this is the third at the Queen's as well.”

“Oh, maybe you-” Sara turned to Ava, but stopped in her tracks when she realized her request was rather impolite.

Ava chuckled. “You would like to show everyone the sprouts?” She guessed.

Sara almost pouted at the teasing. “Nobody believes me about my garden skills.”

Ava chuckled again. “Of course, if it would make you happy, then I'd love to host one someday. After Nate has, so I don't steal his thunder.”

There it was again, Ava promising to do anything that would make her happy, like she had before... before everything.

Ava's cheeks turned pink and Sara realized she had given an answer so similar to what Nate had said to Amaya. And Nate and Amaya were as good as engaged by now, it was just a matter of time before Nate actually found the courage to ask for her hand.

“Well, this is me. I shall see you two soon,” Sara smiled.

“It was a pleasure, as always,” Ava squeezed both Nate's and Amaya's hands.

They said their goodbyes, then headed further down the road into town.

“It was impolite of me to ask that of you,” Sara apologized. “And of course you don't have to, if you don't want to.”

“I do,” Ava reassured her. “It would be a pleasure, the house is too big to be always that empty.”

Sara smiled, glad to not have overstepped. “Will you pick me up on Saturday, so we can walk together?”

“Oh. I don't think Mr Queen will send an invite, Sara. I must say I have grown to be quite adverse to his presence, although I do not fully understand why. Perhaps his attitude towards you and your sister- why are you smiling so broadly?”

Sara bit her lips together, trying to stop the aforementioned smile. “You called me Sara.”

“Oh. How awfully impolite, I-”

“I loved it,” Sara reassured her, the smile growing bigger despite her wishes. “And if you won't come to dinner maybe we can still see each other, Saturday. I could come pick the pears on your backyard and you could read outside so be'd be together, perhaps?”

A warm feeling spread inside Ava's chest, at the realization that Sara wasn't looking for someone to walk with. She was craving Ava's company, and the Saturdays were becoming the most of the hours they spent together.

“I'd love nothing more.”

Sara loved it as well, the reassurance that they would see each other in the days to come, day after day, for as long a time as they wished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm truly sorry for the delay, I was somewhere with no wi-fi and I was almost out of data the last ten days, so that's why I've been MIA. Schedule is back on track, next chapter on Thursday! <3
> 
> Thank you for the patience and if you feel so inclined I'd be happy to know what you think about this!


	16. The threat

Saturday came and Sara felt overjoyed with the prospect of spending so much time in Ava's company. She had told her mother she wouldn't be back for lunch and headed for the Sharpe's land early in the morning, so she could make the most of the day.

Ava had her tea earlier than usual, and then had chosen two books, set on following Sara's suggestion of reading outside. She was waiting for her to arrive and, albeit se could have started to read already, she had found herself pacing around her own study.

Eventually, at barely half past eight, she had elected to go to the tool shed, it wouldn't hurt to get everything ready in advance. As she carefully picked the best, steadiest ladder and placed it on a nearby tree, she saw Sara come down the path to the house. She smiled upon seeing Ava and waved her hand well before she was close enough for a verbal greeting. Ava felt her heart melt a little at the smile and she immediately knew she wouldn't be able to convince herself to read a single sentence, if she could instead spend her time talking to Sara.

She set the ladder against the tree more steadily and turned to greet Sara with a smile of her own.

“Miss Lance.”

“Colonel Sharpe. You do look rather... casual.”

“Yes, these are old clothes I usually wear to the lake. I suppose I'd already made up my mind without even being aware of it, and I'd like to help you, if you're not opposed to it.”

“I would love that,” Sara smiled. “Although I wanted to talk to you about what to do with the pears. I've been thinking about it and, after we know how many good ones there are, I thought we could bring them to the Jiwe's and the Tomaz's, maybe the Jackson's? Like you did with the apples.”

“Yes, they don't have trees and fruit has become so expensive after the war, I reckon we should do just that.”

“Thank you,” Sara smiled and started to climb the ladder. Ava handed her a bucket and then went to fetch herself a ladder of her own.

They set to work, talking about everything and nothing, about how in love Amaya and Nate were, about how Zari was still pretending to dislike Charlie, about Ava's plan for what she would do as General and what she would like to change as Governor. About Sara's wishes for the future, about her relationship with Laurel.

At lunch time, Ava brought out bread and cheese, and they sat at the shadow of one of the trees, eating and talking about the wether, about how nice it was, the sun was still so warm in mid October. They spoke about the books Ava had chosen for the day and quickly discarded, Sara admitting those were two of her favourites. At that, Ava vowed to read both as soon as possible, wanting to share her opinions with the other woman.

Ava was sitting with her back against the tree and Sara leaned her head on her shoulder while eating one of the pears they had just picked. It was done so casually, and Sara looked so carefree, Ava wished she could have this forever. That she could have Sara forever.

“Sara, I-”

She feared the words that were about to come out of her mouth, and wasn't even quite sure what exactly the words would be, but she was glad for the noise of someone banging on her front door, making them both almost jump.

In a moment, Ava was up and walking around the corner of the house, ready to face whomever was disturbing such a peaceful moment.

“Mr Queen.”

Robert turned, surprise to see Ava outside the house instead of answering the door. He spared a glance to Sara, then tried to contain his anger.

“I need to discuss a most urgent matter with you. A delicate one,” his eyes darted to Sara again and, like with Oliver, she had the urge to step in front of her and tell him off.

“Miss Lance, would you perhaps-”

“If this is about Laurel, I want to know,” Sara whispered, eyes fierce.

“This has nothing to do with you, or your sister,” Robert dismissed, but Sara didn't bulge.

Ava considered for a moment who frightened her more, the man who held the city in his grasp, or the woman whose only power was over her own heart. The answer was clear in her mind.

“Mr Queen, I assure you, as long as you're on my property any conversation we have will be deemed private and none of it will be repeated to any third party, whatever you have to say you can say it here. Well, not here, we're not animals, let us seat in my living room,” she opened the door and let the other two walked ahead of her, before catching up to lead them into the living room and signalling for them to seat wherever they pleased.

Mr Queen seemed reticent and quite displeased, but it seemed the matter was urgent enough he had to agree to Ava's terms.

“Very well, then.” He sat down on one of the couches. “I need you to fire Mr Harper.”

Sara frowned. Roy seemed like a nice man, Jax and Thea had even invited him to their last dinner and he seemed to have gotten along well with everyone. And Sara knew Ava liked him, since he was a hard worker.

“Has he done or said something-” Ava started, sitting down in front of him, on the other couch, beside Sara.

“Has he!” Robert scoffed. “He's come to me asking for my Thea's hand in marriage!”

“Oh, Lord,” Ava muttered. “The boy goes fast.”

“You could say that, they've known each other two weeks! I won't have this. We're nobles, he's- well, he work in construction.”

Ava knew he was about to say “he's poor” as a reason he shouldn't marry Thea. It made her blood boil.

“Well, I'm not sure what I can do about this, Mr Queen. Even if I was to fire him – which I'm _not_, since there's no cause for it – I'm sure that wouldn't quell Thea's desire to marry him.”

“There's always cause,” he scoffed. “He puts a brick wrong on a wall, you say he nearly caused an accident. I'll deal with Thea. If he's fired I can convince her he's a good for nothing man only after my wealth.”

Sara saw Ava's jaw tighten. Mr Queen couldn't be this oblivious to how much he was angering Ava. Honest, just, fair Ava. Asking this of her was the quickest way to ensure she would take a disliking to the matter in no time.

“Mr Queen, I won't lie for you. Mr Harper is an honest man, he will treat your daughter kindly. Oliver will inherit your wealth anyway, won't he? So you have nothing to fear of Mr Harper, I can assure you of that.”

“He will. Not that there haven't been... attempts,” he said glancing to Sara, “about marrying into his wealth as well.”

Ava got up, slowly, but not for that did it looked less threatening.

“I'm sure I don't know what you mean. I'm sure you haven't insulted my Captain's daughter, insinuating Laurel would _ever_-”

He chuckled. “Not Laurel, no. She seems truly taken with him,” his eyes darted to Sara once again as he got up from his seat as well, to not allow Ava to tower over him. “I know everything that happens under my roof. And not all of it would be taken well if it got around.”

“Well then,” Ava stepped to him, voice low and dangerous. “It better not get around.”

“As for your own house, Colonel, nothing that happens in mine is repeated to third parties. I won't take my revenge on my own son's fiancée's family because you won't fire the boy. Why should I, when striking you is so much quicker and effective? Enjoy the money I gave your division this month, _Colonel_ Sharpe. It's the last you'll ever see from the Queen's.”

He didn't spare Sara another glance on his way out.

Ava walked him to the door, shutting it behind him forcefully, before returning to the living room where Sara was still waiting on the couch and closing that door as well, more gently.

“Are you okay? He's such an- such an _idiot_!”

Sara looked at her, getting up from the couch. “It's not true, you know? What he said about me and Oliver, I've told you- you _know_ what happened, _all_ that happened-”

“I've no interest in it,” Ava cut her off, dismissing the concern she could ever believe a word Mr Queen said to her.

Sara's gaze fell on the floor, then she looked up, forcing a smile but with unshed tears shining in her eyes.

“Of course you don't,” she nodded. “Why would you?” Ava had no interest in who she had or hadn't been with, Ava wasn't interested in that part of her life at all.

As soon as she realized her mistake, Ava stepped to her, taking Sara's hand gently in her own.

“Are you in love with him? Now, today, are you still in love-”

“No, of course not.” Sara was quite sure it hadn't even _ever_ been love.

“Then I've no interest in it, because your past is your own. I don't like that he acts like you owe him something, I don't like what he's done to Laurel and I've admittedly made no effort to hide my dislike of that. But I would never think differently of you because of your past, I don't care what Mr Queen says, my opinion on you is based solely... on _you_,” Ava said, smiling softly, as she tucked a strand of hair behind Sara's ear.

Sara hugged her then, her face tucked on the crook of Ava's neck, her arms around Ava's waist. The taller woman hugged her back after only a second of hesitation, a soothing hand on her back and the other around her shoulders, keeping her close.

She had feared she'd said too much, that Sara would know the dept of her feelings, that it would bother her. But instead, it brought them closer. It made Ava glad she'd opened her heart a little, but it also made it even more apparent to herself that she needed to get her feeling under control, quickly.

“I'm sorry he took away your funds.”

“It's okay. We have enough to finish the school, then he'll come back to demand we build his square. He needs us, as much as he dislikes the notion.”

Sara chuckled, because of course Ava wouldn't be scared of his empty threats.

“Come on. Your pears are waiting, Miss Lance.”

  
  


By the time they had put everything away into the shed and Ava went back inside to look at the clock, it was obvious they were running late.

Ava walked back out, lantern in hand, putting on her jacket while walking as she was trying to speed things along.

“I really have to get a new pocket watch, I'm so terribly sorry I hadn't realized how late it was. We need to hurry or you will be late to your dinner.”

Sara put a hand on her arm to slow her down, a tiny smile gracing her lips.

“I've asked to spend the day with you. I declined the invitation when it arrived, because we already had plans. Perhaps we can walk into town tomorrow and bring the pears-”

“Maybe in the afternoon,” Ava said, looking at Sara with something there that would always make Sara's heart pick up its pace. “I was hoping you would want to come with me to the lake, in the morning.”

The shorter woman blinked, then smiled so happily that Ava felt like smiling too, even if she hadn't answered yet.

“Oh, I'd love to! I've never been to the bay. How is it? No, don't tell me, I want to see it for myself!”

She was so excited and happy, Ava thought her own heart would burst with the intensity of her own joy.

“It's set, then. I'll pick you up with Waverider tomorrow morning.”

And so, as they made plan for another day, they started walking toward Sara's home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your support, I love all your comments and if you want to tell me what you think about this story please don't hesitate! <3


	17. The day at the bay

Waverider was happy to go out on their usual Sunday stroll, and, perhaps because of the brisk weather, or perhaps sensing Ava's own giddy happiness, she seemed even perkier than usual.

She had her satchel with food and water, Waverider seemed far more awake than she was feeling, so she decided it would be a good time to leave despite it being still early. When she got to the Lance’s, Sara was already at the end of the house path, waiting for her. She was wearing pants and boots, Ava had never seen her out of a dress before, not even when she had to plant the seeds she had chosen in Ava's garden.

“My mom says it’s not proper but I thought it would be easier for horse riding,” she explained when she noticed Ava looking intently at her while getting closer.

“I think it looks very proper,” she said, realizing too late her sentence made little sense, clearing her voice and willing herself not to blush.

She offered her hand to Sara, moving her foot away from the stirrup so Sara could propel herself up as Ava pulled.

“Are you sure Waverider will be safe, since there's two of us?”

“She's used to have more than one person on her back, sadly. She was with me during the five years I spent away, I would often have to carry wounded soldiers back, or soldiers who’d lost their horses. She’s all good,” Ava reassured her, patting the horse lightly. “In fact she seems quite happy, I sometimes think she must know when it’s Sunday.”

Sara chuckled, and lightly grasped Ava’s waist with her hands as they started moving.

“Your parents weren’t mad I’ve asked you to come with me, were they?”

“No, not at all. Even if they might have been, I think my enthusiasm convinced them it was a good idea before they could say anything.”

It was Ava’s turn to chuckle. Waverider picked up her pace a moment later and Sara held onto Ava just a little tighter.

  
  


The day was splendid, it wasn’t excessively sunny so they would be able to walk around the bay the whole morning, the wind was gentle and the air was fresh. Sara looked overjoyed to be there, surrounded by nature. As Waverider paddled around the shallow water, Sara went to take off her shoes and roll up her pants so she could do the same, giggling at the strange feeling. Ava smiled at the sight and decided to follow her lead, so they started to walk in the water, parallel to the shore.

Time passed quickly as they talked about the books Ava was thinking to read that Sara already had, sharing opinions on authors and treading advices.

Eventually, they walked to a tree, sitting under its shadow.

“It is so peaceful here, I can see why you like it, why you come here often. Away from the chaos of everything else it feels like life’s problems fade away, doesn’t it?”

“It certainly does. The quiet and calm has helped with my nerves. Quite therapeutic.”

“You had nerves? It would be hard to guess, you always seem so calm, in control.”

Ava looked away, eyes skimming the water ahead of them. She looked pensive for a long moment, then she looked down at her own hands.

“Things weren’t always easy. You’ve said you know soldiers. I might not cope with the ghosts by drinking or getting into fights, but that doesn’t mean I’m not familiar with them.”

She felt Sara’s hand make its way into her own in a comforting gesture, squeezing lightly.

“I hope you know you can talk to me about those. Or my father, perhaps he’s more experienced with that. But I’m here and I’m not scared of your past.”

Ava squeezed her hand back, eyes trailing over the water again, not looking at Sara, perhaps not being sure what she would find there.

“You aren’t?”

“No,” Sara said softly. “I _do_ have interest in it, if it still haunts you, but I’ve no interest in judging you for it,” Sara echoed the words Ava had used the day before. “I’m sorry I’ve made the mistake before.”

Ava smiled, turning to her, seeing Sara looking at her with enough care and worry in her eyes to make her believe Sara was being completely honest with her.

“I don’t frighten you?”

“Oh, you do. But not because you’re a soldier. Not because of the reasons I’ve given you, those weren’t- I wasn’t being honest, not to you, nor to myself, about why I didn’t want you to marry my sister.”

Her eyes were bright and honest, so blue and so clear, Ava barely knew what to do with herself.

“When you’re ready to be honest, then,” Ava whispered. “When you’re ready I’ll make sure I’m there to listen.”

Sara smiled and laid her head down on Ava’s shoulder, sitting just a little closer to her, holding her hand just a little tighter.

  
  


In the afternoon soft sun’s and since the wind had stilled, it was easy for Sara to fall asleep without even noticing. When she woke up, her head was on Ava’s thigh, having slid down in her slumber, and one of Ava’s hands was tangled in her hair despite the woman herself being asleep with her back against the tree casting its shadow on them. Sara smiled to herself, grasping Ava’s hand with her own to guide it gently around her own shoulder so that she could hold it as she closed her eyes once more.

She was gently shook awake long after that, Ava whispering to her how late it was getting and that it would be too cold soon.

They collected the few things they had brought and took off on Waverider shortly after, Ava guiding the horse to go faster, making sure Sara’s arms were clutched tightly around her.

  
  


It was already late afternoon when they made it back to Ava’s house, and she offered to deliver the pears herself after walking Sara home.

Sara crossed her arms over her chest and raised her eyebrows, the hint of a smile on her lips.

“I’d like to see how you plan on carrying four buckets with two hands. Show me, I’m beyond curious, Colonel Sharpe.”

Ava’s cheeks became soon tinted of red as she turned to the aforementioned buckets and stared at them, scratching the back of her neck.

“Well, obviously I would...”

“Yes, that’s what I thought you would do as well. Wise idea you’ve had, letting me help you,” Sara walked past her and grabbed two herself, leaving the other two for Ava. “Come now, or you won’t back it back before dark,” Sara cautioned her.

Ava sighed, shaking her head, not being used to be on the receiving end of an order anymore, but still she complied.

  
  


As they planned, they brought one to the Jiwe’s, one to the Tomaz’s and one to the Jackson’s, leaving the forth one to the town’s orphanage. Ava donated food and money to it consistently, but passing by every so often was still a good idea, just to make sure things were going smoothly and there wasn’t any need yet to be met.

After their walk they circled back East and made it to the Lance’s at a decent enough time.

They were lurking around, not ready to say goodbye, when a carriage headed their way made them stand aside. Ava would recognize it anywhere, nobody else in town owned anything like it. She just hoped it wasn’t Robert Queen who was traveling in it, but rather his son, as for the first time in weeks Ava actually would prefer to be in Oliver’s company rather than his father.

As the carriage stopped and Laurel got off followed by Oliver, Ava had to refrain from sighing in relief or rolling her eyes in annoyance. She had to be more patient, she reminded herself. Oliver was trying to change.

“Colonel,” Laurel smiled and Oliver shook her hand. “You’re just now coming back home?” She asked Sara.

“Yes, we went to the bay in the morning, oh it was so beautiful Laurel! The water is so clear and the grass is so green you wouldn’t believe it!”

“Well, we must go then sometime,” Oliver quickly proposed.

Sara’s enthusiasm dimmed a little, but she nodded.

“And then we brought some of Ava’s pears into town, to give to Amaya and Charlie, Zari, and-”

“It’s _Ava_ now, isn’t it?” Laurel raised an eyebrow at her sister.

Sara paused, realizing what she’d said.

“We’re friends,” Ava stepped in. “I’ve asked her to call me that, your sister was nothing but polite.”

Laurel chuckled. “Well as long as she doesn’t offend you. You’re a great friend of our father and we wouldn’t want to be rude to you,” she said to Sara pointedly, as if to encourage her to pay more attention to it.

“It’s quite alright,” Ava assures again. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I should head back before it gets dark. I’ll be seeing you Miss Lance. Miss Lance, Mr Queen.”

As she started walking, she heard Laurel ask why Sara had agreed to call her Ava if the Colonel herself still referred to her as Miss Lance, but Sara rebutted that she called her Sara when it was appropriate to do so, then turned and walked quickly to the front door, no doubt to tell her father all about her day at the bay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know this update is like super early but the only spare time I had today was this morning (for some of you it might be the middle of the night or something, so I hope you all still see this update...) because I'm leaving this afternoon for a short trip. I might not be able to update Thursday so next update might be Sunday, in a week. But all this chapter's fluff is surely going to be enough until then!
> 
> Thank you to everyone who's been commenting: you are my joy and the reason why updates are so steady! Thank you to everyone who's reading and if you want to let me know what you think I'll be elated! Until next week <3


	18. The carriage

Ava had taken on the habit to walk Sara to her front door, as an excuse to spend a few more minutes in her company than she would have otherwise. Most nights, Sara asked if she would like to stay for dinner, but Ava always politely declined, not wanting Dinah or Quentin to get the wrong idea about the kind of relationship she wanted to have with Sara.

Well, not really the wrong idea, because her heart desired nothing more than to pursue her. But she couldn't have what she wanted and she was determined to be happy with what she could have. If they knew Ava was fond of Sara, Dinah would have no doubt asked Quentin to make sure Ava made Sara the same offer she made Laurel, once their older was married. And Ava couldn't be put in that position. She couldn't force Sara into that agreement, not even if it was for her family's benefit.

Of course she wanted the Lance's to be well, but she couldn't marry Sara knowing her heart belonged to someone else. What she knew was Sara didn't want Ava to marry Laurel and had given up Oliver in order to make her sister happy. She had said she wasn't in love with him anymore, but could it really be that simple getting over someone she had gone behind her whole family's back to see?

Her own experience told Ava it couldn't be. Or she would have gotten over her unrequited feelings for the younger Lance already.

And to have Quentin or Dinah doubt the nature of her feelings was so very dangerous, because they would have convinced Sara to agree to an arranged marriage that would have teared Ava's heart apart. She couldn't have Sara's hand knowing she would never have her heart.

“You're quite pensive today,” Sara's voice brought her back to the present.

“Forgive me, I admit I'm not feeling very talkative today.”

Sara smiled and placed her hand on Ava's elbow, hugging her arm when Ava extended it for her to hang onto better.

“I do not mind, this is quite nice. But if something's troubling you and you wanted to talk to me about it...”

Ava wished she could, but what could she say to her that wouldn't jeopardize their friendship? It was already so precarious, it was Wednesday and it had only been ten days since Sara had admitted to not wanting Ava to marry Laurel. Ava knew Sara didn't mean a lot of the things she had said, she knew something was holding her back, but she couldn't help but think it might have been her feelings for Mr Queen that weren't letting her share with Ava the whole truth.

Whatever the reason might be for her distrust of Ava, she didn't want to risk their blossoming friendship in order to find out.

“The thing on my mind is... complicated.”

Just as she was trying to find a way out of the topic, a carriage passed them by, making them both turn their heads, since the road only led to the Sharpe's and the Heywood's and it was neither of theirs.

They heard someone from inside shouting an order and a moment later the horses stopped. The door opened and a woman stepped out, turning to them immediately and started walking in their direction.

“Nora?”

“Well, I was going to surprise you with a house visit but I see you're still adverse to resting. What are you doing walking around after a day at work?”

As soon as they were close enough, Nora leapt into Ava's arms, letting Ava spin her around before setting her back down on the ground.

“You look absolutely awful, is your maid still burning everything she cooks? Look at your arms, you're all muscles and not much more!”

“But her muscles are quite defined, so I wouldn't call that nothing,” Sara chuckled.

“Ah, that they are,” Nora's eyes travelled down. “Yes, you don't look too shabby actually. The uniform has always been kind on you.”

“You look beautiful as always and especially radiant,” Ava said, a broad smile that made something inside Sara's stomach twist the wrong way. “Nora this is Sara Lance,” she put a hand on Sara's back, turning to look at her while making the introduction. “Miss Lance, this is my dear friend, Eleanor Darhk.”

“A pleasure,” Nora smiled, shaking her hand.

Sara returned the smile politely and saw Nora squint her eyes slightly at the name.

“She's my Captain's daughter,” Ava explained as the reason her name sounded familiar, “I was walking her home.”

Nora nodded in understanding, but still doubtful.

“Wait, what are you doing here? Not that I'm not ecstatic to see you,” Ava asked.

“Well, you seemed quite distraught in your last letter, I don't think I've ever heard you so anguished about someone disliking your character as- _ah_,” Nora made the connection then. The name, it was from Ava's last letter. Sara. She was the girl, the girl from before the war, the one Ava had reconnected with and immediately grew apart from quickly after. “And your promotion is in a week, I wanted to be here,” she quickly changed the subject. “My father is faring better so I thought I'd drop by. Ray is with me, obviously, but he's stopped at the Queen's for a brief visit.”

“What a pleasant surprise, I really don't know how to thank you. Wait! You have to come to our dinner this Saturday,” she proposed, turning to Sara, then back to Nora. “Nate is hosting it, he's quite fond of Mr Palmer, you both should come so I could introduce you to everyone else.”

“Ray Palmer?! The richest man in the State is-”

“My husband, yes,” Nora nodded. “My father wasn't fond of his too honest heart but he closed an eye when faced with his wealth. As for me, I've just foolishly fell in love with the man.”

Sara chuckled. “Well, there is no arguing with your own heart.”

Ava thought that no, certainly there wasn't.

“I'll stop by Nate's tomorrow to tell him you're in town, he'll be delighted.”

“Well then, this was pleasant but I see you were walking Miss Lance home and I should probably go save Ray from the Queen's, so why don't we just catch up tomorrow after you're done with work? I can come by your house.”

“It would be lovely, I'll see you tomorrow.”

Ava walked Sara to her door, neither of them making conversation as they went.

“Well, goodni-”

“How fond are you of Mrs Darhk?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“I just meant... you wanted to court Laurel, so I thought perhaps you... favour a certain type of company?”

“If you're trying to ask if I fancy women, then yes, that would be a fair assumption. If you're trying to ask if I fancy Nora, a _married_ woman, the answer is a firm no. I never did, even before she met Ray. She's a dear friend of mine, nothing less, nothing more.”

“That was awfully rude, wasn't it?”

“Yes,” Ava smiled to herself. “But I've never minded before, Sara, I won't start minding now. You can ask whatever you like and I'll answer you at the best of my knowledge.”

“So there was no one? All the time you've been away-”

“I didn't say _that_,” Ava amended. “Goodnight, Miss Lance.”

“Goodnight, Ava.”

  
  


Sara didn't go to Ava's house on Thursday, wanting to give her the chance to properly catch up with Nora. Ava appreciated the sentient, but she was still quite disappointed not to see Sara waiting for her as she was returning home from work.

How domestic the sentiment was, and how foolish.

She and Nora talked about her father, about politics and about the Queen's, how they stopped their founding of the city's activities after a quarrel between Mr Queen and herself. Then they talked about Ava's future and if she would consider moving upstate if elected. They discussed Ray and Nora's thought about starting to add to their family, with Ava demanding she be made the child's God-mother.

After they'd talked about everything else, the name constantly running through Ava's mind finally was spoken aloud.

“So, Sara Lance.”

“What about her?”

“She's the girl, isn't she? From before. The one you've told me about all those years ago?”

Ava sighed, looking around as they kept strolling through the yard. “So she is.”

“You've always been sweet on her. I don't understand it, God knows I didn't when you didn't pursue Miss Smoak and I certainly don't now.”

“Not with this again,” Ava shook her head. “Miss Smoak and I were only ever friends.”

“She was fond of you!”

Ava shook her head again and said nothing to that. “I'm not sure I understand it myself.”

“And in your letter, you said she disliked you. You seemed quite comfortable with each other yesterday.”

“That was a misunderstanding. She won't say why, but she didn't want me to marry her sister and had given up someone she was fond of to ensure I wouldn't. I thought she was just getting back at me for keeping her from him rather than really believe some thing she's said.”

“She didn't want you to marry her sister?” Nora raised an eyebrow at that.

“Can you blame her? Look at the soldiers she knows, her father used to drink, Rip still does, you know what Major Heywood was like with Nate. Merlyn's a mad man and your father-”

“Quite the demon, if I say so myself.”

“How many people you know who came back from the front without being utterly broken? Without being so damaged they kept hurting the people they loved the most?” Ava asked rhetorically.

“Exactly one,” Nora whispered. “But perhaps she simply doesn't let people get close enough to her for them to get hurt.”

“_You_ are close to me,” Ava scoffed.

“So I stand by what I said. Exactly one.”

They kept walking in silence after that, both lost in their own thoughts, both of them content with the pause in the conversation.

“There is one thing I've neglected to mention,” Nora broke the silence eventually.

Ava stopped and turned to her, suspicious already.

“Someone else wanted to come to see you being appointed General and I couldn't find a reason to deny,” she explained, “so Miss Smoak has come with us. She was with Ray at the Queen's yesterday, but Nate has extended his invite to her for Saturday and she's dying to see you again.”

Ava had to admit her heart fluttered at the prospect.

“It will be a pleasure to see her again. I've missed her greatly.”

Nora smiled to herself, quite happy with the answer she got.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know what you're thinking and YES there will be some angst but NO it is not the angst you think!! But something is definitely going DOWN soon so be READY! (Can you tell I'm getting more and more excited for this story? I hope you are as well!)
> 
> Back from the trip so next update will be soon!


	19. Nate's dinner

As Saturday came, Ava settled on wearing her black formal jacket with golden details, and let her hair down. She wore light grey pants with it, the best pair she had from her uniforms, one she didn't usually wear to work so it wouldn't be ruined like the rest.

She felt silly walking to the Lance's only to head back East to Nate's house, so close to her own, but she had assumed she would be heading there with Sara, despite not having seen her Thursday nor Friday, therefore having made no plans with her.

Despite making it to the end of the path starting from the house, Ava found herself pausing, not sure if it was a good idea to show up unannounced after all. She stalled and debated with herself, trying to make up her mind before time made it up for her.

As it turned out, she was too late for that, as Sara closed the door behind herself and started marching to her with a determination in her step that could only announce her annoyance.

“You're late. I thought you'd forgotten about me.”

“I could never! If anything, you haven't been by in days, I wasn't sure you'd want me to pick you up.”

“I was trying to let you catch up with your friends, I wanted to be _polite_!”

“Catching up with my friends would never mean I do not wish to see you as often, Sara. And I'm sorry I'm a bit late, I wasn't sure I was doing the proper thing since we didn't have an agreement about me coming here.”

“I'd always want you to pick me up!” Sara scoffed.

“Well, great, I'd always want to pick you up! I'm not sure I understand why you sound upset.”

“I'm not,” Sara said, still sounding rather upset. “I'm quite happy to see you, I've missed you.”

Ava smiled, taking a step toward her, taking her hand and placing it around her own arm, bringing Sara closer to herself. “I've quite missed you as well,” she whispered, as she started to lead Sara down the road to the East.

  
  


As they arrived at Nate's house, Amaya immediately walked to them and thanked them for being early – which was ironic since Sara had seen Ava's extreme punctuality as being late compared to her usual being early for anything – because the only people there were Zari and Charlie and they had been bickering the whole time.

Nate had been apparently setting everything ready to have some music playing in the enormous dance room his mother had had built inside the mansion, so they could have a different night than the usual dinner.

As he returned with Ray by his side, Ava saw the two women walking behind them and she broke into a smile as she met Felicity's eyes across the room. The woman all but ran to her, flinging herself into Ava's arms. There was something different from the way Nora had hugged her, Sara noticed. Felicity was confident and familiar with how Ava's arms would tighten against her own form; Sara would bet her sprouts they'd hugged before multiple times.

“Hi,” Felicity murmured after a few long moments, when she took a step back from her. “It's good to see you, Ava.”

“You as well. Although, I'm afraid I might have ruined your hair,” she tucked a strand of hair behind Felicity's hear, trying to restore her hairstyle to its former perfection.

Felicity smiled, ducking her head. Sara was now perfectly sure she hadn't been imagining things, something was going on between the two of them. Or it had, in the past.

“Hello,” Sara interrupted the long gaze the two were exchanging. “Sara Lance,” she introduced herself, extending her hand.

“Felicity Smoak,” she shook it with her own. “I worked with Ava, during the war. I was in charge of building and maintaining the gear along with Mr Palmer.”

“It's a pleasure, Miss Smoak.”

Amaya, who was no fool and had a better idea of what was going on than probably either Sara or Felicity or even Ava, decided to step in and start to make the rest of the introductions before something odd or impolite could be said.

  
  


Ava and Felicity started talking and catching up, but Sara didn't really have the time to overhear or witness any of it, because she had been steered away by Amaya and Charlie and had gone help set everything up for the evening.

When she returned, Ava was talking to Behrad, Nora and Ray, while Felicity was nowhere to be seen. As she neared them, she caught sight of her on the opposite side of the room, talking to Oliver, who appeared to have arrived in the meantime. As he saw Sara, he immediately stepped closer to Felicity, putting a hand on her arm.

The gesture made Sara cringe internally.

As the evening went on, after they had dinner, Sara found herself watching as Ava and Felicity danced together, laughing about something Ava had whispered to her.

“They could have been good for each other,” Nora's voice made her turn to her left, she blushed lightly, knowing she had been caught staring. “Both of them lost much to the war. And Miss Smoak has always been sweet on Ava.”

Sara felt, in that moment, realization struck her like lightening. _She_ was why. Felicity was why Ava had forgotten all about her. She must have met her soon after she enlisted and she must have loved her so dearly it erased Sara completely from her mind.

“Yes, Ava seems quite taken with her as well.”

Nora hummed, then chuckled. “No, the Colonel has never thought about such matters. Certainly not during the war. She was so set on winning and returning home, she never thought about Miss Smoak like that. She still insists Felicity doesn't fancy her, if you can believe it. I suppose... it was never really possible to steal her heart. She had always kept it locked away for something she was always quite sure she could never have.”

Sara frowned, opening her mouth to ask Nora to explain further, but Ray interrupted them to ask Nora if she would have liked to dance. Nora smiled at Sara, then took her husband's hand and let him lead her away.

Sara was still deep in thought when she saw Ava walk to her.

“Care to dance, Miss Lance?”

She wanted to be mad, Ava had barely spoken to her all night if Felicity wasn't involved in the conversation. She wanted to be petty and jealous about it, but she had no right to be. She had no right to act out as she felt. Instead, she took Ava's hand and nodded.

“You've left poor Miss Smoak alone?”

“We've barely spent any time together. I know I see you almost everyday, but I- I wanted to ask you to dance.”

“Well, you just had the one dance with Miss Smoak, don't you want to dance with Nora, or Zari, or-”

“Not really, no. And I saw you haven't danced at all, so I thought I'd ask.”

“Oh. That's because I've said no to anyone who asked me to, I wasn't really feeling up for it.”

Ava paused, but then kept leading her around the dance floor.

“I'm sorry, then. If you want to stop...”

“I've said yes to you haven't I?”

Ava smiled to herself and held Sara closer, their cheeks almost touching. As they spun around Sara saw Felicity dance with Oliver. She wasn't happy Laurel had decided to skip this one dinner.

“Miss Smoak seems to have taken a shining to Mr Queen,” Sara observed drily.

“Ah, yes, I've seen them talk before. They met yesterday when Ray and Felicity visited the Queen's.”

“Aren't you upset? He took Laurel before you could even get to know her and now he's stealing her away from you as well.”

“I did not feel entitled to your sister, nor do I feel entitled to Felicity, therefore he cannot steal them from me. They're not property Sara, and it rattles me that he sometimes seems to see them as such. And I'm not fond of either of them the way he seems to be.”

Sara leaned back just enough to look up into Ava's eyes, the movement making the dance even more intimate. For a moment, Sara's lungs failed her and she didn't seem to be able to remember how to properly breathe.

Ava's eyes were so open and honest, and her hands were so gentle on her body, guiding her without force. Sara had never felt safer than she did right then, in Ava's arms.

“It's still an odd coincidence. That he seems to pursue the women you're fond of.”

The rest of the room, of the world perhaps, had faded away into nothingness, and the only thing to exist was them, swaying slightly, searching each other's eyes. Ava's hand on her waist rose up to graze Sara's shoulder blade in a tender gesture, an almost-hug, or rather the closest thing they could have while dancing. The hand went back to the proper place almost immediately, but it was still enough to captivate Sara even more.

“There's only one woman I'm fond of, although I've been quite scared she might favour him over me.”

Sara leaned closer, about to ask Ava if she meant that, is she was actually talking about Sara or if she was imagining it completely, or perhaps she was opening her mouth to ask Ava to lead her away from the crowded room, from the house, and to someplace they could talk properly, finally, about this thing they'd been dancing around.

But the music was interrupted and Nate asked them to gather back at the table for dessert. The moment was broken and gone, and as Ava politely smiled to her and headed back to her place, Sara was left with the sureness she had imagined it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The dance scene I promised is delivered! I hope you enjoyed it, they said quite a lot (for their standars anyway)... let me know what you thought!


	20. The kiss

Ava felt so stupid, for what she had admitted to Sara. She could've ruined everything by running her stupid mouth. Luckily, they were interrupted, and Ava hoped Sara's politeness would dissuade her from asking about what exactly she had meant by that. So her hopes were slim.

Behrad and Zari were the first to leave, asking the Jiwe twins if they wanted to walk back downtown together. Then, Tommy and Thea took the Queen's carriage back, as Oliver was nowhere to be found at the time. They thought, perhaps, he had already left. Ava and Nate had been intent on discussing politics with Ray, whom apparently wanted in on Ava's political career and made plans to meet the following day to discuss matters further. Noticing how late it was, Ava knew it was time to walk Sara back.

To her delightfulness, she had been talking to and laughing with Nora, and the two seemed to be old friends by the time Ava and Ray walked back to them.

“I'm so terribly sorry, Miss Lance, I lost track of time. Shall we?”

“No bother at all, Mrs Darhk and I were talking about why she has kept her name and the way Mr Palmer has proposed to her.”

Ava chuckled. “Ah, yes. Quite the romantic story.”

Ray shifted his weight from foot to foot, knowing it was a bit of an embarrassing tale.

“We should go as well, but we've made plans for tomorrow,” Ray told Nora, offering his hand.

They said goodbye to Nate and headed to the front door. To their surprise, Amaya and Charlie were coming back in. Nate was surprised to see them as well, so this wasn't some elaborate plan to see Amaya again.

“What happened?”

“Well,” Charlie started, eyes darting to Sara, then to Ava. “We saw Mr Merlyn and Miss Queen take the carriage to head West, then we started walking to town. We took the shortcut around the house, you have to go over the fence but it's quicker,” she explained for Ray and Nora's benefit.

“Yes, if you go to the right side of the mansion and cut through the grass it's a lot faster, although a bit improper,” he shot a look at Charlie, despite fully knowing this had probably been Zari's idea.

“Well, we found Mr Queen,” Amaya admitted. “Behrad and Zari are keeping an eye on things until we get back, hoping he won't notice their presence in the meantime. We thought it best someone close to Miss Smoak was there to explain the situation to her, we didn't want to embarrass her. They were just talking, mind you, but it hardly seemed appropriate from where we stood.”

Ava was out the door before Amaya could even finish the sentence, the rest of the group was quick to follow her.

It was clear why they had turned the corner to the left side of the house, as it was secluded and far enough from the entrance nobody exiting would hear their voices.

As they came into view, Ava saw Felicity with her back against the wall, Mr Queen too close to her to be appropriate, but otherwise not doing anything improper. Zari and Behrad had returned to the front, as not to invade the privacy they shouldn't have had in the first place, but followed quickly when Ava turned the corner with no qualms.

Suddenly, his face was surging forward, and before any of them had the chance to do anything about it, he kissed Felicity right on the lips.

Ava froze for two seconds, then kept walking to them, decision in every step she took. He noticed her when she was about twenty yards from him, stepping back immediately, stumbling back a little as his fist came up when Ava came to close.

Nate and Behrad immediately surged forward, while Ray went to hold Nora back, she was already trying to get to the man herself.

Ava stopped in front of him, glancing down at his fist with disdain for the gesture.

“While I so wish you'd throw the first punch, Mr Queen, I'd advise you to put your hands down before you end up tarnishing your family's and your own reputation.”

He thought about it for a split second, then he saw the two men behind her and he decided a fight wouldn't do him any favours.

“You're going to the Lance's, first thing on Monday morning,” she ordered, low and commanding, but by then everyone else was close enough to hear perfectly fine. “You'll tell Laurel what happened with you and Miss Smoak.”

“Who's Laurel?” Felicity asked, her eyes going from Ava to Oliver. “Who's-” Nora walked to her quickly, hands on her shoulder a moment later, steering her away from the two of them.

“He's engaged,” Ava spat out. “To my Captain's daughter.”

As she took another step to him, he took a step back.

“First thing, Monday morning.”

“Why would I do that?” He almost scoffed.

Ava wished she had let him start a brawl for a second, but the instinct to punch him square on the jaw faded quickly as the anger and sadness raised in her chest. Sara was there. Sara, who had to watch him choose her sister and then kiss another woman after they got engaged.

“Because all her friends are here, Mr Queen. Tell her. Before she finds out from someone else,” she told him, stepping sideways so he could see a good part of their friends were in fact standing right behind Ava.

As his eyes set on Sara, he ducked his head and started walking fast away from Nate's house.

Ava turned to Behrad, asking him to take his sister and the Jiwe's and go, then she turned to Nora, asking she took Felicity on Ray's carriage. When she turned to Sara, she had her arms wrapped around herself, looking anguished as Ava had ever seen her.

“Are you okay?”

“I'm fine,” she said, not meeting her eyes.

“Perhaps we should take Miss Lance home on our way to town,” Ray offered. “Quite the eventful night, you both must be awfully tired.”

“Yes, that's perhaps for the best, so Miss Lance won't have to walk,” Ava agreed. “They'll have you back in two minutes,” Ava told her softly, her hand quickly touching Sara's arm in what she hoped was a reassuring manner.

“Thank you. For standing up to him. And thank you for offering the ride, Mr Palmer,” she said, only glancing at Ava briefly before heading to the carriage Nora and Felicity were already on.

“Make sure she makes it inside okay, will you?” Ava asked Ray, quiet and worried, but Sara heard her despite that.

  
  


The following morning, Ava walked back to the Heywood's to meet with Nate and Ray, so they could discuss politics and her future in it.

To her surprise, Nora wanted to not only participate in the discussion, but also pledge her support as the current Governor's daughter. Things were starting to look up, until they slipped into the topic of what had happened the previous night. As they talked about the Queen's, Nate explained what had been happening with Robert in the past few weeks, how Oliver had no hold over Ava's mouth anymore, now that he wasn't financing her projects anymore. Of course, Ava knew this wasn't entirely true. She wouldn't actually be the one to tell Laurel, or anyone, because she knew Mr Queen still had a pretty big hold on her, with his threats about divulging Sara and Oliver's indiscretions.

“Well, that's no matter at all!” Ray looked happy, suddenly overjoyed with the thought. “I'll finance anything you need! Nora and I were talking about coming back to Starling, build our family here, so it would be nice if the city was restored to its glory. Consider anything you have to pay for already paid,” he pledged to Ava, a big smile on his face.

“He's been trying to convince Ava to do something good with his money for years,” Nora explained to Nate. “She wouldn't, because he didn't actually live here, and everything upstate has been fixed with the money from the rest of the State. We can do some good here,” she said, smiling a little to herself, looking at Ava.

“Thank you Ray. And yes, Nora, I believe we can.”

Ava smiled, feeling her heart already a little lighter, now that her problems with fundings were sorted out, and they'd started to make an actual plan for her career after she was made General. Things really were starting to look up.

  
  


It was early afternoon when Ava, deciding to take a walk after her lunch at the Heywood's, found herself knocking on the Lance's door.

“Colonel,” Quentin greeted her with a polite smile. “What can I do for you?”

“Captain Lance, I deeply apologize for coming here unannounced, I was wondering if I could talk to your daughter for a minute. Yesterday was quite the eventful night, and I wanted to make sure she was okay.”

“I saw she came back in the Palmer's carriage, I assumed it was just convenient, since it was on their way.”

Ava had to remind herself she had really no right to feel like she should be the one walking Sara home at night, but she still felt compelled to protest.

“She hardly knows them. I trust them with my life, but if it hadn't been so late and if things had gone smoother, of course I would've walked her myself even if it wasn't _convenient_.”

Quentin was no fool. He knew perfectly well none of it had ever been about convenience for either of them, Ava making the walk every night certainly wasn't, nor was Sara gardening far from her own home. But Ava had been nothing but proper with his daughter, and he was sure nothing was happening between them that it shouldn't. He knew Ava too well to actually be suspicious of something.

“I'll ask if she'll see you.”

“Thank you so much, that would be perfect.”

Ava started pacing, she walked down the steps, then in front of them, nervous she wasn’t sure what about exactly.

When Sara walked out she took care of shutting the door behind herself and, instead of inviting Ava in, she descended the front steps as well so they could talk outside.

Ava stopped pacing and looked at her, relieved Sara had decided to see her, albeit she didn’t know why she would even doubt she would.

“Hi.” Immediately, she regretted the silly greeting. “I meant, good afternoon, Miss Lance.”

“Good afternoon,” Sara was polite, but she wasn’t quite herself, her eyes downcast and her tone serious.

“I know I’ve done this before and I’m disheartened I keep making this same mistake, but I’ve come to apologize.” That made Sara’s eyes snap up. “I’m sorry if I frightened you.”

“What?” Sara’s arms untangled and she took a step forward so she was closer to Ava. “No, no! You haven’t. At all!”

“Then, what-“ Ava wasn’t sure how to ask it or even what exactly she was going to ask, but Sara seemed to get it anyway, because her eyes were suddenly downcast again. It was Ava’s turn to take a step forward, so they were standing almost toe to toe.

“You were upset. Rightly so. For what he did. I thought perhaps you would be mad at me as well. I was in Miss Smoak’s place not that long ago.”

Ava shook her head, frowning at the words as they came out of Sara’s mouth.

“You might have noticed, I was never upset with Felicity,” she said, taking Sara’s hand in hers. “He’s the one cheating, Sara. Why would I be upset with her, or you? I’ve told you before, I’ve no interest in what happened,” she continued, her voice a whisper. “But if I did, I would say it’s a rather different thing. Oliver and Laurel weren’t even courting then, were they? He hadn’t spoken with you father, had he made any promises to her?”

Sara shook her head. “No. Just to me,” she rolled her eyes. “Not sincere ones, of course. Ones that he thought would get him what he wanted.”

“Well then, you arguably did anything improper, if what you told me was all that happened. And what happened last night is very different, they’re engaged and he didn’t even tell Felicity. That is why I was upset with him, not with her and not with you.”

Sara hugged her then, on the front yard of her own home, she melted into her arms completely and everyone who looked out a window from inside the house would see her into Ava’s arms, resting her head on Ava’s chest. Ava knew she shouldn’t, that it wasn’t proper, but she hugged her back.

“It seems to me that if you told your sister it would be for your peace of mind rather than because you did something awful. But I understand why you want to protect her from something you put a stop to and relegated firmly in the past,” Ava whispered.

“Thank you. For understanding.”

They separated, Sara stepping back to put some proper distance between them, albeit not much.

“Of course. And I’m sorry you had to see them, the situation had to be handled perhaps a little more discretely.”

Sara looked confused for a moment. “I don’t care. In fact, I’m glad I did, because if he doesn’t tell Laurel I will.”

Ava nodded, smiling encouragingly at the determination in Sara’s eyes.

Inside the house, Quentin caught up with Dinah in the living room, walking to her as she stood at the window.

“Quit snooping,” he said. Then hesitated for a moment, before joining her at the window. “What are they talking about?”

“Who knows, but I’ve never seen Sara being so... _gentle_ with someone else.”

They watched on as Ava said something, taking Sara’s hand and Sara jumped into her arms to hug her. After the slightest hesitation, the Colonel hugged her back.

“Oh my, our child has found herself in quite the predicament,” Dinah murmured. “The girl has actually fell in love with the Colonel.”

“So it seems,” Quentin agreed, despite having known that for a while. He was a lot more interested in something he was noticing for the first time: the Colonel almost seemed like she was in love with his daughter back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, that title was a low blow :p
> 
> Hope you're enjoying the story, the next few chapters will be A Ride! Let me know what you thought!


	21. Hard conversations

Sara didn’t know what she wanted to do on Monday morning but one thing she knew for sure: she didn’t want to be home if Oliver came. She headed into town, set on finding a gift for Ava to celebrate her promotion. She didn’t want to buy something else for Waverider, she needed this gift to be for the woman herself. It was when she was walking by the West’s shop that she remembered something Ava had told her days before about needing a new pocket watch.

While Iris West had the best jewellery and trinkets shop in town, half of it was now occupied by her husband’s counter. Barry Allen sold the most beautiful and precise watches Sara had ever set her eyes on, and it would be an amazing gift for a General.

As she walked in, Iris greeted her enthusiastically, knowing that despite not going often, the Lance’s would only buy such things from them.

“Good morning, Miss Lance! What can I do for you today?”

“Mrs West-Allen, good morning. I’m actually here for your husband’s side of business. I’m looking for a pocket watch.”

“Certainly,” Barry smiled, gesturing to the glass counter with the watches. “For you or as a gift?”

“As a gift,” she smiled. “Can you keep a secret for two days?” Sara whispered, leaning closer to the married couple. They both nodded dutifully. “Well, I have it on good authority the Colonel is getting a promotion and I wanted to get her a new pocket watch, I think her last one broke.”

“Ah, yes. It was her father’s, she brought it in but it couldn’t be fixed. She said she would be back to pick another one, but hasn’t been by.”

“Well, then you know what she might like?” Sara asked hopefully.

“Certainly, we can pick one that would be perfect for our Colonel!” Barry said enthusiastically, starting to look around for the perfect watch to gift Ava Sharpe.

  
  


Sara got back home just in time for lunch, eating in her mother’s company. She informed Sara that Laurel had gone out on a stroll with Oliver and had still to be back. As they ate lunch Sara helped clean everything away. With every passing minute she was starting to feel worse and worse about what might have been happening, about how Laurel was, and circled back around to ask herself if he had even told her what had happened in the first place.

She ended up tending to the garden just so she could have something to do while waiting, until a few moments into watering the plants out back she heard the front door slam shut.

She hurried back inside, heading for Laurel’s room, with sudden dread enveloping her heart. What if Oliver not only told her the truth about the previous night, but shared more than they had agreed on? What if Laurel was upset with her as well?

She found her mother sitting beside Laurel on her sister’s bed, gently patting her back as her sister cried her heart out.

“And he... he said they kissed. He doesn’t even know her! And all my friends saw it, mom! It’s awful, what am I going to do?!”

Dinah tried to comfort her, and as she looked over her shoulder and saw Sara outside her room, not looking surprised in the slightest, she immediately realized what had happened.

“Sara, were you there?”

“He had to be the one to tell her,” she answered instead, when Laurel looked up at her. “It wasn’t my place, and Ava ordered him to come here first thing today and come clean.”

“The Colonel knows, too?” Laurel turned to her mom, looking at her with pleading eyes.

“She was defending you,” Sara said. “She was the one to confront him, she was just a moment too late to stop it but she tried.”

“See? The Colonel doesn’t think any less of you, she knows he’s the one in the wrong,” Dinah tried to comfort her. “I’m sure we can fix this, sweetheart. People will know he’s in the wrong, just as the Colonel did.”

Laurel’s tears subsided for a moment. “You think so? Do you think she still thinks well of me?”

Sara felt her heart hammer in her chest at the question. She had a sense of what Laurel was asking, even though it was quite strange of her to ask so shortly after she had discovered Oliver’s betrayal, and it didn't sit well with Sara.

Guilt spread in her chest, mixed with sadness and anguish. She didn’t know what to do, but she knew she had to do something. She couldn’t look at her sister being so distraught and do nothing. Seeing Laurel cry about Oliver kissing someone else, even if it wasn’t Sara herself he’d kissed, only reminded her of her own betrayal.

She walked the East road feeling something gnawing at her stomach, something awful. She knew Ava probably wouldn’t even be home yet, but she couldn’t stop herself from going there.

When she arrived it was late in the afternoon, she knocked on the door half expecting it to go unanswered. But of course Gary was there.

“Miss Lance.”

“Mr Green, is Colonel Sharpe home?”

“She is, they finished early today and she came back about half an hour ago. Let me show you in,” he offered, letting her pass. “She’s in the study, I’ll announce you.”

She stood there, in front of a closed door, waiting. It was the longest moment of her life, some time between a minute and a decade passed before the door opened again, Ava peeking out instead of Gary.

“Miss Lance. Come in, please,” she invited Sara softly to join her, waiting for Gary to step out and then closing the door again behind him. “What can I do for you?”

Sara suddenly stopped, watching as Ava sat back behind the desk, gesturing for her to sit on the chair in front of it.

“You wear glasses,” she noticed, glancing down at the book Ava was reading. It was one of the books Sara had suggested to her.

“To read, yes,” Ava took them off, blushing slightly and letting them fall on top of the open book.

“Oliver told Laurel about the kiss. With Felicity.”

“Good,” Ava commented curtly. There was no other alternative in her mind.

“Laurel seems awfully preoccupied about what you thought of the matter, and of her.”

The Colonel seemed confused, so she reasoned about what Sara was telling her and why. It didn’t take too long for her to figure out what Sara was thinking that could mean.

Ava hummed, getting up from her chair, pacing the length of her study. It was hard to come to a definite conclusion about Sara’s position on the matter, because a nagging thought was clear in her mind: if Laurel married someone else, Sara could marry Oliver, her older sister would be wed and Mr Queen would be free. Yet, Sara had told her multiple times in no uncertain manners she had never wanted Laurel to marry Ava. Furthermore, she had said she didn’t love him any longer, and Ava had believed her.

“If you’re here to ask me not to pursue Laurel again, you needn’t to. I think highly of your sister, but I won’t ask to court her.”

Sara got up as well, turning to face Ava directly. She was sure she had left her house to beg Ava not to, to plead with her not to court her sister because Sara’s own heart would be completely shuttered, unrepairable forever. But now, standing in front of probably the best person she knew, Sara felt the weight of something she had took from Laurel. Something Sara had denied her just to have it for herself. How unfair, since Ava would never decide to court her just because Laurel was taken, and surely she wouldn’t now that Laurel wasn’t, proper as she'd always been.

She couldn’t make that same mistake a second time. She couldn't take this from Laurel again.

“You should.”

Ava felt the air being sucked out of her lungs. “What?”

“I should have never asked Oliver to propose to her. I- I took you from her, like I’ve taken him.”

“That is simply ridiculous,” Ava stated. “For one, I’m not Mr Queen. Whatever happened between you two I won’t have it compared to what you and I have,” her voice was firm and perhaps even annoyed. “I was never inappropriate, maybe sometimes I’ve been improper in our friendship but that is all I’ve asked of you without ever pressuring you.”

Sara wanted to rebut Ava only sought friendship because of the nature of her affection for Sara, but it was still true, so she stayed silent.

“And secondly, it was simply not possible for you to take me from her,” Ava explained like it was obvious. “Because I was never hers.”

Sara wanted to scream at her why, then, why she had never wanted Sara if her heart wasn’t taken, but she knew the answer. Nora gave it to her before she even knew the question: Ava had locked her heart away long before.

Ava sighed, looking at her like she wasn’t quite sure what to make of Sara’s request.

“Moreover, Sara, even if I were to marry your sister, Quentin would never let you marry Oliver after what he’s done.”

“I don’t want Oliver!”

“Then I don’t understand why you would ask this of me.”

“Because she’s distraught. And I’ve been so happy,” she confessed, looking rather guilty, “and I want her to be as happy as you’ve made me without even trying, she deserves it.”

Ava sighed again. “Regardless, I cannot do it,” her voice was soft albeit firm. “I know in my heart I wouldn’t have gone through with it even if she hadn’t been spoken for. To marry someone I’m not in love with would be disheartening. You know I would go to great lengths to make you happy but, I’m sorry, this I simply cannot do.”

Sara’s lip quivered and she suddenly felt like crying. Ava was quick to hold her in her arms, whispering that everything would work out, that Laurel would be okay eventually. Sara didn’t know how to tell her she was crying because the only thing that would actually make her happy, she couldn’t have.

  
  


Sara opened her eyes, noticing it was almost dusk. She looked around the room and realized she had fallen asleep on one of the couches in Ava’s living room. In the exertion of her cry she must’ve failed to notice Ava moving her to the other room and shortly after she must’ve fallen asleep. As she got up and looked out the window, she could see Ava watering their plants with extreme care, the soft light from the dusked sky making her look even more gorgeous than she always did.

And then Sara knew, undoubtedly, she would forever be irrevocably in love with Ava Sharpe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. At last, Sara is finally fully aware of her own feelings, so cheers.  
2\. Next chapter is a game changer, I hope you're ready!!!
> 
> Thoughts?


	22. The pocket watch

The day Ava was made General was the day Autumn truly felt like it might have soon left its place to the Winter. It was dusk so early in the afternoon that when she walked out of the building they held the ceremony in the sun was already disappearing on the horizon.

It had been, of course, a day filled with happiness. Her mind kept going back to the day before, to how Sara had cried in her arms, then fell asleep as Ava held her. How could the girl ask her to love another? Ava had been clear about her feelings, or so she thought. She’d told Sara there was only one woman she would want to pursue and made clear she wasn’t fond of Laurel in that way. Sara had to know by now. And Ava was oddly okay with it, she didn’t mind it like she thought she would, because she wasn’t ashamed of it. It was okay that Sara would never love her back, because Ava would never ask that of her.

She walked home that night, the new grades on her uniform, feeling particularly confident things would work out fine. Maybe not perfectly, but she would be okay.

As she got home, Sara was sitting on her front steps, waiting patiently for her.

“Miss Lance.”

Sara got up as Ava stopped in front of her, extending her arms, a package in her hands.

“I got you something yesterday, but I didn’t know if the ceremony was private or if you would want me there, I know my father was. Also, I apologize for how I behaved yesterday, I should have never cried in your company.”

Ava paused, looking down at the package. “You got me a gift?”

“Yes. For making General.”

“You shouldn’t have. Thank you, you’re very kind. And you know it’s nonsense, you can cry with me or laugh or scream and I won’t think that what you’re feeling, or how you're expressing it, is silly.”

Sara didn’t know what she could say to that, so she shoved the package in Ava’s hands. As she opened it to reveal the silver pocket watch, a slow smile spread on her lips.

“It’s not much similar to your father’s, Barry said. But it has a landscape carved on it, with trees and a horse and I think perhaps this is supposed to be water. It reminded me of you and the bay.”

“Sara, I love it. It’s perfect.”

She opened it and saw the clock on the right, it was empty on the left with a glass case, for a photograph or a note to be put there. Ava already knew whose notes she would like to have with her at all times, but a request seemed too odd.

“I don’t know how to thank you, it really is perfect.”

“I’m glad I haven’t overstepped.”

“You haven’t. You could never. Would you-“ she stopped, looking down at the clock itself. “It is quite early but it’s already almost dusk, I was about to invite you in but I should probably walk you home.”

“It would be the proper thing to do, I suppose,” Sara said. “How was the ceremony?” She asked as they started walking.

“Unnecessary and tedious. But the result is what matters to me, so I’ll endure it as long as it takes me one step closer to where I need to be,” Ava answered as she hooked the clock’s chain to her jacket and put it in its inside pocket.

As soon as her hands weren’t moving anymore, she offered her elbow to Sara, who took it with a smile.

“Soon it’ll be too cold to make the walk as often,” Ava assessed.

“I shall think quickly about another excuse to see you, then.”

Ava bit her lip, trying not to smile too much. She failed miserably.

  
  


“General,” the door opened just as Ava was wishing Sara goodnight, Quentin peeking out. “I was ordered by my wife to invite you in for dinner as she’s done so many times before, but my instructions are not to take no for an answer, since it’s imperative we celebrate your promotion.”

“Oh, I couldn’t impose.”

“Please?” Sara asked, with en expression that Quentin could only describe as battling her eyelashes at the woman. As she saw Ava was about to refuse again, she added, “It would make me very happy.”

And immediately, Ava wasn’t as inclined to say no. Quentin almost scolded the General for the softness she couldn’t conceal from his own daughter.

“Well, if it would make you happy.”

Sara beamed, raising on her tip toes to kiss Ava’s cheek quickly, before heading to tell her mother Ava would stay.

Her skin tingled where Sara has kissed her and something inside her chest twisted the wrong way.

She met Quentin’s eyes and felt herself blush slightly.

“I hope you know I would never-“

“I know,” he smiled. “She can be quite difficult to say no to.”

“That she is,” Ava conceded. “That she is.”

Dinner went as smoothly as it could with Dinah trying to be as polite and charming as she possibly could, whilst Ava was being nervous and awkward, her own charm still there but a little off. Laurel was nice to her, commenting on how dapper her uniform looked, Ava answering it was the uniform she used for ceremonies or dinners and didn’t bring to work. She was polite to a fault, not protesting Dinah and Laurel’s questions, and enduring the world's most boring tale Dinah told them about how she had broken her best big bowl the previous week.

“Are you going back to the school tomorrow?”

“Yes, just for the morning. The Palmer’s are heading off on Thursday morning and I’ve invited them to dinner tomorrow before they leave, so I’ll be back home early to get everything ready.”

“The Palmer’s? My, you have friends in high places,” Dinah commented.

“Well, Mrs Darhk has taken quite a shine to your daughter, so now she has them as well,” Ava smiled at Sara. “Speaking of, she’s asked if you’ll stop by tomorrow so you can say your goodbyes.”

“And stay for dinner?” Dinah didn’t sound too happy.

“Oh, well, I didn’t-”

“I’m not a child, I can have dinner out with my friends, mother.”

“On a week night?”

“Yes, on a week night! Whenever I wish to do so, in fact.”

“Sweetheart, let her breathe a little,” Quentin encouraged. “You coddle her too much.”

“Fine then, if she wishes so.”

“I do,” Sara insisted.

Ava thought it best not to say she had only meant for Sara to stop by and wouldn’t dare invite her to dinner in her own house, but at that point it seemed to late to say anything, so she smiled politely and just accepted the fact Sara would have dinner with them the following day.

  
  


The Palmer’s last evening in town was a happy one, but tinted with a slight sadness. They enjoyed themselves, and the couple promised to visit again soon, but it still seemed so final. Sara had never liked goodbyes.

As Ray and Nate were pestering Ava with a thousand questions about her campaign, Nora and Sara ended up talking again, about this and that.

Eventually, Nora noticed a moment when, as Sara looked at Ava, the General looked back. Their eyes met and Ava smiled. Nora had learned the hard way there were some things in life you could never get over.

“Such a shame, really,” she whispered, almost distractedly, making Sara’s head turn to her. “I’ve told you she’s always had her heart locked away. It wasn’t perfectly accurate, I suppose,” Nora explained.

Sara looked more and more confused as Nora talked, not understanding what she had seen or heard that prompted the topic.

“Her own heart, hasn’t quite been her own for a long time. She’s given it to someone before the war and never quite managed to get it back. She never had eyes for anyone else. Quite a shame, really, that you forgot all about her, because she's never had anyone else on her mind. All these years, it's always been you, only you. The girl from before the war.”

Sara felt like, suddenly, time had stopped completely, everything stood still for a split second and then her whole world came crushing down on her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as I said in the previous chapter's notes: gamechanger. Thoughts about what Nora's words actually mean and/or what Sara's reaction might be?
> 
> Next up: What Really Happened Way Back When


	23. The promise

Sara had never ventured East. She was barely allowed to go into town on her own, let alone walk such a scarcely travelled path. She was only fifteen, after all, even though she would turn sixteen quite soon.

That day, after a particularly strong squabble with her sister, Sara had decided to walk off the anger she felt, heading East as Laurel headed for the road that lead into town. Laurel knew she had fancied Oliver Queen briefly, the previous year, before he told her in no uncertain terms she was too young for him, but she had still be far too glad to announce to Sara that Oliver had asked her over for tea.

She knew Laurel was only doing it to unnerve Sara, but it still worked.

As she walked up the road, her anger started to slowly fade. Even if Oliver was too old for her, that wasn't even the point. He was nineteen, not ninety. They would be the proper age for each other soon, and Laurel knew the advantage wouldn't last forever, but Sara barely cared. Oliver was nice, but he was spoilt and entitled. Sara only wanted him if it would make Laurel regret how she always treated Sara, nothing more.

Furthermore, she would turn sixteen soon, and she wanted to experience something more than a crush. She wanted to open up her heart for someone who would treat her well and fall in love with her, someone kind. Someone Sara would fall in love with effortlessly, completely. Someone so charming Sara could barely be able to stand it.

That was the moment she saw the girl, sitting on a nearby low wall not three feet tall. The girl herself was stunning. Sara was sure she'd never seen her before, hair like wheat and eyes like the sea, lineaments soft. She was looking down South past the withered fields, at the battlefields in the distance.

Sara approached her carefully, slowly, sitting down a few feet from her, feet on the side of the street, while the girl's legs were thrown over the other side.

“Hello. I've never seen you before, are you not from around here?”

The girl startled a little, so lost in her own thoughts.

“Good morning. I'm from further East, I don't come into town often, I don't think I've ever seen you either.”

“I'm Sara.”

She hesitated, then extended her hand for Sara to shake. “Ava.”

“What are you doing here?”

Ava pointed with her chin to the lands she was staring at. “They've almost reached the city. We might be at war, soon.”

Sara followed her gaze, nodding pensively. “My father is a soldier, he came back to the city when he made Captain, but if the front backs more he'll be called back to fight.”

“Terrible business, this war. I'll leave for it in a month, when I'm eighteen. I have a horse I don't need here, so it makes sense that I go.”

“A horse is no reason to leave for war! You're eighteen, and a girl, you don't have to fight if you don't want to.”

The girl thought about it, then shrugged. “I have nothing here. No close family, the one I do have I dislike.”

“There must be someone, someone you could stay for. At the very least, someone you could come back for.”

“Not really. There are people I love here but they can go on without me just fine, I'll make sure they'd be properly set if something were to happen to me there.”

“But don't you have things you wish to do?” Sara pressed on. “You're my age! Don't you want to study? Or, fall in love! Have a family, a husband.”

“I'm not really the husband kind.”

“A wife then,” Sara said without missing a beat. “Someone to come home to. Someone to miss you when you're gone.”

“I have nobody like that and I know so few people I doubt I could ever be missed so deeply. I don't even know someone I could love like that.”

The girl – Ava – looked so resigned to these truths, she was looking at the war like something that could save her. Sara had seen that look before, and it never lead to good things.

“But there, I could do so much there,” Ava continued. “I could save so many lives. Even if I saved one, it would still be a life I changed. I don't know how else to make a difference.”

Sara kept looking at her, something like dread mixed with wistfulness started growing in her chest, something too big for someone so young to understand.

“My father left when he was eighteen. It was another war, a small battle up North. My mother was so scared he'd die, she made him promise they would get married as soon as he came back. He stayed away for ten months, she thought he'd never come back at all. Then, one day, the war ended and back he came. They were wiser, so they courted for a while, but eventually they got married, just like they said they would.”

Ava smiled a little at the story, it was the first real one Sara had seen on her, and it made her heart flutter in her chest.

“If you leave, I shall miss you everyday you're gone. So you'll know someone does.”

That made Ava chuckle, and Sara found herself smiling as well.

“You can't just decide to miss me.”

“I just did!”

“Well, you can't. And I wouldn't want you to, it would make you sad. With a smile like yours, you should never be anything short of happy.”

Sara blushed, and smiled again despite the cheesiness of the words.

“But if you came back, it would make me happy.”

“Would it?”

“Very much. If you came back from the war to me, it would make me the happiest person in the world.”

“If I came back _to_ you?”

“Yes, if you came back to me, if you came back so I could love you like you're scared nobody would. So you could fall in love with me so deeply it would make your heart beat out of your chest,” Sara explained.

“You sound perhaps a little full of yourself,” the girl teased her.

“I'm not! I'm simply delightful and fierce, so it would make sense for you to fall in love with me. And you seem too kind for me not to love you back.”

Ava kept looking at her, a small, incredulous smile on her lips, and a sparkle in her eyes Sara was quite sure wasn't there before.

“If I came back to you, and I courted you,” Ava started, “if we fell in love and got married, would that make you happy?”

“It would. So very much so.”

“Then it's what I shall do.”

  
  


They stayed and talked until the day turned into evening and Sara had to head back to her own house.

Ava bid her goodbye with a kiss on her hand and Sara had giggled at the gesture, returning a kiss to Ava's cheek. It had been innocent, if slightly impolite. It had been perfect, in Sara's mind.

She knew they wouldn't see each other for a long time, but Sara wasn't desperate and sad, she was excited to have something so precious to look forward to.

Everyday, every single day to come, she kept her promise. She missed Ava and wished she could see her soon, wished for the war to end so she could be back. Everyday she missed her. And soon the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months, as the war got crueler and bloodier and tales of a new Captain started to spread. A kind one. A great one. The months turned into years and the Captain was made Colonel and eventually was sent back home.

“_She would have thrived in it_,” Major Heywood had said, and Sara had thought she should stay clear of the Colonel.

It was three days later, walking through the market with her father, that Sara saw the girl again. Ava, the girl who would come back for her. She looked older, five years had passed, but Sara was sure it was her.

“That's the Colonel,” Quentin explained when he saw Sara looking at her.

“The Colonel? The one Major Heywood was saying would be sent back soon?”

“That's right. Colonel Sharpe.”

When her eyes met Ava's, something was stirred inside of her. She saw her nod and wave to her father and Quentin nodded back. She stepped toward where they were standing and Sara turned her eyes away, hoping she hadn't recognized her, and walked away as quick as her feet would carry her without breaking into a run.

It was hard for her to reconcile the idea of Ava, the girl who'd come back for her, with the idea of Colonel Sharpe, the woman who would thrive in a war. Yet, there she was, one and the same. Colonel Ava Sharpe. Someone Sara didn't know at all, and yet felt like she would never be able to give up.

She wasn't sure what she would do when Ava came looking for her, when she came to see Sara again, to court her perhaps. But the days started passing by again and Ava never showed, so Sara resigned herself to the notion that the girl she had missed terribly for the whole time she had been gone, had forgotten all about her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... thoughts?


	24. The bowl

When Ray had offered to bring her home via carriage, Sara had been quick to accept. She had fallen silent after Nora's words and hadn't been able to look into Ava's eyes for the rest of the evening. Once she was finally home, she closed herself in her room, trying to think properly.

Ava remembered her promise.

She remembered.

But she hadn't kept it, she had come back but not for Sara. Nora said Ava had only had room in her mind and in her heart for her, for the girl from before the war, for all the years she'd been gone. What changed her mind, then?

Did she see Sara after coming back and decided she wasn't pretty enough? Hardly believable, Ava wasn't that shallow.

Did she wait for the right chance to speak to her and, after a whole year, when she finally did so, didn't like what Sara was like? Hurtful, but more probable.

Sara had been a jerk to her, pretending she didn't know who Ava was, then accusing her of following her around, going as far as admitting she had never wanted Ava to marry her sister, giving as the reason for such behaviour the fact that Ava was a soldier.

No wonder Ava wanted nothing to do with her. She had behaved like a brat.

Still, she made a promise and didn't keep it. Sara would rather be upset with her than feel like a fool for having been the one who ruined her own chance with Ava. And why not say anything! Why at least don't give Sara an explanation of sorts? Why act so polite if she remembered Sara being so brazen?

She tried to sleep, to stop thinking about the General, but sleep just wouldn't come to her.

The more she thought about her own foolishness, about her rudeness, about Ava seeing her with Oliver, the more anger rose in herself. Because, if Ava had kept her promise and had came to greet Sara when she was sent back, none of it would have happened. None of the mistakes, the miscommunications, even her own silliness could have been spared.

But could she really blame Ava for everything? Wasn't she the one who had broken their promise first? Nora had told her, Ava had never thought about anyone else that way. Could Sara honestly say the same? She had kissed Oliver, twice. One time when she was nineteen, long before Ava came back, and one after she already had. Maybe Ava had been right not to pursue her. Just because she had promised to do so, didn't mean it was the right thing to do.

  
  


Anger and sadness had been alternating and battling for days in her mind as she made her way into town on Saturday to head to the tavern. She was exceptionally early, on the pretence she would like to help set up, but really only trying to avoid walking alone with Ava.

Zari had come to help as well, but she ended up bickering with Charlie the whole time, so Sara and Amaya had to actually do most of the work.

Ava had the nerve to arrive perfectly on time and with Laurel walking barely two feet from her, they had obviously walked there together. Sara was livid.

The moment Ava saw her, everything else stopped. The smile on her face went from polite to genuine and her eyes lit up, she excused herself quickly to go greet Sara. For a second, Sara thought about that day at the market and entertained the idea of running away without looking back, but there was nowhere to run from behind the tavern's counter.

“Good evening, Miss Lance. I've missed you the past few days.”

Sara barely glanced up before going back to cleaning the spotless counter.

“I didn't feel like making the walk.”

Ava was taken aback by the curtness of Sara's answer but she tried not to read too much into it. If only she had done so and walked away from the conversation at that point in time, perhaps things would have gone a lot more smoothly.

“Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Weren't you feeling alright?”

“I'm perfectly fine, thank you. It's just that sometimes, Ava, I would rather for you to be the one who actually comes back to me. But I guess that's too much to ask of you.”

As Sara threw the cloth down on the counter and walked away from Ava, the General was left there staring at the spot Sara had been a moment before, with no clue of what was actually going on.

“What has gotten into her?” Zari murmured, patting Ava's back as she sat down beside her.

“I- well, I'm not entirely sure,” Ava frowned, utterly confused.

Ava kept a respectful distance for the rest of the evening, even as it became more and more apparent Sara was actively avoiding her, talking to her sister and her other friends instead. At the end of the night, she asked Sara when she would like to head home, but Sara just told her Nate would walk her and Laurel home, like he had been perfectly able to do before Ava came along, insisting if Ava was tired she could head back.

As she looked down at her watch, noticing the time, she knew perhaps it would be best if she followed Sara's advice. Her walk home was filled with confusion and dread, not knowing what to expect from the days to come.

  
  


Sunday morning, while helping her mother with lunch, Sara noticed a new bowl in the cupboard, replacing one her mother had broken the former week.

“When did you buy this?” Sara asked, admiring the beauty of it.

Dinah looked at what Sara was pointing at, and chuckled. “I didn't. It's a gift from the General, my story must've made an impression because she remembered and gifted us a new one. She stopped by to leave it yesterday when she came to pick you up. Since you had left already, Laurel walked with her.”

“She stopped just to leave the bowl?” Sara asked, confused.

“No, darling. She stopped to see you, but you had already left.”

Ava had stopped by to see her. Ava had gone to pick her up even if they hadn't made plans. How awfully presumptuous of her. How horribly kind.

She pushed the bowl back and shut the cupboard, covering her eyes with one hand. If only the memories in her mind could be covered as easily as the trinkets in front of her eyes.

  
  


She headed to the Sharpe's land on Monday, set on avoiding Ava a little longer. It was too early in the afternoon for her to be home, but the drop in temperatures allowed her to water the plants even if it was still sunny outside. Soon, the lettuce would be ready for reaping.

She was just finishing up, when she turned to see someone approach the house. It was so early, what was Ava doing home so soon? Nate was walking behind her, trying to catch up to her, gesturing wildly. Ava was shaking her head, she stopped and told him something that must've been quite final, because Nate turned and headed down the path to his own house.

“You had a fight with your cousin?” Sara asked curtly when she saw Ava stopping to stare at her when she realized Sara was there.

“He wants to announce that I'm running. We won't until the news about Darhk's health are made public, I've told him a million times.”

“Mh,” Sara hummed, going back to her plants.

There were a few silent moments, Ava was standing there, shifting her weight from one foot to the other without actually taking a step. It was making Sara nervous, the uncertain energy radiating off of Ava in waves.

“So, here I am,” Ava sighed, opening her arms and letting them fall back a second later.

“Well, it's your house, so that is not as surprising as you make it sound.”

“I didn't want it to be at yours, I thought you wanted to perhaps have this discussion privately, so I've come back to you, like you asked. Early enough that we can talk before you have to head back home.”

Sara finally looked at her. Ava had come home early to make sure they could have a chance to see each other, even after Sara had been such an asshole to her. It made her furious.

“No, thank you. I shall head home on my own soon, so it's not dark.”

She went back to tending to the flowers and Ava just stood there, soaking in the answer she was given.

“Have I offended you? At the dinner on Wednesday, perhaps, or maybe Tuesday at your home? Or was it something that happened on the days we haven't seen each other? Whatever it is, if you just tell me what happened-”

“You already know what happened!” Sara accused. “But you've spent so long pretending you forgot that maybe now you cannot actually remember,” she scolded, finishing the last row and picking up the watering cans she had used.

“Sara please, I have no idea what you're talking about,” Ava called after her.

Sara marched to the shed and Ava knew, she was acutely aware, that the polite thing to do would be stop pressuring Sara, stop asking her and wait for Sara to decide to talk to her about what was going on in her own time.

But Ava was so tired of waiting, of the doubts that filled her mind every time she and Sara were apart for even a day.

She could barely stand this distance anymore.

Making up her mind, she followed Sara into the shed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, that was the worst point to cut off the chapter but the wait will be worth it! Thoughts?


	25. The shed

Sara put away the watering cans and then turned to head out and head home, when Ava marched into the shed.

The thing was barely twenty feet large and even shorter than that in the other direction. Between the tools and an old table there wasn't much space inside it at all.

Ava stepped to her, looking into Sara's eyes, pleading with her silently for any kind of answer.

“Whatever I did to upset you so much, I hope you know I never wanted to hurt you. I want to make it better, if I can, if you tell me-”

“Why do you care?” Sara asked harshly. “Why do you care that I'm upset?”

“Because I care about you,” she said like it was supposed to be obvious. “Because you mean the world to me, Sara.”

“Do I?” Sara's eyes were shining.

“Yes, of course! Don't you know? I've said so, I've told you there is only one woman I'm fond of, how can you not know?”

“Then why didn't you keep your promise?!”

Sara felt her anger return full force as she took a step closer to Ava, swatting her arm so lightly it wasn't likely to do anything other than confuse Ava even more.

“I still don't know what you're talking about.”

“Nora told me!” Sara swatted her arm again. “That you remembered about me, that you wanted to come home to me, and you didn't! She said that I've been the only woman you've thought about when you were away, the girl from before the war,” she quoted Nora verbatim. “But you haven't kept your promise, so why?” Her eyes started to feel teary, and Ava finally looked like she at least had a clue about what was going on. “Am I not pretty enough now that you've seen how I grew up? Am I not polite enough, not quiet enough?”

As another movement of Sara's hand was heading for her arm, Ava caught Sara's elbows in her hands, bringing her closer to herself so she would stop hitting her for just a moment, maybe long enough to listen to her.

“But I did. Oh, I've waited for nothing else for _years_! I only knew your name and didn't know whom to ask, but just a few days after being back, I saw you again,” Ava smiled so sadly, so defeatedly, Sara was the one to suddenly feel lost. “You were at the market, with your father. I felt my heart dance in my chest. You were there and there was no war, no miles between us. I almost ran to you like a child, I felt so overjoyed.”

Ava let go of her elbow, moving her hand away from Sara now that she had her attention, not wanting to harm her even by accident.

“Of course I did come back to you. Our eyes met and I waved at you. You turned, couldn't get away fast enough. It didn't make sense, because even if you forgot about me, I thought it was odd you reacted that way. And for a year I've thought about greeting you, but every time I tried you seemed to want to avoid me. It didn't make sense to me, at all, until you've told me you didn't want a soldier to court your sister, that you didn't trust me. Then I knew, even if you remembered, it wouldn't matter, because you could never love me back.”

Sara let her talk, listening carefully, and once she was done she kept being quiet. After a moment of silence, she swatted Ava's arm again.

“You're such an _idiot_!”

“I know,” Ava caught her forearm, this time.

“You uncle said- he said that thing about you thriving in war, when I saw you that time I- I didn't know you were her, that you were the Colonel everyone was talking about. I got scared for a moment, overwhelmed. But if you'd tried again-”

“I did.”

“If you'd tried again, then perhaps... if I haven't made it easy for you to approach me that wasn't intentional.”

“I couldn't have known that.”

“And then you wanted to court my _sister_!”

“Rip and Nate wanted that, not me. I was happy to discover she was spoken for, remember?”

“Well, you should've said no!” Sara swatted her other arm, prompting Ava to catch her other forearm. “And you thought I was scared of you?! You wouldn't hurt a fly! I wasn't scared of you, I didn't want you to marry my sister because it would have broken my heart, you fool!”

“It was never your sister I wanted to marry. Nora was right about that. There's always only been one girl. One woman I wanted to make smile, I wanted to make happy, I wanted to come home to. And I think you and I both know that's always been you, Sara.”

Ava tugged her lightly, so they were toe to toe, Sara's forearms still in Ava's hands as she held them to her own chest. Their proximity combined with Ava's words was enough to knock all the air out of Sara's lungs at once.

“You've asked me to come back to you, and I did. You've asked me to fall in love with you, and I have. So the way I see it, I kept my promise just fine.”

Sara felt like swatting Ava again, but with her arms held tightly against her chest, the only part of Ava she could reach with her hands was her face. So Sara did, taking it firmly between her hands, surging forward and crashing her lips into Ava's.

Her skin was soft below her hands, but her lips were softer. The kiss itself was quick, because the electricity of it soon left place to the knowledge she had surprised Ava with it in a way she shouldn't have. She was kissing _Ava Sharpe_. It was everything she had wanted and dreaded for far too long to make it such a short kiss, but as things were, she couldn't do anything else but relent when Ava leaned back to look into her eyes, hands dropping from Sara's forearms.

Ava looked at her, and Sara opened her mouth, no idea what she was actually going to say, if an apology would come out or perhaps another accusation, but Ava didn't give her the time to actually speak and find out.

Sara felt Ava's hands on her hips, pulling her closer, then Ava's nose brushing against her own. Her hands went back to Ava's cheeks, bringing her closer still, as their lips met once again, tenderly. Arms circled her waist and her own were wrapped around Ava's shoulders.

The kiss itself was gentle, almost hesitant. Ava's touch was strong but not forceful, and everything about her was captivating, from the way her hair felt on Sara's fingers to the way Ava's frame felt against her own.

It couldn't have lasted more than a few seconds because, too soon, Ava was leaning back, regret mixed with joy in her eyes.

“I'm sorry, it wasn't appropriate of me to-”

“Kiss me back? How awfully rude it would have been if you hadn't,” Sara challenged, stepping into Ava's embrace again, hiding her face against her neck as Ava's arms held her close. “Do not take this back.”

“I won't. I couldn't. But I am sorry that I haven't done what you asked. That I- I was too scared to pursue you then.”

“Perhaps it was always meant to happen this way. We were always meant to be friends first. So that when we finally would have this, it would be perfect. And I would be exactly where I was always meant to be.”

“In a... tool shed?”

“In your arms. At long last.”

Ava felt herself melt a little, she held Sara closer and turned her head to kiss Sara's cheek, content with finally being able to do so with no fear.

  
  


They kept stealing glances at each other as they walked, Sara's hand on Ava's elbow, hugging her arm.

“May I see you tomorrow?” Ava asked, as they approached the Lance's front door.

“I'll come by to water the plants,” Sara nodded.

“And the day after that?”

“Yes,” Sara promised. “You will see me tomorrow and the day after that and-”

The front door opened, cutting Sara off, as Quentin exited the house, a displeased look on his face, stopping when he saw them coming in the opposite direction.

“Good, you're home. Your mother insisted I came looking for you, since you left early and weren't back yet. I told her it was unnecessary.”

“It took longer than I thought, so I had Ava walk me home,” Sara explained, turning to her quickly, whispering a goodbye before heading inside.

“_Ava_?” Quentin asked, the ghost of a smile on his lips.

“We spend so much time together, General Sharpe sounds both too patronizing and too long, so I've asked Sara to call me Ava. I hope that is okay.”

“Of course it is. And, you know, I'm happy you two have become such good friends. You've been a good influence on her.”

Ava smiled, nodding. “Thank you, sir. I shall head home. Give my best to your wife and daughter, please.”

Quentin nodded, watching her go as he wandered how long it would take for her to figure out his younger daughter fancied her so much everyone else could see it from a mile away.

  
  


Tuesday, Ava didn't stay longer than her men to finish tasks or plan ahead, she headed home as soon as she could do so. She walked home fast, using the energy she had felt buzzing through herself the whole day.

As promised, Sara had returned to water the plants, but everything was already done by the time Ava got home, despite her being so earlier than usual.

She felt a little disappointed they would get to spend together only the time of the walk, but as soon as Sara saw her and smiled, Ava felt like even a minute with that woman would be worth waiting the whole day for.

Ava walked to her, sitting down next to Sara, against one of the apple trees.

“May I walk you home even if there's still light outside?” She asked once Sara had settled against her shoulder.

“I was hoping we could let it become dark before we head out. It's so peaceful here. Not quite like the bay, but it's still far enough away from town to be perfect.”

“I feel like anywhere with you would be peaceful to me,” Ava whispered.

Sara leaned back and looked up into her eyes, one hand caressing Ava's cheek. Any worry that the previous day had been nothing but a wishful dream vanished, as Sara kissed her lips gently, although briefly, a radiant smile on her face.

“We could go again, on Sunday, if it's not too cold. We could go to the bay,” Ava suggested.

“I would love to,” came the enthusiastic reply.

Yes, it was very peaceful there indeed.

  
  


“So, I will see you tomorrow?”

“Yes, and the day after that,” Sara kissed her cheek, then hurried inside the house, leaving Ava to smile to herself like a fool.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... thoughts?


	26. The jacket

Ava decided to stop by the tavern on her lunch break, so she could talk to Amaya. As it happened, Zari must've had the same idea, because they ran into each other just outside the front door. When they walked in, the place wasn't really crowded, so they decided to have lunch together at the counter so they could talk to the twins.

“So, what was going on with you and Sara on Saturday?” Zari asked as they sat down together.

“Ah, I wouldn't know,” Ava lied. “I only understand about one out of ten of the things Miss Lance does, let alone why she does them.”

“Yes, she can be quite confusing. Haven't you seen her yesterday? Or on Monday?”

“I did, she came by the house for the plants and she seemed to act completely normal, as far as I could tell.”

“Mh. Odd,” Zari said, squinting her eyes at Ava. She said odd but they both knew what she meant was “suspicious”.

“Speaking of the plants, she told Amaya and Nate she would like for her friends to see them, show off her attitude for the garden,” Ava tried to quickly change the topic. “I was planning on asking, if you haven't decided already, if perhaps you would have liked to have dinner at my house this Saturday.”

Zari raised an eyebrow at that, but didn't comment on it until Amaya and Charlie joined their conversation.

“Ava wanted to host a dinner, on Saturday,” she told Amaya.

“Ah, yes, I was wondering when that would happen.”

“Because Sara asked her to.”

“Yes, I remember, I was there when she did,” Amaya confirmed.

“Mh,” Charlie seemed pensive for a second. “So she asked once and you decided to have, what, a dozen people over for dinner?”

“Sara said it would make her happy, so Ava agreed. Leave her alone, it's a nice gesture,” Amaya defended her friend.

“Ah, well, if it would make Sara happy,” Zari snorted, not at all fooled.

“So, may I?” Ava tried to get the conversation back on track. “Host the dinner?”

“Well, sure. Me, Charlie and Sara usually handle invitations,” Zari let her know, “While Amaya, Jax and Laurel deal with the food and Nate thinks about beverages. We all chip in when it's at the tavern or at our place, but the Queen's have their catering so they usually do it themselves, whilst the Lance's won't let us pay when they host.”

“Okay, would you rather I got catering as well, so you won't have to plan it?”

“No, cooking together it's half the fun!” Amaya protested. “But you can help, I've heard you're a wonderful cook.”

Ava hummed. “Could you make a list of everything we need? I'll pick it up tomorrow and get everything by Saturday.”

“We can take care of that, bring everything over when we come to set it up,” Amaya waved her off, smiling.

“But I will pay for it, obviously. Please. Since I haven't helped the other times.”

“Weren't you the one to set everything up at Sara's house when all of us were busy? And didn't you pay half of the catering of Nate's, insisting you had invited over your own friends?” Zari asked rhetorically.

“And haven't you only been to, what, three of these?”

“Well, I would still prefer it if you let me cover the cost. Or, I could always call for catering and spare you my awful cooking.”

Her friends laughed and Ava smiled, glad her request hadn't been denied.

  
  


When Ava arrived home, Sara was finishing up and starting to put everything away. Ava hurried to help her with the tools, asking her if she wasn't feeling cold, not wearing a coat outside. It was starting to be rather crispy around sundown.

“General Sharpe, are you inviting me inside?”

“What? No,” Ava felt her cheeks burn up. “I-” she cleared her voice, when she saw Sara was smiling at her mischievously, teasing her.

Ava proceeded to take off her uniform's jacket, wrapping it around Sara's shoulder.

“There, so you won't be cold,” she said. Her breath got caught in her lungs when, while fixing the jacket by its lapels, she caught Sara's eyes looking up at her in undisguised adoration.

“What if I was still a little cold?” Sara asked, feeling anything but. Wearing Ava's jacket was making her feel like her body was catching fire.

“Then perhaps we _should_ go inside, have a cup of tea,” Ava suggested, rubbing her arms as to pass her some heat. “And when you're feeling warmer I could walk you.”

Sara nodded, letting Ava walk her into her house and to the kitchen. They chatted with Mona as they waited for the tea, then she excused herself and left the two of them alone. As they drank the hot beverage, Sara dared to take Ava's hand in hers, feeling elated when Ava let her.

When it was time to go, Sara felt perhaps a bit disappointed to see Ava put her own jacket back on, but a minute later, standing at the door, Ava fetched from the hanger a clean one for Sara to wear, one she hadn't worn all day.

“I've stopped by the tavern today,” Ava told her as they walked, feeling suddenly nervous. “On my lunch break. I asked if I could host Saturday's dinner at my house.”

“You did?” Sara tugged on her arm to make her stop.

“Well, you said it would make you happy. Have I overstepped?”

“No, I would be so delighted. But I wouldn't want to impose.”

“Nonsense. They're my friends, too. And that house is too big to always be so empty.”

“You know, you've said before. But, except for the Palmer's, you haven't really had anyone over since I've known you.”

Ava hummed. “I suppose that's true. I don't really have that many friends, or family. Zari's is the closest I have,” Ava admitted.

“Well, then Saturday will be good. Zari and Behrad will be delighted.”

Ava smiled, feeling relieved Sara wasn't upset she hadn't discussed it with her beforehand.

They reached the Lance's front door, Sara slipping off the army coat to hand it back to Ava, after briefly holding it in her hands just to feel its warmth a moment longer. Ava took it with the hand that wasn't holding up her lantern with.

“Don't ask,” Sara ordered when she saw Ava opening her mouth. “The answer is yes, you may see me tomorrow. You may see me everyday for as long as you wish.”

Ava somewhat melted at the words. “Do you swear? May I have that in writing and signed, so you won't take it back?”

Sara chuckled, swatting her arm. “Goodnight, General.”

She looked as Sara walked inside, then whispered to herself: “Goodnight, my love,” as she turned and headed back to her own home.

  
  


The following day, she was making her way home when she saw Sara making her way from her front door to the road. She frowned, quickening her pace. Why wasn't Sara at her house?

“Is something wrong?”

“My mother isn't feeling well. Just a headache, but I've been with her all day to make sure it doesn't get worse, since Laurel has been out. I told her I needed some fresh air, just for a few minutes, when I saw you coming up the street.”

“I'm sorry, about your mother. Anything I can do?”

“No, Dr Snow has already seen her when she started having them, it's just fatigue. She'll rest a few days and be good as new.”

“Good, I'm glad,” Ava sighed in relief. “And you're okay?”

“Yes. I just wanted to see you, although briefly, because I promised I would. And because I'd planned on giving you this,” she said, almost timidly, slipping a piece of paper into Ava's hand and looking up at her through her eyelashes.

Ava was sure she was going mad. Her heart would soon beat out of her chest with happiness and her hands will never stop trembling for the joy, because of the casual ways in which Sara had started to touch her now, a brushing of hands, or hugging her arm, even caressing her cheek. Ava wished it could last forever, all her life. Because she didn't think she could ever go back to living without it, now.

She was about to open the note Sara had passed to her or say something else, when they saw Quentin walking back home from work as well. He waved at his daughter and nodded at Ava, coming to a stop a few feet from them.

“Give your mother my best wishes.”

“I will, thank you. Have a pleasant evening.”

“You as well, Miss Lance. Captain Lance,” she smiled at him and walked off.

As soon as she was sure they had turned, she unraveled the little note Sara had given her, dying from curiosity. She had to stop and read it again, to make sure she wasn't imagining things. Her smile was so big she was sure she looked like a fool.

  
  


_You may see me tomorrow, and the day after that, and every other day you wish, for the rest of our lives._

_ – Sara Lance_

  
  


She folded it carefully, slowly, willing for her hands to stop shaking so that she wouldn't ruin it. After it was small enough, she opened and pocket watch and tucked it into the left side of it, behind the small glass case, so she'd always have it with her, inside her coat, close to her heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those f you who asked about their Bay Day... it's not Sunday for them yet! :p Thoughts?


	27. The dining room

Ava woke up early on Saturday, barely able to control her nerves. The dining room, ever since she had returned home, had been the least used room in the whole house.

She had so many memories of a time when her parents were still alive and any kind of relative would get an invitation to supper at some point or another in the year.

Even after her parents died and her aunt came to live with her, they would consume every meal in that enormous room by themselves, as it was proper. Ava despises it, especially how the Tomaz’s would have to eat in another room. As soon as she was fourteen, she started making those kinds of decisions for herself, and her aunt could do nothing but comply. She moved out of the house barely six months later, when it became apparent Ava wasn’t going to marry at eighteen like her aunt wanted her to and most importantly she wasn’t going to marry anyone she wanted her to.

It was the first time since her father passed that Ava felt truly free. Free to do as she pleased and enjoy the things he had taught her, like fencing and horse riding, so much so that she even bought a horse.

Ever since, she would eat with the Tomaz’s in the kitchen, insisting it was pointless to bring everything to the dining room for the five of them when there was a perfectly good table in there as well.

She kept it spotless, of course, not really knowing what else she could have Mona do around her property, she had asked her when she started to clean one or two rooms each day of the week, as it seemed a rather easy amount of work to manage. Mona has always been overzealous, keeping the house spotless, maybe because of her inability to yet cook anything decent, although she was slowly getting there.

So, on Saturday, all Ava had to actually do was move the table to the middle of the room and the chairs that had been set aside to actually be at the table. She had Gary help with the former task, completing the second by herself before lunch.

She was pleased to note Mona, relieved of all other duties on her weekends, had cooked something actually edible and was actually getting quite good at it.

Ava had just started the first few trips to bring dishes and cutlery to the dining room when there was a knock at the door. Being closer than Gary, she went to answer the door herself, thinking how quite early the Jiwe’s were.

“Sara,” Ava smiled out of habit, the name slipping past her lips before she could even think better of it. Sara’s eyes darted to the side and Ava looked past her, opening the door wider. “Miss Lance. Come in, Please,” Ava invited the sisters in promptly.

“We thought we would come by to help you set everything up,” Sara explained.

“Yes, my sister was barely able to contain her enthusiasm during the morning and insisted she had to leave at once as soon as we were ready after lunch,” Laurel teased her.

“Laurel offered to help as well,” Sara explained, as the reason she hadn’t come alone.

“Well, your offer is most definitely appreciated but I’m not quite sure your help is needed.”

“Don’t say you moved everything by yourself,” Sara reprimanded.

Ava hesitated, not quite meeting her eyes. “Gary helped.”

They made their way into the living room, where everything was at its proper place with only the table needing to be set, everything they needed to do so already brought there as well.

As Gary and Mona came into the room with the last few glasses balanced carefully on their hands, Ava realized Laurel had never met them, so she made the introductions and left them to chat as she started to set the table, Sara by her side, helping her.

“Amaya will be here soon. I can finish here if you want to get changed,” Sara whispered after a few minutes. “Not that you don’t look gorgeous in what you’re wearing.”

Ava was caught aback by the compliment, turning to glance at Laurel, making sure she was still distracted by the talking to notice what was going on.

“These are work clothes,” was all Ava found herself saying.

“So?” Sara didn’t look up from the forks in her hand she was setting down next to each plate. “I think you’re always beautiful.”

“I understand the feeling quite well,” Ava whispered, looking at Sara. “Yes, I should go change. I’ll just be a minute.”

She grazed Sara’s hand with her own as she slipped past her and excused herself as she headed upstairs. She put on a new set of pants and vest she had yet to wear, not bothering with the jacket since she wouldn’t be leaving the house.

She let her hair down, letting the waves at the end of it hang freely over her shoulders. Grabbing her watch she tucked it into the vest’s pocket, checking the chain was properly hooked, then she headed back downstairs.

She stopped, mid stairs, when she saw Sara lurking in the hallway, looking at the decorations and at the paintings hanging on the walls.

“That’s my grandfather. Great hunter. Despicable man, I try not to think about him much.”

Sara startled a little, glancing at Ava quickly before setting her eyes back on the painting as the woman approached her. “I often wonder if perhaps all our grandfathers were, and if we will be in our grandchildren’s eyes.”

“Oh, most definitely. That’s progress, isn’t it? We’re complicit in a million awful things we don’t imagine to be wrong. They’ll know better, as for humanity’s greatest accomplishment: evolution.”

Ava stopped beside her, Sara’s shoulder coming into contact with Ava’s arm. She moved slightly so she would be partly behind her, eyes scanning the doorway to make sure they were alone, then she bowed her head, lips close to Sara’s ear, so much so that she closed her eyes, anticipating a touch that never came. Instead, Ava’s hand grasped her arm, squeezing gently, almost as if to hold her steady.

“_Our_ grandchildren, Miss Lance?”

The whisper was enough to make Sara’s eyes open again, immediately realizing what she had said. A moment later, Ava was gone; her hand, her lips, her body, she withdrew completely.

“I suppose? I mean, I _assumed_-“

“You assumed?”

“It’s not unheard of. A lot of women married to other women elect to adopt from their local orphanage, don’t they?”

Ava smiled, still at a respectable distance now that she had taken a step to the side.

“Most definitely. Any specific woman you had in mind, or?”

As she turned to see Ava’s teasing smile, Sara felt compelled to swat her lightly on the stomach with the back of her left hand. Ava, reflexes sharp, caught it and held it against the spot Sara had stricken.

“The hope I’ve been feeling about a future with you has filled my heart with so much joy, perhaps it made me silly. I apologize for joking about such a serious matter, as you know very well there’s only one woman I’m fond of.”

Sara grasped her hand tightly and glanced behind herself, then moved on her tiptoes and kissed Ava’s cheek tenderly.

“You can be silly with me. I find myself charmed by this side of you. I know your true feelings now, I do not mind the jokes.”

Ava felt the knowledge of Sara’s sureness about what they shared to be captivating. She vowed to never make her doubt it ever again, not even for a second.

She leaned closer to Sara, kissing her forehead gently.

“We should go, we're being impolite to your sister.”

“She’s in the kitchen, helping Amaya and Zari. Jax, Behrad and Charlie helped them bring everything she needed and are now snooping around your yard.”

Ava chuckled. “Let us head to the kitchen, then. We should help as well.”

Sara grimaced. “I was enjoying some snooping of my own.”

“And you’re welcome to get back to it,” Ava smiled. “I’ll be in the kitchen when you’re satisfied with the results of your search.”

“Well, I must admit, the thing I was searching for I already found. A moment alone with you.”

Without giving her a chance to reply, Sara tugged her hand as she started walking in the direction of the kitchen.

  
  


The rest of their friends arrived after Ava had already given the few early ones a tour of the yard, including Sara's plants, and of the house. Everything went smoothly, even after Nate, the Queen's, Mr Merlyn and Mr Harper had arrived. Ava was a gracious host, not even flinching when Thea apologized to her about the fact she didn't get an invite for their own dinner, since she was sure she had told Oliver to handle the list and had assumed she would be included in it.

Sara admired her composure, but didn't comment on it, or on the way Ava seemed to subconsciously graze her watch whenever Mr Queen said something aimed at unnerving her.

“You and Ava seemed cozy again,” Zari whispered as they were taking their seats. “Last Saturday you seemed quite annoyed with her.”

“Just a misunderstanding, about something Mrs Darhk said.”

Zari seemed pensive for a moment. “So she got married to a Palmer, but kept her name. Isn't it a bit odd?”

“Perhaps, since his name is so well known.”

“Mh. Like, say, if someone married Ava and didn't take the name Sharpe. Would be quite strange. Do you think the woman who ends up married to her will take her name?”

Sara almost chocked on her water, but managed to play it off as a cough. Zari smirked at the effect the question had, shaking her head at Sara, letting her know she wasn't fooling her best friend in the least.

“I wouldn't know. Perhaps.”

“Yes, perhaps,” Zari tried not to sound too sarcastic, failing miserably.

The rest of the evening went on smoothly and time flew as they started to chat. When the time came everyone started to get home, Sara tried to find any excuse to delay her departure. At first, she said she'd wait for her sister, who was talking to Oliver, when Amaya and Charlie told her they were heading back with Behrad, Jax and Zari. When Tommy said it was time to bring the carriage back, offering a ride to Thea, Roy and Sara herself, she declined for the same reason. Soon, she found herself hoping her sister would keep talking to Oliver for a while longer so she could get a moment alone with Ava, but as soon as Tommy had headed off, Oliver said it was time for them to perhaps start heading out as well, offering to walk them both back.

Sara didn't have the excuse of her sister anymore, but nevertheless she found herself wishing to prolong her stay.

“I should come as well,” Ava stated.

“I'm perfectly capable of escorting them, I'm armed as you are.”

Ava bit the remark about handling said weapon, and instead smiled amicably. “I know, but you understand it wouldn't be polite of me to go back on a word given, in this case to Captain Lance himself. He'll be pleased we both went, I'm sure,” she told him, asking Sara to wait for her for just a moment as she went and fetched her jacket.

Oliver helped Laurel into her coat and she headed outside, needing a moment to think through some of the things he'd told her over the evening, leaving him alone with Sara. He quickly fetched her coat as well, but didn't immediately hold it open for her.

“We should talk, Sara.”

“We've said everything we needed to. I've told you before, a friendship is the only thing we can pursue, and if you can't accept that-”

“Of course I can't! I've talked to Laurel and she seems sad, but her decision bout me seems rather final. Then maybe we, you and I, could-”

“There is no _we_, no you and I, Oliver. If you love Laurel, please do your best to be honest and true to that. If you don't, move on from us both.”

He grasped Sara's forearm. “I can't. Don't you understand how important you are to me?”

She felt the sting of pain start, but then a noise distracted him, making him retreat. Ava walked down the stairs while putting on her jacket, slowing down when she saw Sara and Oliver standing just a few feet from each other. She hurried down when she realized Sara was looking uncomfortable, gesturing for him to pass her the coat in his hands. He did so, walking outside to catch up to Laurel.

She held it open and waited for Sara to step in, before asking softly if she was okay. Sara nodded, turning and immediately grasping Ava's arm with her own, already dreading the thought of letting go before even starting the walk home.


	28. The note

The bay was as peaceful as Sara remembered it to be from their previous visit, a day with Ava in such a peaceful place was exactly what she needed. Even the ride itself, closely hugged to Ava's back, soaking in the sun, had been quite therapeutic. As they arrived, Ava adjusted a ground sheet for them to lie on, even in November the sun was pleasant if they kept their coats under them as not to feel the coldness of the ground.

They had just laid down and Sara had closed her eyes to appreciate the warmness when she felt Ava shift beside her.

“May I hold your hand?”

The request made Sara smile, as she opened her eyes and turned to Ava.

“You don't have to ask,” she reassured, taking Ava's hand that was lying between them.

Ava slid her fingers between Sara's, smiling contently and closing her eyes. She looked at the General for a long moment, struck again with how beautiful and soft she was, this girl who had been through hell and back.

She raised their joined hands, sliding beneath Ava's arm so she could lay her head on Ava's chest, then tugged on her hand so she would hug her around the shoulders.

“The world feels so peaceful when I'm with you,” she sighed.

“It does,” Ava whispered, kissing her forehead.

The silence lasted just a few seconds, before Sara interrupted it again.

“Something in your coat is pocking me. Did you bring a firearm?”

Ava snorted. “Yes, I make a habit out of carrying firearms I then leave laying around,” she rolled her eyes.

Sara got up into a sitting position and started probing around until she found the object that had been sticking into her side. She smiled as she saw Ava's pocket watch.

“You really liked this gift, didn't you?”

“Very much. The person who gave it to me is pretty special.”

“Is she now?” Sara laid back down, laughing softly, her head resting on Ava's arm as she opened the clock and looked up at it. “You've put something inside it!”

Ava tried to reach for it, but Sara held it out of her reach, getting up on her knees and stopping Ava from reaching further by putting a hand on her chest, the other still holding the watch out of her reach.

“Is it a note from your mistress?” Sara teased her, smiling mischievously and faking a look than appeared more elated than anything, sliding a little closer even as she did so.

Ava sat back, letting her weight rest on her hands. “Go on then, open it,” she raised an eyebrow.

Sara just stared at her for a long moment, not knowing if she should actually do so. Ava gently touched her elbow and slid her fingers over Sara's forearm until she reached the watch, taking it from her and unclipping the note, unfolding it and showing it to Sara.

“This is why you were touching it, yesterday, when you got uncomfortable. Not for the watch, but for the note?”

“Yes,” Ava carefully folded it back and put it back inside its case, then closed the watch. “I hope you don't think it's odd. If it bothers you-” as she looked back up after sliding the watch into her pocket, Sara's lips were on hers.

She almost lost her balance and had to catch herself on her right hand, while her left pulled Sara closed by her waist. The hand on her chest pressed harder, until she was laying down on her back, Sara laying half beside her and half on top of her, lips still melded together.

Ava was almost sure she had ascended to a better plane of existence, because kissing Sara was an out of the world experience in itself. Everything about her was perfect, Ava yearned for her, for the way she gently caressed Ava's cheek, or how she smiled every few kisses. It gave Ava the most precious thing she ever knew could exist: to be knowingly happy.

Every other time in her life when she had been content, it passed her by and she barely noticed, because it only felt like it could last or get better. With Sara, despite the knowledge the best had yet to come, every moment was a new high, a new discovery, and Ava felt elated to be on this journey with her. She appreciated every second of it.

As she parted her lips, Sara melted into her, sighing softly, prompting Ava to switch their position until Sara was lying on her back. Almost immediately, she withdrew.

“This isn't why I brought you here.”

“I know,” Sara said casually, using the hand on Ava's cheek to bring her closer to herself again.

Ava complied, kissing her once, twice, then leaning back again.

“I mean it, Sara. We probably shouldn't be doing this.”

Sara pouted, circling Ava's shoulders with her arms, but making no attempts at going against her wishes for a second time.

“Why not? There's nobody here but us, we're not doing anything wrong or scandalous.”

“We're kissing and we're not married or even engaged,” Ava pointed out. “It's not wrong per se, but certainly it is improper.”

“Perhaps. But being a little improper never killed anyone, did it?”

“Well, Miss Lance, we most certainly wouldn't want to risk being the first!” Ava joked, then rolled off of her to lay beside her.

Sara went back to laying with her head on Ava's shoulder.

“Ava?”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“One day, when you think it's proper, will you ask me to marry you?”

Ava looked at her a little baffled at the question. “Was I planning to be in love with you for the rest of my life and did I think what you meant yesterday was that we're meant to have children and grandchildren together out of wedlock? Yes, sure, I think your father would be ecstatic about that, don't you?”

“Stop,” Sara swatted her chest lightly. “I'm serious, Ava. You know I-” she stopped, then smiled a little to herself. “Oh. I guess I haven't said it, have I? But you must know I'm in love with you.”

“You are?” Ava sounded out of breath, like someone had punched her in the gut.

“Of course I am. I've told you when we were younger, you're too kind for me not to love you back. Being loved by you, it would have been enough to make me fall right back, even if you hadn't been so brave and smart, so loyal and fierce. I fell in love with you before I knew you loved me, yes, but even if I hadn't, just the fact someone as kind and gentle as you loves me would have been enough for me to love you right back.”

Ava turned slowly, until Sara was on her back and she was leaning close, one of her hands supporting her weight and the other caressing Sara's cheek as she looked into her eyes.

“Of course I'll ask you to marry me, Sara. I want to spend everyday with you and I wish more than anything the rest of our lives could be here already, but as soon as it's proper I'll ask for your hand and then I'll propose to you. I want you to always be sure I'd do anything to be with you.”

“And you won't change your mind?”

“Never.”

“What if someone else, someone proper and polite-”

“There's no one else.”

“But what if-”

“Sara, there will never be anyone else. It's you, it's always been you.”

She touched her forehead to Sara's, kissing her gently.

“Good. Because it was always you for me, Ava. It'll always be you, today and tomorrow and everyday for the rest of our lives.”

  
  


  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo quite the cuteness overload... let me know your thoughts if you want to!


	29. The ring

“Good morning, General!” Iris greeted her as Ava walked into her shop after her shift on Monday afternoon.

“Mrs West-Allen. Mr Allen.”

“Are you liking your new watch?” Barry asked, smiling as he always did.

“Very much so, thank you for helping picking it out.”

“My pleasure, really, Miss Lance seemed set on getting you something special for your promotion. We didn't know you were so close.”

“Oh, well, we're friends,” Ava smiled politely. “Her father is my Captain.”

Barry nodded, seemingly convinced by the explanation.

“So, what can we do for you today?” Iris asked.

“Right. It's a bit of a... delicate matter. I would need for this to have never happened, so if we could keep it between us I would greatly appreciate it.”

“Sounds serious,” Barry said, nodding his head.

“Strictly private, we won't tell a soul,” Iris confirmed.

Ava nodded, appreciating the discretion. “Very well then,” she let out a long breath. “Would you mind showing me the engagement rings you have?”

  
  


Thea had been going to the school everyday for the past fortnight so she could see Roy when he finished working. They would walk together to his house, so her father couldn't interfere, then she would head back home with her father's groom. Thea cut him some slack on the formality department and he let her have the afternoon walks with Mr Harper. It was a fair arrangement, according to them both.

That Monday, she was walking back across town after leaving Roy's home, when something inside the West-Allen shop caught her eye.

She paused briefly, to make sure she hadn't been imagining it, but there was no doubt as to whom was inside the shop, looking at the left side of Mrs West-Allen's shop window, pointing at the second row of jewellery on it.

Thea knew what was there. Every girl in town knew what was there. And General Ava Sharpe was looking at it right now.

She hurried home, walking as fast as her feet would carry her, running upstairs to knock on Oliver's door as hard as he could, impatiently waiting for him to open up. When he didn't, she knocked again.

On the third try, the door finally opened, and Oliver peeked out just as their father walked out of the study to come and see what all the noise was about.

“She'll propose to Laurel,” Thea said without even greeting her brother. “General Sharpe.”

“What? What are you going on about?” Oliver frowned.

“I was walking downtown and I saw the General look at the rings in the West-Allen shop. The engagement rings, Ollie.”

“So? That doesn't mean it's for Laurel.”

“She wanted to court her, didn't she?”

“Everyone in town knows the General isn't really looking to marry, or she would have half the town on her case,” Robert stepped in.

“Yes, but wasn't she supposed to be introduced to Laurel?” Thea pressed on.

“If she was, it was probably Quentin's idea. He didn't know you had your eye set on the girl, did he?” Robert asked.

“He didn't. As far as I know Mr Heywood, her cousin, pressured her into meeting her. I think it might be an inheritance matter,” Oliver ventured. “But when they met, Laurel and I were already engaged.”

“Well, you aren't anymore, are you?” Thea pointed out. “And she's looking at rings as we speak, Ollie. If you don't do something she'll marry Laurel herself.”

“Laurel wouldn't say yes! And they barely speak, maybe the ring isn't even for her.”

“Well, whom else could it be for?” Robert asked.

“Perhaps Miss Tomaz,” Thea said, not convinced. “Or one of the Jiwe's, but I think Amaya and Nate will get engaged soon. Or possibly... Sara?”

Robert snorted. “No, I'm sure it's not her.”

Thea wanted to ask further, but knew better than to question her father.

“Well, whomever it is, you might want to do something, fast,” Thea advised her brother, then walked back downstairs.

“How do you know it's not Sara?” Oliver asked once they were alone.

“I made sure to comment on how you and her had been... indiscreet. And her older sister isn't married, so she certainly isn't going to be wed to a General, it would be unpleasant.”

“But not illegal. And me and Sara haven't been _that_ indiscreet, father.”

“The General doesn't know that, lad. And you know the Lance's, Oliver, they're proper people. If it's one of them, it's Laurel,” Robert said with sureness, then walked back into the study.

Oliver felt dread set into the pit of his stomach. He had wanted Sara for so long, but now that he was faced with the prospect of losing Laurel for good, he was certain he could never live without her. He had to do something, as soon as he possibly could.

  
  


Sara went to Ava’s house earlier now that the days were shorter, on the pretence of starting up everything well before dark. It was an added bonus that Ava was coming back earlier as well, the evenings too dark and cold to work outside anymore. She would always be home around five, and Sara would have everything set before then, so they could sit inside and have tea, talking about anything and everything. It was quickly becoming her favourite part of the day.

They did so on Monday, then Tuesday and Wednesday, and by Thursday that same week Sara would wake up happy already at the anticipation of having tea with Ava in the afternoon.

Life was becoming joyful.

It was on that same Thursday morning that Laurel knocked on her door once their father had left for work, to tell her all about her last two days with Oliver. Apparently, he had gone to great lengths to convince Laurel what happened was just a moment of weakness, a fluke, that it wouldn’t happen again.

Sara was thorn, she wasn’t sure anymore she wanted someone like Oliver to marry her sister. Now that she knew what having Ava was like, she didn’t think Oliver’s flaws were manageable anymore. She thought it would be devastating for Laurel to marry him and then discover he had kept his ways.

But Laurel seemed to have her heart set on forgiving him, going as far as to tell Sara they should probably be married in the spring, as soon as appropriate.

Sara had mixed feelings about it, for obvious reasons. On the one hand, her sister would marry a man who had been untrue to her, even though she loved him. But on the other... spring wasn’t far. It was surely closer than she’d pictured, and this could mean Ava would talk to Quentin shortly after, they could get engaged by summer, perhaps have a winter wedding. They could be married in a year. A year! And it would be proper, too, like Ava wanted.

When Ava came back, watching for a moment as Sara finished up her tasks, she could immediately see something was bothering her.

Instead of asking her inside for tea, Ava asked is she wanted to feed Waverider some apples, and Sara recognized it for the moment of privacy it was, without the risk that Mona or Gary would interrupt them.

“Laurel says the wedding is back on. She and Oliver will get married in spring.”

Ava paused for a moment, apple midway to Waverider’s mouth, considering. As the horse huffed she forced her hand to move further, then turned to Sara.

“I could talk to her, or Quentin perhaps. Tell them about how Robert threatened me, and you in the process. They both quite like Mr Harper, as do I since we're getting quite close at work, and I do think it would make them at least take everything into further consideration.”

“I don’t know if I want to meddle again,” Sara admitted. “It brought nothing but trouble before. But I was also doing it for the wrong reasons... this time, not interfering would be for the wrong reasons as well.”

Ava frowned, not understanding what Sara meant.

“If they marry in spring, then you and I could be together like you wanted, asking my father for my hand after my older sister is married like it’s proper.”

“Ah. I meant to talk to you about that, I’ve been saving up my courage the whole week.”

It was Sara’s turn to frown, as the words were interpreted exactly the wrong way. Was Ava going back on her promises?

“I think I should talk to Quentin. The day after tomorrow. Or, if not this Saturday, soon. Only if you agree of course,” Ava said like it was a given. “I would, well, ask for your hand, if Laurel’s wedding is back on. If not, I’d ask to court you properly. I really want to do this right, Sara, I don’t want him to have any reason to say no when I ask him officially.”

Sara was speechless. Ava wasn’t going back on her promise, she wanted to make sure it was kept.

“You want to speak with him this Saturday?”

“Yes,” she nodded. “Or when you think it’s best, but soon. Just to let him know what my intentions are,” Ava underlined again.

“Okay. I mean, yes, Saturday sounds good. If you’re sure.”

Sara smiled at her and Ava smiled back radiantly. She felt so happy she could barely believe it.

“I’m sure I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don’t want anything to be in the way of that.”

Sara stepped into her arms, hugging Ava close to her.

“I love you, Ava. I’m so glad we found each other again.”

“I love you, too,” Ava reminded her softly, kissing the top of her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I haven't updated on Thursday, I haven't been doing great emotionally/mentally and the week just kind of... passed. Sorry for the delay, I hope you've enjoyed the chapter!


	30. The home visit

Sara had been on her best behaviour all of Friday and Saturday morning, she had been so well behaved, in fact, that Dinah was starting to get suspicious, throwing her odd glances every time she would ask her father if he needed anything or if she could somehow help around the house.

Perhaps, Dinah had decided, the girl was just bored and craving something to keep her hands busy, so she decided to put her to work alongside her sister, both of them sewing up every hole they could find in Quentin’s work pants and in their own work dresses.

It was in the early afternoon, a polite time for an unannounced visit, when they heard a knock at the front door.

Sara was out of her chair so quickly she almost tipped it over. Her mother put a hand on her shoulder, saying she would get the door and murmuring about how on edge Sara was.

“General Sharpe, good afternoon! What a pleasant surprise, Sara didn’t warn us you would come by.”

“Mrs Lance, a pleasure to see you. I’m actually here to speak to your husband about a rather delicate matter.”

“Come in, he’s in the study, I’ll show you the way,” Dinah encouraged her.

After escorting her, Dinah went back to her daughters, a glint in her eyes.

“Our General seems to have a most awful luck,” was her comment, “coming back here in her best uniform, just the week Mr Queen asked for your forgiveness.”

“Yes, I wonder if she knows the wedding is back on,” Laurel frowned.

Sara said nothing, she barely even moved the whole time they kept waiting for the study’s door to open again, despite the fact that Dinah kept glancing her way.

  
  


“Ava, come in, please. Have a seat.”

Ava approached his desk, but looked rather reticent about sitting down. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, grasping the lapel of her jacket as she often did when she felt nervous.

Quentin recognized the gesture and took a better look at Ava, wearing the uniform she never wore to work, the one with all the golden details still perfectly intact.

“This isn’t about work, is it?” Quentin opted not to seat down, instead rounding the desk and leaning on the edge of it.

“It isn’t, Captain Lance.”

At the use of his title, he knew it was serious.

“What can I do for you?”

Ava took a deep breath, heart pounding and hands sweating.

“I wanted to speak with you about something concerning your daughter. A delicate matter, as I’ve told your wife.”

“If this is about Mr Queen’s indiscretions, I know all about it. As I understand it, the girl has left town and he’s very sorry. And Laurel loves him, if she forgave him who am I-“

“No, I’m sorry, not Laurel. Sara, sir,” Ava cleared her voice, then tried to rephrase. “I wanted to have a word with you about Sara.”

“Oh,” he let out a long breath, chuckling. “What has she done now?”

He saw the way Ava’s posture stayed stiff at the joke, the way she grasped her jacket tighter. This was really a most serious matter, he realized, turning somber again.

“Captain, I understand this is unconventional for a number of reasons, and I understand changes will have to be made once I’ve said this, but I believe the best course of action is to be honest with you, hoping you’ll forgive any missteps I might have found myself making until this moment.”

Quentin frowned. Had Sara done or said something to the General, or in the General’s presence, that made her feel compelled to give this speech to him?

“I don’t understand, what-”

“I’ve fallen in love with your daughter, Captain Lance. And I’m here to ask for your permission to court her and to, eventually, marry her.”

A long, endless moment went by, Quentin didn’t move, didn’t even flinch, just kept staring at her. Then, he pushed off the desk, starting to pace the room.

“In love?”

“Yes, sir. Deeply and completely in love with her. So much so I cannot fathom the thought of spending my life with anyone else.”

“And she knows about this?”

“Yes, I’ve made it clear my intentions toward her are aimed at nothing but her happiness.”

“Her happiness?”

“Yes, sir. No arranged marriages or hidden purposes. Just her happiness.”

“And she- Sara, does she know you want to marry her?”

“She knows. I am sorry I haven’t talked to you earlier but when I realized what my feelings were, I was sure Sara would never return them. But I have been given reason to hope Sara might love me back.”

“Does she want to marry you?”

He could barely imagine it! Sara, his free spirited daughter, had said since she was barely sixteen she never wanted her father to set her up with anyone or to even introduce her to anyone. Now he wondered if perhaps... if it was because of Ava.

“Well, I haven’t proposed to her, of course. Not without your blessing and not until Laurel is married.”

There was also that.

It was quite the thing to wrap his head around, but he thought there was no coming back now that it had been said out loud. He walked to the study door without giving Ava any explanation.

Dinah almost startled when he walked into the room just a few minutes after the General had arrived, his eyes setting on Sara immediately.

“Come with me,” he beckoned her with his hand, leading her back into the study and shutting the door behind him.

Sara saw Ava’s perplexed expression and realized this couldn’t be good. When Oliver came, Laurel hadn’t be called in to participate in the conversation at all, she had always assumed it wasn’t a common thing. It worried her.

“How long has this been going on?”

Sara turned to face her father, finding herself standing between the two of them.

“If you mean how long have we known about each other's feelings, then not long. If you're asking how long we've been in love with each other, then,” she stepped beside Ava, taking her hand in both of hers. “Long enough to be sure.”

Quentin watched as Sara's eyes turned soft when she tried to reassure Ava with just a touch of her hand.

“You love her?”

“Yes,” Sara said, with no hesitation. She looked almost scared Quentin would question this, or would deny her the chance to see Ava altogether.

“And you wanna marry her?”

He almost expected Sara to stall, or hesitate at least, but the answer came quick and clear as day, without a moment of pause.

“Yes.”

And wasn't that quite the surprise. He nodded, considering everything, then let out the smile he had barely been able to contain the whole conversation.

“Well then,” he said cheerfully. “Obviously this needs to stay between the three of us for now, yes? Until Laurel's married. But after that, of course, you can marry as soon as convenient. Although, I doubt it will be in time for your campaign.”

“Sir,” Ava hesitated, “this has _nothing_ to do-”

“I know, I know. We'll need to revise some of the rules. You can still walk Sara home, of course, my trust in you hasn't faltered just because of this. But days at the bay alone, if you're courting, should be avoided, mostly for how it will look, both of you away from home for a whole day, alone. We all know people love to talk around here. Perhaps bring some friends?”

“Of course, we just mostly stroll on the shore, I'm sure some of our friends will be happy to join us if we go again,” Ava nodded.

“And, uhm,” he tried to think of anything else improper. “Well, you're so polite I don't reckon anything else should be changed. I trust you both to have the judgement this requires.”

“So that's a yes?” Sara asked, already smiling.

“Yes, that's a yes.”

She hugged Ava fiercely, then kissed her cheek. She hugged her father as well, then tried to get her smile in check before exiting the room.

“Thank you, Captain. I value your trust immensely and I would never do anything to jeopardize that.”

“I know. I would ask you not to hurt her but I- I see the way you look at her. I think you two will be good for each other.”

Ava smiled, nodding. “I really do believe so myself.”

Sara was waiting for her just outside the study, to walk her to the door. She glanced back to make sure her sister and mother weren't eavesdropping, then turned to Ava again.

“I feel so happy it's like walking on a cloud.”

Ava took her hand and bowed her head to kiss the back of it. “I'm feeling quite overjoyed myself.”

“Will you be back tonight to pick me up?”

“Yes, early enough that we can help Nate set up.”

“I'll see you then.”

Ava smiled and stepped back, letting go of Sara's hand slowly, turning and walking away with reticence.

Sara tried to suppress her smile, then walked back to her sister's side and went back to the task she was tending to before Ava showed up.

“So, how much trouble are you into this time? Should I ask what you did?” Laurel whispered, once their mother had left the room.

Sara's smile came back despite her best efforts. “Oh, so much trouble. You wouldn't stand it if I told you.”

She went back to her needle while chuckling, and Laurel rolled her eyes but did the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank all of you for showing support, you are all truly amazing. I've been having a rough time the last few months and it culminated last week, I'm doing a bit better now but I'm still in the same situation, nothing that bad really but it's hard on me sometimes. Still, I appreciate all of you being supportive, it really meant a lot. Thank you all <3
> 
> Now to the chapter: pretty important stuff!!! Thoughts? :D


	31. The other colonel

When they had dinner at Nate's house on Saturday, for the first time since Ava had started going, Mr and Mrs Diggle joined them.

Ava had nothing in particular against the Colonel himself, but she knew John Diggle was probably the only one who could run against her and stand a chance to become Governor.

They greeted each other politely, Nate and Lyla participating in the conversation, and eventually ended up talking about work.

“How are things in your side of the military?” Ava asked politely once they had already approached the topic.

While Ava handled the rebuilding and sort of disaster relief part of the job, with Lance handling the boarders and Hunter dealing with the political stuff, Colonel Diggle had been in charge of the safety of the city, organizing the police forces inside of it since the end of the war.

“Well, we've been short handed for months, the city is becoming unsafe.”

It was apparent, by the way the Colonel had been behaving since the start of the conversation and even more so by the face he made at Ava's question, that he believed this to be somewhat Ava's fault.

“Why don't you hire more men?” Ava asked, genuinely interested in making things easier on his side.

“Wouldn't we like to do that,” John explained, “but our funds are strictly from the State, and we can only hire trained men. We can't go ask around for someone to finance us.”

Ava resented that, but didn't let it show. It became immediately obvious that he resented the fact she had been taking donations from the wealthiest part of the city.

“I have five trained men from the military, I'll send them to work for you from Monday on.”

He frowned. “What, just like that?”

“Would it make the city safer?”

“Yes, it would.”

“Then yes, just like that, Colonel. I want to make this city better for everyone, all you had to do was ask and I would've helped. Just because we work in different branches doesn't mean we're in competition with each other, we're colleagues, I'm always on your side.”

He seemed surprised, but nodded and shook her hand. “Thank you.”

Ava smiled, knowing she just had to take the men working on the square and put them all on the school so the same number of men would stay on the job, and the fact that she would piss off Robert Queen in the process was nothing but an added bonus in her mind.

She had heard the rumours, about Robert turning to Colonel Diggle as soon as Ava had refused to fire Mr Harper, promising to finance his campaign. She hadn't regretted it, she had grown very fond of the young man and she knew he admired her greatly. She wished to protect him from anything Mr Queen might attempt and keeping him close was the best way to ensure she could do so if the necessity arose. As for the other Colonel running, Ava wasn't worried about that, she had Nate, Quentin and Rip ready to help and her own money as well as Ray's to rely on. And even if Diggle ran and won, Ava would be happy to have someone like him run things.

  
  


“I was worried you had left already,” Sara's voice almost startled her.

Ava turned her head and smiled as the girl walked closer to her, then turned back to look up at the sky, stars adorning the night with their soft glow.

“I wouldn't leave without you.”

“Hence, I came looking for you. What are you doing out here? It's mid November, Ava, it's too _cold_ to be out this late.”

“Come here,” Ava whispered, opening one arm so Sara could slip underneath it.

Sara hugged her waist and let Ava keep her close, looking up like Ava had been doing when she joined her.

“I spoke to Colonel Diggle earlier. Running against him would mean a feud with Mr Queen, whom went out of his way already to let me know he was disappointed in me not indulging his every whim.”

“So? You shouldn't be scared of him, he's all bark and no bite.”

Ava took a deep breath, then sighed. “I'm not, but I'm so tired, Sara. When I came back a year ago, I thought it was finally over. There hasn't been a day since that I didn't have to fight or bargain or work my way through obstacle after obstacle, may it be bureaucratic or practical. If this is a campaign, good, I wouldn't mind running and losing to Colonel Diggle. If this is a fight...” she shook her head, closing her eyes for a moment.

“It might have to be,” Sara whispered.

“Well, if it is, I'm not interested in it. No more fighting. I've done enough of it to last me a few lifetimes.”

Sara agreed. She saw it, sometimes, when Ava thought she wasn't paying attention, how she would get startled at a noise too loud, or the way she would look at something, anything – a paper knife, a compass, a brooch even – and suddenly see something else entirely, something darker, that shut her off completely for long moments that were lost to her forever.

“Will you-” Ava whispered, eyes moving from the stars to the ground. “Would you still want to marry me if I didn't become Governor?”

Sara stepped back so she could take Ava's face in her hands.

“I would marry you always, anywhere, anyhow. I would love you always.”

Ava took Sara's wrists in her hands, nodding slowly, still not looking at her.

“You wanted to run to help people, Ava. If you win and can do so, great. If you don't want to run at all, no harm done: you're still helping plenty of people right here, right now.”

Ava nodded, eyes closed. Her bottom lip trembled and Sara's heart ached. She had never before seen Ava so vulnerable, so open with her about her emotions.

“What if you were right? What if soldiers can never really go back to the people they were before?”

“Of course you can't. You shouldn't. Ava, I don't know what you saw or what you did, but I can imagine how awful, how hard it was. Nobody should be able to go back to how they were before that, you wouldn't be as human, as compassionate as I know you to be if you had. But you can find peace again, you can find serenity and happiness.”

“I've looked for it everywhere and I only find it when I'm with you. And it scares me, it scares me that the ghosts I have to face never relent when we're apart.”

“Then we won't be apart anymore,” Sara whispered. “Don't be scared to share with me the bad, I'm not just here for the good parts. I promise you, nothing you can say will ever scare me away. I'll always be by your side, for better and for worse.”

Ava chuckled, opening her eyes again, unshed tears shining inside them when she finally looked up at Sara.

“We aren't married, yet.”

“We're as good as married in my heart,” Sara told her with no doubt in her voice. “I'm in love with you. The parts of you I know and cherish, the ones you haven't shown to me yet, the ones you still haven't discovered yourself. Just as you are, that's how I love you.”

Ava hugged her, finally smiling, feeling the happiness Sara always brought to her starting to creep back inside her heart.

“That's how I love you,” she echoed her words.

  
  


John knocked on Robert's door on Sunday, knowing he would find him home so they could talk in private. He was shown in and escorted to the study, where he and Robert sat down together to discuss whatever was on the Colonel's mind.

“I've spoken to General Sharpe, yesterday. She's born to give orders and has a gift for quick thinking. I don't think I can actually win, Robert, I'm sorry.”

“Don't be so negative, John. Everyone has a weakness, we just need to find hers.”

“Well, she's a General, she's younger, she has friends in high places.”

“So do you,” Robert argued, “and you're also married and settled, we can't say the same about the General.”

“Perhaps not, but how long until we can?”

“What do you mean by that?” Robert frowned.

“Didn't you say Thea saw her buy an engagement ring? I was at the Heywood's last night. I saw her talk to Captain Lance's younger daughter, they were on the front yard, they hugged and I could swear at one point the girl took the Captain's face in her hands. Friends do not behave that way.”

“We'll postpone Oliver wedding with Laurel, then. So they won't be able to get married before the election.”

“They don't need to. You best believe the second Darhk is through his last breath they'll announce an engagement, if they know how to campaign. If Oliver and Laurel's wedding is happening, then so is theirs.”

Robert mulled it over for a moment, then nodded.

“Perhaps you're right. But it just so happens I have something up my sleeve to stop both. And with some luck, it will deter the General from running at all.”

John looked confused, but pleased. “Well, what is it?”

“Leave that to me, it's a... delicate matter.”

“It's not by using slanders or lies, is it?”

“No. Luckily, all we need in this case is the simple truth.”

John considered for a moment whom he was making this deal with, then thought about what it would mean to him to be able to run without anyone else from Starling opposing him.

“Well then,” he sighed, then smiled. “I rely on you to handle this as quickly and as discretely as possible.”

Robert smiled, happy with the answer. Quick and discrete were just the ways he liked to operate best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really curious to know if you have any thoughts or theories tbh!


	32. The snoring

They had to be more cautious after telling Quentin, so that Sunday they decided not to go to the bay, somewhat for the cold November weather, somewhat for the way it would look. Instead, Ava had invited Nate, Amaya, Zari and Charlie to lunch, despite having had dinner with them the night before. Sara went earlier, so she could still spend some time alone with Ava, on the pretence of helping her set everything up.

They enjoyed each other’s simple company, relishing in the ability to hold each other’s hand every so often or kiss each other’s cheek when they were someplace hidden from view.

Life was still kind to them.

When their friends came, they found them as Ava tried to teach Sara to ride Waverider, despite a few hiccups she seemed to have it handled quite alright.

Zari and the Jiwe’s immediately went to pet the horse and get acquainted with her, Ava letting Waverider enjoy the attention as the girls fed her apples.

“You seem quite content,” Nate noticed.

“I feel at peace, in a way I never thought I would. There’s something I wanted to talk to you about, actually.”

They were both looking at the girls chuckling and joking around a yard from them, smiling softly at the scene.

“Is it about the elections?”

“Yes. I don’t know if I want to run anymore, Nate. It’s an unpleasant business, politics.”

“It doesn’t ought to be. Not for someone like you,” he shrugged. “You cannot dig up dirt on someone clean.”

“True. I’m just not sure I want another fight, and if Colonel Diggle runs...”

“It could get quite unpleasant, yes.”

“I’m just so tired, Nate. I think, perhaps being here will be good, I could grow some roots, perhaps even... perhaps I could move on.”

He didn’t need to ask from what. He knew what the war did to its soldiers, he knew so few of them really made it back alive. He hadn’t always been positive Ava had, but he could almost see her now, the girl who left. He could almost believe she actually could move on.

“Well, then let’s put everything on hold, revisit this at a later date, when we know Darhk’s fate perhaps?”

“Yes,” Ava nodded. “We can revisit then,” she didn’t sound too convinced about it.

Nate turned to her, seeing exactly the way she was looking at the carefree way Sara was laughing, the longing and the affection in her eyes. He knew instantly to drop the campaign, he knew that the later date would never come, and he wished nothing more than to keep seeing that look in his cousin’s eyes.

When Amaya and Nate announced they had gotten engaged the previous evening, after all the congratulations and happy handshakes were given, after the hugs and the smiles, he saw the look Sara and Ava exchanged and he was sure that everything would be alright.

  
  


Ava was walking Sara home, even if there was still light outside, just to be able to stay with her a little longer, and have some time alone just the two of them.

Sara seemed lost in thought, almost far away, and Ava tried not to let the fear of it having a correlation with the fact she had shown her a darker side of herself get a grip of her mind.

“You seem quite pensive,” she commented almost casually.

Sara gripped her arm tighter, leaning on her more.

“Do you snore?”

Ava stopped walking, blinking twice, then turning her head to look at Sara.

“Pardon me?”

“Amaya said Nate snores so much she think she might never sleep again once they’re married.”

“Have Amaya and Nate slept-“

“He could fall asleep anywhere, one day they were traveling in his dad’s carriage and he fell asleep before they got into town and apparently he snores like a bear.”

“And has Amaya heard a lot of bears snoring to properly compare it or...”

“I’m serious, what if you snore? What if you drag your feet in the morning in a way that drives me insane? What if I don’t like how the sun hits your bedroom window when I’m waking up?”

Ava untangled herself from Sara to step in front of her, an hint of delight in her eyes.

“I don’t snore and I’ll be careful not to drag my feet. And if you don’t like our bedroom we’ll change it. We’ll change house, if you wish to.”

“I don’t care if you drag your feet. But what if I start to find it the most annoying thing in the world?”

“Ah,” Ava nodded, finally understanding. “You’re not afraid we’re incompatible. You’re afraid we’ll fall out of love.”

“I can’t imagine it, I feel like crying at the thought alone. This feelings in my chest makes me feel so alive I can barely stand it. I don’t want to lose this.”

“Why would we?” Ava smiled softly. “You’ll change, Sara, that’s life and it would be naive to deny it. I’ll change as well. You’re not how you were when you were sixteen and I’m not how I was when I was eighteen, but we’ve found each other again, haven’t we? We’ll find each other again, if we change. Always.”

“You’re sure?”

Ava’s eyes got bigger and she chuckled. “No, my love. I can’t predict the future, nothing but the present is ever certain. But I can promise you I’ll try my best and I won’t ever give up on us. I can promise you I’ll always choose you, I’ll always be by your side, even on the days when you’ll hate the way I drag my feet and I’ll hate the way you snore.”

“I don’t snore!”

Ava chuckled, hugging her, kissing the tip of her nose.

“You do, the day you fell asleep in my study I swear I had never heard any sound as cute as that. God, I hope I get to hear it every night for the rest of my life.”

Sara huffed, but hugged her back. “You’re lucky I love you so much, or with how often you make fun of me I would have left you ages ago.”

“Yes. I am lucky you love me. I feel it’s fair to say I’m the luckiest woman in the world to be loved back by you.”

“I don’t snore,” Sara murmured again.

Ava thought it was best to let her keep believing she didn’t.

  
  


“This is where we part,” Ava told her once they reached the Lance's land.

Sara smiled, letting go of her arm, stepping away from her. “It was true the first time you've said it to me, or the second. But I don't believe it to be true anymore. You've said it yourself, just a few minutes ago: you'll always be by my side. But even when you aren't, there's still an echo of you that stays in my heart. We're never truly apart anymore, as I aways carry you in my heart.”

Ava felt like her heart would burst, or start singing. She had never felt so happy, so truly happy in her whole life.

She opened her mouth to return the sentiment, when their attention was caught by the door to the house opening loudly, Laurel marching out angrily and shouting something to Sara they couldn't quite hear from that distance.

Dinah was at her side a moment later, holding her back and trying to coax her into stop yelling, Quentin exited the house immediately after, worried eyes watching his younger daughter as he beckoned her closer.

Sara and Ava hurried down the path to the house, after exchanging a worried look. The didn't know what would possess Laurel – proper, polite, loved by everyone – to make such a scene.

“How could you?!” Laurel half yelled, half chocked out, once Sara was close enough to hear her say it.

She frowned, hurrying more, until they were standing close enough to be able to talk to Sara's family without having to raise their voice.

“I haven't done anything, I've been at Ava's house the whole day, with our friends. I've invited you, remember? You said you wanted to go see Oliver.”

“And I did,” Laurel said, eyes teary and red. She had been crying, by the looks of it, for quite a while. “I went to his house, Robert took me aside and told me the truth, Sara. How could you do this to me?!”

Ava felt a cold shiver run down her spine. Robert Queen was never up to anything good, so whatever he had said to make Laurel react this way, could only be aimed at something even worse than what it appeared.

“Told you what?” Sara asked, in a breath.

The same feeling of dread Ava was feeling took hold of her as well, at the mention of Mr Queen telling something that had shook her sister so much.

“He told me you and Oliver have- you've...” she shook her head, then sobbed again. “He told me Oliver has had... intimate knowledge of you.”

Sara felt all the air leave her lungs, as if someone had just knocked into her full force, or if a bucket of ice cold water had been dropped on her head. This was the worst possible moment for this to happen, and the worst possible way: Ava was right beside her, able to hear everything that she would have to say to her sister about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you already guessed this was going to be the evil plan and as I said, I wanted it to be coherent more than I wanted it to be a plot twist (there will be time for that worry not!), that said I'd like to know your thoughts. I know the plot is progressing slowly, but the whole point of the short chapters but 2 per week is to farther get into the "soap opera-y" aspect of this story. Are you bored? Are you curious? Are you loving or hating the format? Let me know :)


	33. The truth

Sara's whole world came crushing down on her. Suddenly, she felt like she could barely breathe, like everything was completely falling apart.

“Mr Queen told you Oliver and I have-” she couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence.

“He said you've laid together,” Laurel accused.

Quentin stepped between the two of them, catching Sara's attention.

“Perhaps it's best we set up something for you. You could travel for a while, until this quiets down, or maybe-”

“What?” Sara frowned. “Until it quiets down?”

“Yes, Sara. Until he makes up his mind, because if Roberts sees you around and you just as much as irk him, he could tell anyone. You should perhaps... you should go visit your aunt.”

“You don't have a sister,” Sara murmured, completely lost. “Neither does mom.”

“Well, who would know that?” Quentin explained. “As things are now it's best if you're away, if he starts spreading rumours around people will question the timing at the very least.”

“But, dad,” Sara laughed humourlessly, almost bitterly. “Obviously it's not true. I didn't... I didn't lay with him.”

Quentin grimaced and Dinah let out a sound between a strangled sob and a bitter laugh, covering her mouth a moment later.

“It doesn't matter, honey” he told her quietly. “It doesn't matter if it's true, Sara. It's Robert Queen's word against your own, if Oliver says you did...” he shrugged helplessly.

“But I didn't do it, I didn't do anything, I- it's true I kissed Oliver, and I'm sorry, but it was way before he and Laurel got engaged. I'm so sorry I did that, dad, but I didn't- I didn't do this,” she looked at Laurel with pleading eyes, but found in her sister's nothing but hurt.

Quentin shook his head again, sighing.

“It doesn't matter if you didn't. It would ruin you, everyone would believe him, you wouldn't be able to... even walk around without people whispering along, let alone have a decent life.”

His eyes darted to Ava quickly, then back to Sara.

She knew what that look meant. She dreaded the look she would find on Ava's face once she mustered up the courage to look at her.

With tears already forming in her eyes, she turned.

Ava had a look in her eyes she had never seen there before, cold and furious, like a sky looks just before it starts to pour rain from above. Ava looked tempestuous.

But as soon as she saw Sara turn, her jaw unclenched, her eyes softened and she stepped forward, grasping her arms and bowing her head so she could look into Sara's eyes. She saw they were teary and immediately felt so desperate to reassure her.

“Listen to me,” she said, clear and strong. “Listen to me, Sara. It won't _matter_.”

Ava's hands were strong but they didn't hurt her, they grounded her. Slowly, Sara met her eyes, confused as to what Ava meant.

“Obviously I won't let him get away with this,” she amended, “but even if he told everyone, every single person in this god-forsaken town, it will _not_ matter. Everything will work out fine.”

“Will it?” Sara whispered, grasping Ava's lapels with all her strength. “Will we?”

“Yes,” Ava smiled, a little breathless. “Yes, I'd never believe him. I'll still marry you.”

Sara shook her head, not even minding her mother's gasp.

“You can't. It would ruin you as well. Your reputation, your career, your whole life. He would take everything from you.”

Ava chuckled, but it was without amusement.

“He can't. He can't take _anything_ from me. Because there's nothing, not _one_ thing, in this whole world that is worth _anything_ to me compared to you, Sara.”

Sara held her jacket tighter, searching her eyes for any doubt, for any resentment.

“I'll fix it, I promise you I will. Because he's doing this to get to me and I'll stop him, Sara. But even if I can't stop him,” she shook her head, “he can't take me from you. He can't. I'll still love you no matter what he says.”

Sara melted into her arms, a trembling sob leaving her lips, coming from the anger she was feeling toward the man more than the sadness she was feeling for herself.

“I'll fix this, please don't cry,” Ava murmured against her temple. “I'll fix this, I'm so sorry.”

Ava kept holding her tight against her chest, as Dinah guided Laurel back inside, as the sun faded out on the horizon, then she eventually let her go when her sobs subsided, watching as Quentin coaxed her into Dinah's arms so she would head inside as well.

Ava's heart had never felt so broken, so desperate.

“I'm sorry,” she told Quentin as well.

“How is this even your fault? If he's lying, this is his own doing.”

“He _is_ lying,” Ava insisted.

“Just because you're honourable doesn't mean Oliver-”

“Quentin, Robert is lying. I don't know why, but I know he is. I'll talk to Colonel Diggle, to Oliver, and I'll fix this. But please, believe your daughter. She was never anything but proper with me, and I do believe she cares about me a great deal.”

Ava glanced to the door, but Sara was out of sight. She nodded to Quentin, then walked off quickly, heading back home with a plan already forming in her mind.

  
  


Quentin let dinner pass, and didn't go banging on Sara's door when she didn't show for dinner, nor did he force Laurel to go talk to her. He knew neither was ready to hear what the other one had to say.

After dinner, he went to Sara's room. He knocked lightly, then walked inside even though there was no answer.

Sara was seated at the window, staring out into the night, eyes red and legs hugged to her chest, looking as small as she ever did.

“Hey,” he sat down on her bed, one of his hands gently caressing her knee, his eyes not daring to look at her face again. She was too pale, too unlike Sara. “I don't want you to think I don't believe you, honey. Do you wanna tell me what happened?”

Sara felt a fresh wave of tears.

She didn't. At least, she didn't think she did. But when she opened her mouth to deny Quentin's request, everything came out, from the beginning to the end, the whole truth about what had really happened between her and Oliver Queen.

“I was fourteen when I first saw him, and I told Laurel I liked him in confidence. She made fun of me, said I was too young to date him, said he would never like me back. I liked him for a while, then I made friends and he was just some rich boy from the West side of town,” Sara started, shaking her head. “When I was a month short of sixteen, Laurel told me Oliver fancied her, she said she would let him court her just to see where it went. It was stupid, she knew I had liked him one or two years before, but she still let him hang around her. We had a big fight.”

Sara remembered the day like it had just happened. Like it hadn't been six years since that Autumn day she met Ava Sharpe.

“When she headed for the town, I stormed off East. There was nothing but two mansions there, as far as I knew. I was walking up when I saw this girl, sitting on the short wall, staring off into the wastelands and the front down there. She said she had no parents, she said she would leave for war in a month when she was eighteen and nobody would ever miss her. I asked her not to go, I asked her why she didn't want a family of her own. She said she didn't think she could ever love anyone that way.”

When her exact words came to mind she almost chuckled, covering her eyes with her hand, shaking her head.

“God may forgive me, I told her I was too delightful and fierce for her not to fall in love with me and she looked too kind for me not to love her back. She promised she'd come back from the war, she'd come find me and ask for my hand. I didn't see her again and all I knew about her was her name, not even a surname, nothing else.”

“Ava?” Quentin asked, breathless.

“Yes, Ava. I waited, for weeks, months. Years. Three years had gone by, I was nineteen and I wasn't too young anymore. When Oliver started complimenting me, touching my hand, I didn't- I didn't think anything of it. I knew he loved Laurel. When he kissed me I... dad I didn't even really want him to, but I thought... I liked him, right? Years before. And it was just a kiss, it was just a stupid kiss. I didn't tell Laurel, I didn't tell anyone because I felt silly, because _I liked him_, but I kept thinking about that girl I didn't even know.”

She heard someone move and turned to see her mother and sister on her room's threshold, listening in on the tale, probably from the very beginning. She thought she might as well just say this once.

“Then I heard Major Heywood say that awful thing about the Colonel, and one day, just after she came back, we saw her at the market. You told me she was the girl he was referring to, the girl who would thrive in a war. I recognized her, I got scared and ran away. She thought I didn't remember her, so she left me alone.”

“Oh, Sara. I explained-”

“I know. I understand now, he meant she could have saved so many people. She _is_, even now. Not six months after that, he tried to kiss me again. I let him, because I didn't think she would ever come look for me. I had given up on her. But then...”

“Then Rip and Nate suggested she married Laurel.”

“Yes. And I couldn't... I couldn't bear it. My heart couldn't take it. Having her as a sister-in-law, seeing her so often, I couldn't do it. When you told us about it I-” she sobbed again. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry,” she turned to Laurel. “I ran to him. I begged him to propose to Laurel, I told him he had to be true to her and that I'd never marry him, I've never wanted to. He did as I asked but then he... he seemed to think he could have me if he granted my wish, but I _never_-”

“Oh, God,” Quentin felt bile rise in his stomach. “He came onto you after he proposed?”

Sara nodded. “I pushed him away, we were at the tavern, I kept pushing him away until he grabbed my wrists.”

“Please tell me he didn't_-”_ Laurel stepped into the room.

Sara shook her head. “Ava walked in. She wasn't happy with it, but it kept him at a distance. She warned me, but I didn't listen. I told her we would never repeat the stupid mistake we'd made, but Ava told me I was the only one who had learned, the only one who was sorry. I thought she'd be mad when he kissed Miss Smoak because she tried to warn me but I didn't listen. She was the one to force Oliver to come clean to you.”

“Wait, wait. She knew you had kissed Oliver?” Quentin asked.

“I told her when she saw us standing close at the tavern, even if nothing had happened.”

“And she...” Quentin prompted her.

Sara shrugged. “Nora- Mrs Darhk, she told me Ava never forgot about me. She told me she never paid mind to any advances because her heart had been locked away all the time she had been gone, waiting to get back to the girl from before the war. I was so mad, I-” she bit her lip, then let out a chuckle. She pressed a hand to her mouth. “I swatted her arm. Three or four times.”

“Sara!” Quentin's eyes grew bigger and he did his best not to laugh. “You swatted a General?!”

“I did. Because she hadn't kept her promise. And she said... she said she promised to come back to me and to fall in love with me so the way she saw it, she had kept it just fine. I love her so much I can barely believe she's real. Dad, I can't believe this is going to be the reason she doesn't marry me, not this, not a lie. Ava Sharpe is the love of my life.”

Quentin felt tears in his eyes and a dumb smile on his face.

“Ah, it figures you'd go and fall in love with the best person in this awful town.”

Dinah cleared her throat.

“Yes, sorry. The best person after your sister and you.”

“Not that, Quentin! The General asked to court Sara?!”

“Ah, yes. Or, I guess, she told me she would ask for her hand only once Laurel was married. She said she was in love with Sara and she was telling me so I could establish a new set of rules if I deemed them necessary, which I didn't.”

Sara hugged her knees closer to her chest.

“It doesn't matter anymore. I've already lost her.”

“You heard her, Sara. She won't let this prevent her from marrying you,” Quentin forced a smile, trying to be reassuring.

“It doesn't matter,” she murmured quietly, echoing her father's words. “You know I couldn't marry her. No matter what she says, she's worked for the past six years to build her reputation and career, and you know I couldn't let her destroy it all just to marry me, if this got out.”

“But don't you want to be with her?” Dinah asked, perplexed.

“More than anything. But how can I, if it destroys everything else important to her? I know in my heart she would give it up in a heartbeat. It doesn't mean I should _let_ her.”

She looked at Quentin, eyes sure and steady.

“She's the best, most honest, fairest person I know. She should be Governor, she should be free of this. No, I won't marry her if he spreads this lie about me through town. I want the best life possible for her. Even if that means I'm not a part of it.”

Quentin's heart broke, because Sara had become the mature, wise, fierce woman he had always known she would be. And she would get nothing but unhappiness for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... some of you predicted this, some of you probably didn't see it coming. Thoughts?


	34. The confrontation

Ava would be late for work. It wouldn't matter. She had marched through town on Monday morning as soon as she woke up, making the Colonel's house her first stop.

She knocked on the door, not bothering to check the time. She pounded on it and again when nobody came to answer the first time. Lyla came a moment later, the delay probably due to the fact she was with child, and showing a bit already.

“General. Good morning, what can I do for you?”

“Is your husband in?” Ava chocked out, trying not to let her rage slip through her calm facade quite yet.

John peeked from behind her, dressed in his shirt but without jacket, clearly not ready to head out as it was still rather early. Ava took a sharp breath. Her jaw tightened. Suddenly, all the calm she had tried to bring upon herself vanished into thin air.

“What have you asked of Robert Queen?” She whispered furiously, through her teeth.

He frowned. “What?”

“Why is he willing to lie to hurt the Lance's? What have you asked of him?”

“I don't know what the hell you're-”

“_Colonel_ Diggle, despite the way you have been talking to me and behaving in my presence, I am still your _General_. Be careful what your next words are, because if you lie to me, you'll be lying to your direct superior.”

John bit his tongue, then sighed.

“I didn't ask anything of him. He came to me, wanting to finance my campaign for Governor, so I accepted. We were talking the other day and he had told me Miss Queen saw you buy an engagement ring, then on Saturday I saw you talk to the younger Lance and so yesterday I told him the ring was probably for her. I thought you'd announce the engagement as soon as Darhk would be a goner, so you could start the campaign engaged and the one advantage I had would be gone. He said he had something that could prevent it, something true he had knowledge of.”

“Robert Queen wouldn't know truth if she hit him square on the nose!” Ava seethed.

Lyla snorted, then went back to serious when she saw Ava's eyes still fiery. The blonde took a deep breath, then tried to clarify her intentions with a calmer tone.

“I told Nate I wouldn't run, if you did. That I would be so happy, should you be Governor, because you're a just and fair man. And you were ready to end my career by letting him threaten to ruin a woman's life! What did you have in mind? I don't run and he doesn't spread lies about a woman who did absolutely nothing wrong? You would have ruined her life just because I'm fond of her,” she grimaced. “You're not just, or fair. And if Robert Queen is your puppet master, I would rather run against you then let you win unopposed just to let people know what kind of honour-less men you associate yourself with.”

“He's no such thing, and I'm not his associate, he's just financing my campaign.”

“No, he's not just financing it. He's running it. If this lies spread, if Sara's life is ruined, this is on your hands and mines. Because he's despicable, this is his nature. But you and I, we should protect people like Sara from people like him.”

She turned, took two steps, then turned again.

“I'll run against you, Colonel. Even if you ruin her life, her reputation, you won't find anything to ruin mine. I'm not vengeful, but I don't appreciate people who threaten innocents, so I won't come after you but you can rest assured I won't let you have what you desire, if it's the last thing I do.”

She hurried down the road without glancing back, walking fast to the Queen's mansion, ready for round two.

It was only a few yards ahead, when she heard someone run to catch up to her, jogging until he reached her. John Diggle, jacket of his uniform on but still unbuttoned, was now walking beside her.

“He said he wouldn't lie. If he did, I want him off my campaign, I want no part in his schemes,” he told her, trying to fall into step with her at the same time as he was trying to fasten his jacket.

Ava didn't slow down. “He always lies. And I won't withdraw just because you get him off your campaign _after_ you've let him threaten an innocent person.”

“No, of course not. I'm the one who should withdraw,” he explained.

Ava frowned, but didn't stop.

“I'm clearly not ready, if I believed someone who so blatantly lied as you say. And what you said on Saturday, about wanting to make this city better for everyone, that's exactly what I want. So perhaps instead of opposing each other, I should join your team. You're my General, after all.”

Ava looked at him, not completely believing what he was saying, but not bothering to argue with him. A few minutes later, they were walking up to the Queen's house. From the road coming not from the Diggle's house but from downtown, they saw someone else approaching.

Ava knocked on the door without waiting. A maid came soon, and she asked for Mr Queen. They were told to wait at the entrance, as Quentin finally caught up with them, eying John with suspicious looks.

Before Robert could show up, Oliver walked into the hallway, glancing upstairs. They all held their breaths, worried sick he might back Robert's story up. But the man seemed shaken, his arms crossed over his chest and dark circles underneath his eyes.

“Laurel ran away yesterday, before I could explain. He's forbidden me from telling her my side of the story. I love her, I really do. It took almost losing her when I thought you would propose to her,” he told Ava.

“Is it true?” John asked him.

Ava and Quentin both turned to him with glacial stares.

“What? I have to know what is going on, don't I?”

“It's not,” Oliver insisted. “He told her I-” he lowered his voice into a whisper. “He told her I laid with Sara. We didn't do anything of the sort. We kissed, but that's all. One time, years ago, maybe three. And the other six or seven months ago, before I was even engaged to Laurel.”

Ava frowned. She hadn't known the dates. She didn't know if she liked them, if it would have been better if they were both before she came back. Or perhaps if it would be less painful if both were after. Or perhaps-

“Sara gave me the same time frames,” Quentin said. “They haven't seen each other in weeks, have they? I doubt they had agreed upon a lie.”

“It does seem unlikely,” John agreed. “So why is your father lying?”

“Because now he thinks the General will propose to Sara. If I don't marry Laurel, and if word is Sara has laid with someone unwed, it won't matter if General Sharpe marries her, it will do nothing but hurt her campaign. So you can win,” he addressed John. “Do his dirty work for him.”

“Well, he doesn't know me very well, then,” he chuckled humourlessly.

“Why would you think I was going to propose to Sara? Just so I could announce an engagement at the start of the campaign?” Ava asked him.

Oliver shifted his weight from foot to foot. “When Thea said you bought a ring-”

Ava lowered her gaze, then chuckled.

“Are you going to deny it?” Robert's voice came from the top of the stairs, as he started to walk down alongside his daughter. “Thea saw you.”

Ava's eyes darted to the girl.

“I just meant for Oliver to take Laurel back before you proposed to her, I didn't know about any of this,” she defended herself, stepping to Ava. “If I did, I would have _never_-”

“But you did,” Robert reminded her, then smiled at Ava with satisfaction in his eyes. “I must admit I'm disappointed Oliver won't back me up, since this _is_ the truth,” he remarked, “but everyone will know what Sara has done, and I'm sure they will believe me wether he backs it up or not.”

Ava unbuttoned her jacket, slowly. When she moved it aside, her sword came into clear view and for a moment, Robert actually looked on alert.

But her hand went to the pocket, foregoing anything else.

“You saw me inside Mrs West-Allen's shop?” Ava asked Thea. “Talking to her and Mr Allen, the best clock master in town?” She fished her watch out of her pocket. “Brand new, but made abroad, it kept loosing one minute every hour, I was always late for work. I went in to have it fixed,” Ava explained.

Thea looked at her for a long moment.

“Oh, yes. Now that I think about it, you were talking to Mr Allen,” she nodded. “I'm so silly, I must have been wanting Oliver to crawl back to Laurel so much, I made this whole thing up in my mind, just to hurry him along.”

“Thea, don't be ridiculous-” Robert scoffed.

“No, dad, I recall perfectly now, she was on the other side of the shop, she couldn't have been looking at engagement rings.”

His jaw clenched, and he looked at Diggle.

“I've explicitly asked you not to lie, Mr Queen. I think our deal is off.”

“Oliver?”

“I won't lie for you. I'll never lie to Laurel ever again. I love her, dad.”

“Can't you see this is hurting your son as well?” Quentin spoke up. “I mean, I could strangle him myself for kissing both of my daughters, but he's your child. Stop this, before you ruin his life as well.”

He looked at Ava with displeasure and anger.

“Let this go. If this is about the town square, I've told you it'll be done as soon as the school is ready, and I've got someone else financing the school already. If this is about wanting to control the Governor, then I think it's safe to say neither myself nor Colonel Diggle will be complacent in your schemes any longer. So, for the good of your son and of everyone else, let this go,” Ava asked him politely, anger still filling her whilst she tried to keep it in check.

Robert huffed. “Very well, then,” he turned, and marched back upstairs without bothering to say another word. Diggle walked out of the house at the same time he retreated.

As soon as he was out of sight, Quentin stepped inside, walking to Oliver and, before anyone could stop him, he had him pushed up against a wall, holding him by his shirt.

“Quentin,” Ava stepped in immediately, hand on his shoulder.

“Sara told me you put your hands on her, grabbing her wrist so she couldn't move after she pushed you away and off of her. She told me you kissed her without her permission, when she didn't want you to.”

Ava's hand fell back along her side. That, Sara had not mentioned to her.

“You touch her again, or I hear you've done something similar to Laurel, I'll make sure you have no fingers left to touch another woman ever again in your life. You understand, boy?”

Oliver was quick to nod frantically.

After that, Quentin was quick to head off, Ava quick on his heels. Something told her, this wasn't quite the end of it just yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be travelling on Sunday evening, if I can I'll update in the afternoon, otherwise you might have to wait until Monday, sorry! If you wanna know what you thought about this chapter feel free to do so, please!


	35. The very best

Ava got to work later than usual, having marched to the Queen's mansion to convince Robert to stop whatever he had planned. When she got to the school, she was still reeling.

Fortunately, she saw Rip and Nate talking over some of the blueprints, so she walked to them and made a gesture for them to follow her to the side. When they were at least thirty yards from the nearest man, she started pacing back and forth.

“Forget everything I told you yesterday Nate,” she said, one hand on her chin as she thought about what the next step should be. “I'll run for Governor.”

“Was that ever in doubt?” Rip raised an eyebrow, then turned to Nate when Ava just kept pacing, completely ignoring him.

“Why the change of heart?” Nate asked instead of answering.

Ava scoffed. “It turns out, it does not matters at all if you cannot dig up dirt on someone clean, because you can always make some up as you please,” she stopped, turned to them and shook her head. “I absolutely cannot believe the nerve Mr Queen has.”

Nate and Rip exchanged and anxious look when she started pacing again.

“He's such a... such an _idiot_!”

“Okay,” Nate stepped to her, putting his hands on her shoulders to stop her from pacing around. “While I wholeheartedly agree with the sentiment, we probably shouldn't be saying this so loudly in the middle of the street. So, using a calmer voice, what has he done?”

Ava scoffed again. “He's threatening Sara, armed with nothing but his lies and his stupidity. John Diggle had made a deal for him to finance the campaign and this appeared to be his insurance I wouldn't run.”

“Good Lord, what kind of lies could he spread, she's a civilian!” Rip almost chuckled, some of the tension leaving his shoulders.

“The kind who can ruin a woman's life around this bigoted, gossip-loving city,” Ava scolded, then resumed her pacing.

“Well, have you spoken with him?” Nate asked.

“I have. But something about the way he easily relented didn't convince me. Diggle said he won't run if he has to do it with lies, Oliver said he would back up Sara, and Thea retracted everything she had said before,” _going as far as to lie to protect them_, Ava thought but didn't say.

“My God, he's already involved this many people in his schemes?!” Rip tensed again.

“I need to write to Nora, tell her what has been going on. We need for her to be on our side, but I've no doubts she is, her and Mr Palmer both. The problem is, if he goes forth with his plan, if he spreads this despite not having anyone to back up his allegations, he knows I'll throw my career away to stop him, and then he'll be able to pick the nearest puppet to put in the Governor's spot.”

“What is he saying that has you on the path of war? Yesterday you were strongly set on wanting peace,” Nate wondered.

“I was. When I thought peace would benefit everyone. But if he has his way, this will be Starling's undoing, this will become a city for the richest only, with shimmering, splendid city squares and no public schools.”

“So how can we make sure we shut him up?” Rip waited for instructions.

The problem was, there were no instructions worth giving.

“I don't know. I don't- he's made me so helpless. This isn't something I can fight fairly or I can simply brush off as not true. Simply because he's made this not about me, but about someone I'm fond of, there's nothing to do but hope he'll have some sense knocked into him.”

Ava knew pig would sooner fly than Robert Queen would become a sensible man.

  
  


At the end of her work day, she made her way to the Lance's home instead of her own, wanting to speak to Quentin and hoping to see Sara.

Dinah and Quentin both came to the door, letting her inside before shutting it again.

“How is she?”

“She's not leaving her room,” Dinah answered. “She has barely eaten anything all day, and... well, she told us the truth about everything that's been going on after you left last night, but she hasn't said much else since.”

Ava frowned. “About her and Mr Queen? I've heard something you said to him this morning and I- I must admit I didn't know the whole story. If I had, I...” _what_? What would she have done if she had known Oliver had kissed Sara when she didn't want to be kissed? That he had grabbed her when she was trying to push him away? Something regrettable, surely.

“She mentioned meeting you. Before you left Starling for the front. She said she had always kept hope you would eventually come back for her,” Quentin continued his wife's assessment of the situation. “Ava, this changes things somewhat.”

The General was ready to defend the omitted truths they hadn't shared in the name of a private promise made between two kids, but Quentin stopped her before she could.

“If you've been sure about this for that long, it changes _everything_. Not now, and not soon either, because we need for this to quiet down before doing anything,” he cautioned, “but when things settle down, if you two are still set on this, you should ask her to marry you and get engaged. If Laurel and Oliver make up their mind, that is.”

Ava hesitated, but nodded. What else could she say? She didn't want to wait until then, but she'd have to, and for Sara she would have waited for as long as it took, longer even if Sara had wanted her to.

“May I...” she didn't know if she should ask. “May I see her?”

Quentin's eyes softened slightly at the timid request coming from someone so imposing.

“I'll show you in,” he led the way to Sara's room and knocked on it. When permission came he opened it and gestured for Ava to walk in, waiting on the threshold, not moving away but not walking inside.

Sara was looking out the window, not even turning when Ava approached her.

She took a moment to glance around the room and it was immediately clear to her that it was so blatantly _Sara_: from the papers scattered on her desk to the trinkets lying on every flat surface, little reminders of people and things she loved.

But Sara herself looked so small and lost. There were so many things Ava had been wanting to say to her, how she would have punched Oliver Queen in the face if she'd known the whole truth, how she wished she could go back to that night at the tavern and step inside that room and plant herself between the two of them, so this would have been over then and there, before really starting. How she knew this to be her fault for more reasons than just that one. How she knew Robert was after her and how incredibly sorry she was. How she loved Sara more than words could fathom and because of it, because of how she always carried Sara in her heart, she could see already that Sara was trying to push Ava out of her own.

Instead, without saying anything, she knelt down on one knee in front of her and touched Sara's hand gently with her own. Sara turned, then immediately squeezed Ava's hand in both of hers.

“You're here.”

“Of course, I wanted to see how you were faring.”

Sara frowned, not sure she knew how to answer that.

“I spoke to Oliver, he won't lie for his father, Sara. He told the truth to Colonel Diggle and to your father, this morning.”

“It doesn't matter. Robert will tell anyone who will listen to him whatever slander he's set his mind to,” Sara shook her head, retreating her hands from Ava. “And it's _your_ fault.”

“Sara!” Quentin spoke up for the first time, taking a step forward, but Ava didn't seem deterred by the accusation at all, as if she'd seen the blow come from a mile away, stopping him with only a patient look and a slight shake of her head.

“It is. And I'm sorry, I'm sorry he's coming after you to ruin me. I'm sorry he took a blind shot and somehow managed to pick the person who matters most to me in the whole world. I wish I had been more careful in showing how partial I am to your company, or how fond of you I am, although I cannot think of one single person I've shown even a tenth of my feeling's dept for you.”

Sara seemed to hesitate, to regret her words, to be on the verge of taking everything back, but then she shook her head and closed her eyes.

“It's your fault. I don't want to see you anymore, I want you to stop caring for me,” she ordered with a steady voice, eyes opening again to look down at her own hands only after the words had been pushed out.

Ava felt tears in her eyes and had to bit the insides of her cheeks to refrain from letting out every emotion she had been feeling through the day.

Gently, she took Sara's left hand in both of hers. Sara let her, to her surprise.

“Don't think I'm not perfectly aware of what you're trying to do. If you do truly wish so in your heart, I shall commit from now forth to avoid imposing my presence on you, at the best of my abilities. But if you're doing this because you think this is best for me, I'm asking you, _begging_ you, to reconsider. Because as I've told you before, there's nothing in this world worth anything to me compared to you, nothing that brings me an ounce of serenity if not your presence, nothing has ever silenced my fears the way you've done.”

Sara's eyes finally met hers, desperate and lost.

“And as per your second request, I'm afraid that won't be possible at all. I can stop seeing you, if that is what you wish, but I cannot stop caring for you. I've told you, Sara, there's never going to be anyone else but you in my heart. Even when I'm not in yours anymore. Even if we part today and tomorrow you're not fond of me anymore and instead grow fond of someone else-”

Sara swatted Ava's shoulder with her free hand and Quentin took another step before he saw the faint smile on Ava's face.

“Oh, have I said something you don't like? But we _will_ be apart, once I'm out of your heart. You've said so yourself, and if you're not fond of me anymore-”

Another swat came and Sara looked anything but amused.

“Stop. Stop saying it.”

Ava bowed her head to kiss Sara's hand that was still held in both of her own.

“I preferred you when you were unsure of my feelings for you and I could ask anything of you and you would do it without questioning it. You're making letting you go so unbearably hard.”

Ava looked up into her eyes, softness and tears mixing into an odd looking adoring gaze that made Sara wish for, _yearn_ for, even, a different path than the one they'd been put on.

“You don't mean that, I was giving you what you asked before because I didn't know what you wanted. Now that I do, how can I deny you what you want just so I can do what you ask, when what you're asking is so unfair to yourself?”

Sara closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and knew what she had to do. She looked at Ava again, sad and distant already, despite their hands still tangled together.

“What if I do mean it? What if I want you gone from my life not to save your career but so he won't have a reason to hurt me?”

“I'd say that's wise of you and fair to ask of me,” she answered, letting go of Sara's hand to fish her watch out of her pocket, untying its chain from her jacket and carefully putting it into Sara's hand, making her cling onto it, then kissing her knuckles gently one last time. “And I'd say I wish things could be different, of course, but if this is the way they are I'll do my best to accept them.”

Ava got up, thanking Quentin quietly for letting her see Sara. She stopped to look back at her and Sara saw her hand graze on the outside of her jacket's pocket, like she did when she stopped to feel her watch inside it. Sara's hand tightened around it, knowing Ava wouldn't be able to feel it there anymore.

Turning again, she walked out of the house without saying anything else at all. By some miracle, she made it all the way back into her own home, before the tears in her eyes actually started to fall down.

For the first time in weeks, it really felt like they were truly, actually apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This probably goes against Geneva conventions since it's... it's pure and utter torture and I'm sorry. But I do hope you enjoyed the dialogues (although it was angsty as hell)!


	36. The reaping

Sara melted into her father's arms as soon as she heard the front door shut, crying every tear, letting out every sob she had been keeping inside from the moment she saw Ava.

“I've told you, I've told you we'd let you get married to her. Why?”

Quentin felt tears start forming in his eyes after a few moments of hearing his daughter sobbing in his arms.

“Because I have to be strong enough to do what's best for her,” Sara explained, once the tears subsided somewhat.

“This isn't what's best, it can't be if it makes you both so miserable.”

“She will be fine, she will have everything she has worked for.”

“Will you?”

He regretted the question the moment it left his lips, knowing nothing Sara could answer would make either of them feel better.

“How could I, dad? The thought of being parted from her, it poisons me. Nothing could take her from me, not the distance, the time we've spent so far from each other, not the war. Not even our own stubbornness. And this man- he took her from me. I can't let him crush her dreams, I can't fight him or wait him out like we've done with war and time, if I don't let him win he'll take from me the one thing I want more than her. Her happiness.”

Quentin bit his tongue, hugged her tighter. How could life be so cruel to two people who had always been so kind?

  
  


Her tears ran out eventually, leaving place for the heaviness that set in her heart as she kept looking at the pocket watch Ava had left her with.

It was the one thing Sara had given her that Ava brought with her whenever she went. She would touch her vest or her jacket for comfort, she would smile when looking down at the time. It made Sara go insane that she had given it up, given it back to her.

The same fear she had when Ava suggested she shouldn't go by the house anymore, because Gary could water the plants instead, rose again in her chest: the fear Ava would soon forget about her, that her heart would close back the way it was when Sara spoke to her that first day Ava had come by. That it would be locked away again, and the key would be lost forever, without anyone ever able to reach it again.

  
  


When she heard a knock at her door, she barely flinched. Laurel didn't wait for her permission before she walked in, sitting beside Sara on her bed, glancing down at the clock Sara was still holding in her hands.

“I shouldn't have believed him,” she whispered.

“I shouldn't have lied to you, I should have told you when he kissed me. I am... so sorry, and if I could take it back, I hope you know I would. Not for the pain it has caused me, but for the pain it has caused _you_.”

“It hurt me, Sara. I felt my world shatter, because although I knew he could hurt me this way already, I never imagined you could. But I know the truth, now, I know it was before he and I courted. And I won't lie and say I never knew you had your eye set on him first. I should have never let him come between us, it was my mistake as well.”

“It wasn't. You love him, and I understand it now, what it means to never want to be apart from someone, to be shaken by the thought of them in someone else's heart. I never meant to cause you harm and I'll never hurt you this way again. I love you, Laurel, you're the best sister one could wish for.”

“I love you as well, you know I do. We'll get past this, Sara. We will.”

Laurel hugged her as Sara kept whispering apologies until both of them were drained and tired and finally could see the other's side of matters. Eventually, as the silence spread between them, Laurel's eyes darted again to Sara's hands. She was sure she had seen that watch before.

“It's hers, isn't it? She left it with you?”

“It was a gift, I gave it to her when she made General. I suppose... she doesn't want it anymore, now that I've told her we have to stop seeing each other.”

Laurel frowned, not really understanding what was going on in Sara's mind.

“Why did you tell her that? Sara, I swear to you, I've never seen a person love another the way Ava loves you.”

“What will happen to this town if Colonel Diggle, or whomever else Mr Queen controls, becomes the next Governor? Dad says she's vowed to prevent it from happening, that she'll be Governor so he won't divert essential funds. If she cares for me, she won't. Because I have no doubt Mr Queen would say anything to take me away from her, or to ruin me – and her in the process – if he can't do the former.”

“So you'll let him win?”

“What else can I do? I'll always love her, but I cannot be with her. Maybe, once she's Governor, if I'm lucky enough and if it's not too late, maybe she can forgive me then. Maybe she'll understand.”

  
  


What had started to bother her more and more about Ava giving her the watch back, wasn't the watch itself. It was the fact that, if she opened it and saw her note still inside, it would mean Ava had given her back that promise. The promise she could see Sara everyday, she could be with Sara everyday.

Sara had asked for it back, essentially, hadn't she? And Ava had complied, granting her request even if doing so had made her look so heartbroken.

It took Sara almost a day of having it in her hands to finally find the courage to open it up and look inside it. And there it was, the note. The promise she'd broken. Her own heart felt like it had been broken along with it.

Carefully, slowly, she slipped the paper out, unfolding it just to torture herself. She jolted upright in her bed when she saw it wasn't her note at all. It wasn't her writing at all. And the meaning of the gesture, of Ava giving the watch back to her, was suddenly very different from the one she had thought it to be.

As she felt hope rise in her heart, she tried to push it back down, so far that it could never resurface again.

  
  


_There's nothing in this world that is worth anything to me compared to you._

_ – Ava_

  
  


There was a knock at the door just before dusk. Sara hid behind the corner to listen in as Quentin went to answer the door.

“Mr Green. Good evening.”

“Captain Lance, I'm sorry to bother you, the General was home from work earlier today and, since Miss Lance said she would reap the lettuce this week, she elected to do so herself with the spare time she had. She said she didn't want them to go to waste, but didn't want Miss Lance to feel obliged to come and reap them herself either.”

He handed Quentin the two baskets of fresh salads he had brought along.

“There are as much as these yet to be reaped, I'll bring them by tomorrow or as soon as the General reaps those as well.”

“It's very kind of you, but you should keep the rest.”

Gary hesitated, then sighed. “Miss Wu suggested something similar, but the General said these are Miss Lance's, and she should dispose of them as convenient. It seemed to me, I hope you won't mind me saying this, that she didn't want to have to look at them anymore. I think perhaps she isn't partial to lettuce.”

Quentin chuckled lightly, but his heart wasn't in it. “Maybe not. I'll see you tomorrow, thank you again.”

Gary smiled, then walked away. When her father closed the door and turned, he saw her standing there, staring down at the baskets in his hands like he was bringing snakes into the house, like they contained something dangerous and horrific.

“You should bring those in town tomorrow. Give them to the orphanage, leave just one or two, so we can finish them before they go bad,” Sara told him, then walked into her room again, shutting the door behind herself.

  
  


When Gary went by the following day, bringing the Lance's the rest of the salad, Quentin thanked him and was about to close the door again when Sara called for him.

“Wait. I need a favour, Mr Green.”

Gary smiled at her, nodding. If he noticed her red eyes and the dark circles under her eyes, he had the good sense not to comment on them.

Sara looked down, at the watch in her hand.

Her throat felt like it was closing and her eyes started watering again, but she had made up her mind about this already.

“I need you to give this back to General Sharpe.”

Carefully, she put the watch into his hand, fingers trembling a little once she was at last separated from it.

“Oh. Are you sure? It seems quite a good watch.”

“Yes,” Sara nodded. “I've no use for it.”

Without adding anything else she turned on her heels and walked away before Gary could see the tears in her eyes start to fall on her cheeks.

  
  


“Miss Lance sends this back for you. She said she has no use for it.”

Ava looked down at it, remembering how happy she had been Sara had gifted it to her. How happy she'd been when Sara gave her that note. And how sure she was her own note would mean something to Sara, that it could let her hope again.

What a fool she had been.

“Thank you, Gary.”

The watch, it was just a watch to Sara.

She walked to her desk, unlocking the first drawer of it, the one where she kept her most valuable belongings.

She tried not to let her eyes fall on the ring box inside it, not wanting to think about having to leave it there forever. Instead, she took out the note she had been keeping inside the watch. She opened the clock, taking out the new one and putting the old one back.

She wondered if Sara had even read it, if she had even saw it. If she had, the words she told Gary would be much harsher, much more hurtful. She opened the note, hoping to find some sort of answer inside it, but instead she only found more questions than the ones she had been asking herself already.

  
  


_We'll find each other again. Maybe you can forgive me then._

_ – Sara_

  
  


Ava felt tears on her cheeks, as she folded the note carefully, precisely, putting it with the one already inside the watch.

She knew Sara was doing this so she could run without Robert interfering in either of their lives, and she had to go along with it so he wouldn't hurt Sara anymore than he already had. But it was so hard, it was so hard to give up the thing she loved most in the world.

But if it kept Sara safe, then there was no other option at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is still sad, but you knew some angst was coming and they need to let things settle before finding their way back to each other. I hope you'll stick with me <3


	37. The Fair

Ava had never been a big fan of winter. She never liked the cold and had mostly had to spend the holidays by herself when she was little. The previous year, despite being back around this same time of the year, she hadn't attended the town's Winter Fair, held on the last November weekend.

But Nate had stressed how it would help her future campaign if she was seen around it this year, he even offered to walk there together and Ava could do nothing but accept, because there was nothing for her left to do with her life but give this campaign her best shot.

The Jiwe's were tending to their tavern's cart all through Saturday, so Ava and Nate were left wandering around, not really knowing how to spend their time except greeting people and shaking hands, all for a higher purpose.

When she passed by Iris and Barry's cart, they smiled at her enthusiastically. When they asked her how she was, there was no way to not get what they were actually asking. She deflected, then moved on, praying there would be no other incidents.

She was fine until the early afternoon, when she saw Oliver talking to Laurel and Sara in front of the tavern's cart.

Ava hated it, hated that he could be so selfish, that he had no qualms about speaking with them in public, when things were still so frail.

When Sara looked her way and their eyes met, Ava averted her eyes immediately, hands going to the pocket of her coat instinctively, before she could stop herself. The same gesture that had brought her comfort all those times, now made her throat feel tighter and her heart feel heavier.

“I should go,” she choked out, trying to make her smile appear genuine to Nate. “I think I've said hello to pretty much everyone and I have some things I have to attend to back home.”

“General,” Robert Queen's voice had on her the same effect of a cold shower. “Nice to see you again. Mr Heywood,” he shook both of their hands. “I saw my son has just arrived, perhaps you want to say hi?” His voice was loud enough that Ava wasn't the only one who heard him. “He's a bit late, he had to walk East, to pick up the Lance's,” he added with a malicious smirk.

The hand he had on Ava's shoulder felt like fire, burning through her coat and her shirt, scolding her skin. She was about to crush said hand when she saw a lot of people around them watching the interaction closely. Oh, how she wanted to teach him some manners and some respect, and how to speak to a General, but she knew full well who would suffer the consequences if she put him in his place.

So she took a step aside, slipping away from his touch, with the pretence of letting Nate catch up and walk between them, but followed him while smiling to the stand-byers, trying not to let him see how much it hurt her to go along with it.

“Mr Queen,” she greeted Oliver shaking his hand, then Nate did the same. “It's nice to see you again, your father insisted we greeted. I was on my way home, I'll see you around.”

“Why the rush?” Robert asked. “I believe you know the Lance sisters?”

“Yes, of course, how rude of me. Miss Lance, Miss Lance,” Ava nodded to them, not daring to offer her hand or to meet their eyes.

When Robert touched her shoulder again and not so subtly led her a few feet past them, Ava clenched her jaw and tried not to react.

“I cannot tell you the pleasure it brings me to have defeated you without even having to go through with my plan,” he whispered to her.

Ava felt desperate, helpless.

“Have you?” She rasped out. “Defeated me? You took from me the one thing holding me back. I've nothing to lose anymore, and if you thought I was a dangerous opponent before, now that you have no candidate and no lies to tell, you should re-evaluate.”

Robert seemed angered, but let go of her shoulder so he could face her, eyes cold.

“I don't need a candidate, I can make Oliver run.”

Ava had to chuckle at that. “I'm glad to see you've resigned yourself to having me as your Governor. Listen very carefully to my words,” she took a step toward him, so her voice could be barely a whisper. “I _will_ be elected, I will seize all your wealth and sell all your properties, I'll use the money to build so many shelters for the poor across this State that you'll barely recognize it anymore. I will take from you _exactly_ what you took from me,” Ava put a hand on his shoulder and smiled at him, “everything in this world that matters to you, consider it gone already.”

Nate walked to them just then and Ava stepped away from him, adjusting her coat.

“You think you know power, old man? You've used up what small bit of it you had. Let me show you what power looks like.”

She turned and left, Nate quickly trying to catch up to her, immediately asking what had possessed her to say something like that to Robert Queen. Ava was glad nobody had heard what she had said a moment earlier, because she was sure Nate wouldn't have liked it a bit.

But after all, even if he did rely the threat to someone, who would believe his word over Ava's? He had spent so much time lying, not even his own children believed him anymore.

Whatever game he had been setting up the whole time, Ava was ready to start playing it.

They had to stop by the shop to greet Mrs and Mr Tomaz, then they went back to the tavern's cart so they could say their goodbyes to the Jiwe's twins. Zari, Behrad, Sara and Laurel were talking to them. Ava stopped Nate by touching his shoulder.

“Perhaps it's best I don't come with you. I've given my word to Miss Lance I'd stay out of her way and this would mean breaking it twice the same day.”

Nate frowned. “Why would you promise her that, I thought-”

“Hey, Ava!” Zari's voice put an end to the conversation. She waved them over, Ava hesitated but she couldn't do much else but go. “So, it took a little longer than planned, but me and Behrad made you this.”

Zari fetched something from her pocket and handed it to Ava. She frowned but looked at it closely, then chuckled.

“I can't believe you remembered.”

“Remembered what?” Amaya asked, peeking curiously at the round wooden object Ava was turning in her palm.

“When we were kids, like ten or eleven, Ava told us she wanted to become the highest ranking soldier in the city so she could protect everyone. Of course, we didn't know what that would be so Behrad and I just started calling her Super Colonel Sharpe.”

“Since you made it to General, we thought it counted as a Super Colonel, so we made you a badge for your birthday,” Behrad chuckled.

Ava smiled, thanking them both.

“It's your birthday?” Laurel asked, frowning.

“It's, uh, tomorrow, I suppose. It must've slipped from my mind completely, the days have gone by too fast this week,” she forced a laugh, eyes still fixed on the fake medal because she didn't want to have to look at Sara if she forced them up.

“You forgot?!” Zari scolded. “Oh, come on, we have to celebrate, it's an important day.”

Ava felt like she could barely breathe.

“Not this year, Zari. Thank you immensely for this, I'll cherish it forever. I really must be on my way, but I wish you all a pleasant evening.”

She smiled to Zari and Behrad, patted Nate's shoulder and left, as quick as her feet would carry her, putting as much distance she could between herself and the Fair.

  
  


Ava had spent the better part of Sunday riding with Waverider. Instead of the bay, they headed East and South. Ava kept telling herself it was just because it was too cold to be near the water.

She tried not to think about how she could never set foot there again. About how even the thought of the bay now meant to her something completely different, how if she closed her eyes she could still feel Sara's hands on her cheeks, or her laugh in the air around her, or how her lips felt against Ava's.

She tried to find peace, serenity, now she knew what it was supposed to feel like, but the faster she rode, the further she went, the clearer it became she had no idea what she was looking for.

She tried not to wonder if Sara was thinking about her, or about what life would be like without Ava. In all the years they'd been apart, she'd never felt so far away. Not even when she was sure Sara would never love her back, because even then she was certain she would always be free to love Sara her whole life.

Now, she couldn't.

She couldn't even speak to her in public, or at all.

So Ava tried not to think about her at all, she tried not to mind the constant ache, the longing, the fact she was feeling homesick in her own house these days.

But as fast and as far as she got, those feelings stayed in her heart, poisoning her blood.

  
  


She was walking back home, trotting slowly up the road, when she saw something that caught her eyes even from a distance.

There was someone, sitting on the low wall, on the side of the road that went from downtown to the East. She felt a pang in her heart when she realized it was the same spot where, years before, she had met Sara Lance for the very first time.

And now, years later, there she was. Sitting in the spot where Ava had sat, looking off into the fields Ava had been staring into. Except there was no war and a long past connecting them. But one thing hadn't change: the way seeing Sara took her breath away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did say things needed to get sadder before getting happier....
> 
> (On a sad note: I'm having dinner at my relative's on Thursday so probably next update will be on Sunday, sorry guys)
> 
> Thoughts?


	38. The ghost

Sara hadn't left the house the whole week. Why should she? There was nowhere she wanted to be but in Ava's arms. And that was a place she had banned herself from, probably for the rest of her life.

When Laurel forced her to get dressed on Saturday, to accompany her to the Fair, Sara had protested with all her might. She hated the idea of having to be around people who knew nothing about the devastation in her heart, of having to conceal how broken she was feeling.

But Laurel begged her, telling her Quentin wouldn't let her go alone with Oliver, and Sara still felt like she owed her sister something, so she went with them.

They had barely arrived, when she saw Robert pulling Ava along, knowing she couldn't just shove him off herself.

She looked terrible. She was pale and had dark circles under her eyes, a tiredness into her step Sara barely recalled ever seeing after full days of hard work, let alone on a Saturday afternoon. Ava looked like a shadow of herself.

When Robert steered her and Nate toward them, Sara had to bit her cheek to not start screaming at him to get his hands off of her.

Ava greeted them, not meeting their eyes, shaking Oliver's hand. Sara had never seen her so dejected, so aloof. When Robert led her away, Sara almost grabbed his wrist to crush it in her hand, she didn't know how she managed to hold back.

She saw Ava telling him something quietly, then something louder as Nate went to defuse the situation.

Oliver hurried them down the Fair before his father could come back, telling them to go find their friends as he dealt with his old man. Sara and Laurel got to the Jiwe's cart and started up a conversation, soon joined by Zari and Behrad.

When Zari started waving at someone, Sara turned to see Nate trying to get Ava closer as she shook her head and, eventually, relented when she saw Zari waving at her.

She looked on as Zari handed her something, as Ava accepted it, as they discussed the meaning of it.

Then, Ava admitted the following day was her birthday, with a lost frown adorning her face. Had she really just paid so little attention to the days going by she almost forgot her own birthday? Sara honestly didn't doubt it. She didn't look like herself.

As she watched Ava make an excuse and walk away, dread and worry started to fill the void in her chest. She had seen Ava's face, her eyes, when she was speaking to Robert. She finally saw it, the Colonel– the General, everyone talked about. The cold, calculating woman who could win an hopeless battle and make it look easy. The soldier.

Sara remembered Nora explaining to her how Ava had locked her heart away for years, how she coped and made it through. She asked herself if this was the case again, if Ava was locking away her affection for Sara in order to be able to face war again.

Because that was what was happening: Ava told her she wouldn't run if it had to be a fight, then found herself in the middle of it despite her intentions, without Sara by her side.

It hit her then, how in trying to make the best decision for Ava, Sara had ended up completely crushing her heart along with her own.

  
  


“You know she was never going to marry you, don't you?”

Robert's voice made her stop dead in her tracks. She had decided she'd had enough of the Fair and wanted to go back home, but she hadn't even made it to the East road when he materialized at her side.

“She wanted from you the exact same thing my son wanted from you. And that was never marriage.”

Sara took a step toward him, jaw tight and eyes ablaze.

“I'm sure I have no idea whom and what you're talking about, Mr Queen.”

He chuckled. “Oh, of course you don't. Perhaps you've lost track of whom you're courting this month. I admit for a moment I thought she was special to you, but perhaps she's always known she was nothing but a second best in your heart. You should thank me, really. She's left you alone and Oliver should be looking for a wife soon, I don't think your sister will want to marry him, but maybe you should. Who else would?”

She stepped to him, ready to hit him, when Laurel's voice calling her name from her left stopped her mid step. She quickly turned to Robert again.

“You've had what you wanted, Mr Queen. Please, leave me and my family alone.”

She hurried to Laurel, dragging her up the street without a word of explanation as of why they were suddenly leaving in a hurry.

  
  


She barely closed her eyes at all that night, she kept thinking about Robert's words, about Ava's dimmed eyes, about her own unhappiness.

When morning came, she felt so tired and lost it took all her energy just to get dressed. By the time the afternoon came around, she had made up her mind.

She had to talk to Ava, just one time, one last time. So she could be honest with her, tell her the plan she hadn't dared to utter in her father's presence, tell her what was going on in her mind, just in case Ava didn't know already.

But as she got dressed and headed to the Sharpe's land, she saw the house looked empty even from afar. She got there and knocked on the door, waited and knocked again. But nobody came to the door. Eventually, she had to walk back, resigned to the fact she might have missed her chance.

She sat down on the low wall, in the point her and Ava had spoken for the first time ever and she closed her eyes. How happy, how in love they had been, even if it was for such a short time. How lucky she was to have met someone like Ava, the woman who taught her what love was, what it could be.

She thought back to Laurel's words and found herself agreeing wholeheartedly: she had never met someone who loved someone else the way they loved each other.

She opened her eyes again when she felt someone sit down beside her. She turned her head and, for a moment, she was sure she was dreaming. Ava was close enough that she could touch her, if she so wished. Close enough she could hug her, kiss her. Although her eyes looked dimmer and further than ever.

“Hi.”

“Good evening, Miss Lance.”

Ava calling her that sounded wrong to her ears in a way that was impossible to articulate. It was just them there, just the two of them. She was supposed to just be Sara when there was just the two of them. She used to be, at least.

“I've gone to your house, there was no one there.”

“I've given Gary and Mona a few days off. I was making them miserable as well, sulking around, even snapping at Gary once or twice. I've asked them to go visit their own families for the holidays, they left Friday and they'll be back after the New Year.”

“You'll be alone, all of next month?”

“I don't mind it. In fact, I should get used it. I plan on having the house to myself for the foreseeable future.”

Sara remembered talking about snoring, feet dragging, sunshine hitting the windows in the wrong way. All of that was gone, now.

“You know I _had_ to, don't you? I had to say those things, to make sure my father, my sister, knew we're not seeing each other anymore. We had to make sure Mr Queen- _everyone_ thought nothing was going on between us.”

“Nothing _is_ going on between us,” Ava pointed out.

“So you could run, have the things you've worked for,” Sara explained.

“I've told you I didn't want that,” Ava sighed, eyes still lost ahead, not looking at Sara.

“I know you, Ava. I know it would have killed you to let Robert choose who got to be Governor next, it would have killed you not to run. Look at me,” Sara pleaded. “Look into my eyes and tell me your first instinct once you've found out Queen and Colonel Diggle were behind what Laurel said wasn't to run and win so they'd never get the power to harm people.”

Instead of looking at her as Sara asked, Ava's eyes closed.

“You know I can't.”

She felt gentle fingers graze her jaw, she opened her eyes and seconded the movement turning to finally, finally look at Sara after days of avoiding her.

“Then run, and win. And then come back to me.”

She had no right. No right to ask Ava to promise her this again, no right after what she had chosen to do. She had no right of wanting back that promise, that same promise that she had cherished for years, that she had valued so much and treasured until it was fulfilled. But she asked anyway.

They were on that same wall, roughly in the same spot, so it was only fitting that Sara had the courage to ask as much of Ava again.

“You know I'm always by your side, for better or for worse. We've had our good days, these just so happen to be our bad days. It doesn't mean I'm going anywhere, it doesn't mean I'm moving on, it doesn't mean I'm not absolutely certain you're the love of my life.”

“We're not married,” Ava reminded her, not sounding convinced at all. “Better or worse is for marriage. We're not married.”

“We're as good as married in my heart,” Sara reminded her of the same thing she'd told her when Ava had confessed to her she might not want to run.

For a moment, Ava got lost in everything that Sara was. In her touch, in her soft eyes, in her charming words. But to believe her would be to hope again, and hope had done nothing but crush her, up until this very point.

She got up, tugging Waverider along.

“Goodbye, Miss Lance.”

Sara kept watching as she walked away, feeling hopeless, helpless, not knowing how to fix something she had broken with her own hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the Holiday Delay buddies, I got carried away by family celebrations and all that, but... happy 2020! Angst almost over and this is Sara's POV of last chapter's events so it also serves as a reminder of where we left off!
> 
> Thoughts?


	39. The birthday

The house really was too big and empty. She had tried not to go there, but she had found herself in her study not long after returning home – after she had made sure Waverider was set for the night and after some supper for herself – opening up the first drawer and fishing out the ring box she had hidden there.

She had been so sure, back then, that nothing could ever come between them. What a fool, she'd been, never accounting for themselves.

The ring itself was made up of a silver band, holding one diamond in the middle and, on its sides, two sapphires roughly the same size. It was just particular enough that she immediately thought of Sara when she saw it.

She felt so stupid looking at it now.

A knock at the door made her snap out of her daydream. She put the ring back and locked the drawer, wondering who could be visiting so late in the evening. It was dark already and past dinner time. She thought, perhaps, it would be Captain Hunter with some news from upstate, or maybe Nate coming to discuss some matter he'd forgotten about.

But as she opened the door, what she saw paralysed her.

“Sara?”

The girl was almost shivering, in the November air with the same light coat she'd been wearing during the Fair the day before.

As Ava opened the door wider, she stepped inside, seeking the warmth of the house. Ava shut the door, instinctively going to warm up her arms with her own hands, stopping just an inch short of going through with it.

“What are you doing here? Does Captain Lance know you've left after dark?”

Sara shook her head, looking unsure.

“He doesn't. It wasn't planned, a moment I was in my room, thinking. Next thing I knew I was halfway here already and my feet were carrying me on their own volition.”

Ava's eyebrow raised. It did sound like Sara to do something spontaneous, of course, but not without reason. So which reason did she have?

“What's the matter?”

Sara wouldn't meet her eyes, she held her coat closer as a shiver ran through her.

“I shouldn't have bothered you, you're probably busy. I should go, this is inappropriate, I shouldn't have-”

“Sara, you're shivering,” Ava tried to calm her down, to reason with her that going back outside into the night right that instant probably wasn't for the best.

Resigned to the torture she was about to impose on herself, she stepped closer, running her hands up and down Sara's arms, trying to warm her up.

“At least ask for whatever made you come all the way here,” she whispered, thinking quickly about wether she might have forgotten to reap some of the plants or to bring some of them to Sara, but she couldn't think of anything amiss. “What are you here for?”

Sara finally met her eyes, blinking twice. She let out a long breath, then shrugged helplessly.

“You. I'm here for you.”

Ava's hands stopped rubbing her arms and instead grasped her elbows softly, needing something to anchor her to the present, because that admission could have been enough to make her float away if she wasn't careful.

“I forgot to say something before, something important,” Sara admitted.

“Oh,” Ava nodded, trying not to feel disappointed. “Well, I'm listening, if you need to say it now,” she encouraged.

Of course, Sara would need to say it, Ava reasoned. She had come all that way just to rely this information to her, so it must have been crucial, vital.

“Happy birthday, General Sharpe.”

For a moment, everything stood still. Ava was sure she'd heard wrong, or perhaps Sara hadn't spoken at all and she had just imagined it. But as she looked into Sara's eyes, she knew she hadn't been mistaken.

Sara had gone to her because she had forgotten to wish Ava a happy birthday, just because of that she'd made the walk again, at night.

It made Ava melt a little and she knew the love and adoration she'd been trying to conceal for a week was pouring through her eyes. There was no concealing it, like there was no concealing the sea or the sky. Something so big, it couldn't go unnoticed for long.

“Sara,” her voice was low, raspy, like she hadn't used it days.

Perhaps she hadn't, not to say Sara's name like that.

Sara wasn't sure if it had been the way Ava had said her name, or the lively light in her eyes, suddenly back after Sara had looked for it every time she had seen Ava those two days. Maybe it was just Ava, being so close to her, being the same she had always been.

Almost as soon as she uttered the word, Sara's hands were framing her face. She got up on her toes and pressed her lips to Ava's, just once. When she leaned back, Ava followed the movement, prompting Sara to peck her lips a second time.

A shaky breath left Ava's lips as she looked into Sara's eyes, that looked so clear, so sure, so unlike her own. Before she realized fully what she was doing, she bowed her head again, kissing Sara more surely, pushing her delicately until her back hit the wall.

Sara's hands were still on her cheeks, keeping her close, guiding her along. She parted her lips and the moment her tongue met Sara's she felt her knees go weak. It was a new feeling, to kiss Sara like this, as none of their previous kiss had ever been this full of passion or urgency.

She pressed her body against Sara's, one hand on the wall behind her, the other on Sara's waist. She felt one of Sara's hand push against her chest and immediately, she leaned back.

An apology was already on the tip of her tongue, but it was swallowed again as Sara leaned forward to discard her coat quickly and then pulled Ava closer again, one hand tugging the lapel of her shirt, the other pulling her closer by pushing on her back.

Ava complied, melting into Sara again, kissing her like it was the first, the last, the only time they would be able to do this. Like nothing mattered but them, this moment they shared.

When the need for air became unbearable, she leaned back, kissing Sara's cheekbone, then her jaw, then the side of her neck. She got to the point where her neck and her shoulder met and bit down lightly, feeling Sara's gasp right next to her ear, feeling her trying to pull Ava closer.

She let Sara guide her own body closer to hers, then kissed the side of her neck again, grazing the skin with her teeth. The sound Sara made, soft and breathy and high pitched, was enough to break whatever spell it was that she had let herself be put under.

As Ava leaned back, she kept her hand on Sara's shoulder to make sure some distance was put between them. The smaller woman's hand on her shirt was pulling her in, so they ended up standing still close, looking into each other's eyes. Sara knew what Ava was about to say before she could open her mouth to actually do so.

She pushed off the wall easily winning the resistance Ava's hand was applying, and stepped into Ava's arms, her face hidden against the General's neck.

“Don't ask me to go, I thought I could do this but I barely made it this far, not even a week, I surely cannot do this for all the months your campaign will last. I thought this would be the best thing for you but it's- it's awful and it's killing me and I can't see you hurt any longer, not because of me, not because of anyone.”

There was a moment, a long, terrible moment, Sara was convinced Ava would push her away, would ask her to leave, would tell her she'd been forgiven one too many times.

Then, Ava's arms were around her, holding her close, and holding her up when Sara melted into her completely.

The General turned her head, kissing Sara's cheekbone, trying to sooth her.

“Then I won't run,” she murmured against Sara's warm skin, kissing her cheek again, then her temple.

“You have to, you'll never forgive yourself if Mr Queen gets his hands on the next Governor, will you?”

Ava sighed. “Then we'll... we'll just have to be better at keeping this a secret until the campaign is over.”

Sara hugged her even closer, clinging to Ava's back. “You forgive me?”

“I'm not convinced there's anything I have to forgive you, but if you need me to, then yes. Of course, I forgive you.”

“You knew, didn't you?”

“Did I know you still loved me? That you were breaking your own heart? I've listened to everything you've been telling me, you know? And I've found myself believing it. Not- not what you've said last Monday, I meant before that. I've kept all of it in my heart. So yes, I did know.”

“That we're as good as married to me?”

“Yes, I believed that.”

“That you're the love of my life?”

“I definitely believed that.”

“That we're never apart?”

“I must say I've had some troubles with this one.”

“Then I must never make you doubt it again,” Sara told her, then leaned back to look up into her eyes. “Not an hour, not a _minute_ has gone by I didn't think of you, my heart didn't ache to be with you.”

Ava kissed her forehead, then her lips. “Everything you've said, I hope you know I wholeheartedly return every sentiment.”

Sara smiled contentedly, pushing up on her tiptoes so she could kiss Ava once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this was a bit late, but I hope it makes up for the wait! Let me know what you thought if you want <3


	40. Growing apart

“I'll wait here until you're safe inside,” Ava told her, stopping at the point where the East road met the Lance's house path. “It's best if your family doesn't know it's me you came to see.”

Sara nodded, kissing Ava's cheek quickly and then turning before she could change her mind again and ask Ava to never let go of her hand for as long as she still had air in her lungs.

She waited until the door was closed behind Sara's back and then hurried up the street before someone saw her out so late at night. She heard the door open again a few moments later, but she was already a few yards uphill and had had the good sense of extinguishing her lantern's flame until she was out of sight.

“I've told you, I just needed to clear my head, I just went on a stroll.”

“God, Sara, you'll have my heart give out one of these days,” Quentin sighed. “Go to bed, we'll talk about this tomorrow.”

Ava kept walking in the dark for a few more yards, then lit up the lantern again as she deemed it was safe to do so.

  
  


The next day, Sara told her mother she would be going to the General's home to return the baskets Gary had brought the lettuce in. When Dinah asked if she was sure it was a good idea after everything that had happened, Laurel was the one to tell her mother to let Sara go: someone had to bring those back and the General had been nothing but polite to Sara at the Fair.

Sara reassured her she probably wouldn't even see Ava, since she would be at work when Sara headed to her land in the early afternoon.

She walked there and got to work reaping the cauliflowers, now ready as well. By the time she was done, she could see Ava walking up the road, exactly like she had hoped.

“General Sharpe.”

“Miss Lance.”

“I came to bring back the baskets, but saw the cauliflowers were ready for reaping so I thought I would get to it. It took longer than planned.”

Ava nodded, a small smile on her lips. “Are you cold, Miss Lance? Perhaps a cup of tea could warm you up.”

“I would be ever so grateful,” Sara answered, following Ava as she headed inside.

As Ava started to prepare the water, she glanced back at Sara, seeing her in her peripheral vision circling the table slowly, approaching her side carefully. It made Ava try not to smile.

“It is quite a relief we're not courting anymore, isn't it? Or else this would be such an improper situation, us alone in my house with no one else here.”

She felt Sara's hands on her waist, slowly circling it until she was hugging Ava from behind, her cheek pressed between Ava's shoulder blades.

“Yes, it is quite convenient our love for each other has died out so quickly,” Sara agreed, leaning up on her toes to plant a kiss on the back of Ava's neck.

Ava turned in her arms, looking into her eyes with utter adoration. She prompted Sara to lift her chin by caressing the underside of it with her index. She bowed her head and kissed her slowly, gently.

They stayed in each other's arms for long moments, foreheads touching, smiling between kisses, with no hurry to get the tea ready.

  
  


Sara returned home in the late afternoon, when the sun was still on the horizon. It wouldn't have been proper anymore for Ava to walk her, so they had agreed Sara should leave in time to make it home alone.

And of course, they couldn't be alone with each other every day anymore, but occasionally they could make up an excuse to visit each other.

They agreed Sara could return the baskets she had used to carry the cauliflowers back to her house in two or three days, so they could meet again. Then they'll need some other excuse if they wanted to see each other in private, otherwise Zari had already made Ava promise she would show up on Saturday for the dinner, so they could see each other then.

They still found ways to see each other everyday, albeit from afar: Sara would convince Laurel to take a stroll with her into town and they would walk by the school and her eyes would meet Ava's for a second and that would be enough, or Ava would walk home especially slow and glance to the Lance's garden to see Sara intent on reading a book under a tree while engulfed in a heavy coat and glance up as Ava passed her by.

It wasn't the same, not by a long shot, but it would have to do. If it was either that or nothing, then they'd take the little they could. Even if it felt like the sweetest kind of torture some days.

  
  


On Saturday, Ava left earlier than she ever had, walking into town with Nate so she could help him and the Jiwe twins set up the tavern for their weekly dinner.

He had the good sense of not questioning her about it. Nate didn't know everything that had happened, but he knew enough: Sara and Ava were close, then Robert threatened Sara somehow. Now, they weren't as close anymore, if at all. Ava hadn't taken it well. In fact, she seemed to be getting back to the person she used to be before Sara came along: she smiled less, talked less, and more often then ever before he would catch her looking intently at something uninteresting, knowing she was seeing something else entirely.

He was helping Amaya behind the counter but he kept glancing at his cousin and soon the girl by his side found it impossible not to notice.

“Do you think she'll ever be free of it? The war,” Amaya asked him in a whisper, as they looked at Ava staring at a chip on the side of the table, frowning at the indentation like it had wronged her personally. “It seems, sometimes, like it's still raging in her head.”

“Not just there,” Nate sighed. “We're not yet free of it ourselves. Our city is still half in shambles and the one person who has been doing something about it has been caught in the fire of a wicked political game that one mad man's playing.”

“Mr Queen?”

“Whom else,” Nate shook his head. “I've gone into this thinking... if Ava were to make Governor, it would be with a proper and well-liked woman by her side. But now, I see how she is and how she used to be, and I wonder if perhaps... if it was always Sara. If it was always supposed to be her. She fitted the role perfectly without even trying, people had started asking me about the two of them saying their names one after the other in a sentence, like they were always supposed to be used like that. The Palmer's, the West-Allen's, all our friends, we've become accustomed to the pair.”

“We have. We also got used to seeing her happy, and now she's... detached and polite and it drives me mad sometimes,” Amaya whispered back, turning her head away from Ava. “The other week at the Fair, she couldn't even look at Sara at all. Something happened, I know that for sure.”

Nate nodded. “Something has. But what, or whose fault it is, I'm still trying to figure out.”

Zari wasn't quite as subtle with her confusion, questioning Ava about what happened between her and Sara as soon as she got to the tavern. Amaya gave her a look, but the question was out there already, so Ava cleared her voice and gave them the answer she had ready.

“She gardened in my yard. She's reaped the last of her plants this week and now she won't be coming by as often. We were never more than acquaintances.”

She had rehearsed the words, tasted the bitterness of them before, while saying them out loud in the loneliness of her own room, so the sting of them in her own heart wouldn't be as ferocious. They still made her mouth taste like dirt.

“You were fond of her. I know you were.”

Ava frowned, then shook her head like she was actually considering the possibility. “I don't think it's possible for me to be fond of someone in the way you mean it, Zari. Miss Lance is smart enough to know I couldn't possibly have enough of my heart left to give away to someone else.”

It wasn't untrue: her heart had bled over fields and over friend's corpses, had bled every time she had to put on her uniform, had bled with every goodbye she had to endure in her short life. But Sara, oh, the girl had mended it well. It almost felt that it could heal eventually. Instead, it was now bleeding again.

“Well she was fond of you,” Zari pointed out, almost angry with Ava for the way this seemed to leave her indifferent.

“I doubt that. She's told me herself, she tries to steer clear of soldiers, doesn't trust them. She would never fall for a General. I know you're searching for an explanation, but there isn't one. We've simply grown apart.”

Ava remembered Sara saying they couldn't possibly be apart from one another anymore, that she always carried Ava in her own heart. It didn't feel as constant anymore, the days passed slowly whilst the few minutes she could see Sara flew past swiftly, and it felt like they were always, always apart now. Even when they were in each other's presence, things weren't as peaceful as they used to be.

Ava loved her, she knew Sara did, as well. But she was starting to wonder if there was actually a way out of the mess they were into, or if love simply wasn't enough. If maybe they weren't meant to be together for the rest of their lives, no matter how deeply Ava wanted it, or how much she wished she could fix everything around them. Maybe something so perfect couldn't blossom surrounded by crumbling things. Still, Ava knew she'd spend her life trying to find a way for them to be together rather than ever give up of them.

When she turned, she saw Sara standing behind her. It took nothing but the look in her eyes to make Ava sure she had overheard every word Ava had said.

“Good evening, Miss Lance. If I've offended you-”

“Why would the truth be offensive? You were simply stating a fact, General Sharpe.”

Sara smiled, not much genuinely, then turned away and went to greet their friends, leaving Ava feeling guilty despite the reassurance.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, I had a Week From Hell, but new chapter is finally here! Thank you so much to everyone still reading, I'd be glad to know what you thought!


	41. The wine

Ava was sitting at the counter, waiting for Amaya to return from the back, when Oliver approached her. Sara was too far to hear what he told her, but whatever he said couldn't have been good, judging by the way Ava's jaw tightened. But she nodded her head and Oliver sat down beside her, so it couldn't have been that bad either.

Sara didn't know why exactly, but the sight of the two of them talking amicably, smiling nonetheless, unnerved her.

She knew there was a good way things could unfold: if Oliver took on Ava's righteousness and Ava gained some of his boldness. They could be good for each other, yes. But there was a much more fearful scenario playing in her mind, one where Ava's detached ways rubbed off on Oliver and she became as reckless as he was. She had a hard time imagining what kind of troubles they could get themselves into. Or rather, she'd prefer not to have to imagine it at all.

  
  


“General Sharpe, may I speak to you for a moment?”

Ava looked up at Mr Queen, her jaw tightening instinctively, but she nodded. He sat down, turning to her immediately.

“I know you have no reason to trust me, but as things are, we have a common enemy we can only defeat if we stay united.”

“Are you telling me you want me to believe you'll aid me in winning over your father's desired candidate?”

“I'll help you destroy him, I'll help you take everything from him. You're not the only one who's lost someone because of what he did.”

When he glanced behind Ava, she needn't look to know he was pointing at the Lance's sisters.

“Destroying your father won't help you with getting her back,” Ava whispered.

“I reckon there's a chance nothing could,” Oliver frowned. “I failed her one too many times. I don't wish to get her back, General. I wish to be a man Laurel could be proud to have by her side, it doesn't matter if that's a place I'll never again be allowed to occupy.”

Ava nodded, seeing the pain and honesty in his eyes. “It won't be easy. And it won't be without cost, for either of us.”

“I'm aware, and I've made my peace with it.”

“They can't know about this, Mr Queen. Not until it's done. As Captain Lance says, the Lance women tend to have no qualms about speaking their minds. This is me and you and no one else. We cannot endanger them anymore than we have.”

“I agree with this as well, although I fear they might be inclined to kill us for being left out in the name of their own protection.”

Ava smiled at that. “Yes, I reckon they might.”

Oliver returned her smile, then turned somber again. “I've made a lot of mistakes. I want to assure you, I understand my actions were wrong and I will never repeat the wrongs I've done.”

“I can't say I trust you, Mr Queen. Trust is earned. But I can tell you, I'm not in the business of judging people for their past. What matters are the choices you make from this moment on.”

Ava extended her hand, squeezing Oliver's too tightly when he took it.

“The threat Quentin made,” she reminded him, knowing he recalled the promise of cutting off his fingers, “don't believe for a second I wouldn't follow through with it if you ever touched a woman without her consent ever again, Mr Queen.”

“I have no doubt you would, as would he. And I've no intention of making you prove it, I really do want to prove I'm capable of being better.”

Ava nodded to him, letting go of his hand.

“It is good to hear. Because something your father said actually gave me an idea on how we could go about this. But, that is for tomorrow,” she said when Amaya approached their spot from behind the counter. “For tonight, we toast.”

Amaya smiled at that, fetching three glasses and filling them with wine. “What are we toasting to?”

Oliver smiled, looking at Ava. “New friendships?”

“New friendships,” Ava agreed.

  
  


It wasn't until their fourth glass of wine that Amaya deemed it enough. But then Nate joined them and Charlie poured them all another glass.

“I've never seen you drink, General, but I think I can say by now you can handle your share,” Oliver smiled amicably.

“You wouldn't believe the things that got around camp, I've drank some stuff that would knock out cold the most experienced drinkers in town. You're eighteen and you get there and they hand you this stuff clear as water and you cannot exactly turn it down without being hazed for it for the rest of your career.”

“So you just went with it?”

“Had no choice. I was already looked at weirdly, not a lot of women in the army. So I did what everyone else did and drank, it wasn't the best beverage I've ever had, but I got soon used to it and could drink any man I knew under the table.”

“They say the clear thing they bring soldiers is pretty addictive. It's what causes so many soldiers to... keep their ways once they're back from the war,” Charlie said.

“Merlyn and my father had their run,” Nate recalled, “but the worst of it...”

“Was our father,” Laurel intervened, making Ava turn to meet her eyes. “You can say it, Nate, it's not a secret.”

“Rip had his troubles as well,” Nate added.

“Soldiers often do,” Ava's eyes glanced at Sara, then went back to Nate. “It quiets the voices. So you only hear one at a time. It's pleasant, but alas, it never lasts. Eventually the voices come back and you still have to hear them out, I reckon they stopped drinking when they made their peace with them.”

“Is that why you never started?” Oliver asked her.

Ava shook her head slightly. “My ghosts, they never rest. I've too many voices trying to make me listen, I could drain this tavern and they would still be too loud.”

“They've all coped differently,” Nate amended.

“They've all coped terribly,” Sara intervened for the first time. “Hitting their kids and drinking themselves half to death. You don't have to thread lightly because we're speaking about men who fought for us.There are soldiers who were perfectly able to-”

“Name one,” Ava interrupted. “Name one soldier who wasn't changed for the worse after the war, Miss Lance.”

Sara stared into her eyes, undeterred.

“Mr Palmer.”

“Just because he's back to how he was, doesn't mean there wasn't a dark time when he could barely get up from his bed in the morning. And he wasn't on the front with us.”

“Captain Snart-”

“Turned to a life of crime,” Nate reminded her.

Sara spared him a glance, then looked into Ava's eyes again. “You.”

She raised an eyebrow at that. “Well, Miss Lance, you clearly don't know me as well as you think you do,” her voice was soft as always, but her eyes were pained.

Sara wanted to argue, she wanted to say she knew Ava better than Ava sometimes appeared to know herself. She knew Ava didn't drink, or brawl, she was honest and just. A good person.

But she couldn't say that, she couldn't say anything of the sort, because she was supposed to know of Ava what she could've learned from one or two hours a day of making small talk with her, a few days a week, and nothing more. But she knew so much more than that, she knew enough that the thought of Ava thinking of herself as a bad person was unbearable to her.

“I know enough,” Sara whispered, but dropped the topic. “We should probably be heading home,” she told Laurel instead. She looked at Ava intendedly, and it was her turn to raise an eyebrow, clearly expecting Ava would offer to walk them as it was proper.

“We should go as well, and we're heading East,” Nate said. “We'll walk with you.”

Sara felt a bitter answer on the tip of her tongue, but held it in and kept looking at Ava, waiting for her to deny her even this.

“Undoubtedly,” she nodded. “Mr Queen, I'll see you here on Monday?”

He nodded, shaking Ava's hand. “After work, as agreed.”

They said their goodbyes to the rest of their friends and then headed out. Sara was feeling rather upset with how things had gone.

They walked in silence for a while, but by the time they reached the end of town, Laurel had her arm around Nate's and was walking faster then them so they could have a semblance of privacy if they wished to talk.

Sara didn't dare to step closer to her.

“They can't know what's going on, Sara. Our friends need to think there is nothing between us,” Ava whispered to her. “I do apologize-”

“I've told you already, you needn't to. I understand. And you haven't lied, have you? We _have_ grown apart.”

Ava stopped walking and waited until Sara did the same and turned to her. “Can we ever truly be apart? You are still always in my heart.”

“You've closed it off again, locked it away the same it was before. You think you have to do this because there's another war coming, but you don't.”

“I haven't. I can't, not anymore. It's not mine to lock, I've given it to you long ago, and I trust you to protect it. But if I'm not cold with this, if I'm not precise-”

“What? You'll lose to him? Who cares? We'll have already lost to him if he takes you away, if he takes what makes you... _you_. So don't let him.”

Ava took a step closer, taking her hand in her own. “I need you to trust me, Sara. This is the only way. I need you to trust that I know what I'm doing, even if I can't explain it to you. I know it's a lot to ask-”

“I'd trust you with anything. So I'll trust you with this.”

She closed her eyes and stepped closer, her free hand going to rest on Ava's chest, to feel her beating heart under it.

“I don't care if you're Governor, I just want you to be happy and free of your ghosts.”

“I'm not doing this to be Governor, my love,” Ava explained in a whisper. “I promised you I'd stop him before he could hurt you, and that's what I'm going to do. I'm doing this to protect you. I'm doing this because I love you.”

“After everything I've said, everything I've done?”

“Not a minute has gone by that I haven't.”

Sara hated that they had to act so distant, so unfamiliar in front of their friends, but of course she knew Ava meant every word she was saying to her now they were alone.

“Can I see you tomorrow?” Sara asked, as Ava used to.

“Yes, you can see me whenever you wish.”

“I'll sneak out and we can have tea,” she told her, seeing in Ava's eyes she didn't like how improper it sounded, but she nodded anyway. Sara tugged her hand, resuming their walk. “Or you could walk by and we could head into town, I could ask Laurel and you could bring Nate along. It won't be the same but it'd be proper.”

“We shouldn't go into town together, Sara. I'll find an excuse to stop by tomorrow, to speak with your father. I could see you then?”

“Thank you.”

Sara hugged her arm as they kept walking and Ava pushed down the smile that threatened to appear on her lips.

“This is where we part,” Ava whispered to her once they reached Nate and Laurel waiting for them at the end of the path to the Lance's house.

“You know it isn't,” Sara whispered back before they got within earshot. “Until tomorrow, General Sharpe.”

“Until tomorrow, Miss Lance.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I haven't been able to update twice a week recently, life's been busy. But I hope you'll keep following the story and let me know your thoughts <3


	42. Born for it

As promised, Ava made her way to the Lance's on Sunday afternoon, and she wasn't alone. Her cousin was visiting along with her and, albeit Sara liked Nate, she couldn't help but feel a little disappointed she wouldn't be able to have even the smallest amount of time alone with Ava. Their eyes barely even met while Ava was being shown to the study, for the shortest moment Sara felt like she could breathe again, but it was soon taken from her.

Dinah could see her pacing the kitchen restlessly, so she made tea and prepared three cups before asking Sara to bring it to the study for their guests.

She went in, almost vibrating with unused energy, but when she knocked on the door, instead of an invitation to go in, Quentin opened the door and took the trail from her, telling her to thank Dinah on their behalf. Whatever conversation was happening in the room, it wasn't only of the upmost importance, but highly secretive as well.

Dinah saw her come back, dejection in her shoulders, and sighed.

“You mustn't think she doesn't love you still, I can see it in her eyes, even if she conceals it well.”

“I know she does. But you can love someone and still not be able to spend your life with them.”

How cruel, on fate's part, to bring two people together, to have them grow so close, fall in love so deeply, while preventing them from being each other's.

She waited and waited for Ava and Nate to walk out of the study and got up when she heard voices approaching the living room where she was sitting with her mother. Ava walked to them, thanking Dinah for the hospitality, and nodding to Sara, the smallest, softest smile on her lips.

Sara nodded back, but she couldn't help but feeling somewhat disappointed when they walked out and away without saying anything else.

Quentin lurked around until Dinah left the room, then sat down next to his daughter. He couldn't even bring himself to look into her eyes when he spoke.

“There could be a way to... fix things. But it could mean...” he frowned, still looking at his hands rather than at Sara. “Would you rather she became Governor or would you rather you could marry her?”

The whispered words felt like an ice cold bucket of water thrown on her. But, deep in her heart, the answer had always been the same.

“I'd rather she be happy. I'm not sure I can be who she needs, but I'm sure being Governor is what she was born to do. I want her to be happy.”

Quentin sighed. “Yes. I thought you might say that,” he got up and headed to the door, but paused when he reached it, turning back. “Rocky days are ahead of us, you need to keep in mind what's important, Sara.”

And if that wasn't the most enigmatic thing her father had ever uttered, then Sara didn't know her father at all.

  
  


For the rest of the day, she wasn’t able to get her father’s words out of her mind. So she decided, early on Monday afternoon, they were in dire need of a new watering can.

“Doesn’t the General have three? I’m quite positive I’ve seen you use them before,” Laurel saw right through the excuse.

“The General does, but I cannot steal one of her own, can I? And since it’s not proper for me to go tend to her garden anymore, I should tend to ours. And I need a watering can for that, one that isn’t rusty and leaking.”

Laurel pushed her lips together, but didn’t say anything else, instead going to change so they could head into town together. Some days, Laurel still looked at her like she would never be able to forget about her and Oliver. Other times, it all seemed well past them already. Sara knew there were a lot of steps to forgiveness, and some of those would be steps back. It’d be fine in the end, they loved each other too much for this to be the end of them.

They walked into town before Laurel decided to ask again.

“Now that you know our mother isn’t eavesdropping, what are we really going into town for?”

“A new watering can,” Sara said again.

“Sara, I’m on your side, I really am, but I swear if you lie to me again, I’ll never play along again.”

She sighed, but stopped and turned to Laurel. “You’ve heard how they said goodbye on Saturday, they’ll meet at the tavern today after Ava’s done with work,” she whispered. “Don’t you want to make sure they aren’t going to do anything stupid?”

Laurel sighed as well, then rolled her eyes. “Let’s get the watering can you convinced mom we needed. Then we can go say hi to Amaya, since we’re already into town.”

Sara smiled, intwining her arm with Laurel’s. “I knew you’d see it my way.”

By the time they reached the tavern, it was well past the time Ava would leave work when she knew Sara was waiting for her to be back home, but she wasn't sure she would leave as early to see Oliver, because, if she had, she'd have spent at least an hour with him, in a place filled with perhaps the only thing in the world Oliver had always liked better than Laurel: wine.

She had her answer before they could even set foot into the tavern: the loud laugh couldn't be mistaken as anybody else's but Oliver's.

“You are most certainly making fun of me!”

“I swear to you, he came out of the tent with no pants on and two snakes in his hands, I've never seen another man as quick as your brother.”

Lisa Snart was listening to Ava's story quite intently, as Oliver kept laughing along. They had taken a table in the corner and Sara and Laurel were careful not to spare it even a glance before heading for the counter.

“Did he kill the snakes himself?”

“Mr Rory set them on fire while they were still in his hands, so the Captain was standing there, two flaming snakes in his hands, when-”

“You're making it up, now I'm sure of it!”

Ava's laugh filled the tavern and Sara's ears, and it sparked opposing feelings in Sara's heart. On one hand, it was the first time Sara had heard her laugh genuinely in quite a while, on the other, the source of it was Caitlyn Snow's light teasing.

“Well, you can ask Mr Palmer next time he's in town, he was the one who had to put out the fire,” she countered, then excused herself so she could get refills for the table.

When she approached Charlie at the counter, Sara was tempted to walk right up to them, but Amaya's voice stopped her just in time.

“They've been here for half an hour doing a lot of talking and much less drinking, then Lisa Snart joined them and I've lost count of how many glasses I've had to pour since. Luckily, Dr Snow seems to have dimmed it quite a bit with her presence,” she told them, then cleared her throat in a way that warned them something was about to happen.

“Miss Lance,” Ava's voice made them turn. “Miss Lance,” she smiled at Laurel. “How are you?”

“We're well,” Laurel hurried out.

“We needed a new watering can,” Sara raised the tool in her hands as if she needed proof that her presence there wasn't just plain and pure stalking. “Since we were into town, we thought we'd say hi to Amaya and Charlie.”

“I see,” Ava nodded. “Well, I wish you both a pleasant day.”

Without adding anything else, Ava returned to her own table, sitting down next to Oliver as he started his own tale about one time or the other he had found himself in some trouble along with Dr Snow's friend, Mr Allen.

Sara was left flabbergasted at Ava's calm behaviour, and even more at the casualness she dismissed them with, yet she could do nothing but turn back to Amaya and resume their small talk, trying not to seem too upset.

  
  


She was washing dishes in the kitchen when she saw someone make their way up the East road, lantern in hand. There was no mistaking who it was, even if there hadn't been just two houses further that way. The uniform, the hair, the stance. It was well past dinner time, and Ava had yet to make her way back from the town. Sara found herself already looking for another excuse to head into town the next day.

  
  


It was earlier than the previous day, Sara had no intention of missing Ava once she got off work, they needed to talk and if Ava insisted Sara shouldn't head to her house unaccompanied, then Sara would just so happen to run into her while on a commission.

She was walking past the school, expecting to see Ava giving directions to her men like she had many times before, but Ava was nowhere to be seen.

A terrible feeling set on the pit of her stomach as she approached Nate and asked him about it.

“You missed her, she just left a few minutes ago. I told her I would oversee the last half hour of the day since she had somewhere to be.”

His voice was candid, as if the matter was completely innocent, but he wouldn't meet her eyes.

“Could you point me to where she might be, then?” Sara asked, undeterred. “I wanted to visit a couple more shops and was wondering if she'd be willing to wait for me and walk me back in case the dark finds me here.”

“I can wait for you,” he offered. “I'm headed the same way.”

“Nate.”

“Sara,” he whispered. “I don't know what happened with you and Robert Queen but I know enough to be sure you shouldn't be asking me where Ava is. He has ears everywhere, never forget it.”

“Fine. Don't tell me where she is, then. Tell me she isn't with Oliver, at the tavern, tell me she isn't becoming just another soldier who wasn't able to bear the ghosts anymore. Tell me she isn't becoming our fathers.”

Nate's jaw tensed and he finally turned to Sara. He was looking at her the same way her father had when he had told her the only way to fix things would either make Ava Governor or her wife, but not both.

“Make sure you're home before dusk. She won't make the walk back along with you, tonight,” was all he said before he went back to shouting orders.

Sara swallowed down her desperate plea to do something about it then, and instead marched away from the school and headed straight for the East side, not wanting to know how much they were drinking, what they were talking about, who they were with. Maybe she didn't want to know any of it, maybe she wanted to know all of it, either way she knew there was no excuse in the world valid enough for her to go to the tavern two days in a row and make it seem like it was just a coincidence. So she walked away and tried to stop the memories of her father's drunken days from invading every part of her mind. It was a harder task than she had anticipated.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you say this classifies as angst... may I remind you they're together at least? And what would a soap-like story be without some drama?
> 
> Thank you all for reading <3
> 
> (PS: I'm sorry the updates aren't coming twice a week at the moment, new job is kicking my butt)


	43. New friendships

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. 
> 
> I've been thinking about this story for the past 10 days, where I wanted to go from here and how. I'm not sure this was the best decision, but I figured waiting too long would also not be in line with the general idea of the fic (short but frequent snippets). As I already said in some responses to comments, I cannot do a rewrite of the story, both because I really do not have the time, as the story was majorly written before I started my current job, and because I enjoy writing the silly story I had planned from chapter 1.
> 
> I did some editing, and it hasn't been easy. I cut some stuff and edited what was to supposed to be the next 4 chapters into 2 much longer chapters. Now, for those of you who want a satisfying ending and feel like this story has run its course, please pretend the next 2 chapters are the last ones. If you feel like all the questions you had have been answered and the foreshadowing can be overseen, take the happy-ish ending and maybe think about revisiting the story once it's all published.
> 
> For those of you who want to keep reading, the next 2 chapters are longer, yes, but then we go back to the original format: shorter chapters, once a week (I cannot do twice anymore because of the job, but even then I feel like once a week is pretty often for fanfic standards?). Some chapters are written already and I feel like I might as well keep publishing (as some of you have asked) since I'm set on finishing the story as I had originally planned just for my own enjoyment.
> 
> I want to apologize once again for not realizing this story was getting long/repetitive/boring, I wanted to try this "soap" format and I guess it got away from me. I'll strive to do better in the future if I keep writing. Thanks to all of you for your feedback and patience.

After a good night of sleep, she felt better about things, and knew exactly what she had to do to fix it. So, on Wednesday afternoon, instead of heading for the tavern or the school, Sara walked past the town and into the West road.

She knew she had to time it right and wasn't disappointed when, after lurking around the crossroad between the Queen's mansion and the main street for just a few minutes, she saw Oliver make his way to the town.

He stopped upon seeing her, then walked slower than before until he was just a few feet from her, waiting for Sara to speak first.

“What do you want?”

His eyebrows shot up and he seemed rather disappointed by the question. “Good afternoon, Sara. How are you?”

“I'm okay, Oliver.”

“Are you?”

Sara frowned, but didn't repeat herself.

“Your father seemed rather convinced I didn't have your permission when I kissed you. So I wanted to-”

“I was talking and you kissed me to shut me up, Ollie. I wasn't really expecting it, was I? I don't know if I wanted you to, but you never asked, you never gave me the chance to refuse in case I didn't.”

“And the second time? You weren't speaking.”

“No, and I did see it coming then. We'd kissed before so I- I thought nothing ominous could come of it. Clearly a mistake on my part.”

“Because my father saw.”

“Apparently so,” Sara nodded. “Or, he saw something. It doesn't matter what, because he was mistaken. We were friends, Oliver, and those two moments were just...”

“We were never only friends. You fancied me. Mind you, I know you didn't love me, but I could see you liked me. I fancied you quite a bit as well. But I must follow your advice, even if a bit too late for it to be as useful, and be true to what's in my heart. So, perhaps, we can be friends now.”

Sara was taken rather aback by the proposition, but after a moment of consideration she nodded her head.

“I want to apologize, for kissing you. For my father and his threats. For grabbing you by your wrists at the tavern, although I assure you I have never intended to harm you.”

“I know,” Sara nodded again. “Then why are you?”

It was his turn to frown, confusion adorning his features.

“What do you want, Oliver?” she asked again. “You're heading to the tavern, aren't you? Is your father making you do this?”

“I'm meeting a friend, nothing more. General Sharpe and I have found recently, we have quite a lot in common.”

Sara wanted to ask if he meant their passion for wine or their fondness of her and her sister, but stopped herself just in time.

“You and I have a lot in common as well,” she told him instead. “We ruin everything we touch, we poison everything we're fond of. You know Laurel's been miserable for weeks and now Ava is, too, ever since your father made that threat. They're unhappy because of us.”

Oliver couldn't help but avert his eyes, while he nodded. “They were better off before they had a chance to love us. But the happiness I've seen in Laurel's eyes, the sound of her laughter, I wouldn't take it back for the world, nor would she,” he walked up to her, stopping beside her and adding, in a whisper, “the General wouldn't either, Sara. Would you?”

Sara closed her eyes and for an instant she was back at the bay, lying under the sun, with Ava's heartbeat under her ear, the answer already on her lips.

“No. I could never take it back. But I cannot fathom this path either, I cannot let her life be ruined because of me. It won't matter if she never speaks to me again because if she-”

It hit her then, like lightening. Suddenly, she was sure she knew what was going on.

“She'd never be elected Governor if she keeps doing this,” she whispered.

Oliver averted his eyes, then stepped away from her and down the road, heading to town and passing her by a few steps before stopping again. “She's made her choice, Sara. You need to trust her and let her do this her way. If you try to stop her you'll just end up making it worse.”

People kept telling her that, that she needed to trust Ava. And she did, with everything she had, she trusted Ava's plan would work exactly the way she wanted it to. But she was now starting to wonder if perhaps the reason everyone kept telling her to trust Ava was that her plan was aimed at exactly the wrong thing.

What Ava had told her on Saturday came back to her mind and she couldn't help but being even more sure she was making the worst mistake of her life.

“_I'm not doing this to be Governor. I'm doing this to protect you. I'm doing this because I love you._”

She watched Oliver go, set more than ever in finding out exactly what was going on and how to stop it.

  
  


Sara didn't go into town on Thursday, but overheard her father talking to her mother and how he said that, when he checked on the school works just before returning home, Nate had been there giving orders instead of Ava, since the General had already left for the day.

She knew what she had to do. So, that night, after her parents had gone to sleep, she walked into the hallway as silently as she could and started looking for her father's lantern with no avail.

“I've hidden it,” Laurel's voice startled her. “The lantern. I knew you'd try to do something reckless, I've seen how restless you've been today and how hastily you announced you were going to bed earlier than usual tonight. I knew you'd try to go out again.”

“I just need to clear my head,” Sara told her.

“Don't,” Laurel warned her. “We had a deal, Sara, stop lying to me.”

She opened her mouth to rebut, but then closed it again.

“You told her you didn't want to see her anymore, Sara. You can't demand to have a say in how she copes with granting your wishes.”

She wanted to tell Laurel she took it back, she wanted to tell her the whole truth, but she couldn't risk it. Not even in the safety of her own home. This... whatever this was, couldn't have been for nothing. Instead, she chose to say the part of it she could.

“It doesn't mean I don't still care for her. It doesn't mean I don't want her to be okay, to be happy. What she and I have, it cannot just end. It can never just end.”

“I know. But you have to tell yourself it did. You can't keep torturing her like this, you can't keep torturing yourself. At least for now, Sara, you need to let go of it.”

“I can't. I can't bear the thought that... if Robert can take her from me for a while, this could take her from me for good. You remember how dad was, don't you? Mom was a wreck, it was a nightmare. If she's destroying herself to make sure Robert knows she won't run, if she's destroying herself to protect me, I have to stop her. I have to.”

“She won't become dad, Sara. The General is the best behaved person I've ever met, I'm sure whatever she's doing, she's in complete control of it.”

Sara shook her head, desperately, but she knew there was nothing she could say to make Laurel change her mind, simply because Laurel was right: as things were, it wasn't a problem yet. Sara didn't dare utter her fear that, if they waited long enough that it became one, then it'd be too late to do anything about it.

Laurel walked to her, guiding her back into her room and holding her for a while, until Sara felt the tiredness of the week catch up to her, and felt finally ready to get a good night of sleep.

  
  


Quentin looked at his watch again.

“Is she often late?” Diggle asked, his fingers hammering on the table.

“Never. Not before _this_ started, at least,” Nate scoffed. “We need to get things under wraps or-”

“Or what?” Ava walked into the study, looking rather disheveled. Her uniform jacket was unbuttoned, her hair was down and wild, there were dark circles under her eyes. “Your father was kind enough to show me in,” she told Nate, letting herself fall into one of the chairs. “Please go ahead, what will you do if I don't go back to being complacent?”

Nate sighed heavily. “We need a plan for your campaign. When to announce you're running, if we should announce an engagement, if-”

“No engagement. No announcing anything as long as Darhk's alive. I don't care about the rest, do with the campaign whatever the hell you please.”

“It is _your_ campaign, General,” Rip reminded her. “If you are one thing, is meticulous with your plans.”

“You mean controlling,” Ava snorted. “Not anymore. I'm learning to... how did Ollie call it... delegate.”

Quentin pushed his lips together, getting up from his chair. “_Ollie_, as you call him, is the son of the man who took everything from you. He's turning you into-”

Ava got up from her chair. “What? A drunk? Oliver's not forcing a glass into my hand, Captain Lance, he's merely my company. And Robert did me a favour. Let's be honest, I'll win this campaign even if I do absolutely nothing, whom else could ever be a valid opponent?” Ava chuckled at her own rhetoric question. “I'll tell you what, I'll win with no campaign. I'll win with no team. You're all dismissed,” she made a wide gesture with her hand, then headed for the door. “If you'll excuse me, my companion is waiting for me and I wouldn't want him to drink the tavern dry before my arrival. Have a pleasant Friday night, gentlemen.”

As quickly as she entered the room, she exited it again, leaving the four men who had been waiting for her for an hour completely flabbergasted.

  
  


It was rather late on Friday afternoon and Sara was just about to head to the kitchen to help her mother prepare dinner – her father had mentioned a meeting, so he would be home later than usual. She only knew it was being held at Nate's house and that Ava was supposed to be there, since everyone who was going to work on her campaign was going to be there as well.

It was already late afternoon when her dad had come home briefly and reminded Dinah he'd be home later, and it was almost dark outside now. That was why it was so easy to notice the light shining in the back yard. It was directly in front of Sara's window and barely visible from anywhere else in the house but her parent's room – which was surely empty currently.

She frowned, getting to the kitchen quietly. Fortunately, Dinah was still finishing up some other chore in the living room, so it was easy to slip out unnoticed.

Sara walked across the yard and to the light, but just when she was a few feet away from it, it vanished so suddenly she was left to wonder if it had really even been there in the first place. She sighed. Must have been wishful thinking, after all.

Just as she was about to head back, she heard rustling from beyond the fence. Someone moved from behind the large oak just outside their property and came into view. It wasn't really pitch black yet, and the last light of the early evening sky was just bright enough that Sara could make out the outlines of the woman standing there even from a distance, although she would have recognized her even in the dark.

Sara glanced back to make sure the kitchen was still empty, then exited the property by the little wicket gate in front of her and took a few steps.

“Ava?”

Sara's last steps were quicker as she glanced back one last time to make sure her mother and sister hadn't noticed anything, and then joined Ava behind the oak. They were suddenly so close, Ava had to step back so they would both be out of view from anyone glancing their way from the house.

“What are you doing here?”

“I hope I didn't frighten you,” the answer came immediately. “I was hoping you'd see the lantern light from your window, but I couldn't be certain, I turned it off once you were close enough.”

Sara's hand went to Ava's chest, just above her heart, just as she did the last time they had been as close. She felt it beating, clear and strong, beneath her fingers. Still whole. Still in tune with her own.

“You could never frighten me. Hi.” She stepped closer and Ava was quick to hug her, the softest sigh left her lips and she looked like she was trying to hold a smile back.

“Hi. I've missed you terribly. Oliver told me you tried to dissuade him from seeking my company,” her tone was meant to be reprimanding, but it merely sounded endeared.

“So I did and I do not regret it. The past few days... you haven't been quite yourself.”

“I promise you I have. I promise you this is all for a purpose, Sara,” the hold Ava had on her tightened slightly, remaining tender. “I know this has been hard on you, although I did tell you I was planning something, I know it bothered you not knowing what exactly. But you had a part in it, my love, albeit unknowingly. I'm sorry I've asked so much of you, so much patience and so much trust.”

Sara was still frowning, but her fears were slipping away already, the acute despair was morphing into a dull confusion.

“What was it then? Your plan? I thought you were just drinking yourself into being unfit for the Governorship.”

Ava shook her head, eyes closed. “I haven't been drinking as much as you think I have. I promise you I'm okay, Sara. I only regret not being able to warn you earlier. You have to understand, I was trying to protect you. Your involvement in this had to be null for it to work. Or rather, your involvement had to be... unconventional. I haven't liked this week any more than you have, believe me, not being able to see you was the hardest part of all this.”

“Tell me about your plan, then,” Sara asked, leaning into Ava, circling her shoulders with her own arms. They were so close, Sara had the urge to get on her tiptoes and kiss her, but she was holding back, questioning if Ava's lips would taste of wine.

“We don't have much time, I'm afraid. Your father knew I would stop by, he's stalling to give me a chance to see you, but we shan't be long. When this is over, you'll know everything. If you'll still... if you'll want to hear it.”

“When?” Sara demanded.

Ava seemed uncertain for a moment, even doubtful. “Sunday. If everything goes as planned, if you'll want to see me, I'll explain everything to you then. Discreetly, of course, as nothing will truly be finalized yet, but the worst part'll be over.”

Another day, Sara could absolutely get through one more day. Saturday would pass quickly, she'd even see Ava at the dinner, and then Sunday, she would finally know.

“Sunday, then. I'll hold you to it,” she whispered.

Ava seemed doubtful for a moment longer, then took a deep breath. “Sara, there's something I need to tell you. I've asked your father for a few minutes because I wanted you to know something rather important. There'll be time to explain everything after, but this one thing I wanted you to know before you saw it.”

Sara frowned, nodding and waiting for Ava to go on.

“There is one last step to this plan. You won't like it. You won't like _me_. It hurts me you'll witness it and I'm afraid it might change what you think of me. How you see me. I couldn't see another path, I couldn't find another way to ensure you were never threatened again,” Ava's eyes looked pained, although she was trying to hide how conflicted she was. “Perhaps this wasn't the best way, but it was the only one I could find.”

“What are you talking about, I'll witness it?”

“Tomorrow's dinner, at the tavern... I know you'll be there, and I'll be...” she averted her eyes, therefore Sara had no doubt what she was going to say.

“You'll be there, with Oliver,” her tone was dry and she relinquished her hold on Ava's shoulders.

The General looked somewhat hurt, but didn't try to hold her back. “Sara, I won't-”

They both turned when a light came on in the Lance's kitchen.

“That's your cue, I'm afraid,” Ava said, resigned and sad. She had answered Sara's questions, and didn't get to say what she had intended to. There was no time anymore. There was no time to say something she couldn't quite explain anyway. “Just know, things aren't what they seem. I'm still me.”

Ava gently took Sara's hand, placing it over her own heart.

There it was again, the steady, even beating.

“I love you, Sara. I'll see you tomorrow.”

Before Sara could find the right thing to say, the kitchen door opened just enough that the light filtering through made Sara turn, her father's voice reassuring her mother she was probably just in the yard was enough to make her look back at Ava desperately. She couldn't say anything else, but she nodded her head, leaning forward quickly to kiss Ava gently and then let go of her completely, stepping ahead and quickly re-entering the yard before one of her parents could come out. She glanced back, but Ava was either hidden by the oak or had already slipped away.

She made her way to the kitchen door just as her mother opened it wider and called her name. She answered back distractedly, making her way inside and letting Dinah shut the door. As her mother got busy around the kitchen, she glanced through the window one last time, seeing a faint light come back to life as Ava walked away from the house.

She turned her attention to her mother's demands that she helped, as an odd thought struck her quite suddenly.

If Ava had been at the tavern, as she allegedly had every other night of the past week, her lips bore no trace of it, as she tasted nothing like wine in the least.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this was longer than usual, refer to the note at the beginning if you haven't read it. Thank you for your patience.


	44. The brawl

The tavern was unusually crowded that Saturday. It was always rather full on the December nights, since it was too cold to be wandering around outside, but even considering the wether, the place was packed.

Their table was set for them in the further side of the tavern, Sara and Laurel headed for it immediately, passing by Ava and Oliver at the counter without stopping to talk to them, but instead merely exchanging greetings in passing. It was hard, but she knew they had to still maintain appearances.

Sara endured it, and she endured the dinner, with the two of them laughing at the other end of the table, she endured the talking she started to hear. About how the General was going down a dangerous path, about how when the time came, they weren't sure they'd vote her in as Governor anymore, about how the two of them looked anything but proper, a nobleman and a General behaving like this.

Sara endured.

Up until the fight broke out.

It wasn't perfectly clear to her exactly what had prompted it, but she had heard enough to have a good idea what caused it.

“I'm not saying she could've never loved you. I'm just saying she didn't.”

“Shut your mouth or I'll shut it for you.”

Oliver sounded like he was still kidding around, but the hurtful words he said were anything but a joke. Ava had tried to shush him quietly at first, then she had responded harshly when his teasing persisted.

“Listen, listen, everyone knew you were fond of her, it's fine,” Oliver laughed again, a little more maliciously than before.

“Whom are they talking about?” Someone asked, someone Sara didn't know, someone who was looking at the two idiots getting into a fight at the counter of the town's tavern. Someone wise, asking the same question everyone else would be asking as soon as word of this got around their little town.

“Is that the Queen boy?”

“Making fun of a General like that, he's about to have his arse handed to him, I'm telling you,” someone answered.

Sara didn't doubt it. She wouldn't mind it if Oliver got punched for what he had said, but she wouldn't let Ava's life be ruined by this. She had to step in and help, somehow.

She took a step forward, ready to get between them, to finally put an end to whatever had been going on for the past week, when Nate grabbed her elbow and held her back. Sara was about to shove him off herself and step in anyway, when she turned to him and saw the look in his eyes. It made her stop in her tracks.

“He has ears and eyes everywhere,” Nate said the same thing he'd told Sara when she visited the construction site at the school. “You have to trust she knows what she's doing,” he whispered to her so softly Sara was positive nobody around them would have heard even if they weren't all engrossed in the scene unfolding in front of them.

“Nate,” she looked at him desperately. “Help her. Or let me help her. Please.”

“I am,” he whispered, his hold on her arm still strong. “I'm helping you both.”

She turned her head again, her attention back on the two idiots in front of her.

“I don't get it. A General, could have anyone in town. And you went for her.”

“I'll make you eat your own words, Queen, if you don't stop talking right now,” Ava threatened, stepping to him.

“You could've done better, I mean she's pretty as they come, but not much else than that.”

The rest, happened in a second.

Ava's aim, even in her current state, was nothing short of excellent. Her fist hit him square on the jaw. It wasn't as strong as it would've been had she been sober, but it was still enough to make him stumble back.

But just for a moment: a second later he was back in her face, pushing her back with both hands and then taking a swing at her. He missed, barely. His second punch landed, Ava not seeing it coming from his non-dominant hand. Sara saw some blood, probably from a split lip, then Jax and Roy were dragging them away from each other and inviting them to clear their heads in the cold air outside.

When Ava lightly pushed Roy off and staggered out, Nate finally, finally let go of her arm. But there was nothing left for her to stop, nothing left to do but stand there, paralysed, listening to the awful whispers coming from everyone around her.

“Never would have thought her capable of it.”

“Truly improper, getting in a brawl like this, and all for a girl.”

“I've heard she's the girl who came into town with the Palmer's.”

“I've heard is one of Captain Lance's daughters, nobody knows which one.”

How long, until someone actually got the story right? How long, until someone connected the dots, until someone actually figured it out?

If this was supposed to protect her, it wouldn't: if anything now everyone would know the nature of Ava's feelings toward her.

She felt furious, upset, confused. None of it made sense.

And there was only one person who could explain it to her. One drunken, staggering, mess of a person whom Sara loved more than life itself.

She waited for the chaos to calm down and as soon as people started mingling again she slipped out the back door of the tavern, without warning Nate or her sister that she was leaving, without thinking it through or making up an excuse. She just went, quickly and silently, she just followed her heart.

Or rather, she chased her heart.

It had been walking around with Ava the whole week, with her at all times, as were her thoughts, worried and frantic like she felt.

  
  


The street was mercifully deserted as she walked East.

She kept looking ahead, expecting to see Ava just a few yards from her, hunched over a wall, throwing up or catching her breath. Or at least, she expected to catch up with her quite easily, since Ava was staggering along and looked fairly intoxicated. But, as she exited town and kept walking uphill, Ava was still nowhere to be seen.

Perhaps the coldness of the night had moved her along quickly, making her hurry albeit with her stumbling walk, to get home faster.

Sara thought it appropriate to do the same, since the air was so cold she could see her own breath every time she exhaled.

Once she reached the house, she saw a light on downstairs, in the study.

It was odd, since she was sure nobody would be there but Ava: she had sent both Mona and Gary away for the festivities so that she could get some time to recover from everything happening to them.

Yet, judging by the state she appeared to be in when she left the tavern, Ava certainly was in no condition to be doing some reading or researching. So what was she doing in the study? Why not head to bed upon returning home?

Sara sighed, deciding there was only one way to get an answer to every question passing through her mind.

She knocked on the front door, harder than probably necessary. If the noise hurt Ava's head because of her intoxication, than certainly Sara couldn't be held responsible for it. It would be her own fault, for drinking so much, so irresponsibly. For getting in a fight. A fight in which she had been hurt, Sara remembered.

A pang of worry suddenly spread through her chest at the thought Ava could be worse off than she had seemed.

The door opened a moment later, Ava smiling slightly at the sight of her.

“Sara.”

She walked in without waiting for an invitation, letting Ava close the door behind her, then she took her face in her hands and examined her bleeding lip.

“I'm fine,” Ava reassured her.

“You're bleeding.”

“It's a small cut, it'll be healed completely in no time.”

Sara kept looking at it a moment longer, then her eyes traveled up to Ava's own.

“I almost stopped you. Nate didn't let me. But it'll barely make a difference, people will put two and two together eventually. They'll know you were fighting about me.”

“Perhaps. It won't matter, Sara.”

“Of course it won't, not to you. You've given up on being Governor, haven't you? I was right about that being your grand plan, wasn't I?” Sara accused, letting go of her and stepping back, heading toward the source of the dim light coming into the hallway: the study.

She discarded her coat on one of the chairs, sighing heavily.

“Let me disinfect the cut.”

“I already have,” Ava reassured.

“I'm sure you did a great job, while drunk,” Sara scoffed, clearly unconvinced. “It's a miracle if you've even managed to aim at your face at all.”

She was searching around for the gauze and disinfectant already on the desk, when she noticed the first drawer had been left open. There was something, a small box covered in black velvet, on the desk. And it was clearly not part of the medical supplies Ava was using to tend to her wound.

“Will you stop moving around for a moment and actually look at me, Sara?” Ava asked softly, her hands on Sara's arms, making her turn around slowly.

Sara leaned back on the desk, finding herself between the edge of it and Ava's body, she looked up into her eyes.

“You're utterly lucky, Miss Lance, nobody has followed you here.”

“I was very careful,” Sara reassured her in a whisper. “No one saw me leave the tavern.”

“Good. Or this whole week would've been for nothing. We had agreed on Sunday, my love, but I cannot say I'm surprised you're here,” Ava leaned in closer, kissing Sara's cheek gently. “I must admit, I'm quite content we finally have the chance to be actually alone, even if it so late at night and completely inappropriate for you to be here.”

For a moment, she felt like she couldn't breathe, having Ava so close to her, being so affectionate, being her Ava again.

“Yes, considering it's night, we're alone, and you're drunk.”

Ava smiled. “Two out of three are true. But still, I should walk you home.”

She frowned, taking another look at Ava. Not at her lip, not at her appearances, but just at her. Looking into her eyes, Sara realized, they looked clear as day and as kind as ever. As they did the night before, when Ava had tasted nothing like wine.

“You're not drunk. How? _Why_?” She pushed on her chest, and the General stepped back immediately, granting Sara the possibility to take a step away from her. “Ava, I can't take this anymore. I want to know what's going on and I want to know it _now_.”

Ava sighed, nodding. “Yes. I think it's best I explain it to you myself. Have a seat, it's quite a long story. And please remember not to be mad with your father or Nate, they were following orders. The only person who deserves your anger is me.”

Sara frowned, already disliking where this explanation was headed.

  
  


_When Ava met with Oliver on Monday, she asked for a rather secluded table where they could talk undisturbed about what her plan was._

“_How do we do this? You said you had something in mind?” Oliver prompted immediately._

“_Mr Queen, are you sure-”_

“_I am. I want to take him down and I can only do it with your help. Plus, I've heard what you said to Dig at Nate's dinner the other week, about wanting to make this city better for everyone, and I wholeheartedly agree with the sentiment. I want you to be Governor and I know this will help with that as well.”_

_Ava considered his honesty for a moment, but he appeared to be genuine, so she nodded and took a last look around the place, before she started explaining._

“_When your father approached me at the Fair, he told me, amongst other things, he didn't need a candidate, he didn't need Colonel Diggle anymore, because he could easily make you run as his candidate.”_

“_That's preposterous. First of all, I'm not military-”_

“_You have a noble title. That's enough, if you have your own land and wealth.”_

“_Which I don't,” Oliver reminded her._

“_Not yet,” Ava countered. “But if your father needs to make you run, he'll have to take care of that, move all his properties to you.”_

“_I'd own everything? He'd be...”_

“_Powerless. Yes. But...” she sighed. “He won't just sign it over if you ask, it needs to come from him.”_

“_Okay. So he would have to need me to run.”_

“_Yes, which he would, if he knew you'd have a decent chance at winning. I'm meeting with my people this Friday. Rip, Nate, Quentin... and I'll ask Diggle to be there.”_

_Oliver frowned, shaking his head. “I'm not sure-”_

“_Hear me out,” Ava stopped him. “We meet here everyday after work, get a few glasses, make some unwanted noise. On Friday, I'll show up at the meeting late and in terrible shape. I've already warned Captain Lance and Nate of this plan, of course, least they seek medical help for thinking I've gone insane before we can go forth with the rest of the plan.”_

_Oliver chuckled at that._

“_John will see I don't stand a chance of actually becoming Governor, he'll run to your father and tell him he wants his funds back, he wants to run against me himself. You know your father isn't a very forgiving man.”_

“_He won't give him a second chance,” Oliver agreed. “If I'm there at the right moment...”_

“_Yes, if you're there and you just got out of a fight with your soon-to-be political opponent, telling your father how much you wish to destroy me...”_

“_He'll ask me to run. He'll propose it to me as his own idea.”_

“_We have to hope he will, yes,” Ava nodded._

“_He'll sign everything over. Then I'll kick him out and endorse you publicly,” Oliver finished in her place._

“_Or stab me in the back and be Governor, that's up to you.”_

“_Don't,” he shook his head. “I've got your back. We can do this together, only if we trust each other.”_

_Ava nodded again. “Let's start drinking then, we have to put on a good show. I've already asked Charlie and Amaya for the light stuff, it's a code we used when I had to make sure some of my men were cut off wine at a certain point in the evening, so it'll be mostly water. Put on a good act.”_

_Oliver hesitated at that. “If Sara sees you drink too much-”_

“_I've already made my considerations, Oliver. I know what it's at stake, I know the risks. But your father is a loose cannon right now, he could destroy her life on a whim. I wish I could speak to her, warn her, I do. But that isn't an option, for more reasons than one. Once she's safe, I can beg for her forgiveness, and hope she'll understand why I did this. Quentin already told me he'll play along with Diggle and that he thinks the plan will work.”_

_Oliver nodded. “It's best if only the four of us know. It's too risky any other way,” he knew it was the only way, but he also understood Ava could lose much more than she already had if this went sideways._

  
  


_Roy saw Sara's disappointed looks to the table where Ava and Oliver were entertaining the company of Lisa Snart and Dr Snow, and didn't fail to report it to Thea, who reprimanded her father for ruining their lives. Oliver overheard the bulk of it and reported it to Ava the following day: the plan was working._

_Two of Ava's men, who knew their checks came from Queen's money, reported Sara's conversation with Nate at the school's construction site on Tuesday. A groom informed Robert about how Sara had begged Oliver to stay away from Ava. And with every step, Oliver gained faith in the plan._

_Then, Saturday came._

“_John came by the house this morning, he told my father you're completely out of it, saying he could actually win. My father slammed the door in his face, so everything's worked out exactly like we needed it to.”_

“_Good, that's good,” Ava nodded. “Now you need to provoke me so I can punch you in the face.”_

“_I beg your pardon?”_

“_Your father needs to believe you're suddenly furious with me. We need to fight. John's at the counter, he'll walk you home after we're thrown out, so he won't have a chance to follow me East.”_

“_Why would that be a problem?”_

“_Because you'll have to punch me back. And if Sara doesn't try to intervene or yell at me before I leave, she'll sure try to once I'm out that door. So he needs to be far from here.”_

_Oliver hesitated again._

“_What do you want me to say?”_

_Ava considered, for a moment, if it would really work out as she had predicted. “If there's word around I'm fond of someone already, nobody would question a quick proposal. I've made clear to Quentin, as soon as Robert has nothing left to his name, I'll propose to her. Even if Laurel isn't wed, it's not illegal, if a bit improper.”_

“_It needs to be malicious?”_

“_Yes. Be as cruel as you can, it needs to warrant a brawl. Say she would never love me back, something that would make me see red.”_

_Oliver nodded. “I think I might just have the thing. After dinner's over, we can start a fight at the counter. I'll ask John to bring me back and vent to my father about how much I want to end your career and destroy your life.”_

“_Perfect. If this works, we won't be able to speak to each other for a while, Oliver.”_

“_I know. But I'll have your back, don't doubt my loyalty.”_

“_Don't doubt mine,” Ava echoed. “You've been a reliable friend this week. I'm glad I've accepted your offer.”_

“_It was more a cry for help, really. And I'm glad you've helped so much. Here's to loyalty,” he raised his glass._

_Ava mimicked the gesture. “Here's to trust.”_

_Their glasses touched, both of them desperately hoping the other actually meant the things they'd said._

  
  


“You were faking it? The whole week?”

“If you mean the drunken and disorderly behaviour, yes we were,” Ava nodded.

“What you said about your ghosts...”

“You already know there's only one thing that quiets them, Sara. And it was never drinking. I'm sorry you worried about me, I'm so deeply, completely sorry I had to put you through this. But he really does have eyes and ears everywhere. He's known everything you've done, and if he's believing Oliver's story right now, it's partly because of you.”

“You really told my father you'd propose as soon as nothing is in Robert's name anymore?”

Ava nodded, getting up and walking to the desk, retrieving the velvet box form it and walking back to Sara.

“I suppose this is quite unconventional, but,” she sat down next to her, opening the box so Sara could take a look at its content. “I've had it since the day at the bay, you asked me if I'd propose when the time was right and I was so sure of it, it felt silly waiting to buy it. And this looked perfect for you, so I-” she looked up at Sara and stopped abruptly when she saw unshed tears shining in Sara's eyes. “I've upset you. I shouldn't have-”

“No, no,” Sara shook her head, taking Ava's face in her hands, kissing her lips gently. “It _is_ perfect. And I thought... I didn't think you'd want to propose so soon. Everything has been so complicated and I feared perhaps we'd have to wait months, years.”

“I don't fear complications, as long as you're by my side. You're worth everything to me, Sara, everything we've been through, I'd happily go through twice as much if it got me back to you.”

“I wish it could be easier, we've been through enough already, haven't we?”

Ava nodded, eyes pained but sure as ever.

“I thought you might say that. I thought, after the lies and schemes and everything else, you might have had enough.”

Sara shook her head immediately when she saw Ava getting up again.

“It doesn't mean I won't go through this with you, it doesn't mean-”

The air left her lungs when she saw, instead of walking away, Ava had knelt in front of her.

“You're right, Sara. We've been through enough. I want to be with you, I want the rest of our lives to start as soon as possible. I don't want this to be up to anything else but our will.”

Sara held her breath, imagining a world where this wasn't dictated by Darhk's life, Robert's possessions, Quentin's permission, but just by them. It would be quite a nice world, yes, but how could it be so in their own?

“I'm asking you to marry me, not a year from now, or even a month from now. We can elope as soon as possible. We could go to Central City, Ray can marry us as soon as we get there. It wouldn't be perfect, your family couldn't be there, and people will talk, but we could be together, hold hands on the streets, walk side by side, go to the bay as soon as the wether allows it again. We could be free. To love each other. To be together.”

Sara thought about it just for a moment, feeling the fear and worry dissipate instantly at the prospect of finally having what she had desired all along within her reach. They could be together, they could be free.

There was nothing, no amount of anguish, that could ever make her ponder her answer to the question Ava was posing. It had always been the same.

“There's nothing more I want in this world.”

Ava smiled at that, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes. Yes, I'll marry you as soon as possible. I don't want to wait a minute longer than absolutely necessary.”

Ava smiled broadly, putting the ring on Sara's finger and then kissing her knuckles lightly. They both knew she'd have to take it off before leaving Ava's house. But, for a moment, the world outside it vanished completely, and it was just them, together, engaged, happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (This was originally two separate chapters, so I'm sorry if it's long/a bit disconnected within itself.)
> 
> **If you feel the story has become ripetitive/boring please feel free to consider this their happy ending! :)**  
If not, buckle in because the journey to governorship is just starting, there'll be a lot of drama ahead and a lot of answers as well!
> 
> PS: I did say Ava wasn't going to get engaged to Oliver/a man.  
PPS: Oliver got punched, as many of you wished. Hope it was as satisfying as you imagined? I mean it was staged but it's not like Ava didn't immediately jump at the chance to land one on him :p


	45. Chapter 45

Sara got up from the couch and pulled Ava up along with her, kissing her fiercely. She felt giddy having Ava back when she thought she could have lost this for good, she felt elated. Ava held her up in her arms and kissed her back for a moment, but eventually she leaned back, touching her forehead to Sara’s.

“I don’t think it’s wise to keep it on your finger,” she pointed out.

Sara leaned back fully, sighing, then turned her back to Ava, moving her hair to the side. The General got the hint, unlocking Sara’s necklace.

“My sister gave this to me. I rarely take it off, it won’t be strange that I have it with me at all times, I just have to be careful and keep the pendants hidden,” she said, taking off the ring after one last longing look at it, putting it on the chain as well, letting Ava lock it back for her.

Ava kissed the back of her neck, then hugged Sara from behind, arms circling her waist, as she kissed Sara’s temple. Sara turned her head, catching Ava’s lips with her own, sighing contently.

Ava smiled as she leaned back to let Sara turn in her arms, tightening her hold again once they were standing front to front.

Sara frowned for a moment, then swatted her arm.

“I was so incredibly worried about you. You should’ve told me.”

“One of the things I love about you is how you wear your heart on your sleeve. I’m sorry I worried you.”

“Never lie to me ever again, Ava. I’m serious.”

Ava considered for a moment, then nodded. “I promise.”

Sara kissed her again then, standing up on her tiptoes, smiling against her lips. Ava held her close, her hands gentle but steady on Sara’s hips, keeping her close.

“I should-”

Sara knew how the sentence ended. She knew Ava would say it was time to walk her home, or that she shouldn’t have been there in the first place. So she didn’t let her finish, instead kissing her again, pulling her closer, trying to make Ava forget that they weren’t supposed to be doing this, that she wasn’t supposed to be there.

It didn’t work.

“Sara.”

“I know.”

Ava sighed, bowing to hide her face against Sara’s neck, as Sara’s fingers played with her hair. “You know I don’t want you to go,” Ava’s voice was as soft as Sara had ever heard it.

Sara couldn’t help but smile, pressing her lips against Ava’s cheek. “It’s perfect then, because I don’t want to go either.” She kissed her cheek again, then her jaw, her neck. “I really want to stay.”

Ava pulled her even closer, but Sara knew she was about to protest. A knock at the front door prevented her from doing just that.

“Give me a moment, it’s probably just Nate.”

She stepped back, kissing Sara’s forehead one last time before exiting the study.

As she opened the door, she felt her heart starting to hammer in her chest.

“Captain Lance,” she had to force herself not to glance at the open study’s door. “Please come in,” she invited him inside, closing the door behind him.

“Laurel got back home, she lost track of Sara at the dinner. She told me you and Oliver had a...” he glanced down at Ava’s split lip, “disagreement. I thought perhaps she might’ve followed you home, to make sure you were okay.”

Sara knew she had no other option but to take her chance and come out of the study, so she did. She looked at her father, then stopped by Ava’s side, looking at her lip. “Disinfect it again tomorrow, it should heal just fine. Goodnight, General.”

Ava nodded, trying not to feel anguish at Sara’s detached tone. Quentin couldn’t know Ava told her the truth, they would risk he kept a closer eye on them and that would put a wrench in their plans.

“Thank you for checking up on me. Goodnight, Miss Lance. Captain, I do apologize for not declining Sara's offer to help.”

“It’s quite alright. Are you okay?”

“I will be,” Ava assured. “Have a safe walk back.”

Quentin nodded, then he stepped out to catch up with his daughter. As Ava looked at them while closing the door, she saw Sara touching her necklace, knowing it held her ring now. She had the good sense of waiting until after she had shut the door before smiling.

  
  


“What happened at the tavern?” Quentin asked as soon as they were out Ava's property.

Sara sighed, not meeting her father's eyes as she kept looking ahead.

“Mr Queen said something rude to the General, I can imagine whom the argument was about and I suppose you can as well. She gave him three warnings, then he said something else and she landed a punch. He punched her back.”

“He punched a General? The nerve he has,” Quentin muttered, but Sara could hear his heart wasn't into the reprimand, she knew he knew Ava had instructed him to.

“The nerve _she_ has!” Sara scoffed. “The Queen's are the closest thing to royalty Starling has, if she wants to become Governor-”

“Ava knows what she's doing, Sara.”

“I know,” she said too quickly. “I mean, Laurel said so as well, Nate said the same. I suppose I'll have to trust her judgement.”

Quentin glanced at her sideways, still walking. “Do you still-” he considered his words carefully. “Are you still fond of the General?”

Sara's fingers touched her own neck, feeling the ring under her dress, a faint smile gracing her lips before she forced it away again. “Yes. Of course. I've told you, dad, there could never be anyone else.”

Quentin saw the smile, the gesture. He was well aware there was nothing at that point in time that could be as catastrophic and as damaging to Ava's career, as much as love. As much as loving someone not proper, or doing something improper for love of someone. And he knew how Ava would have done absolutely anything for Sara. It was a dangerous combination.

“You aren't mad with her then?”

“Oh, I'm furious. About the drinking, the brawling, the tardiness. But I'm not her wife, and I'm not even her friend anymore. I can do nothing but tend to her wounds.”

“Her face will heal just fine,” he said, but they both knew, Sara was talking about something deeper than that. “She hasn't said anything else to you?”

“Oh, she has said plenty. That it wasn't proper for me to have followed her there, that it was too late for me to be inside her home, but she was preaching politeness to me with a split lip,” Sara scoffed, shaking her head. “I must say, I'm glad those two won't be hanging out around each other anymore.”

Quentin hummed, then let the topic drop altogether once they reached the house, Laurel waiting for them to get back.

“Did you see the brawl?”

“Hardly a brawl, they threw one punch,” Sara said curtly. “I tried to step in before they did, Nate stopped me. Said he was protecting me. I'm most certain neither would have stricken with me standing between them; but so it goes, he didn't let me try.”

“Perhaps it's best this way,” Quentin intervened.

“Where were you?” Dinah was the one to voice the question that had been running through Laurel's mind.

“There was... an altercation at the tavern, Sara wandered away from the commotion and Laurel lost track of her,” Quentin told her, his tone was final enough to prevent Dinah from pointing out he hadn't really answered her. “Go to bed, it's late,” he told his daughters. “Both of you, please.”

Laurel nodded and waited for Sara before heading off.

“Is she okay?” Laurel whispered once she was sure her father wouldn't hear.

“She will be. So will Oliver. Our idiots will be fine,” Sara sighed. “If I don't kill them myself.”

“If you need help with that...” Laurel chuckled. “They'll get wiser eventually, we'll have to wait them out.”

“So we will,” Sara sighed again.

She walked into her room and closed the door behind herself before taking off her necklace so she could look at the ring again. The ring itself was utterly perfect, but it wasn't just that, it was the meaning of it. Ava promising they would get married as soon as possible, that they would be able to hold hands in the streets and walk into town together quite soon, that was what had Sara smile to herself like a fool.

Soon, so soon, everything would be sorted out.

  
  


Ava went back to the study as soon as the Lance's had left, putting away everything she had used to treat her wound and then grabbing some paper while returning to the desk.

She started writing immediately, only to stop mid sentence, realizing she had no idea who she could trust. She knew Roy had spoken with Thea, relying some informations indirectly to Robert, and some of her own men had spoken with him directly. If a letter like the one she had intended to write fell into the wrong hands, it could be catastrophic. It could destroy every step forward they had taken that week.

Eventually, she crafted a polite letter, starting by asking Nora how she was and how things were upstate, how was Ray and if her father had had any improvements. She then told Nora how things had gotten harder recently, how she had fallen into an hill-advised friendship and she needed to go back to her old self, how perhaps she needed some time away from Starling and from being a General.

She knew it would sound like utter nonsense to Nora: Ava loved her city and her job. But it was coherent enough that nobody who didn't know her as well as Nora did would have questioned it, and it would do in case the letter got intercepted.

She then asked Nora if perhaps she could use a brief visit from an old friend, but not pressuring her to write back with urgency. After all, while they were both tired of waiting, they were in no such hurry that Ava was willing to risk exposing them again and prompt a retaliation from Mr Queen, so she would have to sooth Sara and ask a little more patience from her as they waited for Nora to let them know when a visit would be convenient.

Once she was done with the letter, she sealed it and put it in the inside pocket of her uniform, so she could ask for it to be delivered as soon as she headed into town on Monday: after all, it would be suspicious to send un-urgent mail on a Sunday, and she was supposed to be nursing a hangover and a large bruise, so it would be fair to assume she wouldn't have been writing a letter during the night. The fact that she wasn't, in fact, nursing said hangover, but was instead only thinking about Sara, was what had prompted her to get to writing right away.

Sara.

Sara had agreed to marry her.

Ava had been afraid she wouldn't want to do it away from her family, which would've been fair albeit it would have complicated things a bit further. This way, they could put a stop to this Robert Queen nonsense at once. Perhaps it wouldn't be the most romantic ceremony, but two people who loved each other as much as they did, surely didn't need a grand wedding to have a perfect marriage.

For the first time in quite a long time, she felt happy, free of worry, and was actually believing that it all would work out in their favour eventually.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I know not a lot happens in this one plot-wise, I wanted to post a double-chapter again but I didn't have the time to edit it, so I thought this would be better than nothing. If you're still reading: thank you <3


	46. The Speech

Ava managed to arrive to work on Monday morning later than her usual time, jacket unbuttoned and hair down. She was still set on helping Oliver carry through with the plan they had agreed upon, even if now, with time and space – and a heavy silence – between them, doubt threatened to get a hold of her often.

She knew there was no other way but to leap, to trust Oliver blindly, hoping Oliver would trust her back.

Nate and Rip played their part perfectly as well, sighing and scolding her silently for her disheveled appearances. Ava could feel the eyes on her, and she even saw Robert Queen walk by the school site in the early afternoon, no doubt wanting to see for himself that Ava was in fact as far gone as his son had no doubt told him.

Sara didn't go into town at all, and if Robert still had his men reporting to him he would take that as a sign that even the younger Lance had given up on Ava, at last.

It was over, in his eyes he had won.

“Mr Queen has called a meeting tomorrow, in the town square, after work hours.”

Ava wasn't surprised to hear that, she merely nodded to Nate.

“It is over already. If Oliver eventually runs or not, that matters nothing to us. Robert hasn't got anything anymore, he won't be able to hurt us where it counts.”

Nate nodded, then quickly hid his smile. “There is something I've been meaning to ask of you, but I have to admit I've been quite nervous about it. It would mean a great deal to me if you would do me the honour of being my best woman the day of my wedding.”

“Nate. That would be a great privilege, I'm moved you decided to ask me. Yes, of course. I'd be so happy to be your witness.”

It was a day of happiness and small victories, as well as bigger ones.

  
  


  
  


When people started gathering around the town square Sara was coming down the path from the East, arm in arm with Laurel and a strange worry gnawing at her stomach. She knew there was a possibility it all would go wrong in such a short while that everything else would crumble around it, yet she also knew this was merely a formality to Ava: they had already won.

Even if Oliver ran, Robert would be but a retired old man and someone would hardly give him the time of day if he started speaking hill about everyone's most loved General, or about Sara herself even.

At the same time, she knew Ava had worked her whole career, her whole life, for the upcoming election. And it could all go away if Oliver announced he would run.

When they got to the square, the General was there already, looking dapper. Her hair was up, her uniform was spotless and she looked back to her diligent self. She was talking to her own father and Sara saw nothing damaging into joining their conversation, Robert be damned.

“General Sharpe.”

“Miss Lance, Miss Lance,” Ava nodded and smiled to them politely. “Your father and I were discussing what the fuss might be about, we reckon we'll soon find out.”

“Yes, we were quite curious as well,” Laurel nodded, then turned to look at Oliver.

He was talking to his father and, as they all turned to look at them, they saw as Robert told him something and grasped his shoulders, Oliver seemed moved by whatever he'd said and hugged him impetuously.

Sara saw the smile on Ava's face dim and just by the look in her eyes Sara could pinpoint the exact moment she realized Oliver wouldn't betray his own father, no matter what he had done to them before.

Robert got on the makeshift stage shortly after, announcing his retirement and how he had signed everything over to Oliver, the family company, all their properties, as he was ready and willing to take over for his old man and was going to be the new front man of the Queen's family.

“You can still win against him,” Quentin whispered as Oliver was taking his old man's place, the two hugging briefly as they crossed paths.

“Yes, I shall try my best. I did not want to partake in a petty war but if I must, then-” she nodded sharply. “It's what we'll do.”

The crowd fell quiet while Oliver cleared his voice.

“Good afternoon to you all and thank you for coming. As my father anticipated, this speech isn't merely to announce a change in the managing of our businesses, but to make an announcement. As most of you know by this point, Governor Darhk has fallen hill and won't be able to maintain his duties for the remaining length of his mandate. Even if he were to miraculously regain his strength, his mandate ends in May and we are looking at an election soon after.”

This wasn't really new information for anyone who had been listening to the rumour mill, since Nora had been in town everyone already knew what was happening with the Governor and there had been talk and speculations about how long the old man would last and about wether his son in law would make an attempt to fill in, or would leave the burdens and privileges of the governorship to someone else.

The interest of everyone present skyrocketed at the mention of an upcoming campaign. Quentin looked at Ava and she turned to smile at him briefly, to let him know everything would be alright regardless.

Life would have to be tougher for a while, but it wouldn't be anything they couldn't handle.

“Therefore, I would like to give my unconditional support to a dear friend of mine.”

Sara felt her heart leap, turning to look at Ava, seeing a sparkle in her eyes that wasn't there a moment before. There was hope yet. Even Quentin's smile had returned to his face, although he tried to hide it.

“Despite our differences and disagreements, there is no one else in the State more apt at taking over the position than her, and I believe most of you will be inclined to agree with me. Tales of her conquests in the army have already been spread largely, but I'd also like to point out how well she's been doing in rebuilding this city we love so much, including the works in the square we're standing in, which will reprise as soon as the school for our children has been completed. She's capable, resourceful and most competent in her field.”

Sara barely heard Laurel's disbelieving comment about what was happening, so intent on listening carefully to make sure she wasn't misunderstanding the meaning behind his words.

“General Ava Sharpe, if you'd like to join me for a moment, I'd be happy to let you say a few words on the matter.”

Ava looked around for a moment as people turned to her, but then quickly made her way to the stage and stopped beside Oliver, they shook hands and then he took a step back and stood beside her dutifully.

“As Mr Queen has said, there should be an upcoming campaign for the governorship soon and my candidacy is not in doubt. The support Oliver has given me as a friend in the past and as a collaborator recently has been precious and appreciated. I believe that, working together, we can make this city and this State better. I don't ask for your blind support. I ask for a chance to prove to you all that I would use this as an opportunity to serve, not to rule, and to make things better for everyone who has been struggling since the war. Thank you.”

Sara kept looking with rapt attention at Ava as she shook hands and smiled to the people approaching her. Robert looked furious, but he was waiting patiently as his son stayed by the General's side, not deeming appropriate an outburst in front of the public.

“Nothing can get in her way now,” Sara whispered, a smile on her lips and in her voice.

“Except herself,” Quentin sighed.

Sara frowned, turning to him to ask what he meant when she saw Nate approach them and decided it would be best to do so at a later time.

“That was grand. She announced it and the timing is good and with the Queen's support! Now we only need Nora to endorse her and it's basically a done deal.”

“Yes, yes,” Quentin nodded and smiled but Sara could tell, something was troubling him, had been since the previous night. She decided she would ask as soon as they had a moment alone.

  
  


Ava was still shaking hands and smiling politely to everyone who approached them, when John Diggle made his way to them, a sour look on his face.

“You played me, General. I was a pawn in your chessboard.”

“You became it the moment you betrayed my trust. If you hadn't gone to Robert, to tell him you had changed your mind again, you would have played no part in it, and you wouldn't have been played,” she explained. “But alas, you couldn't get to him fast enough. Trust is earned, John. And you've done nothing but lose mine ever since you let Mr Queen lie for you. You didn't have it before you went to him behind my back and now I doubt you ever will.”

He laughed bitterly, then nodded curtly and walked away without adding anything else.

They kept greeting everyone who approached after that, things going smoothly until Nate walked to them and Oliver excused himself to go talk to his father.

“Good luck with that.”

“Thank you. Let me know when you want to start planning the campaign and I'll do whatever you need me to,” he shook Ava's hand again.

“Of course. And thank you again, Oliver.”

“It was a pleasure, and I was the one who asked for your help,” he smiled, nodded to Nate, then walked away.

Ava sighed, turning to him with a smile on her face.

“That went well. Now we just need Nora's endorsement of you, that should be the easiest part, and after that we can start campaigning.”

“That is good to hear. I'm waiting for a letter from Nora and I should visit her soon, I can speak to her about an endorsement when I see her.”

“That would be perfect. We can talk more about this tomorrow, I'll let you head home now,” he smiled and nodded to where the Lance's were starting to walk towards the East road.

“Yes, it is quite late. Thank you Nate.”

He smiled again and nodded, hugging her briefly before letting her go East as he headed for the tavern instead.

  
  


“Captain, mind if I walk with you?”

“Not at all. So, quite the eventful day.”

“It really was, but everything worked out in our favour, I believe.”

“I reckon so as well.”

They walked in silence for a while, then Laurel shivered a little.

“It is getting quite cold, even with our coats on.”

“Yes, winters in Starling are often hard and it's almost Christmas, it's due to get colder still,” Quentin assessed.

“Do you have plans for the holidays?” Laurel asked Ava. “Sara mentioned your house being empty, since Mr Green and Miss Wu are away to visit their own families.”

“Not really. I reckon my uncle might invite me to join them for the dinner they host on Christmas Eve, but nothing else.”

“Well, it's also Sara's birthday,” Quentin pointed out. “Perhaps, if you have no other invitations, you should spend Christmas with us. Dinah always cooks too much either way and it would be nice to have you over.”

Ava's first instinct was to decline out of politeness, but then another reason for not making the commitment came to mind: Christmas day was in two weeks. If Nora replied to her letter and they went upstate the following week, they could be married by then. And the Lance's would be furious with them. Accepting the invite now meant complicating things for all of them later, because they would either have to go back on their word or anger Quentin further.

“I'm not sure-”

“Oh, you should!” Laurel insisted, not seeing the perplexed look Quentin was giving Ava. “As a family friend if nothing different, no one should spend Christmas alone!”

Laurel elbowed Sara, and she cleared her throat, trying to come up with an excuse to not insist on the invitation, since her thoughts had been quite similar to Ava's own. Finding no reason at all, she relented and faked a smile.

“Please. It would make me very happy,” she told her sincerely.

Sara knew there was one thing Ava wasn't able to resist and it was that: she would have done absolutely anything to make Sara happy.

“Well then, I look forward to spending Christmas with you all.”

They kept walking, but Quentin was mulling over her daughter's odd behaviour, knowing something wasn't adding up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it was quite obvious, but if you want to let me know what you thought I'd be delighted to hear it!


	47. Fatherly wisdom

When they arrived home, Sara told Laurel to go ahead and get to her room, that she wanted to talk to their father for a minute. Laurel didn't question her wishes and bid the two of them goodnight, while Quentin took off his jacket and headed to the living room.

Sara followed him quietly, waiting until he leaned against the window, looking out into their front yard, at the apple tree barely visible in the yard.

“You know, she was never convinced she should marry for politics instead of love. The day she came and you were so hostile to her, I imagined she would take the out she was given by Laurel saying she was already courting someone else and grow apart from our family altogether,” he nodded to the apple tree, albeit knowing Sara couldn't see it at all from her position on the couch. “But then-” he smiled at the memory.

“But then she came to hold my ladder even though I was doing just fine without her.”

Sara's tone sounded sarcastic and made Quentin chuckle as he shook his head, almost as if shaking off the sarcasm, stripping the sentence of that tone that made it sound so odd.

“I was sure right then, she wanted you to like her. I imagined maybe she had figured your approval would be the path to Laurel's heart – she wasn't wrong about that, but it wasn't what she was after at all.”

“I thought so as well. Or, perhaps, I thought she was doing it for you. She cares about you a great deal and admires you greatly.”

Quentin smiled at that notion fondly. “I sometimes feel I have three daughters. I don't think you know this, but she saved Rip's life at the front, he was sent back home shortly after. She saved mine too.”

“Last summer? When you fell hill?”

“Then, too. Another Colonel would've worked me to death without a care, but she did most my work on top of her own just to make sure I got better. But I meant... in a different way. She gave me a new purpose, after the war. Helped me out of my troubles,” he couldn't bring himself to talk about his addiction other than in vague hints.

Sara nodded, but frowned.

“Dad, why are you telling me this?”

Quentin sighed. “Because she helped you with that ladder when you didn't need her to, Sara. Because of how your mother fixes my clothes before I leave in the morning and of how I pour her water and serve the things she cooks. If you help someone when they don't need you to, you don't do it for the thankfulness or out of politeness, you do it because it makes you feel better to lessen their burden. That kind of partnership is rare, and I have no doubt what it means in your case. She still loves you the same way, and I know you love her too.”

Sara nodded, not bothering to deny it. “You do not sound overjoyed about it.”

“I would be, if I didn't think it odd how well you reacted to her being drunk, getting into a brawl, aligning herself with Oliver. You knew, didn't you?”

Again, Sara didn't bother with a negative answer.

“Since when?”

“After the brawl, I followed her home. It was clear she wasn't drunk at all and I couldn't bare not knowing, I demanded the truth and she obliged.”

Quentin laughed a little. “Of course she did.”

Sara waited for him to add something, but when he didn't she asked the question that had been on her mind since the town square, the one she asked Laurel to leave them alone to ask. “Dad, what did you mean when you said nothing could get in Ava's way except herself?” Sara asked, somewhat sensing it was related to where Quentin was headed with this speech.

“She's the best candidate, both on paper and in practice. Nothing could easily lose her the favour of the people now, not Robert Queen, not even Oliver changing his mind, not a bad campaign, not an incredible lack of luck in completing the works on the school and the square. People hardly care about that stuff, they want someone they admire, someone they like, someone they deem irreproachable. Nothing could get in her way, except...” he turned to Sara slowly. “If she does something morally grey, a personal choice most people would disagree with. Say, for example, if she elopes.”

The look on Sara's face was all the confirmation he needed.

“Oh, Sara.”

He ran a hand through his hair and sighed heavily.

“I knew it, I could've bet my own life-”

“How?”

“Because today you looked like you did on Christmas morning when you were little and you knew you'd get two presents from everyone. You looked thrilled for whatever's to come. And you and I both know there has been just one thing able to put that expression on your face for quite a while now. Or rather, one person.”

“We're in love,” she offered in lieu of an explanation.

“Yes. I'm aware. Two kids ready to throw everything to the dogs for this idyll, you are. Sara, this is more than her career, more than her calling, this is who she _is_. Don't you understand? If you do this, Ava will never be the same again.”

“Dad, if we wait, we'll wait forever. Laurel isn't marrying anytime soon, and it's never going to be proper until-”

“When she's already Governor, she can marry you with no consequences, Sara.”

“It'll be months! We've been through enough dad, what if something else happens that-”

“If you truly love her, you'll love her three, six, twelve months from now.”

“Dad-”

“Sara,” his tone was final. “You know that you, your mother and Laurel are my whole life, I love my family more than anything else, and I've told you Ava's like a daughter to me. I'm telling you, if something were to happen to her, something would happen to me.”

Sara recoiled at that. Even a vague hint at her father's health and how he would suffer if they did this, if Ava sabotaged herself this way, was enough to make her change approach.

“She won't lose. Not even if we go through with it.”

“You can't know that she won't.”

“You can't know that she will!” Sara protested, getting up from the couch. “Dad, we've waited years already. Don't we deserve to be happy?”

“You don't need to be married to be happy. Enjoy the wait, the euphoria of knowing the best is yet to come, the serenity given by the sureness you feel in your heart about your fondness of her. If you're in love with her you'll wait until this doesn't hurt her in a way you can never make better.”

Without waiting for a reply from Sara, he walked out of the living room, heading for his own room, leaving a baffled and torn Sara in his wake.

  
  


The works at the school were proceeding quite well and they would be done before the new year if the rain and the cold didn't get in the way too much. Ava was reassessing the blueprints along with Nate, when she saw Robert Queen walk towards the site like a man on a warpath.

Ava and Nate exchanged a quick look, then they quickly catching up to him before he could enter the building site.

“Mr Queen, good afternoon,” Ava nodded to him, smiling politely.

“General Sharpe. Mr Heywood. I suppose, congratulations are in order.”

Ava nodded politely, a small smile on her face. “I've just thrown my name in, for now. Nothing is decided yet.”

Robert smiled, but it was malevolent in a way neither Ava nor Nate could quite pinpoint. “Yes, that is indeed true.”

Ava had to refrain herself from frowning at his words. Did he know of someone else who would run against her? Or had he some other knowledge obscure to them?

“And congratulations to you as well, on your retirement,” Nate added.

Mr Queen's smile vanished for a moment, but returned a second later, still fake, still bitter.

“Yes, I'm quite glad Oliver has grown some judgement, he's going to take care of the family business from now on.”

“I'm sure he'll fare wonderfully,” Ava assured.

“I'm still available to guide him if the need arises, that doesn't hurt either,” Robert added.

There was a moment of silence and Ava wondered what he was doing at the site, but realized quickly it would be too impolite to ask, so she'd have to be subtler.

“Is everything okay, Mr Queen?”

He nodded sharply. “Indeed, I just wanted everyone to know how happy I am you're running for the governorship, it's quite fortunate we have our own candidate, from our city.”

Ava and Nate exchanged a look.

He wasn't even trying to hide anymore that he was obviously up to something nefarious, they just had no knowledge as to what exactly he was plotting.

“It's nice to have your support, Mr Queen,” Ava told him politely, offering her hand.

He leaned ahead as they shook hands, and spoke so quietly that surely nobody else would hear what he was telling Ava.

“This war you've gotten yourself in the midst of, General, you cannot win. This is bigger than you imagine.”

“It seems to me, Mr Queen, that I have won already.”

He laughed, leaning back and nodded to Nate before turning and walking away without glancing back.

She watched as he went and turned to Nate once he left the site. He had a pensive look in his eyes that Ava didn't quite like to see.

“I'm not imagining it, am I?” He wondered out loud. “He's definitely got something else planned, he does not intend to go out quietly.”

Ava hummed, thinking about how weirdly he had phrased his intentions.

“Yes, indeed. But it matters not if he doesn't do so quietly, as long as he goes out for good.”

“Well, he didn't seem overly concerned, did he?”

“I agree, and that is quite unsettling. Whatever this last move he has planned is, it must be something big enough to make him think he can still come out the winner of this.”

“Ominous, but unlikely. He's got no money, no power, not even the men on our building site who seemed to be loyal to him are anymore. He has nothing left. Whatever he thinks he can do, he cannot.”

Ava hummed again, but she wasn't completely convinced Nate was right about the matter at hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this was so late, things have been crazy over here (as you've probably heard). But since I have some more free time now, I'll try to update twice a week again. No promises, but I'll do my best. If you want to, let me know what you thought about the chapter!


	48. Giving back

Sara knew Ava was home, it was almost dusk and she should have been back from work already, even more certainly now that Gary wasn't working because someone still had to feed Waverider and Ava would want to make sure it was done at a decent time.

She was standing outside the front door, trying to summon the courage to knock, her heart as heavy as if it was made of steel. With a sigh, she took off her necklace, unchaining the ring and then putting it back on with just the pendant Laurel had gifted her hanging from it.

The ring, it was still the most beautiful thing Sara had ever laid eyes upon. She had spent infinite hours looking at it in the brief time she had it, admiring its cut and the gems engraved in it. It was truly mesmerizing.

It wasn't hers to keep anymore.

She had thought about it all night, and that morning as well, and she had come to the conclusion that her father had been right. She couldn't do this to Ava, even if selfishly it would make her the happiest person on the planet, she couldn't go through with it.

It would do unrepairable damage to the love of her life in certain ways, even if it would make her happy in others, and Sara wasn't going to be able to hurt her like that. Quentin had been right, she would never knowingly hurt Ava, not for something that Sara had wanted, and that Ava had rushed mostly to make her happy.

But she also knew, no one could give back a ring, expecting it to be gifted back to herself again eventually. Especially not to a General. Especially not to a soon-to-be Governor.

Sara had her speech ready and she knew it by heart. She had chastised herself anytime her eyes filled with tears because those were not part of her speech and whatever she was going to do, she couldn't cry. She couldn't make this harder on Ava than it already was.

Her heart felt heavy like steel, and as hard as steel it had to be to endure this.

With a steadying breath she knocked on the door and waited, the hand with the ring burning inside it clutched to her chest.

The door opened a moment later and the second she looked into Ava's eyes she felt her heart flutter like it could fly. Ava made steel soar in her eyes.

“Sara? It's late, is everything okay?”

Ava invited her in with a gesture of her hand and closed the door behind her before her hands went to Sara's arms in an attempt to steady her.

Sara used her left hand to move Ava's left away from her right arm and then she pushed it open, putting on it the ring she had been clutching before she could think better of it. She felt a dull ache in her chest the moment she was parted from it.

“I'm sorry,” was the first thing out of her lips and, in hindsight, it was certainly not the best thing she could've said.

Ava looked down and then to her again, her eyes confused and scared; she looked brokenhearted and Sara knew it was all her fault.

“I thought I could do it, but I- I've been thinking about it. And I cannot imagine getting married without my father there, or my sister, or my mom. I'm so sorry but I cannot do it this way.”

Ava frowned, looking down again.

“Is that the only reason?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Sara.”

“It _is_. I don't want to do it if it's in secret. We shouldn't have to hide, to do this like a shotgun wedding or like we did anything wrong.”

“You're right. You are,” Ava told her, breathlessly. There were tears in her eyes, but she swallowed them back. “This should be on our own terms, it should be as easy as breathing. But I don't know how to make this better, easier, or-”

“No, no,” Sara took her face into her hands, looking up into her eyes with all the love and longing she felt for the woman before her. “You do not have to make it easier for it to be worth it, Ava. It already is. To me, you're worth everything, a million times the hardship we've already been through.”

“Then why are you giving this back to me?”

“Because we can't elope.”

“Then we won't. We'll get married with your family present, I'll talk to Quentin-”

“What?” Sara frowned.

“Yes. It'll take longer, we'll have to court openly and properly for a while, but if you're willing to wait a little longer, then so am I.”

“But you-”

“I thought you didn't want to wait, I never wanted to pressure you into something you didn't want, Sara,” Ava's arms circled her waist. “You know how I love you. And you know I've always wanted to do this properly, but I thought I'd lose you if I asked you to keep waiting for me. You've waited years, for me. You've waited even when you thought there was no point in waiting anymore, you waited when you didn't know if I was even alive. For years, you've waited.”

“I'd wait forever for you. I'll wait as long as we have to. Don't you know I love you just the same way you love me?”

Ava kissed her, softly, sweetly.

“You scared me so much, I thought you had a change of heart about marriage.”

“I was scared _you_ might. Giving back a ring is quite final, isn't it?” Sara caressed her cheek, not quite believing Ava still wanted to make things work.

“You're not giving it back,” she smiled reassuringly. “I'll just keep it safe until you can wear it properly.”

Sara smiled at that. “You make me so happy I sometimes feel like I'll start floating.”

Ava chuckled at that. “You make me happy just the same. Now, will you tell me the real reason why-”

“Ava.”

“Sara, please.”

She sighed, but was well aware Ava knew her too well not to know she wasn't being completely honest. “I know you're tired of fighting, but you fought. And you won, making it look almost effortless. The governorship is within your grasp, and I can't be the thing that takes it away, I won't.”

“You think us eloping would jeopardize the elections?”

“Don't you?”

“It might, but you're more important to me than being Governor. If you didn't want to wait, then the choice would be already made. Or rather, there would be no choice. Nothing matters to me more than you do, Sara.”

“Well, nothing matters to me more than you, not even being married to you. This is who you are, my love. We can get married properly, we can court openly now, even if Laurel isn't married. And in due time...”

“Yes, in due time. Quentin did say that, once the matter with Robert Queen was settled, I should ask you to marry me. I'll ask him for your hand again, of course. And if he says he deems it proper for us to court, we can do that and then get married after the elections.”

Sara nodded. “We could spend so much more time together. We could go into town together, garden together like we used to. Proper doesn't have to mean formal or boring.”

Ava chuckled at that, bowing her head to brush her nose against Sara's. “Someone taught me recently that sometimes there is nothing wrong in being a little improper,” she said in a breath, then kissed Sara.

“General Sharpe, this someone is a bad influence on you,” Sara smiled against her lips.

“Oh, but I do love her so deeply, I reckon I should keep her around forever.”

“Forever?”

“My whole life.”

“A long time, for someone so young.”

“I do hope I get a long, long time by her side.”

Sara chuckled, hugging Ava closer, feeling carefree again. Perhaps, her father had been right. Perhaps there was something thrilling about waiting, about knowing the best was yet to come, about being so sure there was a bright future ahead of them. Ava twirled her around in the air and Sara laughed, knowing this time around the wait wouldn't be lonely, and feeling quite good about where things were headed.

It felt to her, even though she had walked to Ava's house intent on ending an engagement, that albeit she no longer had the ring, the promise had just gotten even realer. They were going to get married, and if it had to be with a long engagement beforehand, then Sara was going to make sure the wait was going to be perfect on its own.

  
  


Quentin was pacing the living room while Dinah was sitting down on the couch, annoying her quite a bit.

“Stop that, Quentin, you're driving me mad. She'll be home before dusk, do not worry, she's had her head on straight for a while now.”

Quentin sighed, rubbing his forehead. He was about to tell her how he had doubted their daughter was planning to elope, but he hadn't had the nerve to stop her. How it would be his fault as well, if their daughter got married alone and away from home. If they couldn't be there to see it, to cry from all the joy it would bring them, if they missed it.

“Well, you see, my darling-” he chuckled a little as a way of stalling, visibly worried.

Dinah squinted her eyes at him, knowing he was about to bring up something she wouldn't like, judging by his odd behaviour.

He was about to start explaining when Dinah got up and pointed out someone was coming down the path to their house. He saw Sara, arm in arm with Ava, making her way to the front door, and immediately bolted to the entrance.

When he opened the door, the two women were almost at the front steps. Dinah peeked from behind him and smiled as she saw the General arm in arm with her younger daughter, happy to see them together again. She frowned a little at Quentin's relieved smile, asking him in a whisper whom he thought Sara was with, but he shook his head vehemently, explaining it wasn't like that.

“Captain Lance, Mrs Lance, your daughter came to see me and I thought it best to walk her home, since it's almost dusk,” Ava greeted them with a smile.

“General Sharpe, it's lovely to see you again. How have you been?” Dinah asked politely.

“I've been well,” Ava nodded. Sara nudged her slightly, but it didn't go unnoticed by Quentin and Dinah. “Actually, I wanted to speak with you for a minute, Captain Lance.”

“Certainly, let's go into my study. And Sara, I want to have a few words with you as well, once I'm done,” he sighed, turning and muttering something dangerously close to “nudging a General, the nerve she has,” and escorting Ava inside while Dinah did the same with Sara, heading to the kitchen instead.

“Captain Lance, now that the matter with Mr Queen is sorted I was wondering if perhaps-”

“You didn't go through with it,” Quentin said as soon as the door was shut behind him.

Ava frowned, shaking her head, but he looked at her in a way that made it clear that was no point in denying their previous plan. The General cleared her voice and tried to give him the best explanation she could.

“I'm sorry, sir. I thought she wouldn't wait anymore, she's waited six years already. I thought I'd lose her.”

Quentin sighed, well aware of the reasoning behind the young couple's plan. “It would ruin you, Ava. You know I can't condone this.”

“I know. I shouldn't have suggested it. Sara made it clear she's willing to wait, she wants her family to be there and I agree. I was wondering if perhaps we could court now that everything with Robert is settled. I know a wedding is out of the question until either Laurel is married or I'm Governor, but perhaps-”

Quentin already had his mind made up, and didn't need to hear how much Ava cared for his daughter again, he was well aware of it.

“Yes, I think it'd be wise. You can spend more time together, under a little supervision of course, or in public, but it could be good for you both to get to know each other more, to get acquainted properly.”

“I agree, Captain.”

“Very well, then. You can tell Sara and then stay for dinner. I'm quite sure Dinah won't take no for an answer,” he patted her shoulder in passing.

Sure enough, once they got to the dining room, Laurel and Sara were already starting to set up the table with an extra plate for Ava, announcing Dinah had elected to have the General over for dinner.

“I'd love to stay for dinner,” Ava nodded to Laurel, then turned to Quentin once his older daughter left the room to go tell Dinah the General would indeed stay.

“Ava has made a compelling argument for a courtship,” Quentin told Sara once the three of them were alone. “I'm glad you chose the right path,” he told his daughter while the General busied herself helping with the plates. “And I do think you chose the right person, Sara.”

“Thank you, dad. I think so as well.”

Sara looked up and caught Ava's eyes as she settled the plates on the opposite side of the table, her gaze full of fondness as she watched her move around, then she quickly averted her eyes with a smile on her lips. Sara felt her heart fly, once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, since I skipped a week due to work I wanted to update twice this week so here we go! I know the beginning is stressing but Sara does have her insecurities still, and they're quelled quite quickly... and the second part I hope is sweet enough to make up for it? Hope you liked it!


	49. The Lunch

Sara was elated about her father granting the courtship Ava had asked for, and she intended to take full advantage of it, starting the very next day: that Thursday she headed into town with the intention of keeping Ava company during her lunch break. She had cooked lunch for the two of them and was hoping to spend some time with her in the open, finally.

When she arrived at the school site, Ava was discussing something with Nate. She approached them carefully, suddenly nervous Ava would turn her down. After all, they weren't publicly engaged yet, and Ava hadn't proposed anything so public thus far. It was also true that Quentin had given them the go ahead merely the previous evening, so perhaps the lack of offer to spend time together was due to the lack of time rather than the lack of will.

Sara walked to them slowly, hoping their conversation could get to an end before she had to step in and interrupt them. She waited as Nate nodded one final time and then looked up, seeing her standing around with nothing to do. He smiled, then nudged Ava gently, nodding toward Sara.

Ava's back straightened immediately when she saw her standing there, in the middle of a construction site, waiting to speak with her. She smiled a little as well, then tried to get back her neutral expression.

“Miss Lance,” she greeted her, taking a step toward her. “What brings you here?”

“General Sharpe. I was hoping maybe you could spare some time to have lunch soon? I've brought you something to eat and I thought we could have lunch together,” she looked down at the things she was carrying as if to prove her words true.

Ava quite literally melted at the offer, and her smile, the softness of her expression, the way she looked at Sara right then, made the cooking worth it instantly, even if Ava said she didn't have the time to spare, just the love in her eyes was repayment enough.

“I would love to have lunch with you. Give me just a moment and I'll be right with you,” she said quietly, in her soft tone reserved only for Sara.

She nodded, stepping back and doing her best to not look like a fish out of water standing there without doing anything. She barely had the time to glance around, seeing the school was looking fairly good and the works were about ready to be wrapped up. She then caught some of the workers looking in her direction, whispering amongst themselves, some of them smirking or laughing.

Sara tried her best to ignore it, knowing all too well people would talk seeing her there, because as far as everyone knew she and the General weren't even close friends, but now here she was, bringing her lunch just days after she got into a brawl, allegedly to defend her name. It was only expected for people to talk.

“Here I am, sorry for the wait,” Ava smiled, a hand on Sara's back gently guiding her along, glancing back to the men looking at Sara with a stern eyebrow promptly raised. “I apologize on behalf of my men, they can truly be fond of the rumour mill every now and then.”

“You needn't. It's to be expected, after last Saturday. Perhaps I shouldn't have come here-”

“Nonsense. I am unspeakably glad you did. Despite having had dinner with you last night I was missing you terribly already and there is nothing else I'd rather spend my lunch hour doing than basking in your company.”

Sara smiled, her heart fluttered. “I was missing you as well. So much so, it drove me to cooking. Cooking! Truly a force to be reckoned with, the strength with which I wanted to see you.”

“Indeed,” Ava chuckled. “We can sit here, it's not the most comfortable place, but it's somewhat secluded from the site,” Ava led her to a small garden behind the school, frozen now that it was winter, but with a bench next to it they could sit on.

“It's perfect.”

“Thank you, Sara. It truly is perfect, and quite the lovely surprise.”

“I'm glad you didn't think it was too forward of me,” Sara unpacked their lunches, still unsure about her presence and trying to busy herself with something to do.

Ava's hand got on top of hers, steadying her movements for a moment. “It was sweet. And caring. And not at all too forward.”

The loving look in Ava's eyes left no doubt she meant every word. Sara smiled, feeling content to be spending some time alone with the General, finally both of them free of worry.

“I was actually planning on stopping by your house later, to ask if you and your sister would perhaps want to have tea with me tomorrow. I could stop by on my way back and we could head East together.”

“Me and my sister?” Sara wondered.

“Yes, it wouldn't be proper for us to be alone, Sara.”

She nodded, then smiled. “I would love to and I'm sure Laurel won't say no.”

Ava returned the smile, glad Sara had agreed to see her the following day as well. They conversed during lunch, Sara asking how much longer the works at the school would go on and Ava explaining they were ready to wrap them up the following week, then Ava asking when was Sara planning to resume her gardening and Sara explaining it would be the right time to plant seeds only when the ground unfroze after the winter. They kept talking about anything and everything, feeling content to be finally able to do so with no fear.

  
  


True to her word, Ava stopped by the following day, the Lance sisters already waiting for her at the crossroads between the main street and their house's path. Ava greeted them politely, then the three of them made their way East.

Once they were inside, Ava showed them to the living room, asking them to make themselves comfortable and she would be back in just a moment. Laurel and Sara quickly lost track of time while discussing everything that had been happening in the previous weeks, which Laurel had now been caught up on. When Ava went back, it was with a tray in her hands, with tea, cups and a small basket of what looked like freshly baked cookies.

“Oh my, I didn't recall until now Miss Wu is visiting her family,” Laurel got up immediately. “We should have offered to help.”

“Nonsense,” Ava smiled. “I've invited you, Miss Lance. And the only help you need to aid me with today is in finishing these cookies. I must admit I baked largely too many.”

“You baked these yourself?!” Sara asked, immediately reaching for one.

“Yes, my mother taught me when I was six or seven,” Ava answered, while inviting Laurel to sit back down and then doing the same herself. “Of course, I didn't quite remember the recipe when I grew up, but she left all the recipes of everything she's taught me how to cook in writing.”

“These are fantastic,” Sara hummed, mouth still half full.

She saw the start of a laugh on Ava's lips, but the General cleared her voice and suppressed it quickly.

“Thank you,” she nodded. “What about you, Miss Lance, I know your sister despises cooking and baking, what is your take on the matter?” Ava asked Laurel, trying to maintain a polite conversation and not get too caught up in Sara.

“Ah yes, my sister likes the outdoors better, she's always getting her hands dirty somehow, it drives our poor mother insane. I've always thought reading better suited for myself and, finding myself so often in the house, and being the older one, I was always roped into helping around the kitchen. I don't quite enjoy it, but I'm good at it.”

“It's an useful skill to have. At least, my parents taught so,” Ava agreed. “Since we had no workers around the property at all, my mom did all the cooking. She's taught me a lot of it, and so has my father about how to manage a land.”

“And so young you were when they passed,” Laurel frowned empathetically. “I'm sorry, what a delicate topic we've stumbled into.”

“I don't particularly mind it,” Ava reassured.

“So you had no workers? At all?” Sara asked.

“No, not before my parents passed. My aunt demanded my uncle hired the Tomaz's or she wouldn't move in. My uncle, Major Heywood, and Mrs Heywood, wanted to take me in with them, they cared about me a great deal and Nate and I have always gotten along. But my aunt insisted my grandfather would have hated the idea and convinced Hank to let her take care of me.”

“Didn't you have any relatives on your father's side?” Laurel asked.

Ava shook her head. “An only child, my father. It's where our wealth came from,” she explained. “As I've told Sara, my grandfather – my father's father – was a despicable man. Greedy as they come, owned most of the East side of the city, much like the Queen's do the West side, made his money from rents. Died rich, left everything to my father, he sold every bit of land we owned to the renters for a modest price, only kept this house. But he was still set for life and so was I even before I decided to enlist. Any obscure relative we might've had definitely vanished once there was no lands to profit off anymore.”

“You did mention your dislike for the man, yes,” Sara recalled. “So you mother was the Major's sister? What happened to your aunt?”

“Packed and moved once it became apparent I wouldn't be as gullible as my mother was, bless her soul that woman would have blindly followed her sister her whole life, had she not married my father.”

“You seem rather fond of them,” Sara noticed. “Your parents, I mean.”

“I am. I do believe we're unable to see our parent's flaws until later in life and, unfortunately, I never got to that.”

“I didn't now your family's wealth came from land deeds,” she added.

“I don't believe many people our age do, it's in the past now, this city's history.”

“What I meant was,” Sara tried to explain, glancing at Laurel briefly. “Maybe my father was right, maybe there are quite a few things we don't know about each other. Yet.”

“I'm sure there are,” Ava nodded. “So, Miss Lance, would you want to tell me something I don't know about you, now?” she teased Sara, maintaining a straight face that almost had Laurel chuckling out loud, had she not seen her sister's determined look.

Sara glanced around the room, trying to find something about herself Ava might not yet have learned, when her eyes fell on Ava's sword collection. She knew one of those to be the sword she fought with at the front, another one was probably her grandfather's judging by the oldness of it, and surely a couple of those had to be spares, but the remaining two looked like training swords.

“I can fence.”

“Really?” Ava asked, quite surprised.

“Yes, quite well, too.”

Ava was looking at her with an amused glint in her eyes, like the thought Sara could actually be good at something so peculiar was too strange to be believed. So, naturally, Sara was compelled to prove her wrong. She got up and marched to the swords, picking up the two she had believed to be for practice and checking to see if their edge was indeed dull. Once she did so, she turned to Ava again, raising an eyebrow and staring at her until the General got up from her chair and took a step to her, convinced Sara wanted to show her something.

Instead, once she was a couple feet away, one of the swords was thrown in her direction. Out of reflexes alone Ava caught it, but then let it hang at her side.

“Sara, I don't think-”

She parred Sara's first blow easily, doing the same with a little more effort with the following few that came right after.

“You do know how to fence.”

“Our father taught us both,” Sara explained, nodding to Laurel. “Wanted us to be able to defend ourselves if we needed to.”

“Wise man, as always,” Ava whispered. “And a great teacher. But did he teach you everything he taught me?” she raised a challenging eyebrow.

Sara almost scoffed at that, as a playful smile made its way on her face.

“I can show you what he taught me, if you stop holding back and standing still as if your feet are glued to the ground,” she challenged.

Ava turned to Laurel. “Miss Lance, I know this isn't really proper, but would you mind-”

“Please, General, go ahead. My sister is in dire need of a lesson in humility,” Laurel chuckled at Sara's almost offended expression.

Ava turned back and raised her sword, her stance adjusting slightly. When Sara tried to stroke again, she was ready. They kept trading back and forth for a few minutes, but eventually Ava managed to disarm her.

“You are really talented with the sword, if I may be so bold, if you practiced it often you could even become better than I am,” Ava told her when they were putting the swords back, Sara's expression a little sour.

“You're lucky it's been so long since I've practiced,” Sara agreed.

“I am, indeed,” Ava whispered, something entirely different shining in her eyes now. “We could do this more often. If your sister would like to come for tea and cookies, that is.”

Laurel turned when she heard herself being mentioned, half a cookie already in her mouth. She chewed, then swallowed, while nodding enthusiastically.

“I wouldn't mind at all, I have quite a lot of free time and your baking skills are amazing. And watching my sister lose to you is an added bonus I cannot pass upon.”

Ava smiled, then turned to Sara.

“You mean it? You would teach me how to fence?”

“You already know how to fence, I'll just help you practice,” Ava nodded. “I would love to.”

“Even if it's an improper skill to have?”

“Your father deems it proper, doesn't he? And I would certainly like to know you could protect yourself if the need arose.” She must've thought of something because she immediately frowned and looked down. “Perhaps-” she pushed her lips together, not knowing how to phrase her thoughts in a way that wouldn't upset Sara. “It would be completely understandable if you didn't want to, it's different than your father teaching you.”

Sara frowned a little, trying to discern what had made Ava go back on the offer. She thought about what had made Ava change behaviour and recalled her words: “_I would like to know you could protect yourself_,” she had said. The words immediately rang a bell in her mind, to the day when she and Ava crossed paths while the General – then Colonel, back then – was on her way to the school and she scared away two men that had been hanging around Sara.

She recalled her behaviour after she had seen Ava unsheathe her sword.

“I would like nothing more than to learn from you, but I don't want to be a burden. You've already taught me how to ride Waverider, and you-”

“You could never be a burden to me, Sara. I cherish every moment we spend together.”

“Then yes, it would make me very happy. Thank you, it was very kind of you to offer,” Sara smiled, brushing her hand to Ava's on her way back to the table.

Laurel was hiding her smile behind the cup of tea she was sipping, overjoyed by seeing her sister so happy and the General so enamoured with her. It was truly a sight for sore eyes, their genuine and utter affection for each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's been kind of a bad day and I know some of you are having bad days as well, so I hope you're all doing okay and staying safe and remember that you can find me on tumblr @thetruthaboutlovecomesat3am if you need to talk... hang in there my friends <3
> 
> Pandemic aside, of course I'd like to hear your thoughts about this chapter <3


	50. Another Heywood Dinner

On Saturday evening, Ava made her way to the Lance's house even though their weekly dinner was at the Heywood's. She was still feeling rather unsure about wether they should go forth with the fencing lessons, as she was still worried Sara could be afraid of her again, albeit she had admitted to never actually being afraid of her in the first place.

It wasn't rational, perhaps. It was the thought of holding a sword against Sara, knowing all the harm she had caused with her own. Granted, it was a different time and an entirely different place. It was war, everyone who had participated in it had done some terrible deed or another. But Ava's sword had shed so much blood she sometimes could still see red on its blade, despite knowing there couldn't be any.

Everyone had praised her for the mission that got her promoted to Captain, she was the lone survivor of a vicious attack to the camp she was stationed at. But to be the lone survivor, you have to end all the enemies still standing when your last compatriot falls. Nobody had ever asked her how high that number was. She couldn't have been sure herself, in the mess of things adrenaline had taken over, and she fought on instincts alone.

She was glad to have made Captain, after that. She could plan ahead, be always sure her men were safe, protect her troops from an ambush. She could be careful, parsimonious with the losses she had to suffer in her ranks. It had been a while until she was able to hold her sword steadily again, without her hand trembling. She had been too young, far too young, to understand what was waiting for her when she enlisted, and still too young at twenty when she had to survive the ambush no one else did.

So did it really matter if Sara wasn't afraid of her? She should have been. Ava didn't like unsheathing her sword, much less using it, although she did like to fence with the dull swords she had for practice. But was it wise for her to show Sara what she could actually do with that kind of weapon? To teach it to her willingly? She had no answers, and far too many questions, but her mind finally quieted when she reached the pathway to the Lance's home only to see Sara and Laurel already waiting for her.

Laurel was good company, and kept a polite conversation going, even though she could sense Ava and Sara still needed to finish the previous day's abandoned talk about why Ava was suddenly unsure about the fencing lessons. Ava tried to focus on the topic at hand and her answers were always polite and gentle.

Once they arrived at the Heywood's, Nate greeted them at the door and led them in, Amaya and Charlie were already there. They greeted each other and then Amaya turned to Ava with the biggest smile on her lips.

“So, I've heard the good news.”

Ava felt like frowning, but tried to stop herself before she could, briefly glancing at Sara and seeing confusion on her features as well.

“What- uhm, how d-” she cleared her voice. “Wh-”

“That you've accepted to be my best woman!” Nate came to her rescue, circling her shoulders with his arm in an affectionate gesture.

Ava almost sighed in relief. “Ah, yes! That good news, yes. I assume your other witness will be Zari?” She asked Amaya in an attempt to distract everyone from her stuttering.

“Actually, since it can't be a relative,” she glanced to Charlie, “it was either going to be Zari or Sara, I've had them literally draw the shorter stick to decide, and Sara is going to do it.”

Ava smiled at that, turning to look at Sara.

Laurel cleared her voice to draw everyone's attention to herself. “Did you already set a date?”

“Not yet, but we're thinking March.”

“So soon?” Sara raised an eyebrow.

“Why wait? We've been courting for years, if we aren't sure now we're never going to be,” Amaya chuckled, taking Nate's hand. “It's a bit short, but three months is still proper, it's going to be a small ceremony with just our friends and families.”

“People are going to talk,” Charlie said, in a tone that suggested she had made the observation before and it had gone unnoticed.

“People always talk,” Amaya shrugged. “Speaking of...” she glanced at Ava's bottom lip, taking her chin into one hand to make her turn her head and examine it properly. “You seem to have healed fine.”

“I did, indeed.”

“You've been quite the centre of the city talk this week,” Charlie said, examining the fading wound as well. “I've heard someone saying you handed Oliver's arse to him because he was speaking hill of a friend of yours.”

“I've heard you were protecting a woman's honour and almost ruined his face,” Amaya countered. “And then a day later when you two were on the city square acting like partners in crime I've heard there has never actually been a fight, but it was all a ruse to agitate the waters before you announced your campaign.”

“You were right there when we fought,” Ava frowned.

“I'm telling you what I've heard, not what I've been saying to whomever asked. Which is, there was a disagreement, you handled it poorly but got over it, and now you're friends again.”

“Well, that is what happened,” Ava lied easily, knowing they would hardly believe her, especially since she had instructed the both of them to put water in the wine they were serving them so they wouldn't actually get inebriated.

“Well then,” Charlie smiled mischievously, “what was the _disagreement_ about? Was it the Palmer's friend-”

“Felicity,” Amaya supplied.

“-or was it about Laurel?” Charlie asked, undeterred.

“Neither,” Ava said, then averted her eyes. “It was...” she took a deep breath, then sighed.

“It was about me being impolite and about the General teaching me some manners,” Oliver's voice made them turn and they saw he had been shown in while they were talking. He shook hands with Nate, then with Ava, as he smiled to the others. “How have you been? How's your...” he gestured to his own lip.

“All healed. And how's your...” she gestured to her jaw.

“Quite fine.”

“How are things with your father?”

“Still adjusting, but we're getting closer to the point where he understands he has no power or money anymore,” Oliver smiled. “How about the campaign, is there something I can do to help?”

“Oh, actually, yes. Nate, do you-”

“It's in my study,” he nodded. “Will you excuse the three of us for just a moment?” Nate smiled to the rest of them and then gestured for Ava and Oliver to follow him.

“Give me just a minute,” Ava whispered to Sara, then smiled softly as she followed Nate.

Zari, Amaya and Charlie exchanged a mischievous look, but said nothing and acted like nothing happened when Sara turned to them again.

By the time the three of them came back to the large ball room, everyone else had arrived. Amaya scolded Nate for the tardiness and he promised they wouldn't be doing anymore working for the rest of the evening. Ava returned to her place by Sara's side and Oliver busied himself making conversation with Thea and Tommy.

As everyone mingled, they finally had a moment when they were relatively alone.

“I thought your friendship with Oliver wasn't real.”

“Our recklessness wasn't,” Ava told her, “but we've grown quite close. Do you not approve of it?”

“You do not need my approval, _General_,” Sara reminded her.

“I might not need it, but I certainly seek it.”

Sara glanced sideways at her, seeing Ava already watching her closely. “I think it's dangerous, the directions in which you could steer each other.”

“We're not each other's guide, Sara. I want him to work on my campaign, he's resourceful, clever and looking for a second chance. He's been a good friend and an even better ally. I promise to distance myself from him the second either you or I begin to think we're becoming a bad influence on each other, okay?”

Sara mulled it over for a moment. “It sounds quite reasonable.”

Ava smiled at that, and opened her mouth to add something when Nate announced the dinner was about to be served. Whatever she had wanted to say could certainly wait.

  
  


Dinner went by quickly as usual, as they laughed and joked around, but Sara noticed Ava was quieter than usual, more reserved than she had been in a while around their friends. She had had a hard week, Sara was aware, but she didn't know how to help, how to get her out of her mind.

She also noticed how Ava had kept her distance the whole evening, never offering her arm or stepping closer to Sara, never touching her, not even in passing or by accident while handing her some cutlery or something similar. It was quite odd, since, usually, Ava would try to keep a contact with her, physical as well as visual, as often as she could.

They finished their meal and, eventually, moved to the ball room Nate had made sure was ready to host them again. And Sara walked slowly, until Ava and herself were left as the last two people in their short row. Only then she grazed Ava's hand with her own, hoping Ava wouldn't reject her.

The General looked around briefly, then took Sara's hand in her own.

“I must apologize, my behaviour must seem silly to you.”

“You shouldn't be afraid, I know you'd never hurt me, never. I trust you completely and I truly do look forward to our lessons, if you'd still like to have them.”

Ava stalled, then nodded. “If you're sure.”

“I've never been as sure of something in my life as I am of you only wanting to protect me. I trust you with my heart, why shouldn't I with my life?”

Ava frowned slightly. “I've often hurt your feelings to protect your life, have I not? I value it more than anything else in the world.”

“All the more reasons why I should definitely trust you with the latter, since you value it even more than the former, and you've always done your best with the heart I've entrusted you with.”

“You remember the last time we were here? We hugged in the front yard and the day after Laurel was led to believe you...” she sighed, shaking her head. “What if I'm the thing I should be protecting you from?”

“Never think that. I'd rather be somewhat hurt than part from you,” Sara whispered, stepping to her, taking her hand more firmly. “Do not think about tomorrow, just for tonight. Lead me ahead and ask me to dance, and if they all see how madly in love with you I am, then so be it. My love for you knows no fears.”

Ava smiled at her in the way that made Sara's heart melt a little every single time, and leaned closer to whisper to her:

“My love for you knows no boundaries, it glides through every pathway my heart has and slides into everything I do or touch. That is why I've kept a distance, because I feel like even the smallest gesture could easily give away my endless fondness of you.”

After that, she took Sara's hand, leading her into the room and the dance floor, guiding her along with smooth movements, dancing with her slowly and tenderly, until their feet hurt and their smile couldn't possibly get any bigger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I couldn't update twice this week, life's getting busier again. Hope you enjoyed this!


	51. A very important lesson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Please read this before the chapter:** this was written long before the situation was so dramatic all over the world. The ending of this chapter is a pretty big cliffhanger, if you don't want to have to wait given the current world wide situation, please wait until Sunday, when I'll update next chapter, and read them together. I know this is just a fanfic, but if you think you could be upset please wait until next chapter is up. If you do read this: remember this is soap-like and that everything will work out fine in the end.

On Sunday, Laurel and Sara visited Ava again, the older Lance eating snickerdoodles while watching her younger sister be taught how to properly stand when fencing, how to parr more efficiently and how to get a better and tighter grip on her sword.

Quentin, Ava had learned, hadn't spent too much time with the technicalities of it, but had simply taught them how to quickly get out of imminent danger well enough to break into a run and lose their attacker, nothing else.

Their afternoon together, wasn't about that: Ava was teaching her properly, elegantly, as if she was teaching her from scratch how to move as if she was one with her weapon. It was mesmerizing even to watch, and quite entertaining too, Laurel noticed.

Time went by quickly and before they realized it the sun was starting to set. Ava offered to walk them home, wearing her coat and her thick gloves, the weather becoming more and more merciless as the days went by. They walked slowly, chatting about their plans for Christmas day, and Laurel mentioned how she already had her gift for Sara's birthday ready, as well as her Christmas shopping finished.

Ava smiled secretly, having been shopping the previous Thursday to get each of the Lance's a Christmas gift to thank them for their hospitality and to get Sara something special as well. She had also got something for Zari, Behrad, Amaya, Charlie and of course Nate. She was looking forward to the holidays, to spending time with the people she loved. She hadn't had a merry Christmas in quite a few years, the previous year was spent alone in her home, as she had been back shortly from the war, trying to learn why her grandfather loved to numb his problems with whiskey, trying to learn how to do the same, failing miserably.

This year, everything was different: she was going to spend it with a family she yearned to be a part of, she was going to visit her uncle and aunt, Mrs and Mr Tomaz, she was going to bring heartfelt gifts to all the friends she had reconnected with.

She was going to be happy on Christmas day.

“I quite like to see that smile on your face,” Sara whispered. “What has you so jolly?”

“I was thinking about spending Christmas with you, with your family. I was thinking about where I was a year ago and where I am now, about all the people I love that are back to being an important part of my life.”

Sara took her hand for a moment, caressing the back of it, as a matching smile graced her lips as well, then let go of it again.

“And next year,” Sara whispered almost in a daze, “we'll have Christmas in our home and invite our families, and make Nate bring his eggnog.”

“My uncle would get drunk by noon,” Ava chuckled. “My aunt would love that, she always says how she wants a big Christmas lunch, but we couldn't do it this year because Nate is invited at the Jiwe's.”

“We can have it in our home, next Christmas,” Sara's eyes shown and Ava finally got the meaning of her words.

“Our home, uh?”

“Yes. Our home.”

Ava smiled, knowing, at the latest, the elections would be in May. She would propose to Sara the very next day if she could, and they could be married by Christmas if they had a short engagement and organized a simple wedding quickly. It wasn't granted, of course, but there was a very good chance they'd be able to do it.

“That would be lovely, yes. We should absolutely do that.”

Sara smiled again, catching up with her sister a moment later, asking her to slow down just a little even though it was cold, just so she could spend a few more minutes in the General's company. Laurel rolled her eyes, but smiled and nodded.

The three of them kept walking and chatting, enjoying each other's company, making fun of Sara's fencing skills, gushing about how Ava, who could face Quentin with no qualms, became quite shy in Dinah's company, and so on.

Before they could even realize it, they were at the Lance's front steps.

“Goodnight, General,” Laurel gently touched Ava's arms as she stepped away from her.

“Goodnight, Miss Lance. It was a pleasure to spend the afternoon in your company.”

“For me as well,” Laurel assured, then stepped inside the house to grant her sister and Ava a few moments alone, even if so close to the front door.

The younger Lance stepped closer, taking Ava's hand gently.

“When will our next lesson be?” Sara asked earnestly.

“Soon. But not during the week, I'm afraid. We're wrapping up the works at the school and the last few days I stay later than everyone else to check everything's done properly and secure. We should be wrapping up on Wednesday or Thursday at the latest, we could have another lesson the very next day.”

“That's perfect,” Sara chimed enthusiastically. “Thank you.”

“It's my pleasure,” Ava smiled. “Should I stop by tomorrow, let you know when we'll probably be done?”

“I would be glad to see you,” Sara whispered with a soft smile.

Ava smiled back at her, raising their joined hands and kissing the back of Sara's gently, sweetly, lingering for just a second.

“Until tomorrow, my love.”

“I wish we didn't have to part at all, I wish you were always this close to me. But I'll count the hours, the minutes, and bide my time. Until tomorrow,” Sara echoed.

Ava squeezed her hand one last time, then letting it slip away from her own, watching as Sara slowly turned and walked up the front steps, turning again once she was just inside the door to smile at Ava one last time.

  
  


Ava left her house on Monday morning in her jacket and thick gloves, not caring she couldn't handle tools properly, she would take them off once she had to start working, but the cold was truly unforgiving.

The temperatures had dropped even more than the day before, and she had been tempted to wear a longer coat on top of her uniform, but then discarded the idea.

She got to the school site, gave the first daily instructions and distributed the tasks according to the load they had for the day, then started her review of the areas they had already completed on the previous weeks.

Nate came to talk to her during her lunch break and they discussed the same thing they had on Saturday night with Oliver: Nora would come visit her in two weeks time, and they would have to speak with her and Ray about the upcoming race and Ava's campaign.

Nora had replied to her own letter a few days before, offering to visit her in Starling soon after Christmas since she and Ray wanted to start looking at some properties and, after they did, if Ava was still feeling a bit lost she could go back with them upstate and take a break from her daily routine.

Nora really did know her well, she didn't offer Ava an immediate outing because of how strange it sounded, how unlike her. She had immediately guessed something was up and had instead offered a visit of her own. It wasn't a bad deal, since Sara and herself weren't going to elope, this way she could see the Palmer's again without having to leave at an inconvenient time work wise, and they could have a meeting about her campaign with all her team present: Nate, Oliver, Nora, Ray, Quentin and Rip.

Once they had agreed on an appropriate time and day, Nate left her to get back to her work.

She went back to everything she had to do before the day ended and only managed to wrap up everything when it was already dark outside. She headed to the tavern before heading home, having had to check the school yard outside and being very much close to start shivering. She intended to greet Amaya and Charlie and warm up a little before the journey home, but when she got into the tavern she was greeted by the sight of Robert Queen loudly drinking and playing cards with some of the usual costumer. She frowned, heading for the counter.

“What has gotten into him?”

“I'll be damned if I know,” Charlie said grimly. “He's been here since the late afternoon, drinking and catching everyone's attention. It's like he wants everyone to know he's graced us with his presence,” she scolded, shaking her head.

Ava hummed. “Do you want me to have a word?”

“No, no. He's well on his way to drinking more money than we see in a week, let him drink,” Charlie finally gave her trademark smirk to Ava. “Thank you,” she said more gently, patting Ava's hand before heading off.

Ava smiled back, then caught Amaya's attention.

“Heading home late?”

“I guess so. I have to stop by the Lance's house quickly to deliver a message, then I'll finally be done with the day.”

“Ah, a message,” Amaya smiled knowingly. “Not to the Captain, is it? I've seen you dance with Sara, at the dinner. We all did,” she whispered secretively, making Ava roll her eyes. “When you said you were always merely acquaintances, you didn't mean that, did you? And it seems to me, if you did grow apart, you're drifting closer again.”

Ava looked away, then back at Amaya. “It is a very long story, but I would like to tell it to you someday soon. Zari, as well. You, your sister and her could perhaps join me for tea one day next week and we could talk about everything that has been going on?” She asked hopefully.

“Yes. Finally,” Amaya sighed. “We want to be there for you, but it's quite hard if we do not know what is happening. Thank you for deciding to open up to us.”

“Thank you for being so patient with me.”

They said their goodbyes and Ava headed to the door with one last look in Robert's direction. He was laughing loudly and playing cards, but paused his actions the moment he caught Ava's eyes, a smile on his face that Ava would have only been able to describe as deeply twisted.

She shrugged it off, trying not to give too much thought to a desperate man with no cards left to play but the ones he was holding at the tavern table.

Without dwelling on him another instant, she opened the tavern door and headed East, towards the one person she had waited all day to see.

  
  


The streets were adorned with Christmas decorations, and even though there were no carol singers going house to house yet, she could hear the faint sound of some group or the other practicing their vocal skills as she walked on the dark path ahead, the air festive around her city.

It plastered a silly smile on her face, the songs she heard coming from the house on her left, her favourite Christmas song since she was little, and the prospect she would see Sara in just a few minutes.

It was just as she exited the city and turned on the East road, that a young man came out a small hallway on her right. She paused, recognizing him immediately. He looked nervous and worried and as if he wanted to be anywhere else but there in that moment.

“What are you doing here? It's cold, late, and you're far from home,” Ava admonished.

He walked to her, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

“I'm so sorry, General. I am. But I have no other choice.”

Ava frowned, looking down just in time to see him extract the knife he had hidden under his coat.

“You don't want to do this,” she said, voice sure. Ava assessed his demeanour and it was clear there was no will behind his behaviour. Merely fear.

“You don't understand. They'll kill me if I don't,” his voice trembled, his eyes were desperate.

She considered extracting her sword but there were two problems with that: first of all, her gloves would have made her grip weaker, she would have risked making things worse just by unsheathing her weapon, and had she foreseen trouble she would've taken her glove off before, but she would have never expected him to mean her harm; secondly, she would have never had the nerve to strike him, not even if he did so first.

“I can help you, we could-”

The blow itself, was weak. As Ava had predicted, he had no will to go through with it. She did the only thing she could think of: grabbed the blade steadily, hoping it wouldn't cut through her left glove, putting some resistance on the other side of the handle.

All the air left her lungs at the piercing pain starting from the ice cold blade and radiating all through her abdomen.

As soon as the motion was stopped, the man recoiled, realizing what he had done, tugging away the knife sharply as if he could take back the gush already bleeding on Ava's abdomen, but it only made the cut worse. She used the same hand that had gripped the blade to lessen the depth of the blow to press against the cut, trying to stop the blood.

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.”

He stepped backwards, then turned, running away into the city as fast as he could.

Ava leaned on the nearest wall, closing her eyes, listening to the carol singers harmonize the last few verses of her favourite Christmas carol as she felt her own blood seethe through her shirt, stain her jacket, maybe even her glove.

If Christmas truly did come with miracles, she knew something akin to one had just occurred a moment before; the cut wasn't as deep as it could've been and she was still standing, albeit with some help from the nearest wall.

But, she realized painfully, she wouldn't be able to keep her promise. She wouldn't be able to make it all the way through the East road to see Sara, that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys read the notes at the beginning. If you have decided to read this anyway, first of all thank you for trusting me, secondly please know everything will be okay. This story is coming to an end in a few chapters and everything will work out fine by then, you just need to trust me a little longer <3
> 
> Stay safe, pals <3


	52. The stitches

Dr Snow was just about ready to serve dinner to the two friends she had invited over for the evening, when a knock at the door made them pause just as they were about to sit down. She apologized, heading to her front door to see who was coming to her house at such a late time in the evening.

Barry, a little concerned about the hour as well, immediately said Iris and himself would accompany her to see who was at the door, or at least wait in the hallway, in case it was someone hill intentioned.

Caitlyn opened the door tentatively, slowly, hesitating when she saw someone was leaning heavily on her threshold, but immediately opening it wider once she had recognized the person.

“General Sharpe!”

Ava, having dragged herself there by sheer stubbornness, nodded and smiled politely for a second, but it quickly slipped away. She had put every once of energy she had in pretending she was merely taking a stroll whenever she had encountered someone, concealing the still bleeding wound she was sporting on her left side.

“Dr Snow, I'm terribly sorry to aggravate you at this time, but I've been somewhat... stabbed.”

“You were stabbed?!”

“Merely a minor wound, but in dire need of stitching and I'm afraid the only other doctor I know in this town has long since retired.”

Ava stepped away from the threshold and the enlarging red spot on her jacket came into view as soon as she moved her gloved hand away.

Caitlyn frantically gestured for Barry to help her bring Ava in, the two of them holding her up and steady as she stepped into the house, Iris closing the door behind them quickly, then following them into the study.

“On the cot,” the doctor instructed, nodding to the makeshift bed standing on the further side of the room, away from the wall at least three feet, so she could work on either side if needed. “Iris, take her jacket, the sword and the gloves. General, I'm afraid we might need to undo your shirt, I know the room isn't the warmest in the house but all my equipment is here,” she explained.

“It is quite alright, if I'm a bit cold as you save my life. I've patched myself up in a ditch once, this is quite a few notches up in comfort,” Ava tried to make light of the situation.

Barry helped her sit, then went to step away, but Ava grabbed his sleeve.

“I'm afraid I need a favour from you as well, Mr Allen.”

“Anything,” he pledge immediately.

“You're quite the runner, yes?” Ava asked rhetorically, but he vehemently nodded nonetheless. “I need you to run, as fast as you can, to the Heywood's land. Fetch Nate Heywood, tell him, _only_ him, that I'm injured, but you do not know what happened to me.”

“I _don't_ know what happened to you,” Barry pointed out.

“Exactly like that. Then, on your way back, stop by the Lance's home. Tell Quentin as well, tell him before you leave the house. You understand what I mean?” Ava glanced quickly between Iris and Barry and the ring she purchased immediately came to his mind.

“I do. Tell him before we leave, then I suppose we shall make our way back here quickly but without drawing attention.”

“Exactly. Be very, very careful. Who did this is still out there. Run like the wind, and do not give away any kind of explanation to anyone who might try to stop you.”

“I'll be back before you know it,” he promised.

Iris hurried him away from Ava, hushing him to the door with a decisive: “Run, Barry, run!”

Ava tried to slow down her breathing, taking off her gloves and her sword, giving them to Iris. Dr Snow helped her with her jacket, then she laid down, the two women helping her. Caitlyn tugged the shirt up to take a look at the wound.

“Your assessment was indeed right, this will need stitches. Iris, press this gauzes to it while I gather everything I need, press as hard as you can.”

The woman nodded, doing as instructed.

“Eyes open, General,” Caitlyn ordered. “It's not proper to fall asleep in the company of two lovely women such as ourselves, is it?”

That made Ava chuckle softly, as she nodded. “Let it never be said I'm anything but proper, Doctor,” she smiled at her, then put her hand on top of the one on her abdomen. “You won't hurt me, Mrs West-Allen, put your weight into it. I need to stop bleeding, I've lost more than I thought already and things might look grim if Dr Snow cannot patch me up.”

“Caitlyn will fix you up without a problem, I'm sure,” Iris stated. Then, softer: “Keep your eyes open, she'll be here soon.”

Ava thought it amusing for a second: Caitlyn was merely a few feet from them, disinfecting the instruments she needed, she never even left the room. But, after a moment, she understood what Iris might have meant with her words: she might not have been talking about Dr Snow at all. She might have been talking about the girl she bought a ring for. And, as she struggled to keep her eyes open, Ava couldn't help but hope with all her might Iris could be right.

  
  


They had just started on dinner when someone knocked on their front door quite strongly. Quentin felt irritated that anyone would think it appropriate to visit at this time in the evening, but then again, maybe it was an unplanned news that was being delivered.

He got up and headed to the door, knowing full well the three women in the next room would have their ears turned to the hallway.

“Mr Allen,” he greeted with surprise. He was quite a long way from home, and breathing hard, sweating even in the cold.

“Captain Lance, I'm sorry to bother you, the General sends me,” his voice came out in ragged breaths and between long pauses, as he tried to catch his breath.

“The General?”

“There has been...” he finally seemed to find his composure. “Sir, there has been an attempt on the General's life, she's seriously injured. For some reason, she didn't want word to get out, she dragged herself to Dr Snow's house instead of sending for help.”

“An attempt on her life?” Quentin felt something turn inside his stomach, worry gnawing at him immediately. “Is she-”

“Caitlyn will do everything she can, sir. She wanted me to tell you what happened before we left your house. I believe she wanted you to come along,” his eyes darted to somewhere behind him, and he nodded, “both of you, perhaps?”

When he turned he saw Sara was standing in the doorway between their living room and the entrance, eyes big and filled with fear, seemingly paralysed. Dinah and Laurel hurried to get to her, but instead of stopping her like she was afraid they might, they helped her and Quentin to get in their coats and gloves faster, hurrying them out the door with the plea to let them know soon what was happening.

They walked the East road quickly, stopping at nothing, almost jogging, but once they reached the town and the first few people came into view, the three of them had to slow, to seem like they were merely taking a stroll, until Dr Snow's house came into view again. Sara felt her heart pound inside her chest restlessly, hopelessly, yearning to see for herself Ava was still alive.

  
  


Iris had offered her hand for Ava to squeeze every time the needle made its way back into her flesh, but Ava had turned the offer down. She gritted her teeth and clenched her jaw, pushing through the pain like she had been taught to do.

She had gripped the edge of the cot so tightly her knuckles had turned white and she was looking pale and feeling cold.

Then, suddenly, Dr Snow was telling her gently she was all done and she did great, to which Ava could only nod. Some time went by as the doctor checked her vitals and made sure she didn't have a fever, but Ava didn't know how long it had been, she just knew she was starting to feel less dizzy.

“Iris will get you some water to drink and I'll go look for some clean rags so we can clean the dried blood, alright?”

“That sounds perfect, I'm quite thirsty,” she nodded again.

“You'll need to sit up for that, we'll help you of course, because you won't be able to use your abdominal muscles without risking to reopen the wound for a few days,” Caitlyn instructed, then she and Iris gently got her into a sitting position, until her legs were hanging on the side of the cot.

“Thank you, Doctor. You saved my life. You as well, Mrs West-Allen. I owe the both of you a debt I can never quite settle.”

“Nonsense, General. I'm glad you came to me and I'm glad Iris and Berry were here tonight, or things would have been more complicated.”

“You would have managed,” Iris interjected, “but I am glad we could help. I'll get you that water,” she offered then, and Caitlyn followed her out.

Ava had a moment alone to assess how she was feeling. It wasn't great that she had to walk so far while bleeding, she usually got injured closer to a medic, but it was far from the worst wound she had ever suffered. She would be back to full strength in two weeks if she was lucky. And she was already feeling a bit better now that the pain was becoming a dull ache.

Iris came back quickly and handed her a glass immediately. She drank all of it almost in a gulp, and the woman could do nothing but smile, using the pitcher she had brought with her to refill it immediately so that Ava could keep hydrating. She sipped the second one slowly, and Caitlyn eventually came back as well, a basin in her hands with a rag inside it soaking in water.

Once she was almost done with the second glass of water, they heard knocking on the front door.

“Could you give the gentlemen an update?” Caitlyn asked Iris. “I'll disinfect your wound and help you dress back up before we let them in,” she said to Ava, almost in a question.

“Thank you, that'd be perfect.”

Iris went to open the door, closing it back behind herself. In the meantime, Caitlyn took the glass from Ava's hand, putting it beside the pitcher on a nearby desk, then turning back when she heard the door open again. She expected Iris, but instead Sara Lance was standing on her study's doorway, looking both afraid and relieved.

After just a moment of hesitation, Sara crossed the room, hugging Ava as soon as she was close enough to do so, circling her shoulders carefully.

Ava used one arm to return the hug, whispering most softly to her: “I'm alright, I promise.”

Sara did not seem convinced. She stepped back after a moment, her eyes traveling down the path of skin she could see through Ava's open shirt and reaching eventually the red, fresh, still blood covered wound on her left side.

“Mr Allen said you were stabbed,” Sara said, trying to make sense of what was happening. “What happened? Why didn't you just scream for help?”

Ava hesitated, then shook her head. “I'm rather tired and lacking the energy to explain everything now. It's quite a long story, and I've bothered Dr Snow more than appropriate already. I'll get dressed, and-”

“Don't be ridiculous,” the doctor interrupted. “We're not done, and you're no bother. Miss Lance, could you perhaps be persuaded to help me?” Caitlyn walked to her side, then pointed to the basin and the rag in it. “Could you clean the dried blood on the General's abdomen? I have to get some gauze and disinfectant so we can bandage it properly.”

“I'd be glad to have something to do, thank you,” Sara nodded, smiling gratefully.

Caitlyn smiled back, a knowing glint in her eyes when she patted Sara's arm, exiting the room and closing the door behind herself.

“You don't have to- I can do it myself if you pass me-”

Sara completely ignored the protests, squeezing the rag a bit and then wiping away the red stains on Ava's flesh. She started from the smaller ones, the drops that had traveled to her navel, the one that had reached a little higher than that. Then, she cleaned lower, eyes occasionally raising to meet Ava's, who was staring at her intently. Her hand moved in circles, ever so often she cleaned the rag by immersing it in the lukewarm water and then squeezing it again. Her touch was gentle, soft, but decisive enough to wipe away the stains quickly.

Ava had had worse wounds, the scars she had were a testament to that, and the doctor she mostly got treated by at the front was a man so old he could have been her father. She had never felt shy with him, knowing he was doing his job as respectfully and efficiently as he could, as any doctor she had known.

But this was different. Sara wasn't a doctor, and her touch was gentler, her eyes searched her body in a way Ava wouldn't have liked anyone else's to. Her shirt, albeit pushed up and half opened on the bottom, still covered her chest properly, but Ava was feeling quite exposed, with all her scars on display, and Sara's gentle touch tracing her skin with a care and so much love she was quickly starting to feel unworthy of. Sara's fingers were too soft, tracing paths dug by such merciless weapos.

“Sara?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you. For coming to make sure I was okay.”

“Of course I came. I'm your-” she frowned. She didn't know how that sentence ended, because she wasn't Ava's wife, nor was she her fiancée, and they surely weren't merely friends. But what was she to Ava? “I'm yours,” she simply stated, leaning closer to her to kiss her lips gently for a long moment.

Ava basked in the soft touch, feeling warmer and less in pain.

Sara stepped away when she heard footsteps approaching, putting the rag back in the basin and replenishing Ava's glass with water, handing it to her again.

Caitlyn and Sara worked quickly and efficiently, bandaging Ava up with a gauze pressed to the would firmly and bandages that went all around her abdomen to keep it steady. Once they were done, Ava buttoned up her shirt again, and Sara helped with her jacket while Caitlyn went to tell the others they could finally get into the room.

Sara fixed her jacket properly, then looked into Ava's eyes and all the love, all the affection she saw there, made the last of her worry instantly dissipate. Ava had never looked more alive than she did right then, with Sara's hand on her chest, right above her heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought <3


	53. The couch

Caitlyn entered her study followed by Iris, Barry and Quentin. When he saw Ava, sitting up, but looking pale and tired, he crossed the room quickly so he could hug her in a way he had never quite done before, squeezing his eyes to will away the tears filling them.

“Thank God you're okay,” he whispered.

Ava clung to him in a way she wouldn't have with anybody else. Quentin had always been an esteemed colleague, but in the past year he had become to her more of a fatherly figure than she had anticipated. Ava loved him and wanted to protect him with the same stubborn naiveness children want to protect their parents.

If she had a doubt he might think of her as an acquired daughter of sorts, it dissipated when he hugged her so fiercely. She clung to him like she knew he would support her weight when she couldn't, he would help her whenever he could to get through the hardest part of a difficult thing, as fathers often do.

When he leaned back to look in her eyes, he moved some hair from her face and then looked her up and down, seeing the red stain on her jacket.

“What happened?”

“It's quite the long story, and it's late. I'm sorry to have sent for you, but I-”

“You don't need to explain,” Quentin whispered to her. He found it rather common for injured people to want to be around their family. “I would have sent for you as well.”

Ava nodded, grateful he understood.

“Nate will help me-” she frowned, stopping abruptly. “Mr Allen, where's my cousin?”

“Oh, I did as you said. Ran straight to him, told him what was happening. He said to go to the Lance's, got on his horse and rode away like the devil himself was chasing him,” Barry recalled, mimicking the scene with his hand.

“Was he headed here?”

“No, he said he'd first go to Colonel Diggle, to bring him here as well.”

Ava felt a pang of defeat. “I should've considered the possibility. Hurry,” with a great effort she got up, Sara and Quentin both rushing to steady her, “we need to be gone by the time they get h-”

Two loud knocks at the door cut off the rest of her sentence.

“It should be them,” Quentin assessed.

“Why don't you want your own police force-” Sara whispered as Caitlyn headed to the front door and the rest of them got ready to exit the study.

“Later,” Ava whispered to her, as Sara circled her arm, this time, unlike every other time before, not to stroll along with her, but to support her weight in a way it wouldn't be noticeable easily. “Thank you,” Ava sighed, leaning a little more on her.

“General,” Diggle greeted her when she and Sara stepped out of the study and into the hallway.

“Ava, are you alright? Barry said-” Nate looked worried as well as confused.

“I'm quite alright, merely a minor wound. I think Mr Allen might've been spooked by the sight of blood,” Ava did her best to smile and appear fine. Standing close to Sara, their arms linked, she was able to stand upright and it almost looked like nothing had happened to her, were it not for the visible stain on her jacket.

“So I was,” Barry nodded. “Never seen much of it.”

“As it happens, the small cut wouldn't stop bleeding, so I sought Dr Snow's help to stitch it up and sent for my cousin to have someone to escort me home, I didn't want to have the doctor work so hard only to have the patch tear apart on my way home,” Ava tried to explain.

“You do seem quite alright,” Nate sighed in relief. “I might have overreacted myself,” he admitted.

“No, you didn't,” John turned to Ava again. “You're our General, an attempt on your life would mean someone would get hanged.”

The word lingered in the silence that followed it and Sara understood immediately why Ava hadn't want the police's help with this.

“Enough blood has been shed in my name, Colonel,” Ava dismissed it. “And this wasn't an attempt on my life. As I said, just a minor wound.”

“Inflicted by whom, and why?”

Ava didn't answer him immediately and the Colonel got quickly impatient.

“General Sharpe, I only need a name.”

Ava scoffed. “Oh, if you merely need a name then I do have one for you,” she paused, and Sara thought the suspense might nearly kill her. “Robert Queen.”

For a moment, the room was silent. Then, John laughed.

“You mean to tell me Robert Queen was the one who stabbed you?”

“It might not have been his hand but I have no doubt it was his order,” Ava didn't think it funny.

“It's a heavy accusation, General,” John reminded her, “plotting to murder a General, successful or not, will get him jailed for life.”

“I can only hope as much, and I plan to prove this was his doing.”

“Do not count on my help.”

“I wasn't.”

John scoffed, shaking his head, he bid everyone goodnight and then left the house.

“You truly believe it was him?” Sara asked in a whisper. “I thought he had finally relented in this mad war against you.”

“I thought the same, but alas, the one who did this must've been sent surely by him. But, unlike I've led the Colonel to believe, I'm afraid we have no way in the world to actually prove it,” she sighed.

And just like that, things were getting complicated once again.

  
  


After they all thanked profusely Dr Snow and the West-Allen's again, the four of them made their way out of the house and to where Nate had left his horse.

Ava only let go of Sara when her hand had to grasp the saddle, Nate ready to boost her good side up as she managed to mount the horse with a painful groan and a hiss. Sara immediately stepped forward, ready to join Ava on the saddle, but Quentin gently stopped her by grabbing her elbow.

“I'll need help dismounting, Sara,” Ava told her softly. “And my house has quite a few front steps, I cannot manage them alone.”

Sara had known she wasn't leaning on her heavily, but now she suspected she barely had at all. She looked conflicted for a moment, so Ava added:

“I'll send Nate back as soon as I'm inside the house. He'll come back by horse and take you to me, would that be alright?”

Sara hesitated, glancing to Nate. He nodded reassuringly. She sighed, stepping back from the horse and into her father's arms.

“We'll walk across town and meet you along the East road,” Quentin told him as he watched him get on the saddle in front of Ava.

She scooted closer, clinging to him firmly.

He nodded to Quentin, then set off. After just a few steps, he felt Ava shift behind him.

“Nate, I stood for too long, and it's quite cold. I think I might pass out soon.”

“I figured,” he put his arm on hers, making her hold on him firmer, then quickened the horse pace considerably. “Try to stay awake, if you can't, I'll carry you to the couch. I've got you.”

Ava leaned her head on his shoulder-blade, closing her eyes for just a moment, the cold air somewhat making her feel a little more sleepy.

“You're a good brother, Nate,” she murmured.

Despite the grim, dire situation they were in, Nate couldn't help but smile softly at Ava's words.

  
  


He came to a halt as close to the steps as he could, Ava leaning back immediately.

“You made it, we're here,” he whispered encouragingly and jumped off the horse before helping her down.

She grunted and grimaced, then leaned on him as they walked up the steps and into her house. Once they got to the couch, she sat down heavily and he had to help rotate her until she was lying down.

“You need some rest,” he said, kneeling beside her, taking her hand.

“I've had worse, I'll be fine,” she gave him a faint smile.

“It's not the wound – which I can tell _isn't_ minor – but the blood loss, the cold. The fact you walked across town with it instead of calling for help. Everyone knows you, everyone would have helped if you-”

“Not everyone, Nate. Someone did _this_,” she gestured to her torn jacket. “I just got lucky they sent a good man to do a cruel thing and he couldn't bring himself to go through with it.”

“Who was he? I'll hunt him down and-”

“No, you won't. Go to Sara, please. Once you're back, once Quentin's here, we'll talk about this.”

He hesitated, but nodded. He kissed her hand, bringing it to his chest.

“I got so afraid. I rushed to get the Colonel because the thought of being there, powerless, if you were still being patched up... Ava, you're truly my sister, although not by blood. I can't lose you.”

“You won't. I'm stronger than him, whatever he'll try next, I'll beat him again, and again if I must. Especially with you as my right arm,” she smiled.

He smiled back softly, nodding. “Always. I'll go to Sara before she runs all the way here.”

That made her chuckle and the effort broke her breath for a moment. “Thank you, for everything you've done.”

  
  


Sara opened the door tentatively, trying not to make too much noise in case Ava was sleeping off the pain. She found the living room lit in the dim candlelight coming from the desk, while Ava was lying on the couch with an arm thrown over her face.

She walked to the couch slowly, trying not to wake her, but Ava immediately moved her arm when she felt someone enter the room, crocking her neck to see who was there.

“Sara,” she sighed the name in her half slumber.

She moved quicker, stopping when she reached the couch, taking in the sight of Ava. Her breath was regular if a little quicker than usual, but her skin was paler than Sara had even seen it. It was almost staggering in comparison to the dark stains of blood on her jacket, some drops were on her pants and Sara remembered how torn and dirty her shirt had been.

She sat down on the small space on the edge of the couch where there was still space, moving some of Ava's hair away from her face and then bending down to kiss her forehead, lingering for a moment before leaning back.

Ava's eyes were closed and a peaceful smile graced her lips.

She felt Sara's hands move and suddenly they were at the edge of her pants. She opened her eyes immediately, glancing down.

“It'll hurt your side if you fall asleep,” Sara chastised, unfastening her sword's belt and taking it to its proper place.

She picked up Ava's gloves from the floor beside the couch and, seeing the cut on the palm of one, she was tempted to throw them out. But, for as much as she despised the sight of Ava's blood, the cut could be evidence to measure the width of the blade. She set them aside carefully, then went back to the couch and began to unfasten Ava's jacket.

“You still have your military jacket on, we need to get you out of it.”

Ava complied with the request, finally feeling warm enough to discard it. Sara unbuttoned it for her, helping her to slid out her arms without having to sit up. Once she had hanged the jacket, she went back to the couch and took Ava's boots off her feet, then stood there for a moment, staring at the awful stain on the white shirt.

“Where do you keep your clean shirts?”

“Sara, you don't have to-”

“I can't just stand here staring at your blood, Ava.”

“I don't want you to feel like you have to do this just because-”

Sara sat down again, caressing Ava's cheek gently, until the General looked into her eyes.

“I'll go stir crazy if I sit here worrying. If I have something to do, I won't think as much. You're too tired to talk and I've seen that wound, Ava. At least two inches, and only superficial because you stopped the blow with your hand, didn't you? At least your winter gloves protected your skin.”

“They didn't,” Ava corrected. “My scar – the one from moving the machinery when we started working at the school – it hurts when it's too cold. I've thickened the glove a lot more than the right one, that's why I put resistance on the knife's handle with my non-dominant hand.”

“Quick thinking. Smart. And yet, you didn't fight back. You and I both know you could outdraw anyone in this city, anyone. But you didn't even try, did you?”

Ava averted her eyes, then shook her head. “This wound hurts less than striking back would have.”

The answer made Sara's worry grow tenfold.

“Who did it, Ava? Who are you trying to protect?”

“That is the whole point, isn't it? I was supposed to _protect_ him, I vowed to, but then things got so complicated I left him to fend for himself. I failed him. He was desperate and alone, and he made a mistake. I can't let him take the fall for this, Sara. I can't- I can't let him _die_ because of this.”

When tears filled Ava's eyes, Sara took her face in her hands, kissing her cheeks softly, whispering to her that everything was going to get sorted out. Hoping, more than anything, that fate wouldn't make a liar out of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think most of you, if not all of you, have already guessed who stabbed Ava. But I'd be delighted to hear your theories! When I worded this, I had 3 major suspects in mind, bonus points if you can guess all three of them :p Just kidding, but if you wanna leave a comment and tell me what you thought I'll be forever grateful.
> 
> Stay safe <3


	54. The shirt

Sara walked up the stairwell slowly, almost dreadfully. It was a part of the General's house she had never wandered into before, and it made her nervous, for a reason that eluded her. Ava had instructed her to go to the left at the end of the stairs, there was a laundry room at the end of the corridor, and next to it Gary's and Mona's rooms. Ava's quarters were on the right.

At the top of the stairs, Sara hesitated. She glanced right and there it was, Ava's room, just one ajar door away. She shook her head to clear it and decided this wasn't the time to do some snooping around. She headed to the laundry room quickly, fetching a shirt that looked like Ava's and heading back to the living room at twice the speed she had come up.

Once back in the living room, she helped Ava sit up and get in a comfortable position. When Ava hesitated, her hands started on the shirt buttons, but Ava's own hands stopped her when she only had had the chance to open the bottom two.

“Sara.”

“I don't want you to tear the stitches.”

“I can manage. I feel better already, I promise.”

Sara looked hesitant for a moment longer, but she eventually nodded and stood up.

“I'll go get you some water.”

“Thank you.”

Left to her own devices, Ava struggled a bit with one of the sleeves, but she eventually managed to get changed rather quickly, resting her head on the back of the couch when the shirt was on and buttoned.

Her mind wandered back to Sara's touch, to how it felt to have her fingers trace her own skin, how a moment before she felt freezing and the second Sara had started cleaning the dried up blood around her wound and on her abdomen she suddenly felt warm all over.

When Sara came back, sitting beside her, handing her water, Ava's eyes kept watching her closely, as if they were glued to her.

“Do I have something on my face?”

“Your face is as perfect as always,” Ava murmured, then forced herself to tear her eyes away from the woman beside her.

It was Sara's turn to look at her like she couldn't quite look anywhere else.

“Ava-”

She didn't know what she would have said, she didn't know if she was about to tell the General how scared she had felt for her, how she had almost run all the way to Dr Snow's house and barely kept from doing that, or if the words that were about to slip past her lips would have been a declaration of utter and undeniable love, or even if she was about to give the other woman a piece of her mind for not calling for help and instead going quietly. Sara didn't know, because there was a storm in her heart that hadn't quite yet chose the cloud it was going to pour from.

They never had the chance to find out, because Nate and Quentin made their entrance before she could continue that sentence.

Upon hearing the front door Sara got up from the couch and did her best to appear busy, like she hadn't been lurking around while Ava got changed, so she walked to the nearby desk and busied herself with pouring a glass of water, bringing it to Ava just as her father and Nate entered the room.

Quentin was the first one through the door, he paused for just a moment and then went to sit next to Ava on the couch, placing a hand on top of hers gently.

“How are you feeling?”

“Better already, the pain is fading and a bit of warmth has already come back to me.”

“Good,” he nodded with a faint smile, worry still clear on his face.

Ava frowned a little, wondering if perhaps having them brought to her so late at night might have troubled all of them much more than necessary. Her eyes moved to Nate when he stepped into the room as well.

“I do know with certainty Mr Queen was behind what happened tonight. But I’m afraid I have no way to prove it.”

“Mr Queen was at the tavern, and there’s no way he could’ve slithered out and back in without anyone noticing. He’s still there, we saw him with our own eyes, and Amaya says he’s been loud and cheery all night,” Nate explained.

“He was creating himself the perfect alibi, it appears,” Ava murmured.

“Ava,” Quentin’s voice was soft and caring in a way that scared Ava more than the attack had. She was certain, in that moment, she shouldn’t have worried him at all. His heart couldn’t bear any further weight. “Who did this?”

“That... doesn’t matter. Anyone can do anything, if desperate enough. And I don’t think we should judge someone, or punish someone, for something they had no control over. The hand that pushed in that knife, might as well have been my own.”

“Don’t say that,” Sara sighed. “I do not know why you feel guilty over this but I do know one thing: I trust your judgment above anyone else’s. And if you say it was Mr Queen, then it is Mr Queen we should pursue.”

Ava smiled up at her faintly, then nodded. “I’m sure of it.”

“You did also say there is no proof,” Quentin pointed out.

“I know. I need some time to think it over, go over it in my head one time or two, and then we can reassess.”

Nate and Sara nodded, but Quentin had heard Ava said something similar a few times before and he knew what it meant: she couldn’t tell them there was nothing to be done, that he would simply get away with it. When soldiers needed hope, no matter how faint, Ava was always willing to give them something, to make them want to go on. This wasn’t that different.

“Nate, tomorrow morning, early but not so early that it is odd, go to the Queen’s. Ask Oliver to come with you quietly and bring him here.”

“Robert will surely know something’s wrong,” Nate noted.

“Indeed,” Ava nodded. “Let him think he succeeded, let him think I'm lying on my deathbed.”

Nate nodded. “I will, first thing tomorrow.”

“Quentin, you handle everything I can’t for a few days, please delegate to Hunter anything you can, but do take the decisions yourself, as there’s nobody I trust more.”

He nodded, his eyes shining with a mixture of pride and worry. “We’ll do as instructed. I think you should rest, now.”

“I’ll stay, make sure you don’t need anything,” Nate offered.

“Nonsense, I do not need-“

“I’m not leaving you alone,” Sara interjected, “not when there’s someone out there with his heart set on seeing you dead.”

“Well, if-“

“No, Ava. I know what you’ll say, I am perfectly aware you can take care of yourself, under usual circumstances. But these aren’t! There’s a man out there trying to have you murdered,” her voice trembled on the fearful word. “And I’d rather not see how far he’ll go to make sure you’re gone. He’s almost taken you from me before, but this was so much worse, Ava! Do you know how scared I was when Mr Allen knocked on our door saying you were hurt? How fast and how loud my heart kept beating until I saw you, alive, until I held you again? No, I won’t leave you alone while badly injured, you can tire yourself out fighting me on this or you can simply do as I say for once, and rest now, since you obviously need it,” her hands went on her own waist as she dared Ava to contradict what she was stating with utter certainty.

Ava just looked at her for a moment longer, her eyebrows raised and a faint, barely there smile on her lips. Her eyes darted briefly to a baffled Nate and, when Sara saw him and realized how much she had revealed, her confidence sagged a little.

“I was going to say... that if it’s going to put your fears to rest, both of yours,” she glanced to her cousin, “then of course Nate is welcome to stay.”

“Oh,” Sara’s hands fell from her hips, as she nodded once. It might have been the first time Ava had seen her so embarrassed for something she had said. “Good. Very well, then. I’ll be here as soon as there’s enough light outside to walk the path. Goodnight, General. Goodnight, Nate.”

Quentin patted Ava’s hand twice, smiling fondly at his daughter’s retracting figure, then stood up. “I’ll be back after work, to check on you. And possibly to escort home someone who had insisted she be here the whole day, yes?”

“That would probably be wise, Captain,” Ava nodded, trying not to seem too amused or flushed at Sara’s speech.

Nate nodded politely as Quentin passed him by, then turned to Ava as the front door closed, a sly smile on his face.

He walked to the couch and sat down next to Ava, a knowing glint in his eyes.

“So, that was quite some speech for someone you claim to be nothing more than an acquaintance,” he turned to her slightly, assessing her reaction.

Ava had seen it coming, but the fact that Nate knew, that he found out and she wasn’t the one who told him, it sat wrong with her somehow. It felt wrong in a way she wasn’t able to properly explain. She knew, she was sure then more ever before, she was supposed to be the one who told him.

“I love her, Nate,” her voice came out barely audible.

“I know,” he whispered back. “Despite what you two have been going around saying, everyone knows. Well, everyone who matters. And when you danced with her last Saturday-”

“No, Nate. This has been going on for... a _long_ time.”

“I know, Ava.”

“You really don’t,” she murmured, and when she turned to look at him her eyes were shining. “I’m sorry, I should have told you sooner. I’m afraid I didn’t really know how. And you’ve been so kind, you were always there for me when I needed you to.”

“But you were always there for me, as well,” he placed his hand on hers the same way Quentin had. Ava took it with her own, needing the contact. “You’ve even agreed to be my witness at my wedding, and I know how much you hate ceremonies.”

“Doesn't it make keeping this secret even worse?”

“Whatever secret you thought you were keeping, you weren’t. Ava, I _knew_.”

“You didn’t. You couldn’t have. Nora was the only one who knew.”

Nate frowned, turning to sit sideways so he could face Ava better. “Nora? You wrote her about Sara before she came to visit?”

“I told her about Sara. During the war,” she admitted. When confusion was the only thing she saw on his face, she went on. “When I was a few weeks short of eighteen years old, I had the same discussion I always had with my aunt back then: I wanted to enlist, she wanted me to marry someone of her choosing. I couldn’t bear her anymore, but I knew you weren’t home that day. So long has gone by I couldn’t even tell you why or how I knew, but I found myself walking the road that goes into town for the first time since my parents passed. I almost had half a mind to run away that very moment, but eventually I just stopped and sat on the low wall, the one that faced the front.”

Nate nodded along, waiting for an explanation he knew was coming.

“And out of nowhere... there she was. Making demands that were all but proper, doing everything the way my aunt would only describe to me as rude. I think I fell in love with her, then.” Ava’s tone was fond but her eyes were shadowed, as they always were when she thought back to her days in the war. “I told Nora about her when the pain of the war came to be too much, when I thought I would never actually make it back, I told her why I could never completely lose hope. I loved Sara for years, I loved her when I didn’t know her, I loved her when loving anything seemed pointless and childish. I loved her despite the miles between us, or perhaps because of them, perhaps I wouldn’t have loved her the same way if she had seen how I was back then. I loved her when I had hope she would love me back, and I loved her when I was most certain she never could. Everyday, no matter where I was or what I was doing, no matter how much I came to despise myself, I’ve always loved her. I love her in a way I cannot put into words, in a way I never could have fathomed I could before I did. I see no point in this, in...” she gestured around, to the mansion they were sitting in, to her various possessions, to herself. “...in any of this, in being Governor, even, if not with her by my side and for love of her. I’m _in love_ with her.”

A moment passed and Ava turned to look into Nate’s eyes, her own shining with unshed tears, with fear and regret she had tried to express before, with honesty and joy at the thought of the woman she loved. And in that moment, Nate seemed to understand it all, everything Ava wasn’t saying, everything reflected in her eyes, and more, much more beyond that.

And then he smiled softly and whispered, “I knew.” He blinked away his own tears quickly and let out a small chuckle. “Not the lengths of it, of course. Not even faintly. But I did know you were different with her. Happier. And I did say something to Amaya I’d like you to know as well.”

He got more serious, his eyes shifted down before meeting Ava’s again.

“When we started this, I advised you married someone proper. I might have meant someone well mannered or polite back then, but it was a mistake. If I had to tell you now who was going to win you this campaign, I would in good conscience say her. Sara brings out a side of you that could win you the favour of the public in the blink of an eye. But that’s not why you should marry her.”

“Why should I marry her, then?”

“Because of the way you love her, because of everything you just told me. A love like that, it oughtn’t go to waste.”

Ava smiled, in a way Nate rarely remembered seeing her do. He hugged her shoulders with one arm and a minute later, before he could speak again, he noticed Ava was asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, let me know what you think if you'd like!


	55. The visitors

When Ava started to stir, Sara had been sitting quietly by her side for the better part of an hour. It was telling that the General, usually so hyper aware of her surroundings, had slept through Sara arriving and talking to Nate about how the night had gone, and even Nate leaving after a while, to go fetch Oliver.

He had told Sara the night had been quite uneventful, Ava had talked for a while, then she had fallen asleep with her head on his shoulder. Knowing she’d be sore enough in the morning, from her freshly sowed up wound and from spending the night on the couch, he thought to spare her any neck pains and laid her down. She barely even stirred, so tired she was.

Sara frowned at the assessment, and went to crouch down next to her, feeling her forehead with the back of her hand, suddenly worried something might be wrong.

But there was no fever and even the worried crinkles on Ava's face smoothed out at Sara’s gentle touch, and Ava looked as peaceful as if she was sleeping on the grass, as if they were back at the bay. Watching her sleep now, the memory came back to Sara harshly and yet quietly muted, as if a lifetime had gone by and yet clear as if it had all happened the day before.

Sara kept watching her, trying to imagine what she might have been dreaming about, what could have possibly made the frown she had turn into the content smile she was sporting now. She lost track of how long she had been kneeling quietly when Nate touched her shoulder, gently bringing her out of her amazement, and offering a chair he had dragged there for her, so she wouldn’t have to let go of Ava’s hand to go sit down.

Sara thanked him, smiling softly up at him. Nate beamed back and shook his head to himself, murmuring something Sara couldn’t quiet understand, that sounded awfully like, “How have we been so blind before?”

After some time, he told Sara he was going to the Queen’s and that he’d be back as soon as possible.

Sara told him to take his time, to make sure suspicions weren’t risen.

Eventually, right after Sara let go of her hand to move some hair away from her face, Ava started to stir. Sara took her hand back into hers, almost wishing Ava would go back to sleep, and properly rested for once. Ava’s eyes opened slowly and Sara couldn’t help but smile down at her.

“I must still be dreaming.”

Her voice was rough, in a way that made Sara’s stomach drop in her belly.

“You aren’t, my love. I’m right here,” Sara reassured her.

Ava smiled back at her for a moment, then frowned as she took in her surroundings and the events of the previous night came back to her. She went to sit up so suddenly that Sara had to bolt to help her up, and then sat down on the couch next to her once Ava was seated.

“How long have I kept you waiting?”

“I wasn’t waiting, Ava. You needed the rest. You still do, so feel free to go back to sleep. I was quite enjoying the view, if I may say so.”

Ava smiled down at her own hands, barely able to control her smile, then tried to look serious when she shot Sara a reprimanding look. The look was unconvincing but Sara did her best to look as innocent as she could muster.

“You should have at least tried to wake me up.”

“Nonsense. Nate was here for a while, he ate something and then made himself decent. He headed out a while ago, and I was going to wake you in a few more minutes, so you could be up when they got here. And before you worry about him, he took one of your swords with him, so if anyone tries anything while he's gone he'll be perfectly able to protect himself.”

“How very sensible of you, and him. Thank you.”

Sara smiled and then got up, “I’ll fetch you something to eat, wait for me here.”

It was more of an order than a request, but Ava nodded in agreement, looking after Sara’s retreating form. As soon as she was out of sight, it took Ava less than ten seconds to decide she was going to disobey her.

She got up using her arms as leverage, trying not to strain her abdominal muscles. She then walked slowly to the adjacent room, her study, where she kept a clean uniform jacket and a mirror with a small pot filled with clean water. She cleaned her face, then fixed her hair somewhat. Wearing the jacket was the thing that took the most time, but she managed eventually to get it on. She got back to the living room and then let herself fall on the couch, in the same spot she had vacated not long before, waiting for Sara to be back.

It was only a few minutes later that she saw her walking through the door, a tray in her hands with peeled fruits and water on it. She laid it gently on Ava’s legs, then sat down beside her, half turned to her and watching as Ava started to eat in silence.

Sara was sporting a knowing look when she reached over, took a small piece of apple and brought it to her own mouth, before saying, “Nice jacket, General. Did you summon it from thin air? Are you secretly a sorcerer?”

Ava chewed on the pear she was eating slowly, mulling over her excuse, then smiling sheepishly at the woman beside her.

“How else was I going to win over you heart if not by learning the secrets of the dark arts?”

Sara laughed, genuinely and free of worry, for the first time since Ava had seen her the night before.

“I had asked you to wait here for me nicely, General,” Sara reprimanded, still amused but trying to be stern.

“You did. So very nicely,” Ava was quick to agree. “I must admit I do not follow orders well.”

“Ah. They must’ve made you General out of exasperation then,” Sara scolded, knowing it to be an utter lie. Leaning closer, Sara whispered, “Next time I’ll make sure I ask for you to wait for me in an even nicer way,” and then she kissed Ava’s cheek tenderly.

Ava sighed contentedly and turned to look at her with adoring eyes. “I’ll make sure I abide strictly to what you’ve instructed,” she promised.

Sara couldn’t help but lean down to kiss her softly on the lips, resting her forehead against Ava’s for a moment, before leaning back. Ava still had her eyes closed and a peaceful smile on her lips that reminded Sara terribly of the one she had while sleeping.

She loved that look. When it was just the two of them, it was often she could spot it. When Ava was with Waverider, or at the bay, the peace and joy in her eyes were mesmerizing. Sometimes, if it was just a few friends, it could even make an appearance for a moment or two. But with strangers around, or anyone in uniform, and often even for no reason at all, Ava couldn’t muster that look. There was an heaviness to her, a sadness in her eyes that was always there when she was lost in her thoughts. And Sara knew, she knew what it meant and she knew there were probably ghosts Ava could never truly be rid of.

But in moments like this one, when Ava was unguarded and happy, when it looked like she was at peace with the world around her, these moments were worth the world to Sara. She would have spent a lifetime waiting to see that look in her eyes again, but she never had to. Ava always looked at her like nothing mattered more than them.

And when her eyes opened, whole universes were hidden into them, infinite lifetimes of love and happiness, and Sara wished she could live them all, see them all, give them all back to Ava.

And most of all, that peace Sara sometimes saw there, she wanted to be able to give that back to Ava, to hold at all times, even when they were apart, so that those ghosts could never reach her, so that she could go back to living every minute of her life, free of her burdens.

“What is it?” Ava asked, after studying her expression for a moment.

Sara shook her head. “You just look so serene. Happy.”

“I woke up to your smile. If I could see you first thing in the morning, every morning, I'd always be this content,” she explained like it was a given.

Sara felt her heart beating faster and a foolish smile made its way on her face. “You will, one day. You'll wake up to my face and come home to me every night and when we go to sleep the last thing you'll do is kiss me goodnight. That'll be our life soon enough.”

“It will,” Ava whispered, seemingly amazed by the concept. “The thought alone is enough to make me happy already.”

“It makes me happy as well,” Sara beamed. She leaned in again, kissing Ava softly and smiling against her lips. “_You_ make me happy.”

Ava's lips parted, but before an answer could come out, two sharp knocks at the door interrupted them, and Sara stood up immediately, fixing Ava with a stern look while she moved the tray from Ava's legs to the nearest table and asked her to wait right there while she opened the door for Nate. Ava sighed, but nodded in agreement, and her eyes kept following Sara until she was out of sight.

A moment later, she heard her cousin's voice, followed by Oliver's, as they greeted Sara. But when they got into the living room, there was a fourth person who had yet to speak up.

Ava's content smile, left by Sara's words and lips, vanished immediately. She struggled to get up quickly and Nate, the closest to her, rushed to her side to help her up. Once she was on her feet, she turned to the other three people in the room.

“Mr Queen. Mr Harper.”

“We apologize for the unannounced visit, General, but Roy heard us talking about some sort of... incident, and insisted on paying a visit to you along with myself,” Oliver explained.

Ava was behaving oddly, and Sara was instantly sure something was amiss, but she assumed it was because she wanted to keep the whole ordeal contained, and involving more people was the opposite of what she had wanted. But it was just Roy, and they trusted Roy enough to not be worried about he knowing the truth. Or so Sara had thought.

The General brought a hand to her abdomen, and her shoulders sagged a bit. “Forgive me, I cannot stand properly yet and I must’ve got up too quickly. Sara, could you...” her free hand moved in an inviting gesture, beckoning Sara close.

Nate, already by her side, frowned and held her up by the elbow of the hand she still had pressing against her own stomach.

The rest happened in a split second. Ava pulled on Sara’s hand sharply, until Sara was behind her, while pivoting her left arm away from her abdomen, grabbing the sword hanging at Nate’s waist. In the fraction of a second, the sword was unsheathed and thrown into the hand previously holding Sara’s, as she stepped ahead and sideways until she was standing in front of Sara and Nate, right hand holding out her sword and left one holding the two of them back.

“You shouldn’t have come here. Just because I wouldn’t hurt you when you were threatening me doesn’t mean I won’t if you threaten my loved ones.”

Oliver looked absolutely flabbergasted and somewhat hurt. “Ava, I swear to you I would never betray the trust you-”

“No, Oliver. I know,” she whispered.

But her sword stayed high and her arm was tense despite Sara taking it and gently running soothing circles on it. It just couldn’t be Oliver. It couldn’t. She had really believed he had changed and even before... he might have been a cheater but he had never been this cruel or desperate. And if he truly did do something so terrible, it would have destroyed Laurel. It just couldn’t be.

“Hands up and talk fast,” Ava said harshly. “I won’t give you the benefit of the doubt for a second time.”

It was such a different tone from the night before. Ava was talking about failing the man who stabbed her, convinced it was her own fault. But now here they were, the man was in the same room as Sara and suddenly the thought of him trying something again was unfathomable. Ava was protective of her in a way she had never been of herself.

That was when two hands went up. Just not the ones Sara and Nate were expecting to.

“I can explain. Please, just give me a chance and I’ll tell you everything. I’m here to apologize, then I’ll turn myself in,” Roy’s voice was shaking and he was close to tears.

The weight of his words settled upon them. And then, utter silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm having trouble writing the last few chapters, I'm hoping to get next week's one ready in time, but after that I might skip a week depending on if I find my inspiration in time or not... in the mean time I might start posting a new story I've already finished, maybe? Idk, stay tuned, I guess!
> 
> If you want to talk to me I'm on tumblr: thetruthaboutlovecomesat3am.tumblr.com/


	56. The confession

Everything was still for the longest moment, they could barely believe what was happening, and Ava was still mulling over Roy’s words.

Roy. Roy, to whom Ava had been nothing but kind. She had taken him under her wing, gave him a job, defended him against Robert. She had cared for him, made sure he made friends with her own friends, made sure he was happy and not just busy.

It made no sense. How could he turn against her to do Robert’s bidding?

It made Sara’s blood boil but she suddenly understood why Ava was so reticent to say the name of the man who stabbed her, to send a friend to his death. Sara understood why she felt responsible, yet she shouldn’t have. He had sealed his own fate.

She felt the urge, sudden and overwhelming, to be at the man’s throat. To shake him until he told her why, how he could do this. Until he felt the pain Ava had felt, the worry Sara had felt, the fear Nate had felt.

Until he understood the weight of his actions.

But then, he talked. And from the tone of his voice alone, Sara realized... he knew already. He knew what he had done and the regret was clear even before his speech made sense.

“The day I got here, I told you I could never go back upstate, but I never told you why,” he sighed. “Things were different there. You think Starling’s crumbling under the aftermath of the war, but it’s thriving compared to Governor Darhk’s cities. You’ve served this city well, General. People are managing to go on relatively unscathed, but things aren’t the same elsewhere.”

“I know,” Ava said, her voice already a tad softer, her sword already somewhat lower. “Why do you think I want to take his place?”

Roy sighed again, his hands lowered, but he didn’t move. “Where I lived, the military didn’t help us, and Darhk’s men made sure there was nobody resisting. We lived in fear, starved to death, and the day came I couldn’t take it anymore. So I fought back. I stood up against him, stole food for who needed it, disobeyed his unjust laws. When he found out who I was, what I was doing, and that I’d gathered a group of people ready to help those in need, he issued a warrant. Dead or alive, it said. But of course, of course we knew it meant dead.”

When the tip of Ava’s sword touched the floor, it felt like her thoughts were back to what they had been the previous night: she had failed a friend who needed her.

“By some miracle, he fell hill shortly after. Mr Palmer and Mrs Darhk... I know I shouldn’t say, but I also know you already know this, General. They were helping us, behind the Governor’s back. When he fell hill, she wrote you a letter, sent me here and gave me the advice to ask for your help and do as you said. And so, here I was. You helped me, more than I ever hoped you would. I was beyond grateful, I will forever be in your debt.”

“But then?” Oliver prompted, visibly upset at the notion he was the one responsible for whatever he had been dragged there about.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Ava sighed. “What happened to him was the same thing that saves or dooms us all. It was what made me fight Robert back, it was what made you turn against your own father.”

Oliver shook his head, frowning.

“Love,” Ava whispered.

Roy nodded slowly. “Then, I met Thea. And that changed everything.”

“How did loving my sister lead to you stabbing the General?!” Oliver asked.

“I was seeking your father’s approval. Thea seemed to somewhat care about his opinion, at first at least. We talked when she was there and, since I already told her the truth and didn’t want her to think me a liar, when Mr Queen asked where I was from, I found myself telling him. As it turns out, he’s a good friend of Major Merlyn, Governor Darhk’s right hand. He was quite forthcoming with the warrant pending on my head, as you can imagine.”

Ava could. She could also easily imagine the rest, but Roy went on telling it nonetheless, perhaps for the benefit of his own conscience.

“Then, a few days ago, he came to see me. I thought, perhaps, he was finally ready to accept that I wanted to court his daughter. How foolish of me, hoping for good news. Instead, he told me he knew about my past, about the things I’d done. He said he’d have no problem with me being gone, after all he would have merely been following the law if he reported me to Merlyn. But if I was of use to him, then perhaps he could turn a blind eye, in the name of his daughter’s love for me.”

“And you believed him?” Oliver scoffed. “He was always going to turn you in after you’d done his dirty work, Mr Harper!”

“I know,” he said harshly, then he took a deep breath and his voice went back to only regretful. “I know. But I was dead either way. I thought this was my only way to have my life spared, the off chance that he’d decide on a whim not to report me to Merlyn.”

“So what made you change your mind?” Ava asked, genuinely curious as to what had made the blow to her abdomen such a trembling, weak one.

“Thea. I wondered what kind of man I’d be if I did this and then, last night, I realized something. I was the man she deserves. I think I was, at least, or I was on my way to be. Thanks to you, General. You gave me a job, a purpose when I had lost mine. Here, I found a way to help others in a law abiding manner. We’re building schools instead of squares, and it’s because you fought back when he threatened you, everyone knows it. And I realized, it was my turn to fight back, to stand up to him. You showed me how. I just had to be reminded of that.”

Ava sighed, frowning. The feeling of failure, of dread, she had felt the night before, came back to her in full force.

“He’ll have your life for it, Roy.”

He nodded, his eyes still teary, but he smiled. “Yes, I reckon he will. But I’d rather go like this, fighting back, than live with what I was about to do. You keep fighting him, ok? And you win, for everyone of us who couldn’t.”

Ava shook her head, desperate to find a way to save him. “You can still run. If we arrange for you to leave know-“

“Then nothing will come of this. I... I stabbed you, General. It is time i face the consequences of the choices I’ve made. If I stay, if I say he was the one plotting an attempt on your life, it’ll at least account for something. If he doesn’t go to jail for it, at the very least he’ll lose what credibility he has left.”

“But we have no way to prove he was involved, Roy!” Ava admitted, at last. “I didn’t want Colonel Diggle involved, I didn’t mention your name to anyone, because he build himself an alibi and he’s made sure everyone saw him be happy for me and for Oliver the past week. We can’t do anything to make this worth your life! So no, I can’t allow you to confess to a crime you didn’t even end up committing.”

Sara’s hand on her arm tightened and she pulled on it until Ava turned her head back.

“You knew. It’s why you were stalling, asking to talk to Oliver. You knew nothing can be done, you knew he’s going to get away with it.”

Ava looked down for a moment, then sighed and looked at Sara again. “I knew Colonel Diggle would take Robert's word over mine, he thinks I’m on some revenge quest against him. And I’ve no doubt he’d take his word over Roy’s as well.”

Roy stepped slightly ahead, making them turn to him again.

“Well, what if it wasn’t just my word against his, then?”

When he reached behind his back, Ava's shoulders went rigid and her sword rose slightly, as she subtly placed herself even more firmly between Sara and Nate, and Roy.

Noticing the move, Roy raised his left hand and slowly reached behind him with his right, bringing the object he'd been hiding into view. It was an old rag wrapped around something that oddly resembled the form of a...

“The knife?” Ava asked.

Roy nodded. He unwrapped the blade and part of the handle and Ava recognized the refined pattern on it instantly.

“Why would you bring it here?” Oliver asked, harshly. He was starting to lose his patience with the man beside him.

Roy slowly moved his left hand as well, unwrapping the rest of the cloth and then holding the knife on his open palm. Doing so, allowed them all to see the handle that was hidden when he was holding it the usual way.

It was clear immediately why Ava couldn't have seen it the previous night, because of how Roy was holding it. But right there, clear as day, on the edge of the hilt, was a complex and refined incision that could not be confused with any other.

It was the Queen's family crest.

It was traceable right back to them.

And it was a bloody miracle, it was the definition of too good to be true.

“Why would he give you this?”

“Because he wanted to be there even though he couldn't be. This represented he was the one triumphing over you,” Roy explained. “A man who relishes in pride and power is often clouded by them.”

“Indeed,” Oliver sighed.

“But Diggle could say you could have very well taken it from the Queen's mansion without Robert even knowing,” Nate pointed out.

“Never set foot in it, my father wouldn't let him,” Oliver stepped in. “And it might just work out in our favour, after all.”

“It might,” Ava nodded, but it was still unconvinced.

“That's not all,” Roy shook his head. “You could recognize it, yes? You could say with absolute certainty this is the knife that injured you?”

Ava nodded, sharp and sure. “I have no doubt.”

“Well, it just so happened Thea caught us talking a few days ago. Her father was giving me this very knife, and when she asked him why he would part from his favourite knife, he said it was merely for my own protection. He said he'd chose this one as a symbol of finally accepting Thea's fondness of me.”

“No wonder you felt compelled to do what he asked of you,” Nate sighed. “You really thought it would work out.”

Roy nodded, his eyes downcast. “It wouldn't have. He'd have told Thea he had a change of heart. Probably already has, since he thinks the General's a goner.”

“Well, Mr Harper, I'm feeling quite alive,” Ava smiled at him, stepping ahead after passing the sword in her hand back to Nate. “And I'm feeling quite ready to throw a man in jail for the rest of his life, if you're sure Thea is going to tell the truth.”

“Hasn't she before?” Roy smiled. “I don't know what happened exactly, but I do know Robert was furious because Thea backed you up instead of him.”

_The ring_, Ava thought. _The ring, Thea had lied about._

“Not exactly. She might have... It is possible she has relayed a less accurate version of what had previously transpired after I suggested to her a different scenario from the one she had previously painted.”

Roy frowned, then squinted his eyes.

“She... lied for you?” He looked flabbergasted.

“I wouldn't say she _lied_-”

“She did,” Oliver cut her off, trying not to smile too obviously. “My father might be oblivious to it, but I always know when my sister's lying, General Sharpe,” the glint in his eyes spoke of friendly mischief and Ava could only avoid her eyes briefly, before looking at Roy again.

“There's only one way to know if Thea will tell the truth, I'm afraid. And that is not giving her the time to think of a way to avoid it. We'll take the carriage, if you've come by it,” she gestured to Roy and Oliver, “and Nate will take Waverider. He'll fetch Colonel Diggle and meet us at your house, and once we're all there, we'll tell the Colonel everything. The rest will be up to him and Thea, but our chances suddenly look much better, thanks to your courage, Mr Harper.”

“I'm just trying to right my wrongs, I wouldn't call it courage.”

“I would,” Ava nodded.

“We all do,” Oliver said. “We all made mistakes. But we'll get through this. Together.”

“Nate, leave now. Roy, Oliver, please get the carriage ready. I'm slowed down a bit, but I'll be there in a moment,” she said, then turned to Sara. “Miss Lance, could you do me the courtesy of grabbing one of my swords? I would ask Nate, but seeing as he went out this morning with a dulled edge practice sword, I'd much rather trust you with the task.”

Sara snorted and glanced to Nate, whose cheeks were turning a bright pink, before exiting the living room and heading to the study. Nate cleared his voice, muttered his goodbyes and left immediately after. Oliver and Roy went off to get the horses ready and a moment later Sara caught up with Ava at the front door.

She secured the sword around Ava's waist, the helped her into her coat. Ava did the same, then followed Sara outside.

“Sara, you have to get to your father as quickly as possible,” Ava murmured. “You know there's a chance- If Diggle doesn't believe us, if he doesn't arrest Robert, Roy has to flee. He's stubborn and fierce, but I can't let him die for it.”

“I know,” she smiled quite sadly.

“Could you tell him what happened? Help him get everything ready? If anything goes wrong, Roy will have to leave immediately, and never look back. I'll see you at the Queen's. Your father will know what he needs, just help him get it ready as quickly as possible.”

Sara nodded, leaned forward to kiss her cheek, and then hurried down the road that went to the school as fast as her feet would carry her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this was so late guys, I've been struggling with inspiration. Let me know what you thought!
> 
> If you want you can find me on [tumblr](https://thetruthaboutlovecomesat3am.tumblr.com/)


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